-What if everything happened differently when Chay went drinking with his friends after Kim broke his heart?-

Chay was out drinking with his friends. He'd never really drank before, but granted the events of the past few days, he had to. He'd just found out his brother, who he thought was away on a private island managing a bar for his friend, had actually been working for the biggest mafia family in Thailand this whole time. In other words, his brother had lied to him. As if that wasn't bad enough, he found out that his idol WIK -Kim - the man he loved, is the youngest son of said mafia family. And he had also lied to him. It was all too much for Chay. He needed a way to forget.

Things had been going well between him and Kim. Until they weren't. Chay had thought that everything Kim had done for him until now, all the kindness and care he'd shown him, meant that Kim loved him, or at least liked him.

But he didn't. It turns out, he had been using Chay all along for his own selfish reasons. That discovery hurt Chay. That Kim didn't like him, he was only using him. But what hurt even more was that Kim didn't even care to explain why he did what he did. He just...walked away. Like it had all meant nothing. And that broke Chay's heart. Much more than anything ever had.

So here he was, doing things he'd never done before; different hair, different dressing style, drinking; all because he wanted - no, needed - to forget. His friends were surprised at the sudden change to say the least, but they understood. He just hoped they wouldn't ask.

•♡•✯•♡•✯•♡•✯•♡•

"I heard you got your heart broken, Chay," one of his friends asked. "Who was it?"

Oh no.

That was exactly what he didn't want them to ask. He didn't want to think about Kim now, much less talk about him. Besides, who was he supposed to tell them hurt him? Superstar musician Wik? Or Kimhan Theerapanyakul, youngest son of the Theerapanyakul family, the biggest mafia family in the country?

No he wasn't telling them that. It wasn't their business anyway.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said instead.

"Okay, okay, it doesn't matter," another one of his friends said. "Let's just get wasted for Chay today." He handed Chay a glass.

Chay lifted the glass to his lips and nearly threw up when the smell hit his nostrils. He didn't even know what drink was in that glass, but whatever it was, it smelled awful. He scrunched his nose. How on earth did people drink this stuff?

His friends were looking at him eagerly, waiting for him to drink for the first time ever, so he held his breath and forced himself to take a sip. The drink burned a trail down his throat when he swallowed and left a horrible taste in his mouth. Once again, he wondered how anyone could stand drinking these things.

"It's bitter," Chay said finally. His friends just laughed and encouraged him to drink more, he'd get used to it. So he did. He downed glass after glass of whatever drinks were given to him. He didn't know if it was peer pressure or his desperate need to forget Kim that made him keep drinking, but he did.

A couple of drinks later, Chay and his friends were completely wasted. Chay not so much as they were, but he was still a little drunk nonetheless. He needed to get home, he'd been out for way too long. He would be in big trouble if Porsche found out where he had been and what he had been doing.

As he stood up to leave, the dizziness hit him so fast it nearly knocked him back onto the seat. He stood still for a few seconds to steady himself.

"Are you going home already?" one of his friends asked, and pulled him back down onto the seat.

Chay nodded, but almost immediately regretted it with the way his head pounded at the motion. "I need to get home before my brother starts asking questions."

"Stay a little longer," his friend pleaded, "I've got something for you." He took out a bag containing pills from his pocket and popped one in his mouth, offering another one to Chay.

Were those drugs? Should he try them? Chay didn't know what would happen to him if he did. Porsche had warned him before not to drink or take drugs, but he'd already drunk and he felt fine. Mostly. He was a little dizzy and his head ached, but that was just about it. It wouldn't be so bad if he took those drugs then, right? Just this once.

Chay opened his mouth to receive the pill his friend was giving him, but his friend's hand was violently pushed away from him before he could take it. He looked up to see who had done it, only for his eyes to land on the last person he expected to see. Kim.

Kimhan Theerapanyakul was here.

Chay wanted to be angry that Kim had shown up there. He really did. But when he saw how Kim's chest heaved in anger, his eyes red with fury, looking like he would kill someone the very next second, he was everything but angry. He was turned on.

Fuck. Chay wasn't supposed to feel this way about Kim. Not after everything that had happened between them. But seeing Kim fighting off his friends like that, knowing Kim was like that because of him - that he had caused that reaction from Kim - did things to him.

"Don't. Even. Think about it!" Kim's voice was a dangerous low growl in his throat, a warning to Chay's friend who was about to hit him, that if he tried, it wouldn't end well for him. He backed off and sat quietly.

Holy shit. Chay felt shivers run down his spine, heat pooling in his abdomen. His heart started to race and he breathed heavily, clutching the seat tightly. That was hot. He had never seen Kim this mad, but he would be lying if he said he didn't like it. Especially because he was the reason Kim was this worked up.

Chay pushed whatever dirty thoughts he was having about Kim to the back of his mind when Kim grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room. When they got outside, he composed himself and pulled his hand out of Kim's. He was still supposed to be mad at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in the angriest voice he could muster though he wasn't sure he was very successful on that front.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kim glared at him. He was mad at Chay.

Now Chay got angry too. Kim wasn't supposed to be mad at him. He had no right to be angry after what he'd done. He was the reason Chay was here anyway.

"What I do is none of your business," Chay glared back at Kim. "I've never meddled in your affairs, so keep your nose out of mine."

For a moment, Kim was stunned. He hadn't expected Chay to react like that. Sure, he didn't know what he expected would happen, but it sure as hell wasn't this. By telling him he had no right to interfere in his matters, Chay was basically kicking Kim out of his life.

Kim wasn't sure what exactly brought him here. Keeping Chay from making such terrible mistakes as he was about to wasn't the only reason. There was something else. Maybe he had hoped that he would reconcile with Chay somehow. That he would find a way to convince Chay to come back to him. Maybe he had hoped that Chay still loved him, even just a little bit, and he hadn't completely fucked up his chances with him by pushing him away the way he did.

But as things stood now, maybe he was too late. Chay didn't seem to want anything to do with him, and he wasn't going to push it. Not wanting to seem defeated, Kim collected himself and in the coldest voice he could, he said, "From now on, you're responsible for your own damn decisions." Then with a heavy heart, he turned his back on Chay once more.

"You're doing it again."

Chay's voice came to Kim quietly, like he was speaking to himself, tired of everything. It stopped him in his tracks.

What?

"You keep walking away from me." Chay let out a frustrated sigh. "Every time I fight you, you walk away. It's tiring, Kimhan."

Kim turned around and looked at Chay. "What else do you want me to do, Chay?" There was pain in his eyes, like he knew exactly what Chay wanted from him, but he was unable to give it to him no matter how much he wanted to.

"I want you to stay with me," Chay answered. "Fight with me if you must, but stay with me. Is it so hard to do that?"

Kim closed his eyes and raked a hand through his hair, throwing his head back as he sighed deeply. "Yes, Porchay."

"Why? Why is it so hard for you to be with me?"

"I live in a dangerous world, Chay. I don't want you to be a part of it," Kim sighed, opening his eyes. "I don't want you to get hurt. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to you because of me."

"You thought you were protecting me," Chay said, finally understanding why Kim behaved the way he did. Kim nodded.

But even though Chay understood where Kim was coming from, he didn't think that was enough of a reason to leave him like that. Especially since leaving him did not mean protecting him.

"But you aren't."

"What?" Kim asked, confusion written all over his face.

"I know you think you're keeping me away from your world by pushing me away from you, but newsflash, Kimhan: I became a part of your world the day my brother became your family's bodyguard. And I'll remain a part of it for as long as my brother is involved with your family," Chay explained as calmly as he could.

"No way," Kim shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "You can't be a part of it. It's not-you're not safe, not with me or anyone else." He unconsciously started walking backwards away from Chay, as if creating a physical distance between them would keep him away from his world.

"Did you hear what I just said, Kimhan?" Chay practically screamed, making Kim stop suddenly. His eyes were still closed. "For heaven's sake, Kim, pushing me away only hurts me, it won't do me any good. I'll always be in danger as long as my brother is involved with your family. It makes no difference whether I'm with you or not. Do you understand?"

There was silence for a while as Chay's words sunk in.

"I-I hadn't thought of it that way," Kim said, opening his eyes and looking up at Chay. "My only thought at the time was that I needed to keep you safe and keeping you away from me was the only way, even if it hurt us both."

There was a sincerity in his eyes, a genuineness in his words that made Chay believe that even after all Kim had done, he really did think he was doing it for Chay. And it made his heart swell. Kim cared for him, even if he never said it. He just had his own way of showing it.

"I'm really sorry, Chay," Kim said, leaning against the wall, his head thrown back against it as his eyes were cast on the ceiling. "I never meant to hurt you by what I did. I only wanted to protect you. After you got kidnapped-"

"You do realize that you weren't the reason I was kidnapped, right?" Chay asked, stepping closer to Kim with every word. "My brother was the reason I was kidnapped. Not you. It was never you."

"Even then, I could have stopped them from taking you," Kim buried his face in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks. "I didn't protect you enough. I should have tried harder. I-"

"Stop blaming yourself for it, Kim," Chay was right in front of Kim now. "From what I heard, you did everything you could. And you're the one who rescued me from them. That's pretty amazing. And it's enough for me."

"It is?" Kim slowly lifted his face from his hands.

"Yeah," Chay took Kim's hands in his after wiping his tears away. "I'll only ever be safe with you, Kim. So I need you to stay with me. Protect me when you're close to me. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm sorry, Chay," Kim pulled Chay into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "I promise I'll never let you go again."

"You're the best boyfriend ever," Chay said, nuzzling his head into Kim's neck. "Did I ever tell you that?"

"Boyfriend?" Kim pulled away from Chay far enough to look at him quizzically, not believing he had been granted that honor. Yet his heart almost burst with happiness in his chest.

"You don't want to be my boyfriend?" Chay answered his question with one of his own.

"You have no fucking idea how much I've wanted this," Kim sighed, resting his forehead on Chay's.

"Show me then," Chay smiled and Kim crashed his lips softly on Chay's. Chay's lips were soft and tasted like strawberries, now Kim's new favourite taste. As he melted into the kiss, Kim felt all the fear and guilt he had leave him, replaced by a warmth so gentle and comforting. He felt at peace with Chay in his arms and he wouldn't trade this for anything else.

"I love you, angel," Kim said breathlessly, breaking the kiss. "I know I should have told you this earlier instead of pushing you away and I'm sorry but I was just really really scared and I didn't know what to do and-"

"Kim," Chay chuckled softly. "It's okay."

Kim sighed. "I just really love you, angel."

"I know," Chay nuzzled his nose against Kim's. "And I love you too."

"Which is why you're not allowed to leave me again," he added after a moment, glaring at Kim. "If you ever dare to do that again, I promise I'll hunt you down and kill you myself."

"Please," Kim replied, laughing. "I'll even help you do it." He slid his arm around Chay's waist and pulled him closer to him. "But I've learned my lesson. Never again."

Chay laughed and his laughter was the best sound Kim had ever heard. He wanted to trap it in a bottle and store it forever. He decided he'd do everything to make Chay happy if it meant he'd keep laughing like that.

"That means you're mine now," Chay said, intertwining his fingers with Kim's, one arm around his neck.

"Yours," Kim whispered, his lips brushing over Chay's. "Always have been and always will be."

He crashed his lips on Chay's one more time.

•♡•♡•♡•♡•