≜ɮɨʟʟ ƈɨքɦɛʀ քօʋ≜

Note to self: Axolotl isn't to be trusted. I don't care that he saved me from my own 'mistake', in their words. That does not merit a switcheroo in universes.

Whatever. Whichever universe I land in, it can't be any worse than mine. With the sickeningly sweet Pines. Blergh.

Oh thank Me I landed. I open my eye. It's dark enough that I can't make out features on normal vision, except for a thin frame of light in front of me. Thank goodness for magic and demon powers that allow me to switch sights.

Heat-sight wouldn't be helpful in this scenario as it would only reveal how many beings surrounding me. The tapetum lucidum I stole from a cave might help. Just need to reach into the void to grab it.

Just as I'm about to stuff my hand into the void I hear a voice.

'Is that... Pine Tree?' I stop whatever it is I was doing to listen. It seems like Pine Tree's voice, only a little gravelier and more venomous.

"Honestly, Mabel, I don't care that you want to have your fun with it, except for the fact that we need it for our show. We can't have it weaker." The voice seemed to pause. "Yeah, I guess that would work. Ask Stanford first, however. He is the one with the actual contract so technically all choices flow through him." Contract? Oh yeah the meatsacks have their own little legal system.

"Fine, Brother. Just make sure that it isn't near dead again" That sounds like Shooting Star, except huskier. Eech. What a horrible thought. I feel bad for whatever poor schmuck is listening to that at night.

Don't really care about the thing that's dying though.

"Fine I'll check on Cipher as you ask dear Stanford."

Wait. Cipher? Pretty sure I'm not dying. Though I am an It. Fourteen Million genders in my previous previous 'home' and none of them really fit me. And then the meatsacks come up with 'Agender'. Helpful.

I digress.

I can sense not-Pine Tree getting closer to where I am. Soon enough he's opening the door- and that's what it is, a door to a glorified closet, which explains the frame of light- and staring at me.

"Well?" I, an immeasurably powerful being, is as close to stumped as I can get.

"Well what, not-Pine Tree?"

"You aren't getting ready for the show and being mouthy? Naughty, naughty, Cipher. Oh and look at that, trying a different color today? Change back immediately, I don't want you clashing backstage." If I had any doubts this wasn't Pine Tree, they were gone now. Pine Tree only cared about looks when trying to impress Ice Bag. And he never performed. At all, if he could help it. And being condensing never suited him.

"Yeah, see, how about no. I don't care about any 'backstage' performance you have, nor about conforming to meatsacks preferences. Nor do I have to listen to you. If you even want to survive the next minute, I suggest making a highly favorable deal in my favor. But hey souls are particularly delicious."

Not-Pine Tree looks like a fish. Nowhere near as hilarious as pain, but it's still funny. "Cipher, if you want to not have every bone in your body shredded, I suggest you listen. Of course, the fact that you've been mouthy twice won't spare you torture, but it might be alleviated until after the show."

"Ha, Kid, if I really cared I might even let you have an equal deal. You seem fun! But I'm not participating in a show." I narrow my eye at that last part and float to be a little taller than not- Pine Tree.

"Cipher, the deal requires you to listen to us. Now I'm going to have to get dear Sister Mable in here to remind you of that." Not-Pine Tree gives a wolf grin at that last part.

"Oh, boy! How is Shooting Star? Or since you called her your sister, I guess it's not-Shooting Star. I don't particularly recall making any other deals with you or Sixer that signs away my freedom. Last deal I made with Sixer- or I guess Fez, now that I really think about it- let me into his mind and then I had to find Axolotl. But anyway, how is that going to go down? The quantum destabilizer? Or more trickery?" I'm honestly slightly gleeful thinking about it. More chances to mess with the Pines!

Of course, not-Pine Tree looks even more confused. "Do you have schizophrenia and amnesia? You are never this outspoken. Nor do I know anything about a 'quantum destabilizer'. But Mabel should be arriving soon enough, so we should have our fun soon enough." And he is correct. I can hear not-Shooting Star running around the corner with- is that Sixer? Why is he wearing a glittery blue cape? Oh, not-Sixer. That's pretty snazzy though.

Considering it, I decide to throw my impulse control out of the window. I snap my fingers to summon my own cape.

That trivial piece of magic leaves them gaping.

"H-how? The contract isn't broken, and none of us allowed you to do magic! And the commands should have been followed by now!" Not-Sixer nearly shrieks. He sounds like a- what's the word, shrieky earth-pig... -

"GROUNDHOG" Then I realize I said that out loud. That's funny too. The interruption leaves them gawking. Not-Shooting Star flips out a knife. Where was she keeping it? Doesn't matter.

"Oh we're doing knife play? Kinky, not-Shooting Star, kinky indeed. Please, pain is hilarious. Do it!"

Not-Sixer stops not-Shooting Star from running me through.

"Mabel, Stardust, that isn't William Cipher."

That names lets a spark of recognition run around my head. Literally.

"What are you doing with my brother?"