Gideon

"Today we're here to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Mystery Shack!" Grunkle Stan said. "And getting it back from the Pines!"
The crowd cheered a little bit.
"In celebration, we're throwing a party tonight!" Grunkle Stan said. "Everyone is invited!"
"And there'll be a karaoke bonanza! Lights, music, enchantment!" Pacifica squealed, and coughed up a handful of glitter. "With a special performance by Love Patrol Alpha!"
She held up a picture she drew of me, her, and Grunkle Stan in manga form in sparkly clothes and singing.
"I don't know about that." I said uncertainly.
"I would never agree to that." Grunkle Stan said.
"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!" Pacifica smiled.

Later, we were in the gift shop, helping clean up after clumsy customers, when Wendy ran in with an air horn and blew it.
"Buy a ticket, people! You know you have nothing better going on in your lives!" She said, and the crowd of customers followed her outside.
"The town loves us, we got that floral perfume scent out of the carpet. Finally, everything is going my way." Grunkle Stan leaned against the counter just as Pacifica squirted a bottle of perfume Mabel had left behind in Grunkle Stan's face.
"Ack! Never mind about that last statement." He said, coughing.
"Hey, Grunkle Stan, we've been meaning to ask for our journals back." I said.
"Oh, those!" He reached under the counter and took the two books out. "They were so boring I couldn't finish them." Grunkle Stan handed them to me and Pacifica. I took Journal #3 and she took #2.
"You're just going to give them that easily?" I asked.
"What else do you want, a kiss on the cheek?" He asked.
"I...I got to go." I pulled Pacifica away and dragged her upstairs into our room. I closed the door, pulled down the blinds, and turned around her stuffed animals. "Pacifica, we have to talk. Losing this," I pulled out Journal #3, "made me realize we're almost halfway into the summer and we still don't know some of the biggest mysteries of Gravity Falls. Like, why did Mabel nearly kill us to get this journal and #1? Who is the author? Where's Journal #1? There's something big going on."
"Cuz, we've both read it a million times. We would have found something in it at some point." Pacifica pointed out, falling into her large pile of stuffed animals. "Half of the pages are blank, remember?"
"Yeah, but I feel like something is going on. Mabel wanted this shack bad for some reason and all of the journals. We need to find out why."
"Don't worry, Ducktective is on the case!" Pacifica took out a stuffed duck wearing a detective hat like in her favorite show. The eyes had fallen off, so she had a big mess of glue and an infinite amount of googly eyes pasted all over the duck.
"You should really throw that thing out. It's creepy." I said. "Everywhere I go I swear it sees me."
"Nonsense! I'm an arts and crafts master!" Pacifica held up her creepy Ducktective in the air.
From downstairs, I heard some commotion in the gift shop. Curious, me and Pacifica went downstairs to look at it.
"Mystery Shack is closed! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Pacifica asked. "You never shut down the gift shop."
Grunkle Stan paced nervously, until there was a few knocks on the door. He took a deep breath and went to answer the door with a big smile to two serious men wearing suits, ties, and earpieces.
"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Snow globes, keychains, these rare photos of American presidents?" He took part of a twenty dollar bill out of his sleeve.
"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger. We're here to investigate mysterious reports of activity in this town."  The two agent took out I.D. cards, proving their identity.
"Mysterious activity? In a mystery shack? You gotta be joking!" Grunkle Stan started to sweat.
"I assure you not. I was born with a rare disability that makes me incapable of understanding humor." He said with a straight face. Grunkle Stan nervously laughed. "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation."
The two men entered the gift shop.
"Wait, did you guys say you were conducting an investigation of this town?" I asked.
"That information is classified, but yes." He knelt down and looked at me. "Between you and me I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're only one lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."
"I'm investigating the exact same thing!" I said. "I found this spooky journal that talks all about it! If we work together, we can crack the case!"
"If you have evidence of these claims, here is my card." He took a card out of his pocket and handed it to me.
"W-we can talk right now! Please, c-come in!" I said, excitedly. Finally, maybe with these agents, I could break some big mysteries.
"Hehe, I'm sorry agents, the kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a swearing problem." Grunkle Stan stepped near us. I could hear Pacifica snort as she stifled a giggle. "Paranormal stuff is just gift shop lore to sell more merchandise, you know?"
Grunkle Stab snapped his fingers, and Wendy came over with bumper stickers for the Mystery Shack and antennae, and stick them on them.
"Swag!" She said.
"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Agent Powers said, as he and Agent Trigger turned around to leave.
"I'm confiscating this as evidence." Agent Trigger took an armful of bobble heads as he left.
"No, wait!" I tried to run after them, but Grunkle Stan grabbed my shirt.
"Woah, woah, kid, the last thing you want at a party is the cops." Grunkle Stan turned me around. "Give me that card."
"Fine." I handed it to him reluctantly.
"Now how about you be a normal kid. Flirt with a girl or steal a pie off a windowsill." Grunkle Stan put the card in his pocket.
"But you don't understand!" I exclaimed.
"And don't go talking to those agents." Grunkle Stan turned around to exit the gift shop.
"Ugh, that could have been my big break!" I sighed.
"Gideon, do you really want cops to take away that journal and study everything in the forest down to the molecular level? Seriously, they could ruin the rest of our summer's magical adventures." Pacifica said.
"You just don't want them to take away your boyfriend's amulet." I said.
"Grunkle Stan is right. You can't go one day without raising the dead or searching for aliens."
"I'm not going to raise the dead." I sighed. "I just need to show those agents my book!"
"The only book you need is right here." Pacifica took out a karaoke book and handed it to me. "I say kara, you said oke! Kara!"
I didn't answer.
"Kara!"
Still silent.
"I could do this all day."