Title

The title is simple, yet it doesn't really tell me anything about the story. I have no clue as to what themes and conflict will be included. I don't even have a clue as to what this book's genre will be.

Though I firmly believe that there is beauty in simplicity, I am so put off by the bland simplicity of this cover that I honestly wouldn't be reading this if I weren't reviewing this book. My feedback would be that you could change the title into something more catchy, something that will catch the reader's attention as readers can be very picky when it comes to titles.

Cover

As authors, we wish to captivate and enthrall our audience. Thus, first impressions are crucial. Though the title was lacking on this part, I believe that the cover looked very nice and it was rather pretty. It is attractive and I shall go ahead and assume that the woman depicted on the cover is one the characters, or may very well be the main character. I can't be sure however as I am yet to dive in and see what this book has to offer.

However, I do suggest a few minor changes. The look is already great, the image used is vivid and clear. The only issue I have is with the placement of the title. You placed it rather far off to the upper left and I almost didn't see it thanks to the size of the title. I suggest that you enlarge the title fonts and perhaps weight it down a little lower to keep it within the immediate sight of the reader.

Other than that, I have no more issues with the cover and I think it's very pretty. It gives me the sense of something classical and perhaps bright.

Blurb

I noted that the blurb is rather short and I don't really think it captures my interest. From reading the blurb, we find out that Eight is the main character and that she is a shapeshifter living a typical life on earth. This is a good premise, however, it is with the dispersion of information that I have issues with.

Nothing is given to us regarding Eight's personality: just because a character is a shapeshifter, that doesn't mean we find her immediately intriguing.

An author must give their intended audience reasons that they should care and reasons to read this book specifically when there are thousands, millions of books out there.

At the same time, I was put off when you said 'Read to find out' in the very last part of your blurb. I never like these kinds of blurbs and it is a rare case that I end up reading stories with these kinds of blurbs. I suggest that instead of telling the reader to read, instead, you should give them the incentive as to why they should read. By doing your blurb correctly, you can definitely achieve this ending.

So from what I have read so far from the blurb, this could be a classical romance adventure. But I never would have guessed that this would be an LGBTQ story had I not read the tags. This is another part where I would like you to improve. If there are going to be LGBTQ themes and scenes, I do suggest that you mention or foreshadow them in the blurb. This could potentially be an addition that would attract more readers to your book.

Your book is also tagged under lemon, and from what I can infer, this refers to mature scenes. I'm not quite sure if there will be mature scenes in the book however since is not rated mature.

Either way I am going to go ahead and assume that there will be some such scenes and I do hope you provide warnings before launching these. Now that I have looked at the title, the cover, and the blurb, I am ready to move on and read the first chapter of the book. I can't be sure what to expect yet but I hope this will be a good read.

First Chapter

So, the first chapter wasn't exactly the best as I thought you were a little too straightforward with the terms and the vocabulary used.

In the first chapter we are introduced to Eight, who is quite a fiesty young lady. I didn't really find her all that interesting in this chapter. Even with her shapeshifting abilities, I did not find her to really be anything special at all. Perhaps it is because the chapter felt rather rushed, but I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy it. Had I been a regular reader, I would not have read past the first chapter.

I think that the real problem here is that you were too overly specific with the 'how' she got to the places she went, instead of the 'what' she did when she went to said places. As readers, though we want to have a vivid image in our heads in respect to the setting and the background, we don't really care about all the other stuff that doesn't add any relevance to the story at hand.

Strive to remain concise, but don't forget to add a touch of flavour into the narrative whenever the opportunity arrives. Lucidly describe the scents and the sensations yet leave room for the audience's imagination to wander. The most immersive of stories are those that give their readers the chance to imagine and wonder rather than overloading them with mostly irrelevant information.

Second Chapter and Third Chapter

So here in the second chapter, Eight acts a little too illogical. The first time she meets Neer, all she did was ask him questions suspiciously and then just sat on her bed when she obviously noted the strange way this man was looking at her. When girls get a bad feeling about a man twice their size, the bed is the last place they'd go to especially if that man is also in their room.

It seems to me that Eight has no sense of self-preservation. This reaction is also rather cliched: most commonly found in the romance and fanfiction genres, where the main character either trusts too easily or is just too plain dumb to act in self-preservation. I suggest you revise this scene and give Eight some sense of caution . It came out as rather trope-ish and it actually caused my attention to wander off whilst I was reading the chapter.

The third chapter is our first introduction to Ares and to the Silver Tribe. To be honest, I felt disappointed when the settings were rushed in favour of the plot. We weren't even really able to experience this world that you have built for the characters.

So, in this chapter, we get to meet the parents of Eight (who is actually Uni) and of Neer. We find out that she has younger siblings still on Earth and in addition, we learn of the ways of the tribes.

I will say that you did a commendable job with intertwining exposition and dialogue. Doing so is very tricky and as someone who loves worldbuilding and seeing lore intertwined with the dialogue, I thought that I really just had to commend you. My only issue is that there weren't enough descriptions. As I have mentioned earlier, as readers, we wish for an immersive account. Hence, how exactly are we to be immersed when the descriptions provided are lacking?

In addition, I suggest you take into account the apparels and the structures across your world. This ties in with worldbuilding and yes, I shall discuss worldbuilding a little bit later in this review. But my point is this, describe and use flowery words, take the liberty of imagination and channel your passion through words.

Dialogue

I have to say, the dialogue was rather bland and there was little creativity in it. Whilst reading this book, I felt as if the dialogue was scripted; it just didn't feel natural. Though it was consistent and the speech patterns of the characters didn't fluctuate, they were also very similar. By that, I mean I couldn't differentiate one character from the other. If we removed all the 'she saids', the 'he stated', etc. I wouldn't have been able to distinguish one character from another at all.

I suggest you add flavour to their dialogues. Make it so that the characters stand out from one another. Use quips in speech to express the emotions of the characters, create tension through variety in vocabulary. Remember, the more interesting your dialogue is, the better.

Grammar

Your grammar was mediocre in the sense that you have made mistakes, but there weren't too many. I wasn't inclined to throw the book and I was able to keep on reading. However I do suggest that you either give your book another go, or request the aid of an editor in order to ensure that your book is rid of typos and grammar mistakes.

Worldbuilding

As earlier promised, I shall discuss worldbuilding; how you built your world and how you intertwined your creation into the narrative.

However, before that, I would like to note that not every writer worldbuilds in the same way. Some writers like to focus on the nitty-gritty, some writers prefer (like me) prefer consistency, and some prefer to focus on the economical and political aspects of their world. In addition, some settings lead to different types of worldbuilding and different narratives lend to different styles.

I shall try my best to be as specific as possible with respect to your story.

So in this story, I learned that there are several tribes and that there are dragons living in the land of Ares.

The dragons send their children to Earth in order to foster greater appreciation for the land of their birth. However, there are those like Eight who say 'screw this' and seek refuge in one of the refuge cities. In these refuges, they have the chance to receive an education and start anew.

So, this isn't that bad of a concept; on the surface level, there are no issues. However, as I take a deeper, more critical look into the world you have created, I fund some issues that were specifically not addressed in the story.

First of all, the royalty and the hierarchy was no fleshed out.as anreader, I have received little to no information as to the hierarchies of Ares or how the royalty even works. In addition, I don't really see how the refuge cities are even able to survive. I understand that they obviously do trade in order to survive, but unless this setting is explicitly a modern/high fantasy setting, I really don't see how they have managed to operate.

I suggest you look back at your worldbuilding and see where you can tweak the narrative. It would all end up for the better and it will help in making your world more consistent and believable.

It tends to be the smaller worldbuilding details that make it seem all the more real. Keep this in mind.

Characters

The main character is Eight, a shapeshifter who is the First Princess of the Silver Tribe. She is married to Prince Neer but after he violated her during their wedding night, she flees the Silver Tribe. So Eight's character changes across the span of the chapters.

At the beginning, I perceived her as strong and brilliant with the capability to kick arse. However, as the story progresses, she becomes more and more dependent on Luna. I also don't see why she ends up trusting everyone so easily. She's always letting her guard down and I think that is a negative flaw. As a character, she is rather weak and she seems more reactive than proactive.

I highly suggest you look back at her character and see where you can improve. A weak MC is a useless MC. As far as I have read, Eight seems almost like an opaque glass and a mirror. An opaque glass because she is very obvious and her character is rather brittle. A mirror as I believe that Eight is less of her own character and more of a puppet. She felt and acted like someone else rather than being the character that she is.

In addition, I have noticed that the stakes for Eight aren't really stakes at all. No matter what happens, convenient plot armour is always there to save the day and I personally find that this fact is one of the main causes of your weak narrative.

Also, I notice that she is always fainting for no reason really. I feel as if you've overused this trope. I suggest you either find alternatives to making her pass out, or just cut them completely. They don't really add anything to the story other than perhaps that Eight might benefit from visiting a doctor.

As for Luna, I found her to be interesting as she was very helpful and generous to Eight. But then again, I couldn't really see the logic behind why she helped Eight in the first place. I appreciate her character and personality: she is very brilliant and I admire her for resourcefulness.

However, I believe her character has been taken advantage of as she served the mere purpose of exposition and convienency for the main character. I suggest that you give Luna her own autonomy and give her an arc of some sort that will carry her throughout the length of the book.

Neer was a complete and total bastard; a dishonourable man with no respect towards Eight. As flat as his character may have appeared on the surface, he was the only character with depth as far a I'm aware. I do think he is interesting and if you keep developing him into the villain, I think you would have a great one indeed. I only pray you don't turn him into a bad boy love interest as that would severely adversely affect his characterisation.

Overview

This book was not a very good read and I didn't quite enjoy it. I found none of the characters all that intriguing and I was disappointed by the main character. Eight could definitely use more work and perhaps the length of the chapters could also be more consistent.

As for the setting, I like some of the cultural aspects like the wedding traditions and the royalty. Had they been more fleshed out, the book would have made for a much more interesting read.

I really felt that this book was too cliche, both in terms of the fantasy genre and the romance genre. I will be honest, romance isn't exactly my field of expertise, but, trust me when I say that I have spent many hours studying the genre in order to better understand it. I have read my fair share of romance and because of my familiarity with the tropes and the cliches, I quickly found the cracks in the narrative.

My main suggestion would be that you either do more research on the cliches and tropes related to the genre, or you have another look at your notes and then see which scenes and event you could tweak in order to make them more original and thus more exciting.

In addition, I would also like to suggest that you flesh out your world even more. Include more graphic and lucid imagery so as to better immerse the readers into this world that you have created. I understand the work that goes into building a world and thus I commend you for your patience and persistence.

I wouldn't really recommend this book to anyone as it currently is. A book steeped in cliches is not exactly a good read and I won't dare lie. However, I do believe that this book has potential that could easily be reached with some further development and editing.

When you have revised and edited the book, do come forward, I would be happy to read through it again.

Reviewed by: Lyssa