Requested by @Potterfan249 and honestly I think this is absolutely hilarious and cute. I'll give ya a synopsis of the oneshot as a whole:
After several years of awkward pining and mutual feelings being pushed aside, Dipper and Pacifica actually decide to try out dating but they're really bad at it and it causes numerous awkward moments for all. Until they realize, of course, that they should just continue doing what they've always done.
Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy! Alternate title: the five times it's awkward and the one time they get it right.

I.

Dipper was in the process of trying to figure out how things looked in the future. Specifically, his and Paz's future.

After years and years of pining, slow-burning, and dancing around each other day and night, they finally figured out where they stood. And took it a step further.

However, the two continued to dance around each other, despite being in a relationship with one another. It made for plenty of awkward moments for them and those around them.

Banter, for one thing, proved to be an increasing difficulty.

Dipper was never one to shy away from showing off his verbal talents so when it happened, he wasn't the only one entirely shocked.

He and Mabel had run into Gideon Pines and Dipper's girlfriend (wow that would take time before it sunk in) Pacifica.

"Well hello you two." Mabel waved at the two, heading over to their booth, letting Dipper follow. "I'm not surprised to see you two here."

"Well, it is our typically place to hang out." Gideon offered.

"Dipper?" Mabel turned to regard her brother. "Are you going to say hello, or do I have to become your interpreter?"

Dipper shook his head. "No, of course not."

"Mind if we join you guys?" Mabel asked sweetly.

Gideon nodded, scooting over so Mabel could sit down next to him, being nice to his cousin so she could sit next to her boyfriend. That was certainly a mistake.

Dipper sat down next to Pacifica. "Good morning."

She gave him a light wave and then the two lapsed into uncomfortable silence. The silence was so loud that it echoed across the entire diner.

Pacifica cleared her throat. "Eheh, how are you, Dipper?"

He nodded in a continuous loop. "Good."

Pacifica froze. A one worded reply? That wasn't right. Did he regret everything they said the night before?

"How did you sleep?" He turned to her and asked.

It was the stupidest question he could've asked. It sounded so unlike him. He could've phrased it so much better, but he found that he couldn't.

Gideon blanched across from Pacifica. "Geez, okay, you two, if you wanted privacy you just had to tell us. You didn't need to throw up this display of pure awkwardness to get us to leave."

Without so much as another word Gideon and Mabel rose from their seats and left the diner.

Pacifica looked at Dipper once more. "Is that what you were doing? Trying to get them to leave?"

"Oh God, I hope so." Dipper's face reddened and he sunk further in his seat.

2.

Dipper believed that something as simple and commonplace as kissing would be exactly that; simple.

However he was proved wrong the moment the two were alone.

He sat down next to Pacifica as she was reading through several pages of the journal. Despite their continuous work, the creature they were searching for kept evading their grasp.

"Hey, Paz," he smiled at her, at least he managed to get his verbal talents in place.

"Dipper, I'm a little busy right now." She grumbled, turning the page the violently that he was certain she would rip it right out.

"Rough day?" He cocked a brow. He immediately grimaced because of idiotic it sounded.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, exasperatedly. "No matter what we do, it's still stealing."

Dipper nodded. "I understand, however, you need to take a break to breathe. Otherwise you'll become worked up for nothing. And that won't solve our problem, will it?"

"You're right." She agreed reluctantly. "But not when I'm this close to figuring it out!"

"Pazzie." He tried to sound more annoyed than pleading. However his voice went with the latter on that one.

"Alright." She held up her hands, "okay."

This was it. Dipper realized that it would be perfect to keep her mind off the creature and the damned book.

He leaned in to kiss her lips. . .just as she turned her head to kiss his cheek.

Their heads collided against each other with wicked crack.

"OW!"

"DAMNIT."

Pacifica rubbed the area of her head where it hit Dipper's. "What the hell was that?"

"I was trying to relax you!"

"By hitting my head with yours?!"

"No! By kissing you! What the hell were you doing?!"

"I was going to kiss your cheek!"

Both groaned and rubbed their heads, wincing all the way.

"Well, shit." Dipper chuckled, "why are we bad at this?"

"I honestly dunno." Pacifica sighed, and in tow, she kissed his cheek.

Dipper smiled happily for a second before he realized how much his head actually hurt.

"Well fu—"

3.

As typical and trite as going to the movies for a date was, Dipper figured it would be the best for them.

For the past two days, he had no idea what was going on. For starters, he felt like he couldn't talk to Pacifica.

They both hardly knew what to say or how to act around each other. He was growing increasingly frustrated with it all.

To try to relax their relationship and figure out where they stood, he sent Pacifica a text inviting her to see a recently released movie.

Nothing could go wrong.

Nothing would go wrong, he carefully amended.

"I'm glad we're away for awhile." Pacifica relaxed in her seat, eyes on the screen rather than Dipper.

Did she know something was off, too?

"You're not really away." Gideon commented from the row behind them. "Why'd you have to pick this theatre at this time and this movie?"

"Because I knew Paz would like it." Dipper stated quite cautiously.

"Yeah, and I would too." Mabel snorted. "Please, let's just pretend that neither of us are here, and hopefully we can watch this movie in peace."

Halfway through the film, Dipper wanted to put his arm around Pacifica, like he'd seen in movies and that he'd done to her even before they started dating.

Unfortunately, this idea wasn't lost upon the people sitting behind them.

So when Dipper pretended to stretch, Mabel glanced at Gideon with annoyance. "Oh my god, he's actually pulling that trick?"

Gideon watched with careful eyes as the act was being performed. "Yikes, and I thought Dipper was a ladies man!"

As soon as Dipper's arm settled around Pacifica, Gideon made a sound that was quite comparable to dry-heaving.

Mabel wrinkled her nose. "Wow, I didn't know I could cringe this much."

Dipper turned around and scowled at his sister. "Could you two be quiet, please?"

"Stop being so awkward!" Gideon rose from his chair and tossed his popcorn bucket at Dipper's head.

4.

Dipper had texted Pacifica countless times in the past. Whether the texts were serious, or flirtatious, they were skillfully organized.

They could sometimes be mysterious or straight to the point.

If it could be pinpointed to a perfect point where everything went to shit's creek, it would've been the 'hi' he sent one afternoon.

Even after he sent it, Dipper slammed his head into his pillow and let out a groan. Why was he so bad at this?

Is it because you actually care what this girl thinks about you? His brain argued.

Damn. First his words worked against him, then his vision of kissing went against him, thirdly it was his romantic gestures, and now even his brain was working against him?

What the hell was happening to him and Pacifica?

Dipper shook his head and tried to chalk it up to it only being the fourth day of their newfound relationship.

After all, it was slightly new territory for the two. Sure, they had flirted a lot beforehand, and even kissed a few times, but now they were in an actual definable relationship.

Even after an intense pondering session, he'd forgotten that he sent an awkward text to his girlfriend.

Pazzie❤️💍: um, hi? 😂

Dipper felt sweat form on his forehead. What the hell was he doing? He was Dipper Alex Gleeful; ladies man and handsome extraordinaire! He could handle a text-based conversation with Pacifica.

Right?

He glanced down at his phone. Well shit, now what did he say? How in the world could he possibly be blanking on what to say?

Me: I was hoping we could see each other again. I really enjoy spending time with you.

How textbook was that? Dipper knew he was known for his mysterious and quite alluring texts that made every girl he ever knew swoon and blush.

He didn't have too much time to consider, because Pacifica had already replied. Oh boy.

Pazzie❤️💍: yeah, I liked spending time with you too!

Why did the conversation seem forced? Dipper visibly shuddered and tried to keep a leveled head. He had to fix this.

5.

Dipper decided that going out on a date with Pacifica would be the best idea. He lost several hours of sleep trying to come up with good ideas.

That was the best one.

However, even though he hated to admit it out loud, he needed help.

Luckily for Dipper (or perhaps unluckily), both Mabel and Gideon agreed to be his love coach for the evening.

Although they were also confused as to what was happening, and could hardly stand the two being together due to its extreme awkwardness.

"Okay, why is there even a problem to begin with?" Gideon rubbed his eyelids, as if he were exhausted by the entire affair.

"I dunno!" Dipper exclaimed before Pacifica even arrived. "I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell is happening."

"Yeah," Mabel murmured, eating a fry off her plate. "I can see the smoke coming out of your ears."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "I'm serious Mabel! I've truly been thinking."

"Oh, well don't try to hard, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." Gideon patted Dipper's shoulder, earning himself the most terrifying glare in existence.

"There's Paz!" Mabel pointed to the door. "Go get her, lover boy!"

Dipper winced and made his way over to Pacifica. "Hey," he said, losing every bit of confidence that he'd tried to work up.

Pacifica hardly seemed to notice, or if she did, she didn't mention it. "Hey."

They stood there for a moment or two, hands in pockets. Dipper swayed on his feet, trying to think of something else to say.

Luckily, he didn't have to.

"GEEZ YOU TWO, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS?!" Gideon yelled, causing quite a reaction from other restaurant patrons.

"What?" Pacifica asked.

"Come on, you two. I dunno what the hell is up with this, but you guys are acting like you dunno each other. You've both loved each other for years, why is it any different now?!" Gideon groaned, slamming his head on the table he was sitting at.

Before either of the 'love-birds' could respond, Mabel dragged Gideon out of the restaurant, muttering angrily to themselves.

And 1.

Dipper requested that Pacifica meet him on the old Reverse Falls bridge. They had been together for a week and nothing was going right.

And Dipper desperately wanted it to work. He'd never felt that way about anyone he'd ever been. Pacifica was the perfect girl for him.

She understood him when others rendered him cold and isolated.

He loved her and cared about what she thought of him.

"Hey, Dipper." Pacifica walked up to him on the bridge.

"Pacifica, thank you for meeting me here." He leaned against the railing and tried to conjure up the right words to say.

"I'm a little nervous, I have to admit." Pacifica chuckled sheepishly.

"You don't think I invited you here to break up with you, right?" Dipper opted against beating around the bush.

"No!" She exclaimed, and then leaned against the railing. "Yes?"

Dipper groaned and placed his head in his hands. "God, no. I don't want to break up with you. I actually want to be with you. I desperately want to make this work between us because I feel that we've wasted too much time dancing around each other!"

Pacifica went silent for a moment, considering what Dipper just told her.

Did he say the wrong thing?!

"I mean, if you think about it, we weren't really wasting our time." Pacifica whispered. "I mean, it was like we already dating before we even started." She laughed lightly, "heh, I guess Mabel and Gideon were right."

Dipper nodded, reflecting on what Pacifica had just said. Then it hit him.

"Wait, say that again!"

Pacifica gave him a quizzical look. "Like, the whole thing? Because that was kind of a lot—"

"No, just the last part." Dipper explained.

"I guess Mabel and Gideon were right?" She raised a brow.

"Before that."

"It was like we were already dating before we even started?"

"THAT'S IT!" Dipper bellowed, eyes alight. He grabbed Pacifica's hands in his. "That's why this feels so wrong!"

"What?"

"We've just been pushing it." Dipper started off. "When we really should just go back to how we were before, but with less sarcasm and scorn."

"We should just go back to how we acted before." Pacifica nodded. "You're right! By God, we really were pushing this."

"We all knew I've loved you since junior high." Dipper rubbed the back of neck.

"So, a fresh start by going back to the old start?" Pacifica held Dipper's hands tighter.

"I couldn't agree more, sweetheart." Dipper smiled and pulled Pacifica in for a kiss.

One that didn't end with them bumping heads.

____________

Holy cow, another long one! Sorry that it's so extensive, I figured it would flow better. I've always written RevDipcifica as the cutest and most romantic relationship on the planet, but writing all their awkward moments was actually hilarious and cringey and cute in its own way! Request more. Stay safe out there and keep smiling my lovelies!

-Kaori Miyazono <3