#NewClassicRTMC

Chapter 10
Promise

On the way home, we were all silent inside the car that you could hear a pin drop. I was feeling depressed and very lethargic, like all the energy inside me had been sucked up, and I was left with nothing but pain which was concealed by numbness.

Mabilis kaming nakauwi sa bahay. Gian stepped on the break once we reached our house. I remained looking on the road, without any thoughts of going out.

"Salamat sa pagsama sa amin, Gian," pasasalamat ni Auntie Divina.

"Wala pong problema, auntie," agad na balik ni Gian.

"Oh sige," sabi na lang ni Auntie. "Aleena, tara na."

I didn't move even when I was called. I could feel their eyes on me. Mas lalong naging tahimik ang paligid. Napalunok ako bago nilingon si Gian at nagsalita.

"Puwede bang ihatid mo ako sa resort?" I asked him for a favor.

Gian looked conflicted after he heard my request. I saw him giving a quick glance at Auntie Divina, asking for her permission. And because I didn't want to be rude, I also looked back to face her.

"Auntie, pupunta lang po ako saglit sa resort..." paalam ko.

I just really wanted to have some time alone in an open space. Pakiramdam ko ay kapag sa kuwarto ako nanatili nang mabigat ang aking nararamdaman ay hindi ako makakahinga nang maayos.

Napabuntonghininga nang malalim si Auntie Divina. "Oh sige..." pagpayag niya. "Basta umuwi ka bago maghating gabi."

Tipid akong napangiti at napatango.

With that, Gian drove past their house for a minute to drop me off their resort instead of going home straight from ours. He was about to turn off the car's engine by pulling out his key, probably to go out and accompany me. But before he could do so, I held out my hand to stop him.

"Gusto kong mapag-isa, Gian..." sabi ko sa kanya.

He looked troubled as he bit his lower lip while looking at me. "I'm worried about you, Aleena," he told me, his eyes were filled with concerned. "I really don't want to leave you alone right now."

"I'll be fine. Wala akong gagawing masama sa sarili ko," I said to assure him. "I just really want to be alone. Ibigay mo na sa akin 'to."

Gian was reluctant to leave me alone, but he nodded his head to give in to my request. "Okay..." he said under his breath. "But please message me once you're home, okay? If you want me to pick you up and walk you home, don't hesitate to call me or send me a text."

Tumango-tango na lang ako sa kanyang mga paalala sa akin. "Thank you."

I honestly couldn't thank Gian enough. Medyo nahihiya rin ako sa aming maikling pagtatalo tungkol kay Ike. I knew he was just worried about me but I got triggered with the way he talked about Ike. Who would've thought that he was speaking the truth? Dapat ay nakinig na ako sa kanya noong una pa lang at hindi na nakipagtalo pa.

His eyes softened and said, "You're welcome."

The security and some staffs of the resort were surprised to see me there late at night. I just smiled at them as they greeted me. I past by the main office, cottages and rooms on my way to the beach. I saw a few people having a peaceful time at the shore.

Hindi ko na nga lang sila gaanong binigyan ng pansin. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at tinungo ang lugar kung sana ako puwedeng mapag-isa. I was relieved to see that no one was near my haven.

Without ado, even though the sea breeze was a bit cold, I also took off the white cardigan that I was wearing over my yellow summer dress. I also removed my bun to free my hair from being tied and the accessories Auntie Divina asked me to wear. I carefully laid it all on the cardigan before removing the strap of my sandals.

However, although I removed all those things to make me feel lighter, nothing changed. I walked near the waters and carefully squatted with my feet and knees stuck together.

I felt the rush of waves on my feet as they were pushed onto the shore. I leaned over to meet the calm waves and scoop some sea water using both of my hands.

Closing my eyes tightly, I used the sea water to wash my face and remove my makeup. Some got squeezed into my eyes that it stung a bit, but that didn't stop me. I rubbed my face with the water until I couldn't feel the greasiness from the beauty products I used. I cleaned my skin until I felt bare.

Once I was done, I relaxed and sat on the sand with feet extended to the sea. I secured the skirt of my dress underneath my legs and leaned back as I used my hands for support.

I knew exactly why those people at the beach were out tonight. Ahead of me was a spectacular view of nature that humans could never replicate. The moon was rounder and bigger than usual. It was also closer to the sea that the moonlight was reflecting on the surface of the water.

Despite the want to be alone, the moon and the stars keeping me company brought me comfort. Even in the darkest nights of my light, they shone light me.

To be honest, I already expected the outcome. I knew I wouldn't have the chance to win the moment I stood on the stage, feeling like I was lost. It was like I was out of place. My mind was elsewhere. I was there physically but my soul wasn't. I was a stranger to the place where I used to feel so alive and free.

And then, everything got worse the moment my guitar strings snapped. Having the courage to finish the song, in the face of the embarrassment I felt, didn't appeal to the judges.

I guessed I wasn't really good enough to be given such recognition. I didn't regret joining the competition even if I lost. At least I finally knew my limitations. I should just enjoy making music as a hobby and stop trying to push myself going beyond what I could really achieve.

Moreover, if I was disappointed and hurt that Ike didn't show up during the competition, I felt relieved after knowing the results. I was thankful that he didn't see that embarrassing moment. I was glad that he wasn't there to witness how hopeless and humiliating I was in front of the audience and judges making fun of me.

It would be a waste of time, money, and effort if he went back for me. He would just be disappointed. I would just prove to him that he was wrong for choosing someone like me who wasn't worthy to be mentored by a successful and respected musician and artist like him.

"I have a feeling that you'll be here."

I almost jumped in surprise when I heard a very familiar voice that I didn't expect to hear. Even though I was afraid to meet him, my head voluntarily turned to face him.

There was Ike, standing just a meter away from me. He was wearing an all-black suit and black leather shoes that the sports duffel bag hanging on his shoulder seemed unfit. His hair was also brushed up a bit―styled in a way I had not seen from him before. He looked like he just came straight from a formal event.

While he took cautious steps to move closer, I stood up to face him properly.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't able to watch you perform," he began apologizing and explaining himself. "I was supposed to be here earlier. The live press con got delayed because of technical difficulties so I had to reschedule my flight. It ended behind schedule. Hindi rin agad nakaalis and eroplano pagkadating sa airport dahil malakas ang ulan sa Manila. We had to wait until the rain calmed down for our safety."

Ike was trying to catch his breath while explaining everything to me. Like what I had thought of, some things happened on his end which caused delay and it was out of his control. I should be happy that he didn't plan to deliberately break my trust. However, I only felt worse, knowing that I was the one breaking his trust that time around.

Sana ay hindi na lang siya dumating pa. Sana ay hindi na lang siya bumalik.

"You shouldn't have come back..." I voiced out the words inside my head without thinking twice.

Ike's lips parted slightly. His gaze full of emotions looked at me without shying away. It stirred up something inside me. Afraid that I might recognize those uneasy feelings, I decided to chase it away.

"I understand..." he said calmly after a while. "I assumed you'd be mad at me. I already expected this and that's why I explained what happened."

I suddenly started feeling frustrated as he was going in the wrong direction. He misunderstood the reason why I said those words.

"I didn't want that to happen. I was also frustrated," he said but frustration wasn't even showing in his eyes. It was like he was used to hiding those negative emotions that he buried it too deeply. You wouldn't be able to see it even if you look closely. He was still calm and composed as ever. "I'm really sorry, Aleena."

Bahagyang napakunot ang aking noo. "Hindi naman ako galit sa 'yo," paglilinaw ko.

A hint of surprise flashed in his eyes. "You're not mad?" he asked in disbelief. "Then why?" Gulong-gulo siya at mukhang hindi talaga naiintindihan ang aking nararamdaman.

Forgetting about my fears of disappointing him, I exhaled deeply. "I didn't win the contest," I finally admitted and told him what happened.

It was his turn to narrow his brows. "Ano ang kinalaman no'n sa pagbalik ko?"

Napaawang ang aking mga labi. Pakiramdam ko ay kailangan ko nang matinding pasensya upang ipaliwanag sa kanya ang lahat.

"We had a deal," I reminded him of the deal we made a few weeks ago. "I told you that if I didn't win the contest, I won't join the survival show. I won't accept your offer. Hindi ako sasama sa 'yo sa Maynila."

When he finally seemed to realize what I was talking about, his shoulders slowly fell as he relaxed. Mas lalo siyang nagmukhang kalmado.

"So, you were talking about that..." he whispered quietly like he was talking to himself. "That deal has nothing to do with me, Aleena."

"Ha?" Ako naman ang naguluhan sa aming dalawa.

"You made that deal to yourself, but not to me," he explained briefly. "I don't remember agreeing. You just made that up on your own. I just supported you on this contest because you were working very hard for it. That's all."

It felt like I was being pranked. I creased my forehead while looking at Ike, confused and bewildered.

"But I still lost," iyon na lamang ang nasabi ko.

"So what?" He sounded nonchalant.

"That means that you're just wasting your time on me!" I told him frankly and stopped trying to make him take the hint. "Can't you see? I'm not capable and talented enough that's why I didn't win! Kaya gaya ng sabi ko noon, maghanap ka na lang ng iba. Find someone who could help you keep your reputation and not destroy it."

He chuckled hoarsely and placed his duffel bag down before sitting down on the sand. He averted his eyes on me and looked up ahead to the horizon.

I felt like he wasn't taking our conversation seriously. Para bang hindi niya talaga ako pinapakinggan.

"Honestly, I kind of expected already that you wouldn't win the competition..." Ike said without sugar coating his words.

Naramdaman ko ang matinding kirot sa aking puso nang sabihin niya 'yon. His words slapped harder than not winning the competition at all.

"But that doesn't mean that I don't believe in you," he added and looked up to me with a gentle smile on his face.

The pain I felt inside my heart magically disappeared.

"Why don't you sit beside me before we continue talking?" he said out of the blue and tapped the space beside him. "Baka mangalay ka kapag matagal kang nakatayo."

Kahit na nagdadalawang-isip ako at ayaw ko namang talagang umupo ay kusa ang katawan kong gumalaw upang sumunod sa kanyang gustong mangyari. I sat beside him with his duffel bag in between us.

Mas lalong sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. Mabilis niyang hinubad ang suot na suit at walang salitang inilagay iyon sa aking likod bago muling humarap sa dagat habang ako ay nanatiling nakatingin sa kanya. I was stunned because of that chivalric move, but I was even more astonished with the view. The moonlight was illuminating on his face that I caught a flash of silver in his eyes. I never thought that looking at him would be more beautiful than looking at the moon.

"I don't want to discredit the winners of the competition, but most judges from local singing competitions have this stigma where they tend to put higher scores on contestants who could sing high notes rather than their musicality," he shared his thoughts. "I don't want to generalize them but that's what I observed. I can't blame them though, especially if those contestants have great techniques."

Dahil hindi ko inalis ang aking tingin sa kanya, nang lumingon siya pabalik sa akin ay agad muling nagtama ang aming mga mata.

"The song you created for the competition is soft and melancholic," he told me. "It's not the kind of song you would usually sing in competitions. There's no explosive high notes that they are looking for. And that's why I expected that you wouldn't win."

Ike offered me his smile which was filled with sincerity. My heart melted because of the warmth I felt inside.

"Don't let the result of the competition bring you down, Aleena. Each person has different standards. Those judges might not see the talent you have, but I do. I saw it well enough to confidently say that I made the right decision in choosing you. I didn't regret coming here for you," he said without hesitation. "But you know what? My opinion of you shouldn't even matter. What's important is your own opinion. You should stop seeking validation from other people and start believing in yourself because I believe that the greatest gift you could give yourself is trust."

Each word that came out of Ike's lips gave me enlightenment. It gave me so much strength and courage. Once again, he came to save me from drowning in insecurities. He didn't let me get pulled down by the haunting thoughts I had inside.

"But this is what I'm going to promise you, Aleena..." Ike turned his whole body to me, still sitting on the sand. The seriousness in his eyes lingered on mine, and I held my breath while waiting for what he was going to say. "Even if the whole world stops believing in you, I won't―that's my promise to you."