A/N  I've had this hanging out in my google docs for months now. I love time-travel, do-over, fix-it fics, whatever you'd like to call them. I wrote this quickly several months ago and debated if anyone would be interested. I decided to refine it a little and publish the first chapter. I suppose it's a bit of a test, to see if it appeals to anyone and is worth pursuing. Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Rick woke slowly, in that vague halflife that is drifting between sleep and wakefulness. Something is wrong, he knows that immediately. He's usually instantly awake, never completely relaxed to be honest. Always ready for the other shoe to drop, for an attack to happen. This drifting is wrong, he thinks to himself. It's like his mind is sharp but his body is lethargic and stuck. Then a shrill voice intrudes on his drifting.

"Rick! Why are you still in bed?" he heard Lori ask loudly. Wait. What? Lori? She's dead. Been dead for years. He opened his eyes and sure enough, Lori's ghost stood right above him. He's confused. He was pretty sure he was past the hallucination phase. He hadn't talked to Lori since the prison, she'd finally left him in peace, he'd finally found peace. Of course, Sandi was a big cause of that, she helped him finally make peace with all of his mistakes he'd made, all the stupid decisions he'd made that had cost lives. Including Lori's.

The Lori ghost continued, "Rick! You promised you'd look at the car battery for me and you don't have much time before you have to drop Carl off at school." She reached out to shake him and Rick braced for when her hand went through him. Except. It didn't. She grabbed him hard by the shoulder and shook him. He just about jumped out of his skin and sat up quickly and said, "Wha??" as he pushed himself back toward the headboard of the bed and scrambled away from the ghost railing at him.

"You're not real," he said to his former wife. Then he looked at his surroundings. It was his bedroom from before; his and Lori's bedroom in their house in King County. "This place isn't real."

"What do you mean I'm not real, this place isn't real?!" Lori screeched. "I'm just as real as you are and I'm *really* determined to make sure you follow through on your promises instead of breaking them all the time. I need that battery looked at so I know I won't end up needing a jump start again today!"

Wait. He remembers this fight. It was about 6 months before he got shot when things started going from bad to worse between them, when they could barely speak without arguing. And Lori was being unfair, he'd had to work late the night before when she'd told him the car was having trouble. Alternator or battery he wasn't sure, or just her leaving the lights on. She'd hit him with it on a phone call last night, upset it had died on her. Blaming him as usual for not being a seer who knew the future and knew the car would die on her, that he hadn't prevented it in the first place. He'd told her he'd look as soon as he got home but ended up having to work late, so told her he'd check it in the morning when he slid into bed and she'd woken. So she woke him up early, determined things would happen on her timeline. The resentment and anger all came back quickly.

"I told you I'd look at it after I got some rest and I will! You didn't have to wake me so early, you don't have to be at work for a few hours. And why am I taking Carl to school, I thought you were walking him in this morning since I got home late and need some sleep?"

Lori looked surprised and slightly abashed at this, like she was surprised he fought back, surprised he called her out on her crap. He didn't think he did before, he just took it.

"Shane called," she said in a softer tone. "The Sheriff called you both in. He wanted you to meet him at the station after you dropped Carl off. Since you already had to get up, I thought you could take a quick look at the car first and then drop Carl off since you'll be on your way anyway?" She gave him a pleading look. "I already woke you up once but you fell back to sleep. I guess you didn't hear me. I'm sorry, I should have told you that first. I was just so frustrated I was going to have to go without a car another day because you got home late and are getting called in." She put her hand on his shoulder again and patted him. "If you could take a quick look I'd appreciate it." This was new. He didn't remember her apologizing last time. Was he dreaming and making up new stuff? Rewriting history?

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that." He looked up at her. "Shane didn't say why we need to go in? After the whole deal last night the Sheriff told us to come in late today, to get some rest."

"No, just that they needed you to come in."

He nodded. "OK, give me a minute to wake up and I'll be down." She patted his shoulder again and left the room.

Rick swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. He felt almost wobbly. He stumbled into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face and then stared at himself in the mirror. No beard just overnight stubble. Young. He looked as if he didn't have a care in the world. Except the eyes. Those looked the same. Old. World weary. Sad with the memory of all he'd lost. What the hell was going on? This was years ago. He didn't live in this world anymore. Did he? He shook his head at himself, no he didn't. This was a dream. His world was real, all too real. He lived in a world of walkers and living monsters and people who almost weren't human anymore. He protected his family, Carl and...Carl! He rushed out of his room and down the hall to Carl's room, slamming the door open. "Carl!" The lump in the bed moved a little.

"Just a little longer Dad, please?"

He sounded like Carl, but his voice was higher. He sounded like the Carl from before, just like he looked like himself from before. Rick sat quickly on the side of Carl's bed and pulled back the covers to get a better look.

"Daaaaad," Carl protested.

It was him, it was his son. It was his younger son, from before the outbreak. What the hell was going on? He picked Carl up and hugged him tight as Carl squirmed. "Dad, what's going on?"

"Nothing son," he squeezed tighter and forced himself to let go while he figured out what the hell was happening. He brushed his hand over his son's head once more and said, "You can have a few more minutes until Mom comes up." Carl hummed and rolled over in response, already drifting back off.

Rick rubbed his head as he stood up to leave and went back to his bedroom, his mind racing. He quickly moved to the bedroom window, pushed back the curtains and looked out. No walkers. No garbage in the streets. Manicured lawns. There was Chuck Robinson from down the street walking to his car. Not running, walking. Sauntering really, as if he didn't have a care in the world. No sign of an outbreak, no sign of any walkers. It looked normal, as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't lived a whole lifetime since this was his life.

As he turned away from the window, he saw the moon, just heading out of sight on the horizon. It caught his eye, it was bright and just for the briefest second he could swear he saw the outline of a wolf in it. He squeezed his eyes closed and looked again. It had sunk down further on the horizon. There was no wolf, of course. Just the moon going down, same as it always does. He was seeing things, that was his problem. He paused. What was he thinking? Of course he was seeing things, this whole place wasn't real. Just one big dream conjured by whatever crazed part of his psyche was flipping out again.

He was sure this had to be some kind of nightmare, some kind of penance his brain was making him pay for getting Lori killed, for getting so many of them killed. Torturing him by making him remember what he had and how life was before. Reminding him how small his problems really were back then. He tried slapping and pinching himself to wake up but it didn't work. He didn't know what to do. He finally decided he was just going to have to let the dream play out since it didn't appear he was going to wake up anytime soon.

Well then, he needed to get ready for work and take a look at the car. Maybe if he played along it would end faster? He quickly got dressed in his uniform--blast from the past--and went downstairs to the garage to pop the hood of the car. He could see corrosion on the battery connectors right away, so he took care of cleaning them off and testing the battery. Should be good as new now. He started the car up easily. He was sure glad it wasn't the alternator, that would be more of a pain to change. He caught his thoughts and told himself not to get sucked into this dream. This isn't real! This was just a means to an end, a way to get out of this nightmare.

With that reminder, he went back into the house and washed up at the kitchen sink. Lori and Carl were sitting at the table eating breakfast. Carl is all ready for school, his backpack sitting on the floor beside him.

"How'd it go?" Lori asked, with both an anxious and expectant look on her face.

"I think the connections were just corroded, I cleaned them up so they should work fine now. It started just fine when I tested it after the cleaning." Lori smiled at him, her whole face lit up. He took a step back in surprise. It had been a long time since he'd seen her smile at him like that.

"Thank you," she said. "You don't know how much this means to me."

Woah. This was definitely different from his memory. Lori hadn't been so grateful before. There absolutely hadn't been any smiles for him. Just demands as if it were her due. Lori brought a plate over from the stove where it had been staying warm.

"Here, sit down and eat before you have to go." She was so solicitous. What was happening here? He shook his head to try and clear the confusion in his brain caused by all the differences from his memories in this dream. It was like there were two versions of the same events in his brain now and it was disorienting to say the least.

Once he'd finished, he and Carl got into his cruiser and headed for Carl's school, Carl chattering all the way. Just the normal old kid chatter though. No mention of walkers, bad dreams, death. He listened more closely than he used to just to make sure. Nope. It was his Carl from before, his innocent son before he changed, had to change in order to survive in what the world was now. Er, then. Damn, this was confusing. He shot a fond look at his son, it was nice to remember him this way though. Maybe it *was* just a dream after all. Not a nightmare, just a very nostalgic dream. Even better than reality was.

"Bye Dad!" Carl yelled before he hopped out and ran across the school grounds to the front door.

"Bye Carl, have a nice day," he responded. Not that Carl waited long enough to hear him. He'd already gone in the door with his head bent to hear whatever his friend was babbling into his ear.

Rick drove by habit to the station, his thoughts still in turmoil, watching everyone and everything outside the cruiser, waiting for something to prove to him that this wasn't real. Waiting for the walkers to show up, for the world he knew now to appear. Nothing happened, just a normal happy life outside for all intents and appearances. Soon, he pulled up to the station.

As soon as he walked in the door, he saw Shane; his brother, his partner. His betrayer. His thoughts were shaken out of his brain forcefully though as Shane saw him and walked over smiling that big grin and clapping him on the shoulder powerfully.

"Rick! Glad you made it, brother. Thought I might have to pull you out of bed myself since you weren't here yet."

Rick huffed, and slid back into character. Into the him from before.

"You knew I'd be here. What's happening? You know?" he asked.

From behind him the Sheriff answered his question, "Good, you're both here. We have a mix up with the evidence from last night. Sorry to pull you back in so early but we've gotta get this straightened out ASAP or the whole case will be worthless."

The memories came flooding back then for Rick. He remembered now, the evidence they'd gathered in the bust last night, Shane had gotten sloppy. It had taken them all day to correct his mistakes to the satisfaction of the Sheriff and the DA.

Luckily, with his memory of what had been wrong before, he was able to speed things up a bit. 'Discover' the error faster and put it all right to their satisfaction. Soon he and Shane were out on patrol again, when they got a call.

"Patrol, we have a 10-16 at 144 Everett Avenue."

Rick peeled out toward Everett while Shane responded to dispatch.

"10-16, those can be tricky, gotta be on our game here," Shane comments.

"Yeah, the domestic calls are becoming the most dangerous," Rick agreed as he pulled up to the address. As they climbed out of the cruiser, they could hear a man yelling, right off. Rick cocked his head, trying to assess and hear more before they went in.

"I'll knock, you keep an eye out," Rick told Shane who nodded and stepped to the side of the door with his hand on his gun just in case.

Rick knocked and the yelling immediately stopped. Silence. He gave it a few and then knocked again and called, "Police. Open up."

"Answer it then," he heard the man's voice say at a lower volume. "You know what to say."

They waited while the deadbolt clicked and the doorknob lock snicked. The door slowly opened, revealing the woman he was sure was going to cover for her husband or boyfriend. He'd seen this all too many times, he thought as he peered around the woman, trying to get a line on her significant other's location. He needed to know if he was going to be a threat.

"Hello, officer, what can I help you with," said the most familiar voice in the world.

His eyes shot up with shock to the face he knew he'd see.

"Carol?!"

A/N  This might be the end. Who knows? I suppose it depends if anyone likes it enough to read it. :)  Leave a comment and let me know if you'd like me to continue.