Title

I'm unsure as to what the title really means and how it could even be related to the book and plot development. 'The Beauty Of Gold' is a very different title, simple but different. It's like you've played around with the word a a bit, there's definitely some kind of meaning behind it, well that is what I'm assuming but then again I could be totally wrong.

Cover

You currently have no cover for this book, however, I can see that you've only started writing very recently, so I can't say much.

Some feedback would be to create or use a cover which is related to your book, even if it's not the best quality, and make sure any images used are clear and have some colour.

Ensure that the font used for any text is clear and the colour of the text goes well with the actual cover so it doesn't clash.

Think about the moods and themes associated with the book and try to include these in the cover through images and colours used.

If you'd like us to make a cover for you, check out the Graphics Book. We would be happy to help.

Blurb

The blurb is not very interesting to be honest. It just feels like you're comparing two people, for no apparent reason. I'm literally given the names of two characters - Leah and Ling - who are both opposites of each other in terms of social class. I'm assuming the book is more about how Leah's views and opinions of others may change as she gets to know Ling. I think the book focuses on how individuals can change their views and themselves when with others. Leah, maybe being the stereotypical rich girl,  may become more accepting and less arrogant.

First Chapter

Okay, the first chapter opens up with Leah going for a casual jog in her wealthy area where she meets Ling- well bumps into Ling. You did a somewhat good job at setting the scene around Leah whilst she was jogging, however, I would have liked the chapter to be a little longer.

First chapters should be between 1500 - 3500 words long. Anything shorter than this doesn't set the scene and introduce the characters well enough.

You do need something a bit more in the chapter that will interest the reader and make them want to read more.

Plot / Theme

It is much too early for me to judge or make any comments on the development of the plot due to the fact that there is only one chapter which seems unedited reads more like a draft. There could be quite a few themes in the book which as social class and the way people are judged.

Some suggestions would be to plan the plot beforehand, ensure there are events occurring in each chapter, and some twists thrown in for good measure before you begin writing each chapter. Try to make the plot as original as possible; put effort into it and own it.

Writing

Straight away, I can see that you're a new writer so I'm going to give you honest feedback and suggestions to help you.

First of all, you did a decent job describing the surrounding area when Leah is jogging, however, some more detail could be included to make it interesting and to make the chapter a little longer. Maybe explore more of Leah's thoughts, and how life is currently going for her. It's smaller things like this that bring characters to life.

My feedback for you would be to ensure your spelling, punctuation, and grammar is correct. I noticed several mistakes in the first chapter which made me assume that the chapter has not been edited at all. It is important to have good spelling and grammar throughout your writing as it not only helps you improve as a writer but also allows the reader to enjoy reading your book.

Try to split up your writing into smaller paragraphs. I couldn't help but notice that all of your writing was crammed together, which does make it unappealing so I would suggest you split it up. You could try reading other books and looking at different styles and layouts which may help you figure out when to jump to the next paragraph.

As you are a new writer, I would say experiment with your writing as much as possible in order to find your writing style. As a writer, you will always be improving. No one's work is ever perfect, so don't be afraid to try new things.

One last suggestion would be to use descriptive language throughout your writing in order to spice it up a little. Try using adjectives, metaphors, and different sentence starters. Try to make sure this is consistent within all your chapters.

Also, the length of your chapters needs to be as consistent as possible. Make sure each chapter is neither too short nor too long. Personally, I try to make each one of my chapters at least 2500 words however, the length does depend on whether you want to write a long or short book.

Characters

The development of your characters is still in the early days I'd say, seeing as you've only written one chapter and the characters have only just been introduced. However, I would say that you've done a good job at portraying the characters as within reading the first chapter, Leah comes across as a snobby, judgemental rich kid whereas Ling comes across as more nervous and shy.

Some feedback for the development of the characters would be try to make the characters original and different from others. Try to really step into the shoes of the character when writing and think about their thoughts, feelings, and actions. You also want your characters - even side characters - to have their own complete personalities so that you can show different sides of them throughout the development of the book.

Overall Impression

So far, the book is very much in the early days and so I have tried to give you as many suggestions and as much feedback as possible to help you with your writing. You have been able to do some things in your writing, but these can still be expanded and improved upon. I'm hoping all my feedback does benefit you in some way and helps you improve as a writer.

Good luck with your book!

Reviewed by: Pixie