As we were on our way to Harvey's apartment, I fiddled with my fingers nervously and my breathing shook. The memory of Dylan waving and smiling at me sinisterly had been burnt into my brain and I was struggling to keep myself from burning more.

 Myself and Harvey sat beside each other in silence. I could feel his soft gaze on me and I just wanted to feel his fingers on mine. But, I was a coward.

I couldn't find a way to tell him that I wanted this to happen, but I was scared. Scared on my past and the future that will hold us, my weaknesses served on a big platter for him to see. There were things that I had told Dylan when I had trusted him, but, I learnt never to trust men with secrets - even if they seemed kind. 

Once the car stopped, I seemed to have dazed out. I suddenly gasp at the opening of the car door, and rather the driver standing in front of me - it was Harvey, his hand held out for me to hold. Reaching for it, he pulls me up towards him, and the world seems to stand still. 

I look into his dark brown eyes and his other hand pressed lightly against my back. There was so much I could say or do at this moment, but I didn't have the courage. Not yet.

Quickly, I pull away from him, and make my way into his apartment building. He seemed to be understand this distance I placed between us for the time being.

Harvey unlocked his door and we enter, myself kicking off my heels and dumping myself onto his sofa. Harvey, on the other hand, walked to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of wine, Chateau Margaux Balthazar 2009 to be precise, and pours us both a glass.

I watch the rich red liquid fall into the wine glass and licked my lips in anticipation. I needed some wine in me to think straight and Harvey had the right idea.

He seats himself opposite me and sips on the one. The cool glass presses onto my lower lip and I rush to empty its contents. Of course, Harvey stared at me in shock but then, he broke the silence.

"We need to talk more about Dylan. Your marriage, what information he can hold over you..." I pour out another glass, Harvey watching. "Are you... ready for that?" Nodding, I take a deep breath.

"Dylan knew a lot about me, Harvey. I mean, I married the man. I can't believe i'm in this fucking situation." I swallow my next sip of wine down hard, Harvey leaning forward.

"Look... take your time..." I raise my eyes to Harvey's.

"He was the love of my life. We talked about a lot of things..." Through the night, I spoke and Harvey listened to what I had to say. He didn't ask me any questions, he never interrupted.

He just, listened.

His never took his eyes off me and as the conversation moved on, he decided to take his place next to me - wine still in hand.

After I finished, the room went quiet again and I let out a nervous chuckle. "I know that it's a lot but-"

"-no... a lot's a good thing." He smiles. 

I took a large gulp of the wine, placing the glass onto the table. Then, I turn myself to face him.

"Harvey... what happened in the office... the... kiss." He put his own glass onto the table and sighed.

"I... It was... good." Harvey was hesitant in his answer, but not in a bad way. It was in a way that he somehow cared. And Harvey Specter never truly cared or let anyone in. But, it seemed I was being shown a different side to him. A side that I was growing to like. Although, he couldn't seem to say anything else.

"I can't do this... not now..." I take a harsh inhale and my eyes fill with tears. "I'm too broken Harvey... and, I don't... I don't think you can handle me." Harvey inches closer to me. "I'm not one to just back away from something so good to me... but I... I can't..." I had to say it. "I can't lose you!" He gently pulls my head to his chest as I sob.

His hands brush my hair and I clutch onto him as if it could be the last time. 

Because I didn't know what was coming. All of my secrets were going to be thrusted into the world and they were free to judge. It was going to be one hell of a ride.

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