chapter thirteen
reveries
[shawn mendes]
-
the warm sun of barcelona hits us at the dinner we're all enjoying. on my right, anya sits, very much happier than what she was last month, and on my left, aaliyah, who came out with my parents for a few of the european shows.

"barcelona show tomorrow, are you excited?" anya asks me, as i nod, finishing my sangria in a sip.

"very much so, i'm glad we have a day still here after that. i love it here." i tell her, as she smiles warmly up at me, her cheeks glowing in the ambience.

how can i be so in love with artwork this beautiful?

"it's so beautiful," she says, looking out at the sea and harbour, which is the scenery around us, as the sun sets in the late evening. "i really wanna come here again."

"how about after tour ends? we come out here, just the two of us?" i suggest, taking a leap into deep waters. her cheeks flush wildly, as she nods her head rapidly, settling the nervous storm building up in my stomach.

"can we? i would love to, shawn." she grins, leaning her chin on her hand. "that would be incredible."

"okay then, it's settled. i'll book the tickets when we get back to the hotel." i chuckle, refilling my glass with one of the jugs of sangria on the table.

"you guys are seriously planning another trip to barcelona, when we're in barcelona?" aaliyah snorts at us, taking a sip of her water.

"what? i love it here." i shrug, leaning back in my chair, very full from the extensive dinner we had today.

"you're only saying that because that girl over there is giving you looks, heck, every girl gives you looks here. right anya?" aaliyah says, nodding her head at the girl who sits near our table.

"every girl is not giving me looks." i scoff at aaliyah, folding my arms. "i mean yeah, they might be fans and think 'oh look, that's shawn mendes!' but that's it."

"what happened to that girl you met in where was it? milan?" aaliyah adds, making me glare at her to shut up.

"it was literally just getting her name, and having a drink. plus it was part of a game." anya chuckles next to me, taking a sip of her sangria.

"very true, well, shawn was playing the game himself. i just didn't know he would actually have the guts to go up to her." the three of us laugh, as anya leans her head on my shoulder. i chuckle immediately, as the girl who was staring at me, looks away and back to the people she was with.

"aaliyah was right! she was giving you looks." anya laughs, taking her head off my shoulder.

"hey, my shoulder was comfy with you lying on it," i complain, making anya scoff, before laughing and leaning her head back down, as she knits her arm around mine. "wanna go get some ice cream before we head back to the hotel?" i ask anya quietly, as she nods, smiling at me.

"it's a date, mendes," she grins, making my heart leap, before standing up from the table. "okay guys, we're gonna head out and get some ice cream, see you all in the morning, bright and early!"

"i see what you're doing," aaliyah chuckles next to me, being quiet, as i stand up, leaning my hand down to find anya's.

"i think it's working," i say back to aaliyah, as she shakes her head, laughing. "bye guys, see you in the morning, thanks for dinner andrew."

"don't worry about it, you kids go have some fun, but be back before midnight, you need to get some sleep, shawn." andrew warns me, making me laugh.

"alright, boss, i'm sure anya will take care of me." i chuckle, before hugging my parents a goodnight. "night mum, night dad, see you in the morning."

"bye sweetie, be safe, and have fun," my mum smiles at me, kissing my cheeks. "i also know what you're doing, keep at it. i like seeing you happy like this." i chuckle, before anya and i leave the table, and the restaurant, walking away to find somewhere to get some ice cream.

"la rambla would have some, right?" anya asks me, swaying our hands, as the two of us walk across the bridge, connecting the restaurant we were at, a mall, and a couple of other places, to the main land.

"i'm sure of it, i mean, when mum and i were at the market, we saw a couple ice cream stands." i shrug, walking in the direction of the tourist packed street, bursting with energy. "or we could head to the gothic quarter, there's got to be something there."

"that might be fun, aaliyah and i were planning to go there and to the sagrada familia, but obviously we got distracted by shopping." she chuckles, the sun kissing her tanned skin, her shoulders practically sparkling in the light. "alright, let's go there then."

"lead the way, gorgeous," i smirk at her, as her cheeks heat up in the light. i chuckle, as she drags me up the street, and through a side road, revealing a completely different atmosphere, music echoing around the streets with just people; no cars.

"wow," anya breathes, stopping, as we come across the stunning architecture of what you would expect barcelona to look like, people lively, children running about, and people purely just dancing, or enjoying the evening heat, sitting outside, talking, eating, drinking.

of course i'm going to get inspired from this.

"shawn, look! they have ice cream there," she points to an ice cream shop in one of the enclosed shop fronts, still clutching onto my hand. i follow her eagerly, as the two of us end up in an ice cream shop.

"what do you want, hunny?" i ask her, looking over the side selection they have.

"dulce con leche and vanilla, please," she chuckles, eagerly awaiting the ice cream. i nod, chuckling at her, as i walk up to the paying desk.

"hola," the man at the desk says with a smile.

"hablas ingles?" anya asks softly, as i get my wallet out.

"yes i do, what do you guys want?" he asks, as i take out a ten euro note.

"one dulce con leche and vanilla, and one chocolate please. on a cone." i say, handing him the money, as he gives me the change, nodding, and fixing up our ice creams. "thank you."

the man begins building up the ice creams into the shape of a rose, and anya laughs next to me, as soon as she notices it. the man hands me the ice creams, as anya and i walk back out. i give anya hers, as she thanks me quickly, before devouring the ice cream.

"yeah, this still wasn't as good as the ones in italy." she sighs, smiling. "but it's still good, i mean, it's still ice cream."

"alright, crazy," i chuckle at her, nudging her shoulder with my arm, as the two of us walk around the streets of the gothic quarter, trying to not get lost in the foreign city. "tour has been so much fun with you, did you know that?"

"i know, i'm the life of the party." she jokes, making me chuckle. "hey, you're the one who said it in lisbon!"

"i know i did, because it's true," i chuckle at her, as she rolls her perfect eyes. i finish my ice cream cone quickly, sighing in contentment after it. "what time do you wanna get back for? it's only 8 now."

"shawn, chill about timings," anya chuckles. "i'll get you back so you can sleep, okay? don't worry, come on, let's enjoy our time here." i smile, shaking my head at her, as i follow her through the streets, until we reach a scene of someone playing music to the passers by.

"oh my god, shawn, let's dance!" anya squeals, grabbing onto my hands and pulling me into the middle of the street.

"anya, i don't dance," i chuckle, as she scoffs, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"yes you do, follow me, come on shawn," our hips move in time to the music, and i smile gently at her, falling in love all over again with the woman in front of me. how could she be so emotionally scarred just one month ago, and now be so happy and lively again? she continues to amaze me.

the musician ends his piece, people cheering and clapping around us, and even the musician clapping at anya and i. there's a moment when i feel closer to her than ever before, as the two of us stop, leaning our foreheads onto one another. anya bites her lower lip, looking down at my chest.

"i'm scared," she whispers, anxiousness filling her face.

"i won't hurt you," i mumble back, as she looks up, parting her lips slightly. my eyes trail to her pink lips, before i take a shaky breath, leaning in and planting my lips onto hers. she kisses back slowly, but surely, before hooking her arm around my waist, pulling me closer to her. she pulls away, taking her forehead off of mine, but her hands not leaving my body.

"that was," she chuckles nervously, a blush lining her cheeks. "that was something."

"it was," i chuckle with her, my cheeks probably mirroring hers.

"come on, let's keep exploring," she says, letting go of my body, and holding onto my hand instead, the two of us walking away from the scene, and wandering around, before we end back on la rambla.

"woah, it's ten already?" i yawn, the two of us sitting at the main fountain and columbus statue, anya resting her head on my shoulder, as she smiles widely, chuckling.

"we should head back." she agrees, clutching onto my hand, and standing up. i chuckle, pulling her back down. "shawn, i'm tired," she whines, making me laugh, as i wrap my arm around her.

"let's take a snapchat," i suggest, taking my phone out and opening my snapchat app, snapping a picture of the two of us, anya hiding from the camera, nestling her head on my shoulder. "okay, i'm done, that's cute." i show her the picture, and she smiles brightly.

"send that to me, i love that picture," she says. "i'm gonna put it on my photo wall."

"i feel honoured." i chuckle, standing up and stretching out my back. "do you wanna take a taxi back to the hotel, or walk?"

"piggy back?" she asks hopefully, biting her lip at me. i chuckle, nodding, before crouching down, and letting her jump on my back. i wrap my arms around her knees, and she hooks her arms over my neck.

"you weigh literally nothing, and you eat everything. how?" i ask her, as she slaps my arm playfully.

"hey!" she giggles, as i cross the road, reaching the road which leads straight to our hotel.

"sorry," i chuckle, smiling, as i take the fairly long walk up the road, reaching the main hotel doors.

"hey, put me down," she says softly, tapping on my shoulder. i obey, letting her jump down, before she walks next to me, the two of us strolling into the hotel, and straight to our room, which is a large suite, shared with geoff and chris.

anya immediately takes her shoes off, reaching for a bottle of water, and finishing half of it in one gulp.

"wanna watch suits with me?" anya asks, leaning against the kitchen counter of the suite. "it's only 10, and we're almost at the end of season 2 episode 2."

"sure, should we watch it here?" i suggest, looking at the couch.

"we can watch it in my room." she shrugs, folding her arms. "go get changed into something and come to my room."

"alright," i nod, turning around and walking to my room, where i brush my teeth, and change into a pair of tracksuits and a t-shirt.

i leave my room, walking to the door of anya's, knocking on it gently.

"can i come in?" i ask, looking down at the floor.

"yeah!" she calls, as i open up the door, shutting it behind me, seeing her dressed in a silk spaghetti top, and matching silk shorts. why is she so gorgeous? she pulls on a pink, silk robe over that, pulling out her macbook, and patting the place next to her on her bed. i smile gently at her, sitting down, and leaning my back against the headboard.

she brings the laptop up, sitting next to me, before turning on the episode, and placing the macbook on both of our laps; half on me, half on her.

after an episode, anya completely falls asleep, her head falling on me. i chuckle softly, gently moving her body, so she's under he sheets, and not resting on me, before pausing the episode, and quietly standing up from the bed, putting the laptop on her bedside table.

"s-shawn?" i hear her croak our tiredly. i turn back to see her, as she quickly mumbles a few things. "stay?"

"move up," i whisper, getting under the covers, as she moves to the other side. i lie down, as anya nestled up to my side, my hands finding their way around her waist. "night, hun."

"night, shawn." she yawns, tucking her head into my chest, and closing her eyes.

maybe, just maybe, i'll get the girl.
-
"uh yeah, you in the back! pink shirt," i chuckle, pointing someone out for my q&a. "come on, you know who you are!"

"what's it like finally having a girlfriend?" the fans laugh at the question, and i chuckle, playfully rolling my eyes.

"it's great, honestly. but you guys do realise i did have a girlfriend for two years, right?" they all laugh again, making me smile. "no, but i love it. anya's amazing and she makes me really happy. you know, she was actually just telling me about this book she's reading, where the protagonist is a guy, so helplessly head over heels for a girl, and man, i have to say, i'm that guy in real life."

"was it romeo and juliet? because then you'd die." another fan yells, making the room erupt into laughter.

"what the heck guys?" i laugh loudly, as the room settles. "no it wasn't, i forgot the book title actually, but if i remember it, i'll tweet if out or something." i scan the room for another person, before landing on a girl in the third row.

"how is anya?" she asks, making me smile.

"she's good, she's really good. we went out yesterday to the gothic quarter, and i think i saw a side of her which i've never seen before, but yeah, she's great."

"are we gonna get some bops on the third album now?" i laugh at the fan, nodding.

"i hope so, my minds honestly been swimming with ideas recently. i've been so inspired, and even yesterday, anya and i were watching suits, and i spent half of the time on my phone, writing some lyrics down because of yesterday, i feel like you guys are definitely gonna get a song about tour and how free i'm feeling." i explain.

after answering a few more questions, i say goodbye to my fans, before heading backstage again, and straight into my dressing room, where i flop down on the couch, letting out a long sigh.

what even is going on between anya and i? are we flirting? are we exclusive? are we together?

a knock is heard at my door, before i snap my head up, seeing anya standing at the doorway, holding two plates, with slices of pizza on them.

"hey?" anya chuckles, walking into the room and sitting next to me. "you look like you're having an epiphany."

"honestly i think i am," i mutter, taking the plate from her, and eagerly destroying the food. she laughs, bringing her legs up so she's sitting in a criss cross style. "i'm just confused."

"with what?" anya asks me, putting her plate down on her lap.

"everything." i chuckle, taking another bite of my pizza. "like, it's just everything is confusing me. why did this happened? what does that mean? see i told you, everything."

"okay then," she chuckles, taking her empty plate off of her lap, and placing it on the side, along with taking mine, and putting it on the table in front of us, before holding onto my hands, and moving closer towards me, resting our joint hands in her lap. "what do you want, in whatever you're confused about?"

"i want what i want." i answer simply, not giving her a straight forward answer. "and i know it wants me, but nothings happening."

"well, why don't you just take it then?" she scoffs at me, laughing gently.

"you sure?" i ask her, raising my eyebrows, as she laughs again, nodding. i shrug, letting go of her hands. "yeah, i'm not doing that."

"why?" she moans, folding her arms, and pouting slightly. "you're so boring when you're like this, you're no fun."

"what are you, five?" i snort.

"what are you, a buzzkill?" she shoots back sarcastically.

"oh shit, you went there," i laugh, leaning back in the sofa, letting out another long sigh. "i really can't be bothered to get up, but i know i have to, mainly because i'm performing in like four hours."

"why don't you sleep for a couple then? i'll wake you up for setup." she suggests, as i turn to face her.

"will you?" i ask her hopefully.

"of course, come here." she pats her lap, and i smile tiredly at her, before leaning down, and resting my head on her lap, as her hands find their way into my curls, slowly massaging my scalp.

"that feels nice," i sigh softly, shutting my eyes. she lets out a tired chuckle, and i can almost imagine her rolling her eyes at me.

"go to sleep, you idiot." she says, continuing to massage my head. i nod, feeling myself doze off into sleep world.

the last thing i feel are her delicate lips placing themselves on my forehead, before she lifts up. i'm pretty sure my face is like a firetruck right now, but i couldn't care. i was lying with the woman i love more than life itself.