#NewClassicRTMC

Chapter 4
Someone

The atmosphere seemed to grow awkward and uncomfortable once Ike left me with Gian. Tahimik kaming dalawa at ni isa sa amin ay walang nagsalita sa loob ng halos isang minuto.

"Magkakilala kayong dalawa?" Si Gian ang bumasag sa katahimikan na 'yon nang magpakawala siya ng tanong. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. He was looking at me suspiciously. "Ano ang pinag-usapan ninyo habang wala ako?"

As I didn't want to talk about it yet, I shook my head to answer both of his questions. "Wala lang 'yon. Babalik ka na ba sa resort? Magpapahinga lang ako sa kuwarto."

I saw how Gian strained himself not to pry more. He knew exactly when I don't want to talk about something. Kapag pinilit niya ay alam niyang mas lalo ko lang siyang hindi papansinin at kakausapin. Wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang umalis na lamang para bumalik sa trabaho.

Without ado, I went inside my room. Pinakiramdaman kong muli ang pagtibok ng aking puso. It was still beating fast like it had no thoughts of slowing down.

I couldn't blame it though. There was a rush of both excitement and fear running through my veins. I could feel it in me. My mind wasn't functioning properly as well. I couldn't think straight. It was impossible for me to relax and calm down.

I kept looking back on how Ike spoke with me, not just through his lips but also through the determination igniting in his eyes. It was thrilling yet unnerving.

The moment I found him telling the truth, I knew I should be jumping in joy. The hopeful old me would've agreed right away. But since I had changed, I had a different reaction. I couldn't give him an answer. I was hesitating a lot. I kept questioning myself inside my head.

I had been rejected by a number of recording companies or record labels. I acknowledged that I wasn't good enough to be signed. But I took that risk, thinking that it was my last chance. It was the last time I was going to chase my dreams―and I failed. It was just like what I expected.

Even with my hopes up on the sky, at the back of my mind, I knew it would only fall back down. There was an invisible chain tied on my feet to the ground. I would never be able to go any higher.

Yes, I got hurt but to be honest, I orchestrated that fall. I treated that huge fall as a sign. I knew inside me that it was only a fraud but I still took the risk. I used it as an excuse to stop working towards my goal because I had a feeling that I wouldn't succeed no matter what. I needed a reason to convince myself that I already had enough and it was time to stop.

However, I didn't see this coming. Ike's arrival was an unforeseen event in my life. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa oportunidad na ibinibigay niya sa akin. Just when I finally convinced myself to stop, he opened up a new path for me to take. A path that's more reliable. A path that could actually lead me to my goal. He said that he was willing to guide me.

But the biggest question that still remained and left unanswered: Why?

If those record companies rejected me, why would he choose me? Why would he want to gamble with someone like me who has a questionable talent?

Pinilit kong isinantabi ang mga katanungang gumugulo sa aking isipan. I tried to act unaffected for the rest of the day until I arrived at the resort.

Ike caught my attention right away. It wasn't hard for me to spot him even if he was sitting alone at the corner. He didn't notice my arrival though. He was busy eating a pasta dish.

Bahagya akong napanguso. I didn't want to assume but I felt like he came to eat at the restaurant for me. He could have his food delivered to his villa as one of the resort's service. However, he chose to come and eat here.

"Aleena."

Naagaw ni Gian ang aking atensyon mula kay Ike nang lapitan niya ako. I saw him give a quick glance to Ike before setting his eyes on me. Napansin kong hindi pa rin nawawala ang kuryosidad sa kanyang mga mata.

As he's my best friend, I wanted to tell him about the offer, but I had to wait until I was already sure about it. Gian would obviously give his opinions about the offer, and I didn't want my decision to be affected because of that.

"Kumain ka na ba ng dinner?" Instead of asking me about Ike, Gian chose to set that aside.

Tumango ako. "Kumain na ako bago pumunta rito," sagot ko. "Puwede na ba akong kumanta?"

"Of course," he simply replied.

Tinulungan ako ni Gian sa pag-aayos ng stage. Pagkaharap ko sa mga taong nanonood sa akin ay kusa akong dinala ng aking mga mata kay Ike. He stopped eating and focused watching me. He stayed there from start to finish.

For a week, he was always present, watching me during my gigs. His stares made me feel like I was being evaluated while performing. Pakiramdam ko ay pinupuna niya ang mga kahinaan at lakas ko pagdating sa pagkanta at paggawa ng kanta. I even caught him typing down on his laptop while watching me intently.

I always enjoyed performing, but having him around made me feel pressured. I wanted to show my best. I wanted to push myself to my limits. I wanted to prove something to him and to myself.

Pagkatapos ng aking gig ay umaalis na rin kaagad si Ike na para bang ang aking pagkanta lang talaga ang kanyang ipinunta sa restaurant. He wouldn't approach me nor talk to me. He would just quietly sit at the same table every night and watch me sing.

Mukhang napansin na rin iyon ni Gian at hindi na niya napigilan ang kanyang kuryosidad patungkol kay Ike. Si Auntie Divina ang kanyang nilapitan upang makahanap ng kasagutan.

"May nakapagsabi sa akin na parang may guest sa resort na nagmamanman sa 'yo, ah?" Auntie Divina tried to conceal Gian's name, but I knew that information came from him. "Kilala mo ba 'yon?"

"Hindi ko po alam ang sinasabi ninyo," sabi ko na lang.

Medyo naningkit ang mga mata ni Auntie Divina sa akin. "Basta mag-iingat ka lagi," paalala niya. "Hindi tayo nakakasigurado. Madaming mga tao ang mga nananamantala ng kahinaan ng isang tao."

Tipid akong ngumiti at tumango upang mapanatag ang loob niya. "Opo, Auntie. Mag-iingat po ako."

I learned the hard way. She didn't have to remind me at all. Iyon nga ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ako makagawa-gawa ng desisyon kahit na isang linggo na ang nakakalipas. I was being cautious of everything―even of my own self.

Dala-dala ang aking gitara, nilagpasan ko ang mga taong sinusulit ang mga nalalabing araw ng kanilang bakasyon sa dagat. Dire-diretso ang aking lakad hanggang sa dulo ng resort. Hindi pa ako ulit nakakabalik doon magmula noong nilapitan ako ni Ike.

But since there was no longer a reason to avoid the place, and I was craving for peace outside our home, I decided to come by to my haven which is one with nature.

Pagkarating ko sa may duyan ay tinanggal ko ang aking gitara sa lalagyanan nito bago isinandal sa may puno. I was careful when sitting down the hammock because I was carrying my guitar. And once I was seated properly, the wind blew towards my way and I took a deep breath at the same time.

I closed my eyes and slowly rocked myself on the hammock. The tranquility allowed me to meditate. Having peace of mind brought me back to the place I often explore to find and discover a new sound for my music.

I stayed that way for a few minutes until I positioned my hands on the guitar. I placed my fingers to form a chord on the fret and I carefully tried to strum, seeing if I found the right sound to start the song. There was a feeling of relief when I heard the harmonious sound along with the melody in my head.

Tinuloy-tuloy ko ang pagtugtog sa aking gitara. Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa maputing buhangin kung saan nakatapak ang aking mga paa.

Ang pangalan mong isinulat sa buhangin
Ay tuluyan nang binura ng alon
Kahit na ilang beses ulitin
Ay laging naglalaho

I unconsciously started singing the lyrics I just thought of from looking at the sand.

Hahayaan na lang
Kung hindi para sa akin ay hindi na pipilitin pa
Hahayaan na lang...
Oh-oh-oh
At kung hindi ka para sa akin ay hahayaan na lang

After singing the song up to the first chorus, I smile spread across my face. Even though the lyrics were still a rough draft, I was kind of satisfied with it already. It just needed a small revision.

Natigil ako sa pag-iisip na ayusin ang kanta. Parang noong sinulat ko ang You ay sinabi ko sa sarili kong ayon na ang huling kanta na aking isusulat. But making a new song just came out naturally like it's really a part of me.

Out of nowhere, I heard a soft and quiet applause. I snapped my head to see Ike. He was standing before the sign that Gian placed back then.

As far as I could remember, he was also standing there when he approached me. He didn't dare come close. Maybe he was complying with the sign that no tourist or guest is allowed to cross that.

"You're really good," Ike complimented me as he removed his wayfarer and put it on his shirt's neckline. "But I can also tell that you still have a lot to improve."

His short, honest evaluation of my skill sat on my stomach uncomfortably. It sounded hopeful, especially when he complimented me, but his last words echoed in ear. I felt slightly disheartened because of it.

"Do you mind if I borrow the guitar from you?" he politely asked.

Nagdalawang-isip ako sa pagpayag sa kanya. If I let him borrow my guitar, it also means that I'm letting him in to my personal space. Pero dahil kuryoso ako sa gagawin niya sa aking gitara, tumango ako bilang pagpayag.

A small smile touched his lips while approaching me with confident steps. I didn't have to remind him to be careful with my vulnerable guitar when he took it from me. He already knew how important it is. And to be honest, the way he held my guitar was even more careful than how I do it.

"Thank you," pasasalamat niya nang makuha ang gitara.

He moved three steps away from me before he sat on the sand, slightly facing me. He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. Napatagilid pa ang ulo ko habang pinapanood siya. Kita kong kinuha niya ang kanyang sariling guitar pick mula doon.

Just by seeing him using his own guitar pick to play my guitar, I was already fascinated. Even the way he held my guitar was different. I could tell that he's really in a different level than I am.

The moment he started playing flawlessly, it tugged my heartstrings. He was playing at ease even with those hard strumming and plucking patterns. Even the way his fingers shifted from chord to another chord, I couldn't find any faults.

Walking along an endless path
Not knowing where to go

His singing voice made my heart feel warm as the heat coming from the sun stepping down from its highest peak. I thought he was only a guitarist but his voice sounded soothing to my ears.

You took the risk
You took the fall
You're hurt, wanting to go back home

There was a gentle clenched on my stomach when I felt the emotions coming from his voice. I couldn't pull my eyes away from him.

Blue skies
Blue seas
Be true to yourself
Be blue

Blue skies
Blue seas
Stay true to yourself
Be blue

The lyrics made me draw an image in my mind. I was drawing something very familiar until I realized that I was drawing myself. I felt like the song was speaking to me. It was narrating how I was feeling and how it hoped that I'd be fine after getting lost.

The music slowly fade with the sound of the whispering wind. I looked at Ike as he took a moment to breathe before relaxing his arm on the curve of my guitar.

"It's a song included in our second mini album," Ike told me and turned his head towards my direction. "We wrote this song to encourage people to accept their flaws, be true to themselves, and to not give up."

"Kayo ang nagsulat ng kanta?" Medyo gulat ako at hindi makapaniwala.

He nodded with a faint smile. "All our songs are our own composition."

Mas lalo lamang akong nakaramdam ng pagkamangha para sa kanya. To think that his band received a lot of achievements from the songs they wrote themselves, I wondered how fulfilling or rewarding it was for them.

"We were just a group of teenagers before who loves playing music. We formed a band so that we could play after class if we have nothing else to do," he started telling me their story, and I became very attentive. "And then, we started doing gigs―just like you."

Nag-angat siyang muli ng tingin sa akin. I felt a spark inside me when his eyes held my stare.

"We were lucky to be scouted by a talent agent during one of our gigs which led us to where we are right now," he said. "I'm sure you're wondering why I came all the way here to cast you as my mentee for the survival show."

Naglakas-loob akong tumango dahil iyan ang isa sa mga tanong na naglalaro sa aking isipan.

"You are passionate when it comes to music. You have the talent. You are not just given enough opportunity to show what you can really do," he said without hesitation.

I bitterly smiled. "Masaya akong ganyan ang tingin mo sa akin," sabi ko sa kanya. "It's embarrassing to tell you this but I have a lot of opportunities that I built for myself. You don't know how many times I tried. I even lost count myself. Kaya nga lang ay lagi akong natatanggihan. Lagi akong talo. Madami pa akong dapat matutunan."

Ibinaba ko ang aking mga mata sa aking kamay. I could see some callouses on the tip of my fingers from playing guitar.

"I love singing and songwriting, but I'm afraid that it's not really for me... I already lost the confidence in myself," I opened up my worries to him. "Natatakot ako na baka gaya lang ng dati ay matatalo lang ako ulit." With an exhale, I blinked up to him. "I'm sure you wouldn't want someone like me who's already lost faith in her own self. I would just bring you down."

Ike didn't speak. He just listened to me without any reaction at all.

And so, with a forced smile, I told him, "For the sake of your reputation, I suggest you to find someone else."

Pagkasabi ko noon ay parang pinipigilan ko ang aking sarili na huminga. Natatakot ako na kapag pinakawalan ko ay maramdaman ko ang sakit dahil ayaw ko naman talagang hayaan na lumipas lang ang pagkakataong 'yon. But my fear was also holding me back. I needed an assurance from myself that I could really do it; that I wouldn't bring humiliation; that I wouldn't be a disappointment.

Ike's gaze on me intensified. We were drowned by the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. He quietly stood up, walked closer, and returned my guitar.

Biting my lower lip, my head fell after taking the guitar back.

I thought that was it. He's finally giving up on me. But then, he suddenly knelt down on one knee. His gentle eyes searched for mine as he looked at my face closely.

"I'm not looking for someone who's great, Aleena. I'm not looking for someone perfect," he told me, clearing out his intentions. "I'm looking for talent and potential. I want someone who's willing to learn. I'm looking for someone who has the passion for music."

I held my breath as he was too close to me. I could feel my heart going wild inside my chest.

"It happens that the person I'm looking for turns out to be you." He offered me a smile which already carried half my worries off my back. "And I'm going to do anything just to make you say yes."