05

Sohyun.

She's back.

"Oh, Sohyun-ah!" Taeyong-hyung cheerfully greeted her. "It's been years, you came back!" He hugged her.

Sohyun hugged him back, "My contract in that group expired. I thought about going back, and finally.. here I am!" She said.

"Oh, Sohyun-ah, you already know about our new members, right?" Johnny-hyung asked.

She nodded, "Of course! Who wouldn't?"

And suddenly their eyes were on me.

"What?" I asked, face blank.

I don't want them to know that I'm still affected by everything. I really am.

It's been years, but I don't know what the hell am I feeling.

"You two... talk." Doyoung said, ushering the others to leave us for a while.

I acted like I was about to follow them, but Jaemin stopped me by holding my shoulder.

"Hyung." He started. "Talk." He said and patted my shoulder.

He followed the others and I guess I have no choice.

"Mark..." she started.

I didn't move.

"Why am I not surprise that it was you who texted me?" I asked, with a slight annoyance.

She was taken aback. "I-I'm—"

"Sorry?" I started.

I shook my head, "What, you're sorry? Because you left me?" I said, walking towards her.

I was shaking in anger, I didn't even noticed that she was also shaking in fear. "You left me... you didn't even bothered to tell me that you were leaving... Sohyun-ah, how did you think I would feel?"

I sat on the couch, eyes brimming with tears. "Hell, we didn't even have a proper break up. You could have told me that you wanted to break up instead of leaving just like that."

"Mark... p-please... I'm sorry... I had no choice..." She said, sitting beside me.

I looked at her, "No choice?! S-Sohyun-ah, you always have a choice! And y-you chose to leave me... j-just like that.... you chose to break my heart!"

"Mark please... do you think I d-didn't regret what I did? During idol school... d-do you think that I did not regret leaving you?!" She said. She was crying, but I could understand what she was saying clearly. "M-Mark... all those years... a day would not pass without thinking of you! All those years... it was a-all about you..."

"Mark, I wanted to make you proud... that's why I wanted to join idol school."

"Make me proud?! Sohyun-ah, you know it yourself that I'm proud if you no matter what!" I said.

My heart was beating so fast.

I wiped my tears away and I noticed that she was crying. I have no idea if I still have the right to wipe her tears.

I turned to look at her, "Don't cry." I said.

She looked up and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry..." She chuckled bitterly. "I don't deserve Mark Lee's tears..."

She rushed outside.

I stayed and buried my face on my knees.

I felt someone patted my back.

"Mark-hyung, it's gonna be alright..." Haechan said.

"It will never be." I said, trying to look at him.

****

I was right.

She'll debut under a group. Again.

She was talking to Jaemin, her closest friend during rookie days. Through Jaemin, we got to be together. But that was before.

My eyes traveled around and I saw my sister looking at the two.

Crap, she doesn't know about me and Sohyun!

Oh boy, why do I feel like a war is gonna happen?

****

"Mark, are you okay?" Doyoung-hyung sat beside me.

I nodded.

"You aren't surprised by earlier, right?" He asked.

"Hyung, I would be lying if I say that I was not surprised." I started.

I could feel that he was listening intently.

"What happened earlier?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I don't even know, hyung." I said, standing up.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To dream's dorm, hyung." I said. "I'll stay there for the night."

Hyung nodded. "Arasseo. I think Haechan will also stay there."

I nodded.

****

They were playing one of Jisung's video games when I opened the door.

Jaemin was eating popcorn while watching Jisung and Renjun play.

All suddenly burst out laughing when Renjun's character died.

"As expected, Renjun-hyung!" Chenle laughed.

"Mark-hyung, join us!" Haechan said.

I laughed, "Later."

"Alright, suit yourself." Jeno shrugged.

"Have you seen Haejin?" I asked.

As if on cue, Haejin entered the dorm with red and puffy eyes. It looked like she just stopped crying.

"Haejin-ah, did you cry?" Jaemin asked immediately.

Haejin just glared at him.

Why do I feel like I already know what happened?

"What's with that face?" Jaemin asked.

Haejin just walked past him.

"Haejin-ah!" Jaemin called.

I looked down. It was partly my fault because I didn't tell her.

"Hyung what was that?" He asked me.

I shrugged even if I know the answer. "Why don't you talk to her?"

Jaemin rushed towards her room and I sat beside Jeno.

"What happened to Haejin?" Renjun asked.

I sighed, "She saw Jaemin being close to Sohyun earlier."

"Oh boy... that's not good." Jisung shook his head.

"What are we gonna do?" Renjun asked.

I shrugged. I really have no idea.

"What if we just pretend that we hate Sohyun even if we're really close to her?" Haechan said, then he suddenly looked at me. "Except for you, hyung." He made a peace sign.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."