Chapter Ten

I woke feeling leaden and oppressed by darkness.

My muscles felt rubbery, my body heavy and weak. Something was covering my eyes, I could feel it. There was a mild sting in the backs of my eyes as well. I could hear the faint sounds of machines beeping and whirring. The soft sound of traditional Japanese music seemed out of place among all the sounds of machinery. I moved my hands just a bit, though they were just so heavy, and I could feel something around my wrists, padded and tight. I shifted my foot, which was thankfully free, but I couldn't do much with it aside from moving it up against the cushions beneath me before it slid back down into place.

"Excellent," came a voice from somewhere across the room, and the music turned down a tad, followed by the sound of footsteps moving toward me, "You're awake. I was a bit worried that perhaps I'd injected too much of my serum. That would've been incredibly disappointing." It took me several moments to recognize the voice as Tenjin's. I searched the darkness of whatever was over my eyes. I sought control, despite the mild panic tightening my chest. I wasn't going to let on that I was freaked the fuck out by my lack of sight.

"Don't worry," Tenjin said, moving somewhere to my side and adjusting something that clicked and hissed, "You're not blind. I simply had to get in there and see what made them work the way they do. This kind of gift is... incredibly rare. Or at least, it was. Until you bestowed the gift upon my least favorite group of people." I felt a small twinge of amusement that I'd managed to irritate him, but there was an overwhelming sense of violation that he knew that. I didn't let on that it bothered me, however, and simply laid there, forcing calm.

"The gift was given to those who would use it wisely," I responded coolly. Tenjin scoffed.

"And Hades in your eyes is someone who uses it wisely?"

"Yes."

"That's all? No explanation?"

"I have no need to explain the actions of another. I know I chose the right person to carry on the legacy."

"You put great confidence in a male who's killed thousands and destroyed millions."

"What's the saying? You can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs?" I asked. Tenjin laughed.

"You are amusing, I will give you that, demon," he replied, continuing his movements around me, "I wonder what Hades would say if he found out about your gift."

"There is no reason for him to know."

"I'd heard he spent quite a few centuries trying to research the ability and never found it. I would think he'd find it very fascinating."

"I don't think so. He has more important things to worry about. Like the fate of the universe."

"No thanks to you," Tenjin said smoothly, "You gifted him the power of a hero, did you not? As the Fates have done to many others. That power in itself is rather rare as well. Very few have been blessed to be a hero."

"It wasn't a blessing," I said flatly, "It's a curse."

"I suppose so," Tenjin murmured. I frowned, listening to him move around. A moment later, I felt him messing with something over my eyes, lifting them away. Bright lights assaulted my eyes and I grimaced, blinking rapidly against the offensive lights. It took a moment before my vision cleared and I watched Tenjin unstrap my wrists from the chair. I frowned, rubbing at my wrists as he stepped back, picking up a large stack of papers to thumb through.

"I believe I have received as much as I could for now," he said, more to himself than me.

"You got inside my head," I said, sitting up and moving my legs over the side of the seat. Tenjin looked up.

"Something tells me, were I to ask you questions, you would not have answered. I didn't want to take my time. Call me over excited." The twitch in his lips told me he probably would've knocked me out either way. Logically, it made sense. That didn't change the fact that I was irritated.

"And Yiuwa?" I asked. Tenjin smiled.

"I already did the tests on him while you were out. See? Not so bad."

"Yeah. Sure." I stood up, feeling a bit wobbly at first before I found my balance. Tenjin handed me my clothing back and I changed before Tenjin led me to the laboratory again, where Yiuwa, Tsukuyomi, and Sin were already waiting. Tsukuyomi was glancing at Sin, who kept his eyes on the floor, his body hunched over and his arms wrapped around himself in obvious discomfort. And the moment Yiuwa saw me, his yellow eyes seemed to light up and he ran to me, grabbing me in an embrace that nearly tore me off my feet. I grimaced at that, pushing against his chest.

"I'm fine, let go of me," I told him. Yiuwa stepped back, reaching up to brush the hair back from my face, studying me intently.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, and stop touching me."

"Now, how about those tablets," Tenjin said, coming into the room behind me. Yiuwa glared at him, moving to put his arm around my waist again, but I sidestepped him and nodded to Tenjin, who just smirked before he left the laboratory and the rest of us followed. As we walked, Yiuwa continued to walk close to me, and his eyes kept diverting to Sin, who would glare at him, then nervously look away. There was tension there and obviously it stemmed from Sin's misshapen Beast curse. Something told me Hades was going to want to get his hands on the kid to.

We followed Tenjin through a series of hallways before we got to a massive library. Rows upon rows of shelves containing books, scrolls, tablets, and other works packed tightly together, all neatly organized. In the center of the library was a simple low set table with cushions on the floor for seating. Tenjin looked around for a moment, then went to one of the rows. The shelves stood high over his head. Were they to fall, he'd be smashed like a bug under a flyswatter. And it was a miracle said shelves didn't fall when Tenjin pulled a rickety ladder out and shoved it against the shelves.

He climbed up to the top shelf and did some shuffling among the heavy ancient tablets there that were encased in some kind of glass. He appeared to find what he was looking for and came back down, coming over to the lone table and placing the tablets down carefully.

"You have five hours," Tenjin stated, making us glare at him and he gave us a droll stare, "For right now. Tomorrow when you return for further testing, then you can have more time to look at them."

"Fine," I agreed. Tenjin brightened at that, then yawned a little and waved at us.

"Do what you will then. I'm going to nap. I'm exhausted," he said, turning and heading out of the library. Although, a few cameras mounted on the walls in the library revealed he would still be watching over us to ensure we used our time wisely.

So as no to waste it, we sat down and got to work. As we studied the tablets, Tsukuyomi kept Sin close to his side. Sin didn't appear to understand what was going on and had no idea how to read the tablets, so he just eyed the clock and the cameras with the nerves of a chihuahua at the vet's.

"This is incredibly difficult to decipher," Yiuwa admitted under his breath, making me glance at him from the tablet I'd been studying, "This language is... Unlike our own."

"How so?"

"It requires sounds that we cannot physically make due to our physiology. The language that's written here is incredibly complex. Our language... It is various sounds that come together to create another sound that holds meaning. But this here is very specific. A certain sound only means one thing, not others."

"So... Like they're, there, and their," I suggested, and Yiuwa nodded slowly.

"A bit smaller," he said, making me frown, "Those words sound similar. They use a combination of different sounds that can still sound the same. This language does not have that. They have sounds that each have their own distinct meaning. So, for example..." He studied the tablet, then looked at me and made a click noise, then made a slightly different click noise, all made with his tongue, then another set of clicks made at the back of his throat.

"Those all have different meanings, despite the similar sounds they make," he explained, "But, they are very specific. I believe this sound here means to fly, but this sound here means to breath."

"And this sound?"

"I don't have the makeup to make it," Yiuwa admitted grimly, "It's a sound that could be made if our throats were smaller, narrower. And if we make it incorrectly, it could mean a completely different thing."

"This sounds complicated," Tsukuyomi murmured, looking at the tablets. Yiuwa nodded.

"This is going to be much harder than simply singing and making the Shifter go away, as a lullaby would make a child's nightmare fade. This must be a completely accurate pronunciation of a language we can't pronounce physically," he muttered, rubbing at his temples. He looked up at me and I stared back, feeling a swell of despair that I fought to reveal.

Of course that was the case, because why not? It wasn't going to be easy to defeat one of the most evil and ancient creatures in the universe. At the same time, I felt some of my hope dwindle away. My breath caught and I briefly wondered... shit, please tell me this had nothing to do with my curse.

Was staying here, with Yiuwa, with everyone who was fighting the curse that dangerous?

I said nothing as we continued to look through the tablets, but came up empty handed.

In no time, five hours was up and Tenjin was back to take the tablets from us, sending us out of his home. Tsukuyomi took us home for dinner, because clearly taking Sin was not a good idea. Thankfully, though, Tenjin understood the dress requirements of the realm and gave Sin a yukata to wear, that barely contained all of the male's muscle mass. He basically had to struggle to keep it shut around himself and he refused to wear the shoes, so he walked barefoot behind us, his head down, eyes on the ground.

There was really no gratefulness coming from Sin. He simply appeared defeat, like he was accepting the fact that he'd been given a new place to stay, knowing full well he wasn't exactly free; just under new ownership, as Tenjin had put it. And the malice he felt toward Yiuwa, and vice versa, did not stop, even when we arrived back at Tsukuyomi's place, where he departed to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

I went upstairs to change into something more sedate, and damn it to hell, Yiuwa followed me up the stairs. I said nothing as I walked into the room, feeling Yiuwa right behind me, listening to him close the door. And for some stupid reason, the sound of the door rattling shut behind us made my heart leap, and my cock twitch. Looking at the disheveled futon on the floor immediately reminded me of what we'd done the night before, of his hands on my body, his lips against mine, his body connected to me.

I felt Yiuwa's hot breath on the back of my neck.

"Don't touch me," I said, but the catch in my voice betrayed the arousal burning beneath the surface, and Yiuwa felt it too. His breath on my skin gave me chills, and I felt his hands slide up my arms, fingers toying with the hem of the robe's sleeves, slipping under to graze my skin.

"Rowan. I need to check you," he murmured. I felt confusion at his words, but couldn't express anything, because my tongue was tied as his fingers moved around, gripped the obi around my waist and slowly tugged the stiff material out of place. I watched it slip to the floor and curl up neatly, watching the lapels of the robe fall open. His hands sought the belt on the inside, yanked it free, and let it drop. I watched it go, knowing full well that I had to stop this.

This was so dangerous.

I never slept with anyone twice.

Never.

It was just too close.

Simon was already in danger, I knew that. And if Yiuwa had his way, he would be too.

But damn it, fucking hell, I couldn't bring my voice to the surface. I couldn't sort my rational thoughts into proper words, couldn't bring myself to pull away.

The futility of the afternoon spent slaving over those fucking tablets. Tenjin revealing his experiments. His battery of tests that scrambled up my head and tore open old wounds. All of it was so much to deal with. I couldn't handle it. The guilt came in wave after wave, crashing over my head and suffocating me again.

Guilt because this could all be my fault, again.

Guilt over what I'd done to Petros, what I'd done to Hades, and to everyone else I'd come in contact with. It was choking me up and I didn't want to look at it. I didn't want to look at all the lives I'd destroyed.

So when Yiuwa pulled open the robes, put his hands inside to stroke my chest, I couldn't say no, because I needed it. I needed to pretend that everything wasn't going to hell because of me. I just needed to pretend to be normal. Two was fine. Two nights was all.

Yiuwa spun me around and hauled me up against him. I gasped as he slammed my chest against his, one hand locking at the small of my back, the other coming up to cup the back of my head. I felt cradled in his muscular arms, felt protected for the first time in my fucking life. He looked down at me with an intensity that made my insides melt. I couldn't fucking help it, I moaned. Just the heat in those yellow eyes melted me and I couldn't take it. I rubbed up against him, felt his cock grind between my legs, and I purred at the sensation. Yiuwa growled and tightened his grip in my hair, yanking my head back hard, and fuck I loved that possessive grasp he had on me. I loved the way he jammed his leg between mine, kneading at my balls, my cock riding along.

He reached behind him, clicked the lock in place, then shoved me back down onto the futon. I let myself fall, stared up, watching as Yiuwa undid the belts of his robing, let that heavy material slide off him and pile onto the floor. My breath hitched, my cock throbbed, my legs opened of their own volition. I sank back as Yiuwa lowered himself down on top of me.

"Why are you doing this?" Yiuwa demanded as he propped himself above me. I swallowed.

"Don't talk to me," I responded, my voice cracking. Yiuwa narrowed his eyes.

"You are mine."

"I am not."

"You are." His insistence set my blood on fire, and I moaned, arching my back, reaching up to grab at his arms, pulling him down to me. His mouth fell upon mine and he kissed me with a deep hungry passion. He grabbed my head, forced me to hold still, kissing me until I was breathless. He pulled his lips away and I panted, my lips swollen.

He swiped his thumb across my bottom lip for a moment, back and forth, back and forth, before trailing it down to the mark on my throat. And, was it just me, or was the area where that mark was incredibly sensitive all of a sudden? It felt almost like he was stroking the core of my soul, and I whimpered low in my throat.

"This mark is mine," he murmured, making me pant desperately, sliding my legs up his thighs to settle around his waist, "This body is mine. This soul is mine."

"I can't--"

"You can and you will," Yiuwa responded in a low, growling voice, and holy fuck, I felt like I could cum just listening to him talk like that, "And I am yours. My soul. My body. My everything is yours, Rowan."

"No," I moaned, turning my head away. Yiuwa's yellow eyes flashed. He went from stroking my skin to hauling himself backwards, sitting on his knees. I stared at him and he stared back for a split second before his eyes darkened. He grabbed me and flipped me over, slamming my face against the pillow. I gasped, then grunted as he sank his fingernails into my hips, yanking me up and shoving the robes out of the way. I felt them fall in a puddle around my shoulders.

A second later, Yiuwa was inside me. I bit down on the pillow to stifle my scream at the invasion. No, it wasn't an invasion. An invasion was unwanted. This...

I wanted to hate it. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to tell him to get away.

And I should've-- Goddamn it, I should've told him to get away.

But I couldn't.

The lie was buried. For the first time in a long time, the truth surfaced and I wanted to cry, but only managed muffled moans and groans, biting down on the pillow as Yiuwa began to pump himself in and out of my body. The sound of his skin slapping mine, the robes shuffling and rustling, Yiuwa's deep guttural moans and growls. He ran his hand down from the small of my back, rode along my spine and left goosebumps in his wake. His hand clamped on the back of my neck, and fuck, gods, fuck me, feeling him pin me down like that, feeling him take control, it was driving me up the walls.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to push back against him.

It was what Simon liked to call our inner slut.

When the passion, the drive, became so much that we were left a moaning pissing puddle of utter humiliation and pleasure. The sensation that drove us wild and left us wanting more. It was more addicting than any kind of drug. The feel of raw animal hunger.

And all I could manage were pathetic whimpers and moans as Yiuwa slammed himself into me, jarring me in my bones, his hand tightening around the back of my neck when I tried to lift my head. He shoved my face back down into the pillow and I moaned, drawing my hand up to cover my mouth, but Yiuwa leaned down and moved his other hand down to slap my hand away. He replaced the pillow in my mouth with his fingers and I accepted them willingly, sucking on his long tapered fingers, closing my eyes as I savored the feel of him plunging in and out in my mouth, in my ass. All of it was a vicious tingle that spread through my body.

"Were we alone," Yiuwa whispered in my ear, his husky voice giving me chills, "I would make love to you until you screamed, until you couldn't move." The threat-- no, the promise, was my undoing. I bit down on his fingers as I came. Yiuwa growled in my ear, tightened his grip on the back of my neck, and shot his hips against me, his cock kicking inside me, filling me until I felt him dripping down the inside of my thighs.

It was over in seconds.

One second, I was writhing on the bed, taking everything Yiuwa had to offer. In the next, I was laying alone on the futon as Yiuwa tore away from me and went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I laid there, staring at the sliver of light under the bathroom door, hearing the sound of the shower turning on, shampoo bottles and bars of soap hitting their places angrily.

I blinked, looking down at the pillow wet with drool. I rolled over slowly. My hips burned and my balls still tingled, as if gearing up for another round. I laid out on my back, staring up at the ceiling, a strange weight pressing down on my chest.

What would it be like if I was normal?

Would this have ended the way it did?

Or would Yiuwa have kept going? Would he continue to build these feelings he claimed he had for me? Would he hold me like this every night? What kind of a... a husband, would he be? Is that what he would be to me, a husband? Because of the mark? What did husbands do?

Would we lay in bed all day? Watch movies? I wondered if Yiuwa even enjoyed watching movies, and if so, which ones? He looked like he'd be a fan of B-horror movies. My favorites. Would he be the type to sleep in, cuddle up close? Or would he rather get out of bed early and start something to eat? Or maybe just sip coffee?

Goddamnit.

I slammed my eyes shut.

Why was I doing this to myself again? I'd already seen what my curse did. The proof was all around me. The proof was in my nightmares every night in the flames of that hellish fire. The proof was watching the male I loved take someone else into his arms and love her. And watching her and her child, watching him, burn to death.

This was why I was alone, I reminded myself sternly. Yiuwa was already adored by everyone he met. Theo saw Yiuwa as another brother, another member of his family. And I'd already fucked up that family beyond recognition. I didn't dare break another of their hearts'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ruined them any further.

With that thought in mind, I sat up and cleaned up the mess. I changed into a yukata and went downstairs to avoid running into Yiuwa. I came around the corner, then froze to see Sin standing there, frowning at me. I stared back at him.

"You smell like sex," he stated. I arched a brow. Wow, he was subtle, wasn't he?

"Thank you," I answered. His brows came down hard in clear disapproval. His eyes swept me from head to toe, then he glanced up the stairs, then back at me.

"Are you alright?" He asked. It made sense he was concerned. He hadn't had a very good introduction to sex. Unfortunately, I wasn't his teacher and I didn't plan to be. As attractive as he was, I already had a beast to deal with. And then there was the fact that Tsukuyomi had been eyeing him the moment we'd rescued him.

"I'm fine," I answered dryly, "And it's none of your business. Is Tsukuyomi still in the kitchen?" Sin cocked his head.

"The what?" He asked. I frowned.

"The kitchen."

"You mean the room with the food?"

"... Yeah. That one."

"Then yes," Sin replied. I inclined my head and headed to the kitchen. The kitchen was a bit more on the modern side with stainless steel industrial appliances and countertops. The flooring was made of sleek wood before a pair of opened sliding doors revealed a bamboo flooring with sleek modern furniture and a low set table that had already been set.

Tsukuyomi himself appeared to have changed out of his yukata and was wearing a far more modern button up shirt and lounge pants. He was slicing away at some daikon before dropping it into a large pot.

"You know how to cook," I commented in surprise. Tsukuyomi looked up, then nodded as he looked back down at his work. His technique was incredible, very professional, and way more than just knowing how to cook. His skill would impress even Gordon Ramsay.

"I am a god. I need to know a lot of things," he answered simply. Yeah. Sure.

"So, are you prepared to take Sin into your home?" I asked. Tsukuyomi blinked, but didn't look up at me. He appeared caught off guard by my question, and he sliced a daikon awkwardly. He frowned and threw it away, starting over again.

"I have had guests in my home before."

"Guests who suffer from severe PTSD and a Beast curse gone wrong?" I asked. Tsukuyomi grimaced at that. He set his knife down now, rinsed his hands off and dried them on a cloth by the refrigerator.

"At least he is no longer in the hands of a mad god," he said as calmly as he could, making me arch a brow.

"True... But this might be more dangerous for him than staying there."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sin appears to only know what it's like to live in captivity. Tenjin's to be specific. He will feel out of his element here. He clearly hasn't seen much of the modern world considering he had no idea that this room was called a kitchen," I pointed out. Tsukuyomi averted his eyes, worrying at his bottom lip. He clearly wasn't sure what to do with someone like Sin, and while saving Sin had been quite noble, he clearly hadn't thought this through enough. I'd seen thousands of people like Sin during my lifetime. Broken. Shattered. Hopeless.

Getting him to a state that one would call normal would be... well, impossible. Or at least, incredibly difficult, especially if Tsukuyomi hadn't dealt with it before.

"I'm no fool," Tsukuyomi said after a long while, making me look at him curiously as he leaned back on the counter, gripping it with his fists, "I have seen what trauma does to someone... You forget, I spent an entire month with Hades, and no one knows trauma like he does." I frowned, but said nothing, didn't ask for details, didn't need nor want to know them.

Tsukuyomi stared at the floor before looking up.

"It's hard to break through a veil of darkness," he said softly, "I wasn't strong enough to help Hades. I clearly wasn't the one to help him. Lucifer was... But I can help Sin. I know it. I can feel it. Something is telling me to be there for him, and that is what I will do. Even if it is hard, even if I don't quite understand what to do. Long ago, I made the mistake of not listening to my inner feelings and I paid for that mistake dearly. But this is my chance to do something."

"Just don't use Sin as your retribution," I answered quietly and Tsukuyomi nodded, "Because it could hurt him more than help him. He's a person too. With feelings and a broken heart, a tired soul."

"I know," Tsukuyomi said. And I believed that. I believed he wanted to help Sin, to do everything he could for him.

And as I turned to watch Sin come into the kitchen, looking around curiously at all the devices from the microwave to the oven to the eight burner stove, I watched Tsukuyomi watch him. Tsukuyomi's silver eyes filled with hope, his features brightened for the first time since I'd arrived in Yomi. He went to Sin and explained each of the devices, how they worked, and the safety rules. He was patient and gentle with Sin.

I realized, in that moment, that Tsukuyomi was right.

He was the one to help Sin.

And there was a twinge in my chest, a fiery burn, that I felt only when jealousy was present.

But for once, I wasn't jealous from a particular person with another.

I was jealous of what they had, of what they were going to have, and how right all of it was.