xxxvi. thirty-six

Sophie fought a wave of déjà vu as her body reformed in front of the looming hideout. She'd never seen the outside of it before, but she was familiar with the area. She had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't in any danger with the Black Swan.

The hideout was located in a lush, bright forest glowing with light. It must have been night outside last time she was here, because the scene would've been impossible to forget. Everything gave off an aura of peace and life.

Even the forest seemed magical. All of the trees didn't grow straight up like normal—nor did they grow at an odd angle like the trees of the Crooked Forest. These trees had branches that grew like normal, but then would curve downward. Or maybe they grew out straight for a long then abruptly curve in an arc. It was all beautiful, like an intricate, natural pattern.

The leaves looked a shade brighter than normal leaves. The colour of spring grass, or emeralds. Every tree was peppered with light pink flowers. Sophie found it odd that she couldn't see a single petal on the forest floor.

The whole setting kind of reminded her of Alluveterre, but nothing could top the vibrant location of the old Black Swan hideout.

Plus, this hideout wasn't a treehouse, either. It was more like a collection of natural-coloured domes under the cover of the arching tree branches. As much as her body itched to go inside and have a better look, she forced herself to turn away from the entrance and head out into the forest.

She realized that as she walked, she took notice of landmarks or noticeable things that would help her get back; to not get lost. Her mouth quirked. She just couldn't get rid of the Neverseen training, could she?

After she'd walked so far that she couldn't see the hideout anymore, she found a low, curved tree branch to sit on. It was shaped like an bowed cradle, so she swung her legs up and leaned her back against one slope, crossing her arms over her stomach. She took deep breaths, trying to relax herself.

The forest air tasted fresher and more alive than anything she'd breathed in for a long time. She found her eyelids lowering and her neck muscles untensing.

In the forest, everything racing through her mind didn't seem so chaotic anymore. It was all easier to make sense of.

It was really nice.

"Nice, isn't it?"

Sophie's eyes shot open, although she didn't move from her position. Another thing she'd learned in the Neverseen. Act casual. Make your adversary think that they're not worth getting a reaction from you, but be on high alert to attack quickly. It had become second nature for her.

Flori was standing in front of her, hands folded, green thumbs interlocked, and a basket full of odd-looking plants at her feet.

Sophie didn't reply, just fixed her eyes on Calla's niece. She hadn't changed much since the last time Sophie had seen her. Her hair was in a braided plait interwoven with tiny green flowers.

Sophie looked down when the memory of Calla braiding her hair at night in Alluveterre resurfaced, come back to haunt her. She'd called the braid a 'tomorrow braid', and had sung and sat with Sophie when her worries got so bad they kept her up at night.

Flori lightly trod over to the tree Sophie was sitting on, not stepping on any of the tiny shrubs or plants growing on the forest floor. She sat down on a nearby branch, not uncomfortably close to Sophie, but still close enough that she could see tiny flecks on pollen dusted across Flori's green shirt.

"Something is troubling you." A tentative statement. Not a question, which Sophie was grateful for. And Flori's voice wasn't tentative in the way that made it seem like she was afraid of Sophie. More like she could tell something was plaguing Sophie, and she wanted to help, but wasn't sure what Sophie wanted.

And neither did she, if Sophie was being honest with herself. She was still trying to work apart the tangled, messy knot the thoughts in her mind was.

Sophie still didn't say anything, and Flori took that as an invitation to continue.

"After losing Calla, many of the other gnomes gathered around me and supported me. They expressed their sympathies, but I could tell that mostly, they were just thankful to Calla that she had been brave enough to make the choice she did." Flori gave a little laugh and looked down at her thumbs. "I was thankful, too. And I understood how brave she had been to do what she did. But what I felt the most was more. . . loss."

Sophie didn't see where the story was going, but she couldn't help but give it her attention, anyways. Even sitting down and talking about a sore subject, Flori was a stellar story teller. She captured her audience's attention—in this case, Sophie's.

"No matter how hard the other gnomes tried to or liked to say they did, none of them could really relate to me. Their words felt hollow, and echoed around in the hollow feeling growing inside of me. None of them understood the full scope of what I felt, and to be honest, neither did I. I didn't know if I should feel overwhelming love and pride because of what Calla did, or if I should wallow in the oceans of grief threatening to break into my heart. Should I accept the help and feelings the other gnomes were trying to express? Or should I push everyone away and work it all out myself?

"What was the right thing to do? What was the right thing to feel? Was I going about it all wrong? Would—" Flori's voice cracked— "Would Calla be proud of what I was doing?" Sophie looked down. "But. . . even then, I had all my own thoughts. All my emotions were mine. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Although our situations aren't identical, I believe there are some similarities to be found in them.

"And. . . I can do my best to help you, if you would like. I can tell you what I did. Although I still miss Calla dearly, I finally came to grip with it. I sorted through everything."

Calla's face blurred a little as she turned and beamed at Sophie. "I am so, so proud of you, Sophie. It hasn't been easy. Oh. . ." A tear rolled down her cheek. "But you're my brave little fighter. My little Moonlark." Calla's face blurred beyond recognition, and Sophie finally realized that it was because she was crying. Her cheeks were wet, tears flowing down without any plug.

"You've gotten so far," Calla—no, Flori—whispered. "Fought so much. And now you must fight even more, if you want everything that was taken from you back. It's not fair. I wish you could stop having to grit your teeth and throw yourself into every battle just to defend what's rightfully yours. But you're strong. Stronger than anyone I know." She smiled again. "If you can't do it, I don't know a single soul who could."

Sophie silently wept for a few more moments after Flori stopped talking. After a while, she said, "You looked like her."

Flori knew exactly who she was talking about. Her lip quavered, and another tear dripped down her face.

"She'd be so proud of you, you know," Sophie said. Tears threatened to spill over again, but she held them back.

Flori stood up, coming closer to Sophie until she stood sight in front of her. She reached out and wiped Sophie's cheek with her thumb. "You too," she whispered. "She'd be so proud of you, too. Her little Moonlark."

Sophie lost the battle against her tears again. They spilled over, and Flori wrapped her little arms around Sophie. They sat there and held each other for a while, crying until their eyes were both all dried up.

Flori smiled and gave a little laugh. "You really should get some rest. I heard from Elwin that you're still recovering from your reaction."

Sophie nodded, realizing that a thick fog was starting to creep in around the edges of her mind, and her eyelids were growing heavy. She probably should get some rest.

"Is it. . ." she cleared her throat. "Is it okay if I sleep out here today?" Sophie asked Flori.

The little gnome nodded. "Here, follow me. I have just the place for you."

Flori led Sophie further into the woods to a little garden filled with soft flowers and vines. Since the flowers in the clearing Flori was growing were the only flowers anywhere on the forest floor, they looked more magical then usual. They bloomed in shades of light pink to deep violet to soft turquoise the colour of a tropical sea under the sun. She spotted some dreamlilies growing on one of the hanging green vines cascading into the clearing.

"You can lay down anywhere you want," Flori said with a small smile. "This is where I normally rest when I need to replenish my energy in the sun."

Sophie tossed her head over her shoulder meeting Flori's eyes but unable to say any words. But she was sure that the look on her face said more then enough.

Sophie laid down on a soft bed on petals, brushing her hair over her shoulders.

"May I?" Flori asked, reaching for the pale strands.

Sophie nodded, closing her eyes as Flori gently plaited Sophie's hair, bringing back the feeling of laying in bed under dreamlilies in Alluveterre and all her worries melting until even the distant through of nightmares was smoothed away. . .

By the time Flori was finished, Sophie had already fallen asleep.

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