•🖋️• taequility •🖋️•

Hey chichi! How are you? Thanks for requesting and being patient, cause college keeps a hoe busy :').

Let's go ahead with the review then, shall we?

Title: We bleed
Theme: Menstruation, Adolescence

Title: 3/5

Honestly, it does suit the entire poetry collection and I like it. But I feel it could use a little more flair. Maybe a more poetic title could work? I honestly can't think of suggestions, but probably an adverb would sound nicer. Give a little more detail.

Maybe you could call it: 'An Ode to ...'

Description: 1/5

I'm going to be a little blunt here, so please bear with me. I like the simile that you have implied between vampires and periods, but it could have been presented so much better. If phrased better, it could have made more sense at first read. I had to read it twice to make sense of it, thus not giving a very favorable impression. Maybe, you could have phrased it like this -

Vampires do exist, but they only suck the blood of women, on a monthly basis.

Their name? Periods/Menstruation (or anything else you prefer).

Remember, this is just my suggestion. Also, adding that it is a poem on periods is rather unnecessary for your genre already says poetry. An excerpt from your book would be nice, added in quotation marks. Gives you brownie points for presentation and an insight to your writing for the reader.

Cover: 2/5

The picture selected is very pretty, but I'm not very fond of its quality. The font of the title would have looked nicer if it was cursive, but it still managed to look attractive. The author name, however, isn't a very pretty aspect from it and makes me dislike the color. Try and keep it in smaller font, if possible.

Language Usage: 7/10

It's pretty good, actually! You have a good vocabulary and the verb usage is good. But (here's the catch), you lack good vocabulary usage. You use fine words, no doubt about that, but you often miss whether they are the right words to use. Your individual sentences need work too, for they sometimes lack correct structuring to make sense (which makes your poem a bit confusing to understand). There were certain chapters (like the first) where you had used very excellent grammar. But the one with the mention of teachers was very hurriedly written (or so it seems) and I had to read it thrice to make sense of it. There are a few missing punctuations that are necessary to be added to make sense to the poem, so do proof read your pieces again. Also, Whisper is a proper noun since it is the name of a company, so keep that in mind. If you were mentioning the pads in plural, you should have written it as Whisper's.
I get that you are trying to give a reference to the class whispering about the stain on the girl's back, but don't worry, people will get it.

Creativity: 8/10

You have very creative ways to write each chapter, I have to give that to you. Every piece felt so relatable, especially the one where having periods was considered a sin, which made me nearly cry, for I have grandparents who are orthodox about such things. It truly describes the pain that women feel every month - emotionally and physically. The reference to the X and Y chromosomes was absolutely brilliant and sheer genius, I have to admit.

My complaint is how you employed some of those ideas. You could have written them better, because some of them did not make sense at first read. That doesn't set a very good impression, so keep that in mind.
Also, you emphasized a bit too much on the pain women go through every month, instead of the positives.

(There are a few that I would like to mention ;) off the record, of course.)

Poetic Effects: 11/15

The poem does have lovely comparisons in some of its pieces, but seems to be lacking in this department the most, I feel. Had there been more metaphor to periods themselves instead of just the menstrual pains, I would have liked it better. You could have written it more like a poem, in my opinion. It sounded more like a speech, even if it was written in the format a poem would be written.

Delivery: 6/10

The idea is lovely, but what lacked the most in it was the delivery, which was very lacklustre towards the end. Honestly, the end of the poem had me very unsatisfied, not in the sense that I wanted more, but it had a very crude way of ending things.

Total: 38/60

Please don't feel too bad about the review, love! The idea is absolutely brilliant, and you just need to improve on the delivery and language usage, perhaps proof read once or twice and then you might spot what I am getting at.

I hope that you take this with a punch of salt, dear!

Hey, hey!

Thanks for requesting and I hope that my review helped you! Honestly, it was fun reading We Bleed and I liked knowing that you could write poetry!

Have a good day, chichi!