Was It All For Nothing? - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

Was It All For Nothing? was written by Sarah_Hanguklover_13. It is an original novel taking place in South Korea, following main characters Min-Jae and Hae-Ri through the ups and downs of university. It is a fun but realistic romantic comedy with plenty of moments of humor alongside some moments that will hit you right in the feels.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

Let's jump right into it!

I like the settings and descriptions in the story about South Korea. I was slated to go to either Ewha or Korea University as I got accepted into both study abroad programs, and I had to study Korean life, culture, landmarks, etc. in excruciating detail in order to prepare, so it was really cool to see these locations and cultural elements brought to life. The world is super rich and filled to the brim with interesting culture, language, cuisine, and environments that get the readers ready to immerse themselves in the novel.

I really like how you made the location a central part of who these characters are. In all of my contests, worldbuilding is one of the categories, and many worlds I read about are vague to the point where I don't even know where it takes place. Even if I do know, there are still some issues where I can't picture it clearly, so it was refreshing to read a story that is specific about the location, and not only specific but also descriptive about it, making it impact the characters and how they go about their day-to-day lives.

On the surface, I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me, and I, in general, believe this is big since it gives the reader what they need to imagine what's going on in good detail. In other words: It helps them become more attached to the plot and characters as a result since we can imagine things clearly.

Similarly, I like how you take the time to flesh out what it means to be a non-Korean living in Korea. It's not easy, and there are many difficulties outside of the obvious of it being a new country to adjust to. There's also the discrimination, homesickness, lostness, etc. There are many factors that go into it, and I like how you acknowledge the difference between being a native Korean and a non-Korean. Like the world, I know that may seem small, but it's actually really huge for making me want to read more since it feels realistic and also gets me more attached to the characters.

Moving more into the core storytelling elements, I liked both of the lead characters, Min-Jae and Hae-Ri, and I also liked the other characters, like Jessica. I liked how you gave them all relatable struggles and clear personalities that made them stand out from one another. I'd say my personal favorite was Hae-Ri due to her having the most clear personality that stood out from everyone else. All of them had interesting traits and things I liked about them, I just felt the most attached to Hae-Ri. They felt like real people going through real events, and for that reason, I think they were some of the best parts of the story.

Lastly, while on the topic of characters, I like how you gave us more POVs as the story went on. Alright, I'll admit I'm like the last person to say something like that. I don't personally like it when authors switch POVs in the middle of chapters unless it's third-person omniscient because that's pretty seamless, but for more limited stories where the POVs switch in the middle of chapters, I don't really like them and feel it's easier to read and easier to do to just wait until the next chapter to switch POVs... but, I was surprised by how much I didn't mind it in this story.

Because you gave us time to understand the characters as individuals and with more limited POVs, as you slowly introduced new ones (in the same chapters) to us, we felt ready to switch. We already knew their personalities and how they would look in a POV, so giving us their POVs didn't feel overwhelming or annoying, and I'm glad you gave us some time in the scenes before switching to the next POV (when you have multiple POVs in a single chapter). This may seem like a small thing, but considering I'm the Grinch when it comes to POV changes in a single chapter, I think the fact that I actually was okay with it and was even vibing with it is an impressive feat, and it's because of how you introduced the POV switches and didn't rush into things.

All in all, Was It All For Nothing? has strong worldbuilding, and I really loved the emphasis on that since too many books I read make the world feel vague. It was refreshing to read a book that cares about its location, and not only that, writes about it accurately, from what I can tell based on my studies. However, the worldbuilding and the realistic depictions of emotions/the world around the characters are not the only strengths the book has. It's well-rounded with its worldbuilding, plot, and characters, overall making it a very enjoyable read!

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What Didn't Work:

Most of what I have to say is grammatical.

First and foremost, there are frequent Korean errors throughout the story. Just for context since I know you're a Korean language learner based on the comments, I speak Korean near-fluently and have been learning for four years. It's one of my fields of study in college. That's why I'm bringing it up in this review. I'm not fluent fluent, so I'll stray away from complex Korean topics, but I'll cover spellings and speech style. I'm not sure if you knew that about me or not and that's why you applied to this shop in particular, but either way, looks like it works out!

"Komawo" in the context you used it is meant to say thank you, but that would be 코마워 in Hangeul. There's a huge difference between "k" and "g" in this context because k, or ㅋ, is an aspired consonant while g, or ㄱ, is plain, making the pronunciation vastly different. I know some people use the k in the rom for gomawo, but I personally despise this spelling because it implies you're saying 코마워 and not 고마워. I understand that's more personal preference, but it looks extremely wrong, in my opinion. It's also used in the wrong context sometimes. In the first chapter, for example, Min-Jae says 고마워, and Hae-Ri reacts like he just said something formal. He used 반말, or half-speech. That is the most informal Korean speech style. The sentence overall came off as informal because of that. Maybe you can have him say 고맙습니다, which is the formal form of gomawo.

You also consistently spell some words wrong, like miahae as mianhe. That would be 미안헤, but the Hangeul is 미안해. The 애 is spelled ae in rom, not e. Or 알겠습니다 being spelled as algessimida. There's no i present in the Hangeul. I think you meant algessseubnida (chapter 7). There are some other things too, like seonsaengnim (선생님) is spelled as seosengnim in chapter 10.

Korean is such a complex language, and there are different dialects and speech styles, so I hope that explanation is helpful about the speech styles and spellings. I encourage you to keep at it since you're doing good so far! As a fellow Korean learner, I encourage you to keep writing in the language and practicing it!

If you're up for it, I encourage you to also write in Hangeul. I understand using rom for books since it's easier for readers who don't know Korean, though if you're ever interested in using Hangeul, I encourage you to since it'll speed up the language learning process. But that's totally up to you if you want to use it in future books since I understand using rom is more accessible to readers, though maybe you can even use both if you'd like. Really up to you and what your personal preferences are!

The next two suggestions are about dialogue, though one is grammatical and the other is creative. Let's start with the grammar, then we'll get into the creative side of things.

Grammatically, dialogue tags are done incorrectly, though this is far from the most severe case I've seen since you lowercase the tags when they aren't proper nouns, which is great! The only issue you have with tags is that you use commas where they aren't needed and use periods/full stops for tags. When using a tag, the dialogue can end in anything other than a period/full stop, and you also don't need double punctuation. By that I mean, you don't need . and ,. You only need one. I'm a visual learner, so let's break this down with an example!

From chapter 9: "Let's share a bowl, I'll pay.", she said.

It should be: "Let's share a bowl, I'll pay," she said.

So you're half-right where you have the tag lowercase, which is awesome. Most writers on Wattpad uppercase non-proper nouns (for dialogue tags, like "Let's share a bowl, I'll pay," She said, which is incorrect), so that's great that you already lowercase them. The only issues here are the period/full stop and the comma outside of the quotes. When using a tag, the period/full stop isn't needed and should be replaced with a comma or other end punctuation depending on the sentence type (like a ? or !). So it wouldn't be this: "Are you okay?", she asked. It would be this: "Are you okay?" she asked.

Some more examples of correct tags:

"Hey," she said.

"I'm here!" she shouted.

"Did you miss me?" he asked.

"I'm going to the store," Raven said.

I hope all that makes sense! Let's move into the creative suggestion now. I'd suggest using less dialogue tags. For example, in chapter 11, there are 21 lines of dialogue, and of those 21, 20 of them have tags. For that reason, I'd recommend the 50-30 advice of dialogue tags. It's good advice for starting to limit tags. The reason we advise against using tags is because they're telling over showing, and they also get repetitive/unnecessary if used in excess. Along with that, it risks you putting all of the emotion on the tag and not in the dialogue itself. The most important part of dialogue is the dialogue, not the tag, so that's why writers recommend not using many. That's where the 50-30 advice comes in.

The 50-30 advice for dialogue states that of your dialogue, 50% or less should be tagged, and of that 50%, 30% or more should be said or asked. Keeping it at a 50% maximum makes it so at least half of your dialogue is using other methods to show who's speaking. Other methods include relying on the back-and-forth speech pattern readers are used to, introducing character dialogue using actions (Like: He chuckled. "*insert line here*."), letting the characters have such a unique speech style that we know who it is just from reading the dialogue, etc. The preferred tags are said/asked since they're the least obvious ones, therefore making it so your tags go more unnoticed, calling less attention to the telling over showing. There's nothing inherently wrong with using tags that aren't said or asked or tags in general, though try to make sure you aren't overusing them, is my suggestion.

This advice is a good exercise for downsizing on telling over showing, so I hope it's helpful, and I hope all my suggestions made sense!

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Summary:

- Cool world

- Realistic approach to non-Koreans living in Korea

- Fun characters with relatable struggles

- Good job with the POV switching

- Korean errors

- Dialogue tag errors

- Creative suggestion for dialogue

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Overall:

Was It All For Nothing? is an entertaining story not afraid to go darker at times to show you the downsides of university. The main characters go through many relatable struggles that will make you want to cheer for them and see them succeed, and all of this is happening through the lens of a realistic depiction of South Korea, which is rare nowadays with how many fanfics write it poorly. If you're someone looking for a fun experience that oozes with culture and intrigue, then this is the perfect book for you.

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Thank you for submitting your book. If you have any questions or would like any additional reviews when the shop reopens, please let me know.

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I'm going to start leaving this new note at the end of all reviews since Wattpad removed pms.

If you would like to keep in contact with me and ask me for more feedback on your work, I have a Discord server for all readers, writers, and friends. I'll leave a link in the inline comment here for anyone who would like to join.

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