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I walked silently in that dark alley, not wanting any kind of unwanted attention diverted to me. I could only hear my heavy footsteps and the swift wind. The rustling of leaves of the near by trees made the environment seem like a horror movie worthy scene. I tighten the coat around myself, not just to prevent me from cold but also to cover my naked soul. My torn clothes needed to be hidden in order to save me from the upcoming numerous questions and looks from the people I'll come across.

"Don't you need somebody? Baby I wanna, I wanna know. To keep you-", and I picked up my phone, which was ringing loudly making the atmosphere awkward.

"Hi, Sophie Gardly here", I said.

A dog sleeping nearby started barking at me, as the song would have disturbed his sleep. Being a little scared of him I picked up a pace in walking.

"Hey Sophie, I was just wondering if you are free tomorrow morning to catch up for awhile? Feels like I haven't met my little sissy since ages", my elder brother spoke from the other side.

And a tear rolled down my cheek, listening to his voice. I got a feeling of safety and relief washed away the fear from my heart.

Tell him what happened with you. No, you shouldn't. What will he do? Just scold you, tell you how irresponsible you were and blame you at the end? Why don't you think, he'll help you instead. You're his baby sister he cares for your and loves you.

My thoughts started haunting me.

"Soph, you there? ", he asked and before I could answer a car horned at me to get aside from it's way. Oh yeah, the alcohol! I was practically walking in a zig-zag manner.

"Are you not at home? It's almost midnight, what are doing outside right now?". Only if he'd know that I didn't actually want to be here right now. His words forced some more tears to fall on my cheeks.

"Everything alright?", he sounded worried now. I wiped off the tears with the back of my hand, sniffed my nose and said, "Hey, can you hear me now?" trying my best to sound normal.

"Actually I'm out to bring some stuff for tomorrow's breakfast. Sasha forgot to bring these", a threw a lie at him, "And yeah, here's quite a bit network problem ", I added furthermore.

"Oh, alright! You scared the shit out of me for a while. So are you free tomorrow for lunch? ", he asked.

" Of Course, I am...  Not just for the lunch but also for the dinner", I said to act cool like just the every other day.

I heard him laugh at my sentence and I  sighed. "Well then, a whole day with you sounds great to me. I should get going now, Laura is waiting for me in our bedroom. Get home soon dear. Goodnight!".

"See you tomorrow at my place then. Goodnight to you both ", and I hung up as I couldn't control my sobs anymore.

What was happening to me?! I regretted not telling him anything about today's incident. He was my only family left and was everything to me. I sat under a shady tree, not knowing what was hurting more my body or heart.

My body was wounded from those women eating beasts but my heart was bleeding cause I felt filthy, helpless and incapable of doing some self-protection. I felt an anger rising inside me for myself, cause I could have strengthen up and fought for myself, I could have saved me and my soul. Now my soul would have to live in this nasty body, the body of which I was once very proud and used to flaunt this bodily-beauty on others. That body just meant nothing now beyond some flesh with scars.

I laughed like a mad lady, receiving a stink look from a stranger passing by, on a sweet and relatable memory that crossed my mind.

"Ughh, this scars make me look so horrible " Sasha winced looking at her reflection mirror.

" You hit a car, girl... not a guy to get those cute hickeys", I said hauntingly.

"Hahaha, that was really very funny", she said fake laughing and glaring at me.

I smirked at her and looked down at my laptop to continue my work. I heard some whining noises and saw her crying.

I got up, went beside her and hugged her tightly. She needed someone to psych her up right now.

"I really look bad to go out of the house, right? People are going to laugh at me after seeing this face. I should start going to office from tomorrow but how am I supposed to go now? I don't want to go out. I look terrible. I will never-"

"Shhh Sasha, listen to me. Look here ", I said pulling back and making her stop her stupid ramblings.

"Don't you even know, that scars are the sexiest thing in the this world", I started my boosting up session.

"No, they aren't. They make you ugly", she argued.

"Just quit talking for a while and listen to me, stop thinking and hear me. Okay? ", I said.

She nodded in response.

"So there's a thing, that scars are one of the sexiest things one can have", I said tracing her scars on the cheek lightly. "Cause they show how strong you were on the battlefield to survive, how strong you were to overcome all the obstacles, how strong you were to get out of all those things and sit here peacefully. Don't be ashamed of them, be proud of them. They signify you and your fighting spirit".

A smilet appeared on her face, maybe she started trusting my words. I continued, "Tomorrow morning you are going back to work. And no, you aren't caking your face with those layers of foundations, concealers, cream bases and whatnots. Go out just the way you regularly did before. Remember the words 'Scars are Sexy'! If any bitch or jerk comes to you and question about it, just repeat the words ' Scars are Sexy ' and then if you wanna show some sass add ' Fuck off' " and I hugged her once again.

" You're right 'Scars are Sexy'  ", she squealed hugging me back tightly.

"Well, I was wrong Sasha, wrong. Scars are ugly, horrible, shitty", I shouted back to no-one coming out of the memory.

" I lied to you, you hear me... I lied to you. They are unwanted, though they can be healed. But the funniest part is the scars I have on my mind can't neither be healed nor be erased. They are the one that'll never go away even if the ones on my body will", I started giving my thoughts words.

By now I had reached the dam area. And my endless stupid rants couldn't be audible anymore due to heavy noise of the flowing waters. After walking more closer to the source of water, I myself couldn't hear my voice.

I pulled out my phone and quickly typed a message for Sasha. I read it once again and hit send.

Hey,
Scars aren't Sexy at all! See you with my new body.
(At Rodlefu Dam)
Take care!

PS: Say 'sorry' to my brother on my behalf, for lying with him today.

-Love Soph.

I felt happy right now for not knowing how to swim, back those days at school and high-school; my friends used to tease me about it. I laughed and jumped right into the dam. The phone in my pocket buzzed signalling me that I had probably received a delivery message.

I started loosing my control over my breath, water started entering my nose and mouth and my eyes started getting blurry. Then I - - -

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3/03/2016