Title

When I see the title I did, for some odd reason, think about the military, which is fine but I honestly was confused about this because well, I was definitely surprised when I learned what the book was about.

As I have now read the first chapter I do recommend you saying this it is a one shot book otherwise another poor dummy like me will think this book is something else when it isn't. I would recommend you put the word oneshot in  the title to avoid any nasty backlash you may receive.

Blurb

So only then did I realize that this is not a military book, but rather one about BTS songs. I was a bit disappointed, I have to admit it. I mean I have never really listened to their songs unless it was Fake Love or Idol, which is probably the most mainstream songs they have. (No offense). I can't really say I like the blurb because there's not enough to judge upon. I would recommend changing it, not because I think it's bad but because stories are read more when they have better blurbs.

BEFORE WE GET INTO IT

Disclaimer: When coming into reading this book I may have thought it was a mistake at first. I do not listen to K-pop for a reason because I am learning another language already and it may screw up what I have learned. I do on occasion listen to Love Scenario or Kill This Love but that's about it. I should let you know that the references mentioned I will not understand and may accidentally insult you.

Reader (Characters)

I found them all rather amusing to read, I say amusing because I am not a fan of BTS so I can't say I relate to the storyline. I found myself having look up each band member and listen to each song to understand it. This made me find a good playlist for when I'm drawing. I can't say I know the BTS boys well so I don't know what to say about their personalities or what they are like. I'm gonna say you did very well making them human because I have read fanfictions where the person being shipped with the reader is questionable......and uber creepy.

They are good songs I have to admit it but I think you are portraying the main character wrong in a lot of the chapters. As much as we love the kind hearted, soft spoken, happy go lucky females, we have to remember that there are many different types of women/fans out there.

I mean I am a huge nerd for video games and anime but no would ever know this because 'I don't look the part'. Not everyone is happy and excited easily, some girls are quiet, some are hot heads, and some are just average. And yes there are extroverted women who draw men towards them and have many likable traits but if you want a successful X Reader story you should mix up the character traits per chapter. Make the reader a Tsundere, or just really quiet. It makes the readers relate to their own character better and will ensure that you won't get bored writing all of the same type of fanfictions.

Grammar/Chapters

You are fairly descriptive and can compose decent sentences. But, there is a fine line between description and oddness. This just means there are some over exaggerated words like in the one-shot with Jimin. When the reader comes home she describes the skin on his face as pale, almost translucent. This is a word you don't see so often, but there is a reason why. Translucent is like when you fry up onions and it you can see light through them, but not any defined shapes.

Skin does not do that. I know if it did that would mean there are some serious issues there and some medical attention is needed. You should describe it with a different word such as the flesh of an apple, or snow, or even milk. You are describing his skin as pale and pale is like white.

Your chapters are fairly short and they don't make very much sense to me, I guess because I don't know much about the band. It was rather aggravating to have to look up everyone and what a concert from them would look like. You should work on describing the surroundings, as scenery is just as important as the plot itself.

With that taken care of, I believe this brings up a previous topic once again; over-describing. Now it's good to be descriptive and - trust me - I suck at it but there is also parts where I felt it was just because you want to make the chapters longer. This is annoying in a sense but it wasn't the biggest issue. It was your use of analogies (this word took waayyyyy too long to figure out how to spell.)

Ex:

Good: Her hair was as dark as the night.

Bad: Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

These aren't real sentences in the story but one makes sense and another doesn't. If you use description correctly you can make an amazing story. Even fanfiction has the potential to be unique and brilliant.

Overall Impression

Your book has potential to be great and it will take some time to get there. You have good potential and there really isn't much to say even after reading the chapters that there were. If I was deeply into BTS, I would read this and be excited to read it. Even though I'm not,  I can tell it took time and effort to make this. I wish you luck and hope my advice is helpful to you.

Review By: Raven