The Taj, June 2025 (Past Flashback 16)

Mahati waited till she had found her room before letting herself sit down (or fall down) on the bed.

At first she tried counting up to one thousand. When she would be done, she'd know she'd just been trapped inside a bad dream where Rakesh had just told her he didn't want to marry her anymore.

She went up to 47 before she realized that it was not a bad dream, it was real.

Three hours before they'd been due to take their vows, her fiance had decided he wasn't sure he wanted to marry her anymore.

The initial shock and disbelief gave way for a more placid sense of dread-dread for the future. How was she going to tell her parents? What would happen to the guests? She wasn't all that bothered on the money; it had been pretty low-budgeted, and with her high position in the software industry and Rakesh's journalism, it had not affected their savings much.

Not their savings. His savings and her savings. Disjoint set. 

She needed to stop thinking of them as a whole now.

Was Rakesh mad? Was she mad to consider him mad?

No, it could not be her who was mad. People weren't supposed to bail out on their wedding days.

But Mahati did not hold it against him. Sure, he could have realized a few months before the wedding probably, that he didn't want marriage. But she would like to think that was because he had tried till the last possible moment to make it work.

Not loving her or not wanting to marry her did not make him evil, and he would never in any way hurt her. He had clearly regretted the entire thing, and he hadn't cracked a single joke over the encounter, which meant he must have been horribly upset too.

No, Mahati would not hold it against her best friend, no matter how much everything hurt at the moment.

***

"Mahati?"

A tentative and familiar voice at the door made her blink and look up. She'd been staring out of the window so long bright spots had started dancing in front of her eyes.

"Hey, Rutu," she mumbled, wondering how long it had been since she had called him 'Rutu', wondering how long it had been since she had spoken to him like a friend.

"Are you okay?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

Rutu walked over to sit on the couch across from her.

"So Rakesh informed everyone?" said Mahati, avoiding Rutu's eyes and choosing to continue staring at the window. "Didn't think he'd act this fast."

"No, he hasn't told everyone yet, just me," said Rutu. His voice was extremely perturbed when he added, "You're not okay, are you?"

"I just..." said Mahati. "It's not a big deal. I just need to figure out how to tell my parents."

"Do you want me to tell them?" asked Rutu.

Mahati looked around and saw that his expression was earnest. She realized he was not just offering for the sake of it, that he would really go and talk to her parents to save her the awkwardness.

"I think it should be me," she said finally.

"Yeah...probably," said Rutu. "But this isn't the time for shoulds."

"I wonder what this time is for," said Mahati, her voice suddenly catching in her throat. "It's like everything's been spoilt, nothing will ever be right again..." In spite of her best efforts, she succumbed to tears. "...and it's...so stupid to...cry over something like this..."

"It would be stupid to try not to cry," said Rutu, laying an extremely gentle hand on her arm. "Everything will be right again before you realize." 

Since it was impossible to stop crying now, Mahati stopped trying to stop, and at the same time ached to hold on to Rutu, because she needed an anchor, but what right did she have?

 But then he was there himself, catching hold of her as her body was racked with sobs, murmuring, "It's going to be okay, Mac, it's going to be okay, I promise..." 

Mahati rested her forehead against his shoulder, hugging him as hard as possible, the warm and familiar feel of him seeping into her bones, bit by bit, calming her down, till the tears dried out and she was just breathing deeply against him.

"Better?" asked Rutu.

"Lots," said Mahati, still reluctant to let him go. "If only the practical aspect could be handled."

Rutu did not make any move to let her go either, and ruffled her carefully set hair as he said, "Start with your parents. Let's go now, it will take just one burst of courage to get it out. Then they'll take care of everything."

"Yes, that was what I was thinking..." said Mahati. "Do you think mum and dad can really handle all this?"

"They brought you up. They can definitely handle this for you."

Mahati gave him a last squeeze before relinquishing her hold, raising a hand to wipe her face free from the tears.

"Okay, let's go," she said.

Rutu unexpectedly gave her damp cheek a pull, face filled with unmistakeable affection, before taking her arm and turning to leave the room.

Even after everything, her best friend had returned to her life when she had needed him. And she knew there was no one's shoulder she would rather lean on than Rutu's.

She should at least apologize...tell him how much she regretted pushing him away...how stupid she had been, taking the wrong deicisons as always...

Rutu had reached the door and was holding it open for her.

She should tell him...

She should. She should. She needed to.

Mahati drew in an enormous breath. "Rutu? I'm sorry we lost touch after college."

***

Rutu never said unkind things to people. But somehow all the pent-up hurt at Mahati's estrangement caught up with him at that moment as he let her arm go and turned back at the door.

"Bold of you to use the phrase lost touch," he said, "like it was nobody's fault, Mahati."

"It was my fault," said Mahati. "I'm not saying it wasn't."

"I guess no one could take a lie that far."

"I said I'm sorry, Rutu. I really am."

"I would believe you if you could give me at least one single reason," Rutu said-or almost snapped. Then he remembered the present circumstances they were in, and how distrubed she already was. "But it's okay, you don't have to say anything to justify...I mean there's no point digging all that up now, it's fine, don't worry, Mahati..."

But she broke in. "That day...the day of the final...I know you were drunk and it didn't mean much to you, but it meant so much to me, it...it scared me. And what with you and Aditi...I just thought the only way to get over you would be to stop...talking to you."

Didn't mean much? thought Rutu ironically. And what about me and Aditi, Mahati? There wasn't a thing between me and Aditi then. There would never have been anything if you didn't...

"Well, you did a good job of it," he said. 

Mahati's head was bent too low for him to see her face, but her fingers were curled around the hem of her saree, crumpling the material mercilessly. But her hands were shaking, too.

"I know that wasn't much of an explanation," she said. "But I don't have any better one. I know apologizing doesn't reverse-" 

"Do you want us to be friends again, Mac?" 

Mahati lifted her head, eyes wide in disbelief. "Rhetorical question again. Of course I want us to be friends again."

"I do, too," said Rutu in a rush. "So we don't need to think of all that again."

A smile brimming with a sudden burst of relief and solace lit up Mahati's tear-streaked face, and in that moment, Ruturaj was so glad they'd had that conversation, he knew he was smiling just as widely.

***

Rutu's smile had always had something of a healing quality, that made you feel warm right from inside. As long as she had this smile, and the person who owned that smile by her side, Mahati didn't think nothing much could be wrong with her world. Minor upsets could come, of course, like someone jilting her at the altar, but she could fight all of them and emerge.

It doesn't make much sense, Rutu, thought Mahati, but I'm happier now than I was before Rakesh told me about calling off our wedding. 

A/N: This chapter is impossibly close to my heart.