chapter two
reveries
[shawn mendes]
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being an 18 year old, who's madly in love with a girl who probably thinks i'm an idiot, is the best experience of my life. no, scratch that, it's the worst experience of my life. it's like every second of every day, i want to talk to her, think about her, hold her, kiss her, dance with her, sing to her, sleep with her, cuddle with her, travel with her. i want to do everything with anya, the girl who i fell in love with in my dream, but truth is, i think my love is developing for her even more, now that i'm seeing the real life her.

"good morning, how was your sleep?" i ask anya, joining her in the main room of our suite, seeing her sitting on the couch and sipping an orange juice.

"it was good, how was yours?" she responds, putting her juice down and sending me a small smile.

"it was okay," i shrug. "what time do you wanna leave today? you know, since we have a free day?"

"in about an hour?" she looks down at her watch. "are you sure you want to come with me? i can go alone, i mean, you loon pretty tired from last night."

"nonsense, i want to come. it'll give me a chance to see the city too." i smile, making her laugh and shake her head. "okay, i'm gonna go and tell andrew our plans. let's say meet in the lobby at 11 then?" i suggest, looking at my watch.

"that sounds great, see you then." i quickly grab a few of my things, before leaving our suite and making my way to andrews and geoff's suite, knocking on the door.

while i wait for either one of them to answer, i scroll through my phone, checking over my social media's to see if anything's new. the only things i see are my fans still freaking out over anya and i, and the odd annoying hate comment to anya. i can't really say i wasn't expecting the hate to come in, i mean, after all, every single girl i'm involved with gets some sort of slut-shaming hate from my fans, even if there isn't anything romantic going on between us. lauren had to take her social media down for a brief point when it got too bad. i just hope it doesn't get bad for anya, she doesn't deserve it.

"hey shawn, what are you doing here?" geoff answers, making me chuckle and shake my head.

"can i come in?" geoff nods, letting me into the suite, where i see andrew sitting at one of the desks, typing things away on his computer. "morning gerty."

"morning shawn, want to do anything today?"

"yeah, anya and i are going out to sightsee later, kind of like a bonding thing. we probably won't be back until early evening, is that okay?" i ask, biting my lower lip.

"as long as you don't get lost, that's fine with me." he chuckles. "i'm glad to see you two getting along."

"oh andrew, you don't even know the half of it." geoff chuckles, flopping down onto one of the couches. andrew looks up from his computer confused, and i let out a deep sigh, leaning against the table behind me.

"remember when i passed out for like 17 hours? i had a dream, a very weird one of sorts, but it literally felt so lifelike. i fell in love with anya, we got married, had a child, and in probably one of the darkest stages of my dream relationship, i woke up again." i explain. "i don't understand what happened, i was 26, and now i'm 18? i got tattoos, i felt the pain of them! i remember so vividly about putting a ring on anya's finger, it felt so real." i let out a small sigh. "i felt both hers and my emotions, i felt her emotional pain, her physical pain, andrew, it was genuinely the best and worst dream i've ever had. we traveled too! the amount of places we went to, which looked exactly like what they look like in real life was crazy, and andrew, a baby! i remember holding my child, i remember feeding my child, i remember changing her diaper, and now that's all gone. it was just a dream."

"you're in love with her? how shawn, you don't even know her?" andrew asks me, making me let out a frustrated groan.

"i think we just established why i'm in love with her - in that dream i unlocked so many different depths of love. as soon as we've gotten back from events and things recently, i've stayed up writing. my brain is overflowing with emotions right now, i don't even know how to comprehend it." i explain.

"what are you gonna do about it?" andrew asks me, concerned deeply. i sigh once more, running a hand through my curls.

"i don't know." i mumble. "what i know is that i'm going to try to spend as much time as i can to get to know her, and hopefully, i can make her fall in love with me as much as i am with her." i look up from the floor, feeling my eyes tear up. "i married her, i proposed to her twice too."

"i mean, you never know, the real anya might be completely different to the dream anya." geoff says to me. "that way, you might lose your love to her."

"that's going to be pretty difficult." i groan. "because i think the real anya is pretty similar to my dream anya." the two of them look down, the three of us letting out a breath simultaneously. "it's getting closer to 11, i have to go." i say, looking at my watch. "you know where i am, we'll be back at around 5ish."

"okay that's good, so then we can all go out to dinner as soon as you guys get back." andrew says to me. "have a good day, shawn. i hope today's a little easy on you."

"i hope so too." i mumble, walking to the door, bidding my final goodbyes, and exiting the suite, heading straight for the lift which will bring me down to the base floor.

the elevator dings open, making my legs take me out of the elevator, walking straight towards the main reception. i freeze almost immediately as soon as i see anya, with a mysterious brunette, who's obviously making her laugh uncomfortably, and feel a little awkward. oh no. i take long strides forward, taking a jump, and wrapping my arms around her waist, surprising her.

"hey babe, ready to go?" i ask quietly, playing the role of her boyfriend.

"oh, yeah, come on, let's go." she says, pushing herself away from this random guy, letting me look at him with a glare.

"talk to her again and i'll make sure that you'll never see the sun shine again." he gulps at me, and rushes away, making me smile triumphantly, before walking towards anya. "ready?" i ask her, as she nods, turning her head towards the window. i see a long line of fans and i sigh deeply. "we're gonna have to act as soon as we get out."

"that's okay, are you gonna stop for pictures?" she asks me, knitting her fingers with mine. i feel my breath catch at my throat, as i let out a series of coughs. "woah, are you okay?" she asks me, letting go of my hand and patting my back.

"y-yeah, i'm uh, i'm fine." i cough once more, before she nods, grabbing onto my hand again. i feel a sudden warmth consume me, and it's like i'm back in my dream, walking around with anya as my wife, her small hand linked with mine. "let's go."
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anya stands at the edge of the bridge, her camera in her hands as she snaps away at a few scenes around. i admire her, folding my arms and gazing at her in awe. how can i be so hypnotised by someone who probably doesn't even like me?

"let me take a picture of you!" anya squeals, turning away from the scene she was looking at, and staring straight at me.

"oh, no," i blush in embarrassment, looking at her with a chuckle.

"oh please? only one? come on, the light is hitting you perfectly! please?" i sigh, dropping my shoulders and giving into her. "okay, pretend i'm not here." that's going to be pretty difficult.

i chuckle, shaking my head and looking away from her, looking over the bridge. i hear her take a few pictures and gasp excitedly.

"these are gonna turn out great! come on, let's keep walking." she slings her camera around her neck, grasping onto my hand and pulling me further away. "oh my god, the globe theatre! can we go there and take some pictures?"

"whatever you want," i laugh, following her in the direction of the theatre. we get there in about a five minutes walk, anya excited and desperate to keep exploring.

"oh my god, shawn, they're showing romeo and juliet!" she exclaims, looking at the box office and the queue of people lining up. i look down at my watch, seeing it's only 2, and 2 hours of romeo and juliet would be a perfect way of getting her to love me.

"you wanna go see it? i'm sure they still have a couple tickets left." i offer, as she looks up at me, a completely different expression running over her face.

"are you sure? i know some people find it really boring, and i don't want you to-" i cut her off with a light chuckle.

"stop, i sort of enjoy the worlds greatest love story." i say to her, making her smile widely. i chuckle once more, guiding her to the box office. "hello there, is there any chance you have two spare tickets for this showing of romeo and juliet?"

"i can check," the box office manager says to me. "okay... we have two in the pit, is that okay?"

"that is perfect, could i have those please?" i answer, taking my wallet out to pay.

"that'll be 160 pounds, 80 for the each of them." i take my card out to pay, and anya grumbles next to me, making me laugh.

"he's only paying for one, i'll pay for the other." she says, taking out her purse and card.

"no, i'm paying for both, please don't listen to her." the lady laughs at us, printing out two tickets as i sneakily pay for them.

"you two make a cute couple, here are your tickets, enjoy." she hands me the tickets as i quickly thank her with a smile, guiding anya to the queue. i can't help but still think that i'm stuck in my dream, that i can kiss her whenever i want, that i can hold her hand, hug her, make her laugh, be her boyfriend, but then i realise i'm only her fake boyfriend, and she's my fake girlfriend. there is no in between.

"shawn, you really did have to pay for the tickets." she mutters to me, the two of us walking in the fairly fast moving queue.

"nonsense, it's the least i could do." i chuckle at her. "don't worry about it, i wanted to do this for you." she grins up at me, leaning up and pressing her lips to my cheek. i smile widely almost immediately, but that's when i notice the whispers around us, and my name mentioned multiple times.

it was only for show.
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"oh shawn! that was amazing! the acting was brilliant, and normally i don't cry whenever i see or read romeo and juliet, but it really did hit me hard today, i mean look, tears!" she laughs, turning to me as a see tears in her eyes. "i loved what they did with the production though, i mean, tybalt's and mercutio's deaths were almost-almost magical! didn't you think so?"

"it's the first time i've ever seen in in play, and i have to say, it was pretty good." i nod in agreement, whilst we take the walk back to our hotel. "wanna go grab some coffee?" i ask, the two of us passing a french coffee shop.

"sure, but i'm paying." she says, pushing open the door to the shop. i chuckle, shaking my head as i follow her into the café. "what do you want?"

"a matcha tea latte sounds great right about now." i mumble, hooking my arm around her waist, as i notice some fans sitting in the café. they smile politely at me, and i smile back, but i think they understand that i want privacy with anya, so they don't come up to take photos, which i do appreciate.

"why do we have the same likes?" she mutters to me, making me laugh again.

"maybe we're the same person." i shrug at her, as she lets out a chuckle, rolling her eyes. "i'm joking, but not really."

"funny." she nods, waiting to be served. "hi, can i get two matcha tea lattes please?" she asks the worker at the cash desk.

"that'll be 7 pounds 30." the worker says, obviously pretty bored with everything. anya quickly pays for our two drinks, whilst i sneakily take out a ten pound note from my wallet, slipping it into her jacket pocket.

"thank you," anya says, taking the two drinks, handing me one in the meantime. "so, what's the plan for dinner?"

"andrew was saying something about a crew dinner tonight. i don't know, it'll probably either be chinese or something, i know geoff suggested chinese." i shrug, knitting my other hand with anya's, the two of us taking the now fairly short stroll to the hotel.

"that sounds good." she shrugs back, smiling up at me. "i'll race you to the hotel."

"i'm really not in the mood to run." i say with a quiet laugh. "you can go ahead and i'll just say that you've won."

"what's up? you've been a bit funny since we got the tickets." she says, continuing to walk. i stop in my tracks, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"i've been a bit funny? you're the one who keeps acting differently right now." i say, making her stop.

"shawn, can we not do this here?" she sighs. "yell at me all you want in the hotel, i'll just know that you haven't changed one bit."

"anya-" she cuts me off by shaking her head.

"i was just concerned about you, you didn't seem like the shawn i've known for the past three days. but it's okay, i get it." she shrugs, walking in front of me again, whilst i follow her to the hotel.

"wait, anya!" i say, catching her attention before we turn into the street of the hotel. she turns around once more, as i lean forward, capturing her hand in mind again. "fans will be there."

"oh yeah." she nods, holding onto my hand.

"hi guys, do you wanna take some pictures?" i ask, as soon as we reach the fairly short line of only about twenty people. they all mumble a quiet yes, as i quickly start to make my way down the line, taking photos, whilst anya waits near the entrance to the hotel. "thank you all for waiting, have a good evening." i smile at all of them, giving a few of them hugs, before wandering back over to anya, who's rubbing her arms.

"let's go in, hun," i say softly, placing my hand on the middle of anya's back. she nods, following me inside the hotel, where we both make our way to the lifts, which take us up to our shared suite.

"aren't you gonna yell at me then?" anya asks me gently, as soon as we enter the suite.

"what? no, why would you think that?" i ask her softly, as she folds her arms, looking around the main suite area.

"i-i don't know, i guess you seemed mad at me, i just- i don't know." she stutters, making my heart clench. "sorry, i'm just used to it."

"you're used to it? what happened?" she sighs once more, sitting down on the couch. i follow her, sitting down opposite her.

"w-when i was younger, well up until i was 16, my parents used to have a really toxic relationship. they used to yell a lot and i used to hate it. whenever i said something to my dad, it was either he shouted at me or started a conversation with me. i never really got spoken properly to by my dad, so when he left, when i was 16, i was okay with it, but i don't know, i just always think whenever someone suddenly gets mad at me, they're gonna shout at me." she explains in one breath. "it's some sort of reflex i have, please don't be annoyed."

"why would i be annoyed?" i ask her softly. "i wasn't even annoyed with you to begin with." i whisper. "you can trust me, okay? i won't ever yell at you."

"alright." she nods, rubbing her hands against her thighs.

"can i hold your hand?" i ask her, my voice quite small and anxiety filled. she looks up at me confused, letting out a small chuckle.

"why do you want to hold my hand?"

"because you're a friend to me, and i want to be there to support you." i say to her quietly. she nods her head slightly, biting her lower lip, as i knit our fingers together, again, that familiar warmth spreading through me.

"thank you, shawn." she half smiles at me, as i squeeze her hand gently.

the two of us sit there for a few moments, just enjoying the content feeling about us, and myself, wishing for this moment to never end.
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aw shawns so soft and pure bless