:: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑𝟖 ::

jungkook thought he was invincible. losing seonghan had been a brutal storm, but he'd weathered it. he thought nothing could break him now, not even the guilt that gnawed at him like a hungry rat.

he was so so wrong.

a dreadful weight settled in jungkook's chest, squeezing the very air out of his lungs. his eyes were heavy and swollen from two days of unrelenting tears, blurring the world around him. his legs refused to cooperate as each step was an agonizing effort. yet despite the pain, he ran. he ran with a desperate urgency, lungs burning for oxygen, legs screaming in protest, to get some damn rest. ignoring the elevator; deeming it too slow, he took the stairs, two at a time, fueled by the fear of being late. he didn't stop until he came to the bottom floor of the hospital.

jimin's those words.

his mother.

jungkook wanted to just disappear. one more bad news and he will lose his goddamn mind.

he got on jimin's bike and started the engine, rushing to the hospital his mother was in. he forgot to wear a helmet and broke traffic rules but he didn't stop when the traffic police told him to, he sped up and didn't care if he got into an accident.

he just wants to see his mother fine.

reaching the hospital, jungkook almost tripped and fell while getting off the bike but that didn't stop him as he took the stairs once again and ran upstairs, bumping into a few nurses and people but didn't even care to slow down or apologize.

his feet only halted in front of the room where his mother was. his hands trembled when he held the doorknob, twisting it before opening it. his chest tightened when he closed his eyes and entered the room.

but the tightness around his heart unclenched when he heard that sweet voice he adored the most in the world.

"ggukie?"

jungkook's reddened eyes snapped open as he stared ahead at the person lying on the bed, eyes on him.

his lips trembled, "mom?"

his mother smiled weakly, "where were you?"

and in that moment, jungkook forgot about taehyung, forgot about all that happened as his eyes widened and tears rolled down hungrily yet again. stepping closer to his mother who looked at him affectionately, like those days when he would be awakened from sleep when his mother would kiss his forehead and stroke his head, telling him to wake up and when he would open his eyes to find his mother smiling at him affectionately just like now.

his mother was alive. fine. awake.

jungkook let out a childlike cry and ran to her, hugging the weak woman tightly. "mom!"

the woman closed her eyes and hugged him back, tears cascading down her face.

"oh my mom! mom! m-my mom!" jungkook cried so much he started to choke on his own saliva but that didn't stop him from crying and hug his mother, to feel her warmth and to feel her arms around him. he felt so alive.

"guess you missed me a lot" his mother chuckled, wiping her tears as she tried to pull back but the boy was so stubborn, not letting her as he clung on to her like a child.

so they kept hugging until jungkook's cries stopped and he was sniffling before pulling away, already wanting to hug her back. but he knew his mother was still in a vulnerable state after waking up from such a long coma.

jungkook sat down on the stool beside the bed and grabbed his mother's hand, covering it with both of his hands and glancing down at them before staring at her face again, concerned.

"how are you now?"

"i'm fine... but it feels weird to be awakened after such a long sleep" the woman chuckled weakly before looking at her son, "what about you? why do you look so tired my dear?" his mother reached out her hand to caress jungkook's face and to not overwork the woman, he dragged his face closer so that she could caress his face, the warmth of her hand putting jungkook's mind at ease for a few seconds.

when she asked him that question, suddenly he was back to reality. remembering about taehyung and what was happening to him right now. jungkook recalled it all and a weary sigh left his lips as he held the hand that caressed his face tightly.

"nothing... you should take rest. let me go talk to the doctor for a minute" jungkook raised from his seat and when he was about to turn around his mother held his hand making him turn to her again.

"you can talk to me about anything son. don't bottle it up from me"

jungkook knew he could tell his mother everything but he didn't want to pressure her at the moment. but he knew sooner or later he would act like a childish boy and complain about life to her. so he nodded with a small smile and left the room to talk with the doctor.

the doctor told him a good news in a while. his mother was out of danger and her health was improving a lot. all now she needs is plenty of rest and be careful about what she eats or not and take her medicines on time.

jungkook was relieved to hear all that as he thanked the doctor and excused himself, calling namjoon.

"has the operation ended yet?"

"no it's still going on. how's aunty? anything to worry about?"

"no, mom has finally woken up and she's alright now."

"thank god. we were really worried."

"i'll try to come back as soon as possible"

"no. aunty just woke up. give her your time. i'll let you know the updates from time to time"

"still..."

"jungkook. take a break man, if you fall sick now who will look after your mother? we are here, trust us okay?"

"i do trust you and jimin. but i... i don't know. maybe you're right. i'll stay here then. let me know about everything that happens there okay?"

"sure man. take care, bye"

"bye"

the call ended and jungkook returned to his mother who had drifted back into sleep. he settled onto the stool quietly, his gaze fixed on her face. the excitement he'd built up for months, the anticipation of seeing his mother awake, wasn't quite as potent as he'd imagined. he was happy, undeniably but to know that another loved one of his was fighting for his life cast a shadow over his joy.

jungkook let out a sigh as he lowered his head onto his mother's comforting lap, her warmth radiating through him. he closed his eyes, the weariness of his long day settling in. his mother's lap had always been a haven for him, a place where he could find peace and solace. and so within moments, he was lost in a deep slumber.

jungkook sees himself riding his bike.

he pedaled through the endless black void, his only companions the rhythmic whirring of his bike wheels and the wind whispering against his skin. he grinned, the freedom intoxicating, his heart soaring like a kite in a hurricane.

he loved this, the feeling of nothing but the air against his skin, the rhythmic whir of the wheels, and the boundless road stretching before him like a promise.

but then he saw him.

taehyung.

who stood directly in his path, a gentle smile playing on his heart-shaped lips. his eyes met taehyung's and a surge of terror flooded his system.

he swerved the bike with all his might, the tires screeching a desperate protest against the nonexistent ground but he didn't know if he ever hit taehyung as the world around him dissolved into a sickening vortex of black.

"TAE!" he woke up. his heart pounding a frantic rhythm against his ribs.

"ggukie? son? oh my god are you okay?!" he felt his mother stroking his hair while shaking his shoulders to wake up him which he already was luckily. he didn't want to stay in that nightmare any longer than that.

he sat up, sweat clinging to his skin, the remnants of the nightmare clinging to his mind like cobwebs. his eyes frantically searched the room before he glanced at his mother who had her eyes widened in worry, still holding his hand.

"are you okay dear? what happened?" she caressed his shoulder after he sat close to her.

"y-yeah i'm fine, don't worry mom"

"then why are you crying?"

jungkook's body froze as he looked at his mother, a tear rolling down when he did so. hesitantly he wiped the tear and looked away, not knowing what to say.

"is it because of tae?" jungkook's head snapped back at the woman who was now convinced because the way jungkook looked said it all.

"how do you know his name?"

"you were calling for him in your sleep"

"oh" jungkook dropped his gaze to his fingers latched on his mother's wrinkled hand.

it was too overwhelming and he knew if he thought about taehyung any longer, he would break down in tears again. he wondered when he got so vulnerable and weak? when seonghan died, yes he cried like never but he didn't feel this certain way back then. this feeling right now was eating him away— a panic attack was far better. at least he couldn't think straight then but now this feeling is so overwhelming that his mind can't stop making up different kinds of scenarios.

it was so suffocating.

he never told his mother about seonghan, he felt like a criminal who had committed a murder and how could he tell her about it? but right now, if he kept it bottled up any longer, he's afraid he would go crazy. the pain was so intense he would rather die than feel this.

seeing the look on jungkook's face, his mother firmly gripped his hand making jungkook look at her and give him a reliable smile. despite being in a coma for so long, his mother still looked the same and still gave the same smile and jungkook knew he was such a fool to hide anything from her.

emotions overwhelmed him and so he spoke without thinking.

"there's someone i love"

the woman's eyes slightly enlarged. it was the first time her son ever confessed about having feelings for someone.

"oh that's amazing sweetie. who's she? do i know her?"

jungkook swallowed, "it's a guy"

the woman's smile faded slowly and jungkook already regretted telling her. if this ends up pressuring her it won't be good for her health.

"oh i see... so does he love you?"

jungkook raised his head to look at his mother's face, still seeing that smile on her dried lips made his eyes smile first before a smile curled his pierced lips as well as he thought of taehyung. how he met the raven head to how he confessed to how they fell so in love that they stood where they stood now.

"a lot. he loves me to the point... he's willing to die for me" jungkook's smile dared to turn into a frown, recalling taehyung writhing under his bike, blood pooling around him.

"are you willing to do the same for him then?"

"in a heartbeat" jungkook replied almost instantly, not hesitating at all.

his mother broke into a giggle as she ruffled his faded green hair. jungkook looked at her innocently and found himself in awe at how sweetly his mother took his response.

"that's all i need to know"

"you're not upset?"

the woman shook her head and caressed his face one more time. "you two are willing to die for each other. that's strong love right there and this old lady doesn't want to fight something so powerful"

jungkook's heart swelled at that. a sob escaped his lips as he lowered his head, trying hard to not cry.

really, why did jungkook not realize it's not because they are fools that they can throw away their lives for each other. it was because they actually loved each other so much that they could go to any extent to protect one another. after all, love is not ridiculous, it was the purest form of human emotions.

"but mom... he's in pain right now because of me. i ruined it all" jungkook covered his face with his hands, tears wetting his palm and his mother's heart hurt seeing him like that.

"fix it then"

he uncovered his face and looked at her, his eyes all red and teary.

"huh?"

"fix what's broken"

jungkook's lips quivered, more tears threatening to fall.

"h-how?"

"be there for him. whatever the outcome, don't leave his side. be his strength, be that remedy to his pain"

hearing those words, jungkook looked at his mother, surprised.

"do you think i can do it?"

"of course my baby. i see it in your eyes, your love for him is blazing— it's so strong." the woman grabbed both his hands, squeezing them. "as your mother, i don't want you to hurt and i know all your hurting is because you're not with him right now"

"no it's not... i'm happy right now. you're with me" jungkook took her hands and kissed them, not wanting his mother to feel left out.

the woman chuckled, "you think i didn't notice that heartbreaking look on your face after you rushed here? even after seeing me fine, you still weren't smiling"

jungkook knew his mother could read him like an open book so there was no point in lying to her. "i'm sorry mom... i'm really happy to see you alright. but he... he's in so much pain right now, i can't think straight"

"i understand dear. it must be a very big matter if you're like this."

"yeah... i wanna tell you everything but you're just recovering. i don't want to do anything to overwhelm you" jungkook sighed as he wiped the tears that had already dried.

"it's okay, you don't have to. i just don't want my jungkookie to hurt" she outstretched her weak arms and smiled at the boy who smiled back at her. "can i get a hug?"

"coming right up" jungkook chuckled as he hugged his mother tightly, finding her embrace so cozy and comfortable, he just wanted to be like this forever.

but his comfort is snatched from him when his phone rings.

gulping hard, he pulled away from the hug and fished out his phone.

namjoon was calling.

looking at his mother, who looked as anxious as him he answered the call and taking a deep breath, he pressed the phone against his ear.

"hello?"

"shit, jungkook!"

"what happened?"

"taehyung... he is awake!"

jungkook didn't wait for namjoon to finish his sentence, to know if the operation was a success. he cut the call and stood up, his body pulsating with intense anxiety.

"what happened son?"

"mom... i... tae... he needs me"

"go then. i'm fine, you should go see him" his mother urged and he rushed to her before hugging her.

"there's no one in the world i love more than you, you know that right?"

"i know baby. i know. now go and fix what's broken. okay boy?"

jungkook pulled away and ran to the door as he gave her an anxious smile. "i will"

jungkook's lungs burned for air once again when he reached the hospital. he crashed the bike against the pavement and ran towards the stairs like a madman, his heart jumping in its cage as he reached the corridors where he saw namjoon and jimin. the old man was nowhere to be seen.

namjoon and jimin rushed to him, hugging him tightly for a few seconds and jungkook didn't know why they acted like that. he could see tears in both of their eyes and that left him feeling even more anxious, to the point he might end up having another panic attack.

but he can't afford to lose himself right now.

"what... w-what happened? where's t-tae?"

"inside. he's awake... go see him" jimin wiped his tears, motioning at the icu doors.

jungkook's eyes once overflowing with tears, were now dry, replaced by a dread that gripped him tight. he felt paralyzed, yet with agonizing effort, he dragged himself towards the doors. his heart hammered against his ribs, a frantic rhythm that echoed in his ears.

his hands trembled like never when he pushed the doors open.

he was rooted to his spot when he saw taehyung.

taehyung looked at him. he was already crying but when he saw jungkook his tears intensified.

"jungkook... my leg..."

━━━━━━━

the next chapter is the last one.
you're up for a ride~