Insert Song | Levanter | Stray Kids
| Adolf's Theme |

| Yan's Theme |
Déjà Vu | Dreamcatcher

The only way to regain your pure self is to destroy your flaws. But what if that flaw is a defence mechanism you've grown accustomed to? Lying is a defence mechanism, just so I can shield myself from myself. It's become so integrated into my core that losing it might create a void. I don't know if I can part with it.

Is the truth worth a thousand lies? I don't know either.

"Yan," Adolf says.

I slide my eyes to his face. Him being the Hypno requires some getting used to.

"I'm fine." Pushing my hair behind my ear, I lower my gaze a little. "It's just... How could I have done such a hideous thing?"

"And how are you fine with that?" Adolf cups my face. "Look around you. It's been seven months since it happened. No one is here to judge you. They may even have forgotten about it."

"It's a scar, Adolf." I pull him away and lean back on the sofa. Fantina's house is nothing short of comfy, except for this conversation we're having. "Scars don't vanish just because you try to forget it. I've learnt that."

"So why did you try to repress it?"

I pull my hair. "This isn't helping it. Aren't you a hypnotherapist?"

It's now his turn to avert his gaze. "We should take a walk."

Without waiting for a reply, he drags me out of the house.

"W-Wait! Where are we going?"

"A trip down memory lane," Adolf says and tightens his grip on my wrist. "Let's go to the bar."

"It's only nine in the morning."

My plea falls on deaf ears. He releases his grip and storms off to the bar. Shaking my head with a sigh, I follow him.

It isn't far from where we are, only a few minutes' walk. We share a glance and I go first. Heading down the steps gives off a sense of nostalgia, and the quaint feel seeps into my being. What is it like to return to a bar after all this time? I wonder if anyone would remember me. No one asked my whereabouts, apparently, when Fantina made an excuse I was off on a trip to Johto. She wasn't exactly wrong if she means I'm trapped in a tower of sorts, just not the Bell or Burnt Tower.

The door opens under a gentle push, and I am back in the bar.

The bartender greets me with a smile. "You're back from your trip. How was it?"

"Exhilarating," I say. "It was nothing like I expected."

"I can tell. You seem more unburdened," he comments. "What would you have, Yan?"

"Gin." I turn to Adolf. "Do Pokémon drink?"

The Hypno blinks. "Alcohol has an acquired taste we can't bear."

"Huh." The bartender's shoulders heave. "New friend?" He asks like he has finally noticed Adolf.

I nod. "Sort of."

I drink in silence, under Adolf's watchful gaze, all while wondering what else he has in store for me.

About fifteen minutes later, we leave the bar and head toward the Lost Tower.

"Why are you taking me to the places I've been?"

"Revisiting your past at present," Adolf mumbles. "I think it might help."

"Wouldn't it be a trigger?"

"But it's what you wanted, isn't it?"

I bite my lip and nod.

Our journey continues in silence till we reach the tower.

It's quiet with no visitors save for us two. We head to the top and find it completely empty.

"Do you see?" Adolf whispers. "Your graves don't truly exist."

"I see." These are the only words I could say at the moment.

I have never been afraid of ghosts. I have always feared myself, my actions and their reactions. I have always feared my past.

A step forward hurls me towards the cool surface of the wall.

I have always been alive, but merely rejected my sorrowful existence. I had wanted to die. But my life remains incomplete.

How long have I wallowed in self-pity and refused to move on? How cyclic it has been, to live and die over and over in stagnancy.

"Let's go. I want to visit the Old Chateau."

Adolf raises a brow at my declaration, but doesn't say anything.

Our next and final stop is settled.

Into the woods we go, where Eterna Forest's only landmark lives on with pride.

The Old Chateau looks the same as when I last saw it. Smilingly, we enter hand in hand.

The ghost girl and her butler are there at the entrance, and so is the Gengar.

His words come to mind: "Promise me that you will choose to live without regrets. Promise me that you will choose to be yourself through and through and not let others undermine or underestimate you. Be the underdog if you have to, but always know that you can be, and you are, so much more than you think yourself to be."

It is invitation and encouragement enough for me to go on.

"I am back," I say. "And I will live with my promise to you."

Adolf squeezes my hand.

"Thank you for everything, Yan. We have prepared a meal for you," they sing in unison. "It is time we move on, too."

The trio closes their eyes and disappears without a trace.

My chest heaves and I lean on Adolf for support.

"Let's eat." Adolf straightens my frame. "You need the energy."

We take opposite seats at the dining table and feast. A wide spread of delicacies welcomes us with their vibrance and fragrance, so we comply. The filling meal ensures we linger about Old Chateau till the sky blushes orange.

Our departure takes us back to Hearthome, after passing through the serenity that is Eterna City and watching vermilion leaves fall into the dusklight's embrace. My eyes waver and a smile reaches my lips. It's been so long since I've had a restful day as this. Every day was spent in vile isolation and unhinged despair, but this day brings comfort. This evening brings solace.

Like the autumn leaves, I fall with grace and return to my roots. Like the autumn leaves, I let the wind of life guide me on my path. Like the autumn leaves, I let go.

The way the sun teases the clouds and tints them pink reminds me of my neglected warmth. Ghosts glide around these heavy wisps, moaning of regrets and fears, of anger and melancholy, as we put ourselves in morbid cages we call shelters. Above us, clocks tick almost inaudibly. These fragments, perhaps, are the parts of our lives that have turned routine and invisible.

Upon stepping into the gates of Hearthome, I glance skyward once more, and Adolf follows suit this time. The wind cradles a bittersweet melody that tiptoes on my eyes. My hair rises diagonally, swiping across my vision once or twice. The sky, the city, and the shadows all seem to meld with each other. A crumpled grin cuts our masks.

Every dawn is sandwiched by dusks. The same fate awaits every dusk.

In my rewound journey, I had confused dawn and dusk, as well as past and present. If I were to live in the moment whilst in the past, would I have been such a detached voyeur? Perhaps, that isn't exactly the best way to review.

I can only wish the best for the ones still in the sky, separated from the earth. Unlike me, they must have more who care about them and would worry so much about them that headaches and heartaches are inevitable. Someone like me has taken seven months to overcome her past, seven months to exhaust her lie, seven months to touch her scar and whisper, undaunted, to it.

"What are you thinking?" Adolf asks.

"Do you think the man mentioned in the Pokédex entry is still up there?" I face the Hypno.

Adolf narrows his gaze. "Only he'd have the answer to that."

I roll my eyes.

"Isn't that true, though?" Adolf adds.

"Yes, yes."

Our shadows intertwine.

"How is your psyche?"

I flinch. Then, sucking a breath, I say, "Slightly better, I guess."

"That's great."

I exhale. "There... There might be fluctuations in future. I can plan however much I want, but life can still find a way to turn the tables. I'll have to get a grip, or I'll crumble."

It always turns out this way. Some people in life are temporary, however close they might have been, like my ex. Then again, relationships are always complicated. In the end, it's about the effort on both sides. Will I leave a mark in someone's life? Will I be impressed by someone else?

And then there are situations. Causes and consequences. It could be an accumulation, it could be linear, but it will always loop in its own singular manner. Let the scar be a memento, and live on, to the fullest.

Whatever happens here on now, even if the past resurfaces, fate won't be the one to pull its trigger on me. I can rewind the past, I can abruptly recall it, but I won't let it control me for long.

Regrets can come. Guilt and fear can try to exploit me. But I will always be there.

I will live by this