"De Triste..."

Hinahabol ko ang aking hininga. My blurred vision is intent on the black Cadillac Escalade infront of us. In my mind, I've already pictured out hundreds of ways to flip and crash that car to a deadly cliff and I was successful, victorious even, as I drive away leaving the Cadillac in flames.

Binibingi ako ng aking galit. Humigpit ang kamay sa steering wheel, matinding pagpipigil ang ginawa ko sa sarili na hindi bumaba ng sasakyan at sumugod. I could have done it. I could have done the worst, the one involving screams of mercy as they beg for their lives. I can almost taste murder while my heart couldn't calm the wild race as if I'm really gonna do it!

My breath hitched, seeing their back light blinked. Isang kamay ko ay sinakop agad ang gear shift nang makita ang unti-unting pag-atras ng sasakyan sa harap. I was about to pull it and go but something warm and calloused covered the back of my knuckles from the hand holding the lever.

"Don't do this, Olga. You shouldn't drive—"

Tires screeched against pebbled ground as soon as I peeled the car out of the parking lane. Marahas na pagmumura ang pinakawalan niya ngunit binalewala ko iyon.

"Just what the hell are you doing, De Triste!" He growled, and I can sense him pinning me with his perpetual brooding stare.

Aside from being too high on my violent emotions, I can't afford to argue just about any bullshit with him because first of all, no force was used when he got inside my car. Siya ang kusang sumunod sa akin at inimbitahan ang sarili niya. Also, I didn't ask him to come with me just to be chastised for my dark escapade against that motherfucker in the Cadillac!

And to talk to him will just stall my purpose. Baka hindi lang pag-uusap ang magawa namin. If I drop him here in the middle of the highway, it'll just be a waste of time unless itapon niya ang sarili niya habang tumatakbo itong sasakyan.

I increased my speed when I noticed their shift of momentum.

Ang mga walang hiya. Gusto ko itong intindihin. Of all the people who has known us, I'm the one who should understand you best especially in this situation. I thought the swift change was temporary. I thought you'd find your way back to me then we would be happy, again. But you never tried to fight for it, Claude. Noong una ay inintindi ko pa. Pero dahil hindi ka naging pursigido, pasensiyahan na lang tayo.

Pumatak ang unang butil ng luha na mabilis kong pinalis. I'm getting angrier by the minute but I have to also focus on the target. Umugong ang sasakyan nang sa muli ay binilisan ang takbo at halos ihalik ko ang nguso nito sa likod ng sinasakyan nila.

"Ate Dior..."

Namumugto ang mga mata ko. Once again, I am crying over another failed relationship. Nalaman ko na may asawa't anak na pala ang hinayupak na Emerson na iyon! I told him to meet me at this high-end restaurant. Then his 'wife' unexpectedly came to his stead, attacked me and told me to back off. Dinala pa ang anim na taong gulang na anak para panoorin kami.

Bruised and shamed, I never thought this day would come where I'd get to belittle myself. Hindi ako nakaramdamn ng ganitong hiya sa sarili noong malaman na anak ako sa labas. It didn't matter to me then since my parents' love never failed even when it was cut short by their passing. Then my half-sister took over, and I couldn't be more grateful than that.

"What did he do, Olga? I swear to god—"

"He's married..." nanghahapos kong sumbong, kontrolado ng hikbi.

Marahas na singhap ang natanggap ko. Just to hear the rapid breathing on the other line, I can already tell she's in fumes.

"The nerve of that man," nanginig ang boses niyang nagpupuyos.

Kung may isang tao man na ayaw kong galitin, si Ate Dior iyon. She may show you class, charm and grace but provoked her,  and she will raise hell and will make everyone in her way catch it.

"His full name, address and the company he's working with, Olga. Now!"

Natulala ako saglit. "A-anong gagawin mo?"

"I will re-introduce you to that son of a bitch. Sino siya para pagtaksilan ka nang ganito? If I know, he's just some dirty poor citizen who wants to extort our money! Pero hindi ka pa yata niya kilala. Well, guess what? He'll have his chance and I will make sure he'd piss in his rotten cheap pants!"

"P-Pero ate, his wife was here. May anak sila. Pinuntahan niya ako rito ate, idedemanda niya raw ako..."

"Oh, let her try."

Lalo akong naiyak nang umalingawngaw sa isip ko ang sinabi niya. Pinagbantaan ako na hindi na raw sisikatan ng araw sa oras na akitin ko muli ang asawa niya. In the first place, I didn't know! He didn't give me any reason to or was I just really plain stupid and blind to not see him through? Wala rin naman akong naalala na may suot siyang singsing. The wife then bragged about their daughter who was crying in the background as she threatened to destroy me. It was a huge scandal.

"How many?"

"What?" I blinked, confused by my sister's question.

"How many wives? Ilang asawa ang pumunta diyan at sumugod sa 'yo?"

Suminghap ako at nagpakawala ng mahapding hininga. "Isa lang. Tapos iyong anak nila."

"Where are you again?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa lalakeng staff at ningitian nang bigyan ako ng tubig. I sipped a tiny portion just enough to sooth my dry aching throat.

"Champagne Room. Here in Manila hotel," I told my sister in my cracked voice.

It all happened so fast. Sinundo ako ng kapatid ko roon, nanginginig pa habang ginigiya niya palabas at papasok sa Escalade. I couldn't meet a single eye without the memory of how that woman screamed at me and swore to ruin my life.

Takot na takot ako. She extremely looked like someone who could take down a whole battalion. Lalo naman ako, kaya niya talagang patumbahin!  was young, naive, and too foolish for love.

"Emerson Benitez and his wife, Sheril. Huh, kahit mga mukha nila ay nagsusumigaw na mumurahin. I can't believe na nagkagusto ka sa lalakeng 'to, Olga!"

Hinarap sa akin ng kapatid ko ang nakadisplay na mukha nila sa screen ng kanyang cellphone. She shook her head at me, with that obvious disgusted look in her beautiful face, disappointed at my choices.

"You're my sister, I thought we'd atleast share the same taste of men!"

Sumalamin ang disgusto niya sa mukha ko nang sinulyapan lang ang picture ni Emerson. Why didn't I realize this before?

"He kinda looks like kuya Max, though."

"Except that my daahhrling is classier, hotter, loyal and way more loaded than this asshole," eksaherada niyang bulalas at maarteng inikot ang mga mata. "I have warned you so many times. Tignan ang kamay. Kung may singsing, atras. Kung wala, imbestigahan mo. That's what I did to the great Maximillian Roxas. And look at us now. It takes a great ruler of a woman to find the right man. Hindi iyong magpapabulag ka. Nabihag ka ba sa ngiti?"

I pouted. "He's kind."

Her lips twisted. Nanunuya ang tingin sa harap habang ginagalaw ang ulo. "Of course he is kind. All of them are. It's one of the basic asshole strategy. The use of kindness as a meat to lure the fishes for their hunt. But you are no fish, Olga. Fishes don't rule!"

Used to my sister's way of words, tumango na lamang ako kahit na minsan ay walang maintindihan. But now that I am on my nth heartbreak, her words are starting to make sense to me. This, and more of her advices are beginning to be more relatable. And as the car eases out of the traffic in the highway, I have sworn to myself that I will never be get fooled again. By any man. Makikinig na rin ako sa kapatid ko.

It did not take me that long to move on. Sanay na ba o sadyang hindi lang talaga ganoon kalalim ang nararamdaman ko sa panahong iyon. On that same week, I found out that Emerson was ousted from his dream job in a developing real-estate company with an aim of still making it big in the metro. I had helped him get into that position. To be fair, I also helped in having him booted out from that same position. So much for paying the price!

I just looked for a loophole on his records and used it against him. Kung noon pa ito, palalagpasin ko pa. But I have a motive now so I used it on my advantage.

Nanlaban siya nang hagipin ng mga tauhan sa loob ng kompanya. Habang ako ay nag-aabang na sa pinto para salubungin ang pag-alis niya. With my arms crossed against my chest, I watched him getting dragged by my sister's men. Huminto siya sa harap ko at may tapang na tinagpo ang patalim sa aking mga mata, nagmamakaawa. He uses that look every single time he wants something from me. That look doesn't work on me now.

"Hurry up. His wife is waiting," my sister beside me, drawled as he ordered the guards. She made some artsy hand gestures to emphasize.

I was the first one to look away and lifted my chin higher, imposing power, while they dragged him out of my sight. Hinagip ni Ate ang kamay ko para makaalis na roon, at bago pa man din magbago ang isip ko.

I spent the rest of those days working on myself. Hindi ko naman kasi ipinagkakaila na mabilis talaga akong maloko, at matukso noon pa man. I kinda admit that it is mostly on me since I allow them to when I can just simply say no.

I wondered where I got it. Nag-iisa lamang ako kaya wala ring ibang kapatid na mapagkukumparahan sa sarili. Maybe I got it from my Mom since nagpauto rin siya kay Dad noon, not knowing that he was married to Diorabelle Roxas's mother at that time, Camila Arevalo. It became one of the most unforgettable scandals in Philippine showbiz history since the aforementioned woman is a teenage sensation turned award-winning actress and eventually, a philantropist. Until this business magnate, Antonio playboy De Triste, swept her heart.

Habang 'di hamak na simpleng emplayado lamang si Mama sa parehong TV station na kinabibilangan noon ni Tita Camila.

After Emerson, I swore off boyfriends for a good two years. It was fine. Hindi ako sanay dahil simula sixth grade ay naliligawan na ako pero third year highschool nang pinayagan ang sarili sa relasyon. Since then, there's no year that I was never available. Pinakamatagal ay isang taon, karamihan ay hanggang buwan lang. But I swear, with all of those relationships no matter how long and short they last, I never cheated. In fact, it was always the other way around!

"Let's hunt some fresh meat for you."

Mula sa mesa ay napaangat ang tingin ko kay Ate Dior. Aside from the black evening gloves she's wearing and that wide brimmed floppy hat despite of just being inside her husband's office, I was also trying to digest her meat metaphors in utmost confusion. Akala ko ay masasanay na ako sa mga talasalitaan niya, hindi pa rin pala.

"I'm trying to be vegan, ate," I joked.

Her pink-tainted lips stretches wide across her heart-shaped face. Umahon siya sa president's chair at umikot mula sa likod ng naghihiwalay sa aming mesa. I followed her sleek and graceful movements as she sauntered towards the center of the office.

"Mama got invited to a charity ball event. But she's already promised to attend to a prior committment so she asked us if we... could go in her stead."

"Us? Or... you mean you and kuya Max."

"Us!" Pabalik-balik niyang turo sa akin at sa sarili niya. "Darling Max can't go. He's still in Shanghai probably eating noodles with his investors."

Pinigilan kong matawa at pinagpatuloy ang pagtitipa ng email para sa boss ko. Well, it's possible. Maghahapunan na rin naman siguro sa China.

Diorabelle, who I can tell is on the verge of her tantrums, dramatically moaned because I am currently ignoring her antics.

"I am not getting any younger, Olga. I also need to go out and have some fun!" madrama niyang sabi.

"It's a formal event. Where's the fun in formal? Isa pa, you have to tell kuya Max about this. If not, he'd always have his ways to know. Baka magtampo iyon."

"Oh, hold my Swarovskis, darling!" She turned around in exaggeration causing for the bottom of the long black dress to billow around her.

Napapayag nga ako nitong samahan siya sa event. It took a lot of sweet coaxing before I finally gave in. Bukod doon, siya pa ang namili sa isusuot ko kahit na may nauna akong pinakita sa kanya, same dress she also bought for me on my birthday last year.

The longer she tries to dress me up, the better I understand what she meant by a while ago's... a fresh meat to hunt.

"He's just passed the bar exam. Go, talk to him!" palihim niya akong siniko sa tagiliran.

I gave her a lazy side eye. Pinandilatan niya ako at ninguso ang lalakeng tinutukoy niya. Kung hindi lang siya binati ng isa sa mga kaibigan ay malamang naitulak na ako nito.

"Or do you want that one?" She went back to me after exchanging smiles with a fellow socialite. "Puwede rin. Guwapo, matangkad. Mestizo. But what throws me off..." She paused, then her face twisted when she whispered to me. "He looks gay."

Napapailing ako at hinayaan siya sa mga nirereto niya sa akin. If I get it tonight, then good. But I'm not really feeling it. Mas iniisip ko pa nga ang reply ng boss ko tungkol sa email ko sa kanya kanina. Those were the files for my next write up and I am in dire need of her suggestions.

Ate Dior was unsuccessful in hunting a fresh meat for me dahil kahit isa, wala akong natipuhan. She got stressed by my lack of enthusiasm in hunting in which made her turn to her kind of glamorous diversion.

"Hmm, this is the best. France could never! Here, take a bite on it, Olga."

At medyo lasing na rin yata siya. Kanina pa ako hinihila ni ate sa bawat table na dinadaanan namin, inaalok ng mga tinitikman niyang desserts kung hindi man inumin. I have to struggle lifting the skirt part of my dress since what she made me wear could almost pass as a ball gown! Habang mga hapit sa katawan ang suot ng karamihan sa mga babaeng nakikita ko. It felt like this is my debut party all over again!

"I have to tell Max to hire the best chef in the country and make these blondies. Hmm, and the matcha cakes!" She minimized her overly gestures when an important person passed by us. Huminhin siya bigla at tinakpan ang bibig nang nasa pang sampung piraso na yata ng panghimagas.

I threw her a weird look. "You're always eating. Naglilihi ka ba?"

She didn't stop picking up more dessert slices. "Are you insulting me? Alam mo namang baog ang asawa ko, 'di ba?" Bulong niya sa huli at pagkatapos lamunin ang huling cake ay hinila ulit ako. "Come here, let's meet some more guests."

I'm not new to the business. Bata pa lamang ay sinanay na ako ni Ate Dior sa pakikipaghalubilo. Genes has most likely played a significant role since my parents' ordinary were being surrounded by people, and they're expected to act accordingly with the etiquette. Isa lang minsan ang ikinabahala ko at iyon ay kung ang iba sa kanila, hindi ko kilala. There were times when I don't know how I should act around the people I just met.

"Have you heard of this rumor about our Nikolina? She was personally handpicked to join an international pageant but what a shame, she declined that one time offer," dinig kong sabi ng isang ginang sa malapit.

"Nako, palagi naman niyang tinatanggihan ang mga ganyang alok. It even beats me because... come on, look at that face! And she has that attitude and the wit!"

"Speaking of, balita ko ay pupunta sila dito ngayon. How true is that? I mean, amidst of their busy schedules?"

"Kahit isa man lang siguro sa kanila ay dadalo. Could be her brother or Yvonne Guadarrama. They never missed events like this so for sure, a representative might show up on their behalf."

"O baka nga nandito na. We might not know it because as what you've said, he or she could be just a representative. Could be the lesser known member of the family."

I'm sipping on my wine and frankly speaking, I'm getting bored. To entertain myself at the least, I listened to this group of women, probably my sister's age, gossip about this famous family. Pero kanina pa ito, saan man ko man ibaling ang aking ulo ay naririnig ko hindi isa, kung 'di pati pangalan ng ibang miyembro ng kanilang pamilya. They are the most talked about name even when a shadow of them has yet to show up.

Natuon ang atensyon ko sa pagmamadali ng isa sa mga emceee na malapitan ang host nitong event. A politician and entrepeneur who is known to also have a tight bond with the said family and the Verduzcos, another household name in the corporate world. May ibinulong ito, tumango ang ginoo, at hindi nagtagal ay unti unti nang kumalat ang binubulong na mensahe.

Mahina pa noong una, habang tumatagal ay palakas nang palakas , papalapit hanggang sa nasa tabi ko na ang nagsasalita.

"The Guadarramas are here."

And the news was spread on the other side of the crowd.

Natunghayan ko ang tila pagkakatigil ng buong paligid. Bawat pares ng mga mata ay nakatuon sa hamba. And there, like the gods and goddesses of Olympus have just descended, is the elite family everyone has been talking about. Everywhere I go, every corner I hide, their last name slips in every living person's tongue.

"Oh Mon Dieu! Look at Nikolina's dress!" Namamanghang bulong ni Ate Dior sa tabi ko. She smells like four bottles of champagne now.

I surveyed each one of them. At least seven members arrived tonight and I can see some familiar faces, one is that prosecutor who I've met through Kuya Max's connections.

"Sino iyong isa?"

Huminto ang tingin ko sa isang lalake roon. Wearing a crisped tuxedo that compliemnts the length of his tall and lean body. He is not familiar but the more I let my gaze lingered on him, the more sensual the things I get to associate him with.

He's the center in the eyes of the women surrounding him, holding a glass with amber liquid in it. At dahil doon nakatuon ang tingin ko ay madali itong nahalata ni Ate Dior.

"Ah, don't get fooled by the looks of an evil! They always are disguised as if they could save every piece from a broken heart."

"Huh?" I turned to her with a weird look. Because there she goes again.

Nanatili ang tingin ng kapatid ko sa tinutukoy niyang tao sa kanyang tula. Ibinalik ko rin ang tingin ko roon.

"Chaucer Alphonzo Guadarrama."

And as if he heard his name, he darted his piercing eyes here. Tumalon ang preso sa dibdib ko nang magbunggo ang mga mata naim. It felt like he just stabbed me, straight to the chest, with those eyes. I remained calm despite my self debate either to look away, o magpapahalata ba akong nakatitig?

"Men wanted to have his genes. While women wanted to have what is inside his jeans." My sister chuckled darkly.

That Chaucer guy, his lips, slowly lifted for a knowing smirk, like he is just in front of us listening to my sister's thirsty comments about him. Sinubukan kong iikot ang tingin sa paligid, inaalam kung may iba pa ba siyang pinaparatingan ng tingin dahil imposibleng naririnig niya kami rito!

When I looked back at him, it's like he was waiting for that moment before dipping his chin low at the same time when he brought the mouth of the glass on his lips and kissed the drink, all the while his sinful eyes remained on me.

Nanindig ang balahibo ko. As if he could sense my shivers, his lips curled.

Since he is already facing my direction, I will make a good use of this opportunity to lay out my observation of this man.

Aside from his tall height and evidently hard-muscled body, he is an image of a man oozing with extreme and obvious virility. His manly gestures are the ones of a gentleman, smooth and sleek, but precised and potent. I can easily outline the shadow of his dark stubble on his chin that is running thin on each side of his sharp jaw, enough to cut a soul. His hair, clean cut on both sides but thick and a formal mess on top, highlights the prominence of his cheekbones. By this whole look alone, I can already tell the sound of his voice and even the tone of breathing he makes.

Binabalingan ko naman ang ibang miyembro ng pamilya nila, pero sadyang bumabalik talaga sa kanya. I haven't seen him before, this must be why. I am familiar with the rest of the Guadarrama's but never on this one.

"Mhmm... Careful on where your eyes are leading you," my sister mused again. "Always look up north. It sells and saves. Down south? Hmm... even better. But you see? It's always a danger."

She is legit drunk. Kapag umulit pa siya ay talagang hahatakin ko na 'to pauwi.

Chaucer Guadarrma never left his eyes off me. He took another light sip on his amber liquid then subtly raised his glass to acknowledge me. A ghost of a smirk haunted on his lips when I raised my Rosé back. Tipid akong ngumiti.

"Hi."

I jumped at the sudden presence of a man behind me. Unti-unting numunipis ang init na naramdaman ko mula sa tagpong iyon. But meeting this other man isn't bad. Sa katunayan ay mas nagagaanan ako sa presensiya niya.

"I will leave you two," anunsiyo ni Ate.

I looked at her as if she betrayed me. Idiniin ko na sa titig ko na huwag akong iwan! But she only winked at me, then left!

"I'm Claude Marquez."

Binalikan ko ang lalake at sinuri. And oh, he's quite tall, too. Kailangan ko rin siyang tingalain para matitigan nang mabuti. I quietly told myself to remember this night I first met him as I was easily got mesmerized by his soulful eyes and gentle smile.

Ngumiti ako at malugod na tinanggap ang kamay niya. Warm and soft, I smiled again and reminded myself to thank my sister later.

But with what you 're feeling towards him, Olga, how can you explain the subtle flirtation with that other man back there?

Hindi ko alam. Basta ang nasisigurado ko, magaan ang loob ko sa kanya. With Chaucer Guadarrama, his aura just kind of reminds me of Emerson, and we all know what I had to go through just by being involved with that man. I don't want to reunite with that same mistake again. Never.

"For fucks's sake, De Triste. Stop tha car. Now!"

Imbes na sundin siya, ang sasakyan sa harap pa rin ang sinusundan ko. As soon as I saw it parked outside a cozy restaurant, I drifted to the other lane so there won't be any chance of either of them to notice and recognize me. I waited for them to get out of the carand get inside the premises before I parked my Buick Regal right behind them.

I didn't even park properly. Ang importante sa akin ay natunton ko sila at hindi naiwala sa paningin ko. Dito pala kayo naglalagi, huh? I am breathing harder right now. All quipped and ready to unleash fire.

"Are you calm now?" he asked softly, but still with the edge of his firm baritone.

"No."

"Who's in there? Why is it like you're about to murder someone, Olga?"

Bumilis pa ang paghinga ko habang nakikita ko sila mula sa loob. Claude puts his hand on her waist as a staff guides them to their table. Then he pulls a chair, before kissing her on the cheek. Nanguyom ang kamao ko.

"My fiancee." I clicked the door opened and climbed out to march inside, ready to set their faces on fire.