It feels bittersweet to love you, as though time has already run its ruinous path and everything good is over before it begins.
It feels perilous to love you, like a dust storm swallowing up the sky or a comet skimming the atmosphere.
But it is an honor to love you. Like the snow drifts giving way to spring, I will hold you for as long as I can.
                                 - Lang Leav

____________________________________________________

Maaz

Two weeks after Zara said yes, to my almost proposal, I can't stop myself. I have to make this official. Uncle Amir was more than happy when I gave him the news, that Zara has accepted me. With Zara's yes and his approval, there was only one thing remaining.

I give her a call, telling her I would be picking her up today. I hurry with my work and sort out the papers spread before me into neat stacks. Then I place a few calls. I look at my watch, she must be about to leave the library.

A text brings my attention to the phone.

I'm sorry. I have to work an extra hour today. Tomorrow?

How about late lunch?

Thanks. If it's not much of a bother to you.

Ever the formal Zara. I wonder if she ever would put her guard down.

I place a few necessary calls and then settle down with another balance sheet to tally the amounts.

An hour later I'm parked outside the library, she walks out followed closely by Liam. I watch her say goodbye to him with a strange feeling.

'Where are we going today?' She walks over to me.

'Just late lunch. Would you like to go somewhere else as well?' I inquire.

She shakes her head quietly. She is silent today. Well, Zara was silent most days. But this was a different silence, the thoughtful kind. As I back out the car from the parking, I wonder where her thoughts take her this time.

We stay quiet on the drive. She has turned her attention to the passing road. Bright pink and purple flowers edge the lane. We keep going for a while. I spot the sparkling water beyond the road. Its surface glistens in the evening sun turning it a bright blue.

I stop in front of a quaint hotel, Anantara. A chauffeur gets my door, and I step out, noticing that, Zara hesitates at her door. She looks down at her outfit, consciously. It is the usual pants with a floral, printed shirt and black sneakers. Her eyes close for a second and she takes a deep breath, something she did to compose herself. I walk towards her and slip my pinky into hers.

'Let us go.' I say, though the words I'd have liked to say were, you look beautiful. She fidgets with the hem of her shirt, chewing on her bottom lip. I look away, to the valet who is taking my car away.

'But... why are we here? We could have gone somewhere less... ostentatious.' She says, gazing at the huge hut shaped, multi-roofed building ahead of us.

'It is going to be only us. Don't worry.' I reassure her.

I pull her along to the reception and tell the receptionist, 'Reservation for Mr. Maaz Adam please.'

She beckons another staff member, and he comes to us.

'Good evening sir. My name is John, and I'll be serving you today.' He says. 'This way please.'

'Maaz, what have you done?'  She asks me sternly. I shake my head and murmur it's nothing, pulling her along with me as I try to keep up with John. And fervently praying she doesn't get this the wrong way.

John is waiting for us outside the door in a club cart, and we get in behind him. She stares at me aghast, not understanding.

'It's lunch or dinner if you want to call it, that is all.' I say nonchalantly. She glares at me. I can't help but find it cute.

I point to the passing cottages on either side of our cart. Each miniature cottage is a room for the guests. We drive over a wooden bridge with the waves lapping under its surface. Pristine clear waters for the guests to look at from the comfort of their rooms. The sun has descended and glows like an orange ball, painting the water with different shades.

I take her in, the way she takes in our surroundings. My fingers itch to photograph this moment. Her jet black hair pulled into a ponytail, stray hair flying with the wind, her innocent eyes admiring the beauty around us, her slender fingers fidgeting nervously. I'm jealous of the wind that gets to run its hands through her hair.

John stops the cart once me reach a deserted beach, and indicates the path to me, he drives off saying he will be back.

She glares at me freely once we don't have company.

'I don't like this.' She tells me, folding her arms across my chest, making herself even tinier. I don't know how she thinks she can intimidate me.

'It is nothing.' I emphasize yet again.

'This is not nothing.' She says harshly, her hands moving to encompass the place around us.

I look at her quietly, the hurt evident in my eyes. I had spent so much time thinking about this. I had an idea she wouldn't welcome the idea, but I had to let her know my intentions are pure. We could not begin a relationship on the wrong foot.

'I'm sorry.' She whispers, softly after a few minutes of silence, her voice melts me.

Tiki torches flare in front of us illuminating our path. I slip my pinky back into hers making her walk along with me. At the edge of the water, on a hanging deck, is a table set for two. The sun has completed its descent and hung at the tip of the water. Purple, pink, orange and red streaks adorn the sky. The water turns a shade darker as the light disappears.

I pull out the chair for her. I pull my chair beside her so that I sit facing the water, closer to her. The only noise between us is the crashing of the waves on the shore below us. I let her collect her thoughts.

From underneath the table, I pull out the bouquet of roses I had asked to be placed. Pale yellow roses, with a lone white rose in the middle.

She looks at me in surprise, 'One for each member of your family,' I say pointing to the four yellow roses. 'Just like they have stood with you, supported and loved you through thick and thin, protect you, guide you and never let you fall. I too promise to do the same.'

I point out the white rose, 'The way they surround you to keep you safe, I will also make your safety and concern my priority.'

'But Maaz... ' She says softly. I notice her eyes are wet. I don't know if it is happiness or grief. She takes the bouquet from me, our hands brushing.

I slip the small blue velvet box, the same from all those years ago, but with a different kind of hope and purpose this time. I don't go down on my knee. For all I know, she would freak out even more and probably jump off into the ocean below.

I place the ring on the table in front of her, I hear her gasp when she sees it. The sapphire sparkles in the dim light.

'Will you be my best friend forever?' I earnestly ask her, because like I had told her I meant it. All I wanted was to be her friend, for now.

'It looks like your eyes.' She tells me with a small smile.

I laugh at her comparison. I shut the box slowly, sliding it to her. I don't slip the ring onto her finger, I don't fail to notice the engagement ring that she still wears on her hand.

She folds her hand over the box, 'Thank you for everything, Maaz.' I know she doesn't mean only the ring but much more than that.

***

Our families being an important part we decided to have a small party at Zara's to officially announce our engagement. She refused to invite anyone else, and I obliged. I did not want to make it big either.

Arhaan had to be a definite part of it. There was no excuse to put him off now. I had no choice but to let him accompany me wishing sincerely he doesn't embarrass me.

Ira and dad leave early. Arhaan picks me up from the house in the afternoon. Though it is not a big event, I can't help but feel nervous. I play with the bouquet we had picked up from the florist.

When I had told dad about our engagement, the next day, he was skeptic.

'Zara is an amazing person, but do you think she is ready at the moment?'

'I asked her. She said yes.' I had replied. I did not tell him that I, also, felt the hesitancy, the reluctance with which she said yes. I trusted myself to pull her out and support her in every way. I was ready to give her everything. Could anyone else promise the same?

'Son, she is not a soft and dainty daisy, she has sharp edges, jagged ends. Will you pass through this without hurting either of you?' Dad had said. I did not trust anyone else around her. I had to trust myself.

'Dude, shut up!' Arhaan grumbles as a white Honda overtakes us, without signaling. He honks at the driver, muttering under his breath.

'I did not say anything.' I point out.

'Well then don't think so loud! I need to concentrate on driving.'

I stop fidgeting with the bouquet. I look down, at the shredded petals at my feet. I pull out the massacred flower from the bouquet.

'Uh...Maaz?' Arhaan, the hypocrite, speaks up. After telling me to shut up, he wants to talk.

'Does Eliza have a boyfriend?' He stumbles on her name, his eyes focused on the road ahead as if he doesn't care about the question.

But this is Arhaan, he doesn't ask about girls. Sure, he plays around with them, as he does with Leila, my secretary. But once out of sight they are out of his mind.

I let out a low whistle. 'Somebody has a crush.'

'No, I don't.' He negates quickly. My eyebrows raise at his quick, forced reply.

'You can lie to everyone else but not me.' I tell him.

'It's nothing. I was thinking for your benefit.'

'My benefit?' My eyebrows knit together, clueless, where this is going.

'Yes, we would become brothers.' He smiles at me, excitedly. 'In law, but whatever.'

My lips split into a gigantic grin, and then I break out laughing. 'That is definitely a huge benefit to me. That you are getting a girlfriend.' I pull out the you, sarcasm dripping from every word.

He throws his hands up in the ever, dramatically. 'You are getting a wife.' He stresses the wife, imitating my tone. 'Shouldn't I at least get a girlfriend?'

'I will try to believe that is the reason you asked about Eliza.'

When we pull into the driveway, Ziyan bounds over to greet us.

Uncle Amir approaches following him. Surprising me, he pulls me in for a hug. I can feel the happiness radiating off him. There a sense of calm and satisfaction on his face.

I push away the stab of guilt I feel and head inside.

Zara is the first person I spot upon entering, my eyes skipping past each person who is not her. She gives me a small, half smile.

'Let's get this party started.' Eliza gleefully exclaims, clapping her hands together.

'We organized a barbecue on the roof. Come on.' Ira informs me.

Ira and Eliza chatter excitedly and hurry upstairs, saying something about marination. The rest of the small party makes its way upstairs.

At the staircase, I notice Zara hanging behind. Her eyes are focused on her hand as she tugs at her finger. I decide to approach her when she lets out a frustrated groan.

She looks up at me. I realize she has been tugging at the ring on her finger, which refuses to budge. The skin around it has become an angry red.

'Do it.' She thrusts her hand at me, looking right into my eyes with a challenge in her eyes. Numair's engagement ring mocks me from her finger, the diamond glaring at me.

She wants me to be the one to remove it. She wants me to know, it is me, who is hurting her.

'You don't have to if...' I begin.

'All eyes are going to be on us. What do you think they'd think?' Her voice is low. Her eyes bore deep into me, daring me to answer.

I swallow hard. How I wish things could be otherwise. But I have to keep up the promises that I have made.

I grasp her hand, laying our palms together. I move closer to her, unable to break out of the spell her eyes have cast upon me. I see the moisture lining her eyes. She does not look away.

I use my other hand to squeeze the skin around her finger then slowly, pull out the stubborn ring. Inch by inch it moves down her finger.

She gasps as the ring finally gives way and lands in my hand. I watch her heart crack, through the windows of her eyes, knowing I am the reason behind it.

***

A/N : Hey there, a humongous thank you for sticking with the story until here! You guys make my day a little brighter with your comments and votes. I could never thank you enough!

Press that little star before you leave.
Peace.