#NewClassicRTMC

Chapter 1
Identity

Birds were singing outside, along with the sound of the whispering wind and crashing waves adding melody to the morning song. It was the same song I used to hear every morning. It was my kind of wake up call by nature.

As it was time to start a brand new day, I slowly opened my eyes. I was greeted by the same view ever since I was a child. I looked around my room just to make sure that nothing really changed, except for my luggage left untouched and my guitar that I forgot to put on its stand after playing my feelings all out before falling asleep.

A bitter smile touched my lips as the bitterness flowed through my veins. If everything went exactly as planned, I should be waking up in Manila, starting to live my dream and become a singer. But that dream was gone, along with my will to keep dreaming. Being stuck in Roxas was my reality. I should just accept that the dream I ought to have wasn't for me.

Dahan-dahan akong bumangon habang hinuhubad ang pang-ipit na nasa aking palapulsuhan. Itinali ko ang aking mahabang buhok at saka tinungo ang bintana upang buksan at makapasok ang hangin. The salty scent coming from the sea enveloped my nose. While taking a deep breath in front of the open window, I stretched my arms and craned my neck. The clean air and pristine view made me feel relaxed somehow.

Pagkatapos mag-inat ay lumapit ako sa aking gitara upang kuhanin iyon. I sat on the bohemian carpet instead of sitting on the small couch inside my room and placed the guitar on my lap.

I drew my fingers along the curve of the guitar and positioned it on the strings. One look and you could tell my guitar was already used for years. The black paint was already fading. Even if I tried my best to take care of it and keep it maintained, it couldn't keep up with time.

Auntie Divina offered a few times to buy me a new guitar. And when I started earning from doing gigs and part-time, she urged me to buy one. However, I just really couldn't find it in me to replace my guitar. I knew I could still keep it with me even after buying a new one, but I wanted to use it until it was totally unusable.

My guitar originally belonged to my mother and it was gifted by my father when they were still dating. Nasa akin pa nga ang note na kasama no'n. My mother kept in inside the guitar case. Hindi ko na rin iyon tinanggal pa. I would always read it whenever I wanted to be reminded of my parents that I already memorized it by heart.

Mahal kong Cierra,

Ang pagbibigay ko sa 'yo ng gitara na 'to ay katumbas ng pagbibigay ko ng parte ng aking buhay sa 'yo. Ang tanging hiling ko ay ang makasama ka at ang musika habang buhay.

Nagmamahal,
Maynard

It was obvious that my love for music came from my parents. It played a huge part in their relationship that's why it also meant so much to me. And through my father's note I believed that he really loved me and my mother. I had no idea why he left us, but I was sure he had a reason which was valid enough to leave his lover and daughter. Ayon ang pinanghahawakan ko. Ayon ang pinaniniwalaan ko.

Closing my eyes, I positioned my left fingers on the fret. I tried to play the faint melody that I was creating inside my head. However, it seemed like I couldn't get the chords right. It was frustrating me that I couldn't get it out of me. In the end, I just stopped playing and went out of my room.

Hindi na ako nagulat nang makita ko si Gian sa hapag. He was having a serious conversation with my auntie. Siguro ay alam niya na ang nangyari sa akin. I did not have the chance to tell him last night, but I guessed my auntie was the one who informed him.

Kitang-kita ko sa kanilang mga mata ang pag-aalala sa akin. But since I didn't want to worry them more, I put a smile on my face as I showed up.

"Good morning," magandang bati ko sa kanila bago ko nilingon si Gian. "Bakit ang aga mong nandito?"

I tried to act casual as I could. Gian narrowed his eyes while staring at me. Natural kong iniwas ang tingin sa kanya at nilingon si Auntie Divina. Nag-iisip ako ng puwede kong itulong sa kanya, ngunit kita kong nakapaghain na siya ng umagahan.

"Kumain ka na, Aleena," sabi sa akin ni Auntie Divina. "Sabayan mo na si Gian."

I pursed my lips a bit and sat in front of Gian. Nagsimula akong magsandok ng aking makakain. Ramdam kong nakatitig pa rin sa akin ang matalik na kaibigan. Hindi nga lang siya makapagsalita dahil kasama pa namin si Auntie Divina.

"Maiwan ko na kayong dalawa at mauuna na ako sa resort," paalam ni Auntie Divina. Mukhang tapos na siyang kumain ng umagahan. "Gian, ikaw na ang bahala sa pamangkin ko."

Ngumuso ako at hindi pinansin ang bilin ni Auntie Divina kay Gian. And once she was gone, silence took the opportunity to reign in between us. Sa sobrang tahimik naming dalawa ni Gian ay naririnig ko ang pagkaluskos ng mga puno sa labas.

I remained calm even though the unusual awkwardness was eating me up. But as soon as I lifted my head to look at Gian, I choke on my food when I saw him glaring at me. Napabuntonghininga naman siya at agad na ibinigay sa akin ang kanyang inumin dahil hindi pa ako nakakapagsalin sa aking baso.

"Hindi mo kailangang magpanggap sa harap ko, Aleena," mahinahon niyang sabi sa akin habang iniinom ko ang tubig. "I know you're having a hard time. Kung gusto mo ay ipapahanap ko ang agent na 'yon upang makasuhan. Just tell me. Kakausapin ko rin si daddy para matulungan tayo."

Nang mawala ang nakabara sa aking lalamunan ay maingat kong ibinaba ang baso. Kita ko sa mga mata ni Gian na seryoso siya sa pagpapahanap sa babaeng nanloko sa akin.

Umiling ako bilang pagtanggi. "Huwag na," sabi ko. "Kalimutan na lang natin 'yon."

That would be a great idea, if I'd be honest. Pero gaya ng sabi ko ay wala akong pakialam sa nawala sa akin. Even if we successfully put her behind the bars, nothing would change. My dreams would remain to be unfulfilled because right from the start, I didn't have the chance I thought I had.

"Are you serious about that?" paninigurado ni Gian.

While nodding my head, I smiled wide enough to assure him.

Kahit na mukhang nag-aalangan si Gian sa paniniwala sa akin ay pinaglapas niya na lang ang kanyang pagdududa. But I should've expected that it wouldn't just end there.

"What's your plan now?" he asked carefully.

Mula sa pagkain ay nag-angat akong muli ng tingin sa kanya. Binitiwan ko ang kubyertos. I actually had not thought about what to do, but since he asked, I couldn't help but think about it.

"Baka siguro magfi-file na ako ng application para sa LET next year at magrereview na rin ako," I voiced out the answers inside my head. "Itutuloy ko na lang ang pagti-teacher para may mas maayos akong trabaho. I shouldn't just settle with my part-time jobs. Kailangan kong tulungan si Auntie sa mga gastusin. At para na rin magamit ko ang pinag-aralan ko."

I graduated last year with a Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education. I took that course even though I didn't dream about becoming a teacher. I wanted to study music but there was no such course related to music on our university. Ang sabi ni Auntie Divina ay education na lang ang kuhanin ko kaya sinunod ko ang payo niya. Importante raw na may natapos ako para kung sakaling hindi umayon ang takbo ng buhay sa aking mga plano ay mayroon pa rin akong babagsakan. It was important to have another option.

Good thing I took her advice before. If I didn't do as she said then I wouldn't have a fallback.

"But are you still going to sing at the resort?" sunod niyang tanong.

"Hmm... Habang nagrereview pa siguro ako ay itutuloy ko pa ang gigs sa resort ninyo," sagot ko. "But once I get in for a teaching job after getting my license, baka huminto na ako."

Gian timidly nodded his head.

I was grateful that he gave me that job. He offered me a gig where I would sing one to two songs at their resort's restaurant and bar every night for two hundred pesos. I didn't hesitate when I accepted the job. I love singing, and performing in front of other people has always been my dream. It also served as a training to me. Too bad I wouldn't be needing it anymore.

"I understand. But that means you'll sing later, right?" he asked, sounding a bit hopeful. "Hindi pa ako nakakakuha ng papalit sa 'yo."

Gian made it sound like my job at his family's resort was essential that he had to find someone to replace me. Sa pagkakaalam ko nga ay hindi naman talaga kailangan ng performer sa restaurant. Talagang kinuha lang niya ako upang mabigyan niya ako ng trabaho na gusto kong gawin. Fortunately, so far, the guests who got to listen to me sing liked my performances.

Bahagya akong natawa at saka tumango. "Kakanta ako mamaya." Sana nga lang ay makatugtog ako nang maayos at maitabi ko pansamantala ang gumugulo sa aking isipan.

Right after eating breakfast with me, Gian left to work while I washed the dishes and took a bath. During my spare time, I organized my things back on my cabinet and drawers from the luggage. Hindi ako nagtagal sa pag-aayos dahil kaunti lang naman ang mga gamit ko. I also tried to do small rearrangements on the interior of my room. It somehow gave an illusion of having a fresh start.

Once I was satisfied with how my room looked, I went to the kitchen and cooked food for lunch. Madami-dami na ang niluto ko gaya nang madalas kong gawin dahil iyon na rin ang ulam namin para sa hapunan. I took my time eating late lunch since I had plenty of spare time. And then, I decided to practice on the beach for my gig because it was suffocating to stay at home.

Sukbit ang aking guitar case, sumakay ako sa aking bisikleta upang tumungo sa resort na hindi kalayuan sa aming bahay. Within just three minutes of cycling, I already reached the resort. Kilala na ako ng mga staffs doon kaya agad din akong nakapasok. I went straight to the restaurant because I knew that was where I could find Gian, and I wasn't wrong. Nahanap ko siyang kinakausap ang foreigner na guest ng resort.

After he graduated, his parents asked him to manage the resort's restaurant―that's what keeping him busy most of the time. Minsan nga ay hindi ko alam kung paano pa siya nakakahanap ng oras na sumama sa akin tuwing may mga lakad ako. He would also hang out with me from time to time.

Gian must had sensed my arrival since he glanced my way the moment I came in. Ayoko siyang istorbohin sa kanyang trabaho kaya sumenyas lang ako na ilalagay ko ang guitar case sa kanyang opisina.

Mukhang naintindihan niya naman ang nais kong iparating kaya itinuon niya ulit ang buong atensyon niya sa guest. I quickly unzipped my guitar case and carefully pulled my guitar out of it. Agad din akong umalis nang makuha ko ang gitara. I brisk walked my way out of the restaurant and went to the beach.

As expected, there were a lot of people playing on the beach. It was almost crowded―a not-so-surprising scene every summer season. And as a person who digs peace and quiet, I walked past the crowd until I reached the secluded part of the resort.

It was just a small part of the property. Mayroon akong ipinakabit kay Gian na hammock dito kung saan ako madalas nagpapalipas ng oras. May mga iilang turistang nakakadiskubre ng lugar na 'to, ngunit nilagyan ni Gian ng karatula na bawal ang mga turista upang maging eksklusibo lamang para sa akin.

Kaya naman tuwing ayaw kong manatili sa aking kuwarto sa bahay ay pumupunta ako rito kapag gusto kong mapag-isa. Madalas din ay rito ako nakakakuha ng inspirasyon sa paggawa ng bagong kanta.

I rarely performed song covers during gigs. Ever since I was in high school, I already took interest writing songs so I used those songs instead. But I had to admit that not all songs I composed were good enough to be heard by other people. Madami pa akong tinatago at balak kong isulat muli ang mga kantang 'yon kapag mas naging maalam ako sa paggawa ng kanta.

Even though I know how to compose, I'm still an amateur and I still have a lot of room for improvement. Kaya nga lang ay dahil wala na akong dahilan upang magpatuloy pa, hindi ko alam kung magagawa ko pa iyon balang araw.

With a heavy sigh, instead of sitting on the hammock, I sat on the white pristine sand with my legs crossed and the guitar on my lap. In front of me was the crystal blue ocean with waves gently crashing on the shore.

My thoughts were haywire but once I looked straight on the horizon up ahead, peace dawned on me. Kumalma ang aking puso at isipan kahit papaano. I felt the sea breeze grew cold but warm enough not to let me shiver.

However, that pleasant feeling only lasted for a fleeting moment. My throat felt tight. My stomach clenched. I was staring straight at the ocean kissing the sky. Painted with sweet colors of orange, pink, and violet, the cotton candy skies should be a treat to my sight. But my mind's eye was somewhere far, a place where I couldn't go. It's a place that I couldn't discover and explore.

Even though emotions welled up within me, I didn't shed a tear. The pain was cutting me to the core but I couldn't get it out inside me. I was wrong when I thought that I already cried enough tears. Joke was on me to think that I wouldn't feel hurt after that.

I embraced the body of my guitar tight and rested my head on top of it, just like a kid hugging her parent for comfort.

Music has been my company ever since. Whenever I was in my highest or lowest, I would just play my guitar and sing. That was how I lived my life, like my world only revolved around music.

To be honest, I didn't know how I'd start letting go of something that kept me alive. I didn't know how to stop myself from dreaming. But I knew I had responsibilities to shoulder. I couldn't keep relying on Auntie Divina. I had to repay her. I needed to rearrange my plans and be practical.

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard footsteps on the sand and felt someone moving closer to where I was seated. I snapped my head to the right to see who had just arrived. Ang akala ko nung una ay sinundan ako ni Gian, ngunit nagulat ako nang isang taong hindi pamilyar ang bumungad sa aking paningin.

The man was wearing a plain white shirt, paired with merona khaki shorts. Even with his wayfarer covering his eyes and a ballcap covering his head, his appeal was overflowing. I could tell that he was good looking. His features and physical built reminded me of male foreign tourists that I thought he lost his way here from the resort.

"Uhm, hi?"

With his flawless English accent, even when he just spoke one word, I really thought he was a foreign tourist.

"Ikaw ba si Aleena Caringal?"

But as soon as he spoke Tagalog without faults, while asking for my name, I immediately disregarded what I thought about his nationality.

"Sino ka?" Instead of confirming who I was, I just asked him back.

I shouldn't let my guard down even if he was good looking. If we were both alone in the secluded part of the resort, anything could happen. I could be in danger for being in the same proximity as him. We were only roughly two meters away from each other. And he knows my name! I didn't know how, but he does!

While I was on high alert, he looked taken aback when I asked for his name. It was like he wasn't expecting that I'd ask him.

Ano'ng akala niya? Na dahil alam niyang guwapo siya ay basta-basta ko na lang ibibigay ang pangalan ko sa kanya? Paano kung may masama siyang balak sa akin?

"Uhm... I'm Ike Rolloque..." He trailed after introducing himself.

My eyes narrowed while looking at him. I wasn't buying his answer at first. Pakiramdam ko ay inimbento niya lang ang pangalan na 'yon dahil matagal bago siya nakasagot.

"Hindi ako naniniwala sa 'yo," tipid kong sabi.

"Really, really... I'm telling the truth." Though he still sounded calm, his movements became fast. He removed his ballcap and wayfarer. He quickly ruffled his hair, making it look messy but styled in a manly way.

The wind blew hard and ruffled a few strands of his hair. The sun which was about to set reflected on his eyes, looking like a golden ball of light. I should be on alert, but I lost a few seconds of my consciousness just staring at him. I had to admit that he looked even better without those accessories covering half of his face.

"I'm really Ike Rolloque," he tried to make me believe like showing his face was enough proof to prove his identity.

"Hindi kita kilala at hindi pa rin ako naniniwala sa 'yo," sabi ko sa kanya at saka tumayo. Pinagpag ko ang iilang butil ng mga buhangin na dumikit sa aking pang-upo bago ko siya muling hinarap nang maayos. "At hindi rin ako si Aleena na hinahanap mo. Pasensya na."

Without ado, I quickly walked past him while he seemed rooted on the sand, looking a bit dumbfounded. Hindi na ako gaanong nakaramdam ng takot dahil mukhang wala naman siyang balak gawin.

"Bahala siya diyan..." mahinang bulong ko sa sarili ko at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad pabalik sa restaurant ng resort.