hi loves!! i'm so happy to see that you're here to join anya and shawn on their final (well first) journey together! like i said, this book is an optional book, so you could've ended shawn and anya's journey before shawn woke up, or you could carry on with this book.

anyway enough of me talking, i'm pretty sure you guys are gonna want me to start, so here it is!
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chapter one
reveries
[shawn mendes]
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she stands outside the hotel, her brown hair flowing around her youthful face, but still almost looking the same as a 26 year old anya rose mendes, sorry, steinburg. that's going to take some getting used to again. she's dressed in a pair of black jeans, a white shirt, and a black aviator jacket over her shoulders.

"hi hun," i pose for a photo with another fan, as she quietly thanks me, letting me move onto the next fan.

"thank you guys so much, i'll see you all soon." i say to them, taking my jacket from jake and swooping it over my shoulders, joining the group of andrew, anya, geoff and brian.

"ready?" andrew asks me, as i let out a small nod, trying to look away from anya, but her presence still making my heart clench. i'm in love with her, and she probably hates me after what i've apparently said about her before i passed out.

"where are we going?" i ask andrew, the five of us walking along the streets near the hotel.

"a cafe for breakfast." andrew replies. "then we're heading straight to soundcheck for the radio one teen awards, and staying there until the actual show, then it's x-factor in the evening."

"right so tomorrow?" i question once more.

"rays of sunshine, then wednesday is your pop up." i nod at andrew, looking down at the floor as we walk to the breakfast place. how can i not remember any of this? i technically completed it in my dream. "shawn, anya, you're going to have a separate table at breakfast." i immediately snap my head up at geoff, looking panicked.

"it'll be fine." geoff mumbles inaudibly to me. i shake my head at him, before nodding at andrew.

"seriously andrew?" anya mutters to him.

"well i'm sorry, you two are dating you know." my heart clenches once more, as we enter the fairly large cafe nero, the sweet smell of coffee wafting around us. "you two, find a table." andrew says to anya and i, the two of us nodding and venturing further into the fairly empty coffee shop.

"is here okay?" i ask, as we come across a window which overlooks the river and the surrounding scenery.

"yeah." she nods, looking away from me, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"what do you want to eat?" i ask. she looks up at me, those chestnut eyes i've grown to love, having a small glimmer of hope in them.

"i'll just have a cappuccino with almond milk and a fruit pot, thanks." she says softly, her voice like music to my ears. even her order is the same as her usual in my dream. her phone begins to ring and she lets out a small sigh, answering it. "oh, hi mom, i'm good, how are you?" i walk away, heading straight for the till, where i order and pay for our breakfast, waiting patiently for the drinks, whilst holding her fruit pot, and my cold oatmeal in my hands.

"one cappuccino with almond milk, and a green tea for shawn!" the barista calls. i smile gently at her, thanking her quietly, and taking the two drinks, walking back to our table.

"alright mom, love you too." she laughs. looks like her relationship with her mom is different. "tell jas and pops i say hi, i'll see you at christmas." so apparently i got her family members names in my dream right?

"here's your food." i mumble to her, sliding her fruit pot across the table and placing her drink down in front of her, before putting my things down at my place.

"thank you, how much do i owe you?" she asks, looking up at me, whilst tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

"nothing, it's on me." she smiles sadly at me, before opening up her fruit pot. "i'm sorry about yesterday, by the way. it was completely out of order, and i just want you to know that i am an idiot. it's only because of the situation i was acting like that, and in all honesty, i really want to get to know you."

"really?" she asks, slightly hopeful. i nod my head, sending her a small smile. "and don't worry about it, if i were you, i would've reacted the same."

"i mean, we are stuck together for a while now, i might as well get to know you." and basically so i can somehow stay close to her. i don't think i'll be able to stay away.

"i'm anya," she says lightly. "anya steinburg." she holds out her dainty hand, her left hand in fact, and the flashbacks from my dream come rushing back to me. she offered me her hand when i put a ring on her finger.

"i'm shawn," i say, taking her hand and shaking it. "shawn mendes." they say it's cheesy, but i feel that spark rush up my arm, causing butterflies to explode in my stomach. how can i be in love with someone i don't even know?

"wait, you like cold oatmeal too?" anya asks me, looking at my breakfast.

"i love it." i chuckle nervously. "everyone says i'm an idiot for liking it, i mean, who actually likes cold oatmeal?"

"i thought i was the only one who did." she smiles gently up at me, and i prevent myself from reaching over and holding onto her spare hand. how can a dream make me feel like i've been in love with her for eight years? "my roommate in new york actually hates it when i make it, because apparently the smell makes her gag." i remember when anya and i made it in my dream, it seemed like we would make it every day when we were 22.

"you live in new york?" she nods, finishing a piece of fruit.

"i've lived there since september, you know, because of uni and all." i nod understandingly. "i was brought up in the hamptons though, it's a little way away from new york city."

"i've heard of it, what are you studying?" i ask curiously, wanting to know if real life anya is similar to my dream anya.

"i'm heading towards a major in english literature." she says. "it's always been an avid love of mine, so why not study it."

"some of my friends are doing english, they love it." i add to her. "so why did you take this job in the first place?"

"i wanted to travel, and i also wanted to earn my own money. i mean, i have my parents' trust fund, but i want to be independent, and this is a way i can continue to live in manhattan." okay so she's similar to dream anya, but i think i'm falling even more in love with her.

"well you'll be travelling a lot from now on." i chuckle, remembering how in my dream, anya and i went everywhere, and oh! our honeymoon, the bahamas and paris! how could i forget that from my dream? "you excited about australia?"

"i am actually! i've always wanted to go to australia." she grins widely back at me. "are you?"

"definitely, it's the first time i'll be performing there too, so that's exciting." i explain briefly, as she nods. "tell me about yourself, what do you like to do?"

"i really like photography." she says quietly. "i brought my film camera with me, with about twenty rolls of film, so hopefully i can get some good things in london and australia."

"if you want, we can go on tuesday around london and take a few pictures, after all, it would give great press too." i suggest, as a sudden excitement flashes over her eyes.

"okay, that sounds like a plan." she nods, making me smile. small steps to make her yours again, shawn. small steps. "what about you though? what do you like to do?" and just with that one question i feel myself fall in love with her all over again.

"i'm pretty boring." i let out a small chuckle. "i like sightseeing, but i love just messing around with music. i know that sounds cheesy and all, but i think it's so important for an artist to actually have a real passion for what they do. in some way, making music and playing around on my instruments makes me calm, and there's something about it which is so emotionally settling. i don't know how to explain it, but i guess i really do like doing music." i explain, as she looks at me intently, listening to my rant. "sorry, that was probably really deep."

"no, don't worry!" she lets out a laugh. "it was beautiful." yeah, like you.

"thanks," i smile at her, a soft blush running over my cheeks.

"i feel the same with literature. there's something about exploring language a writer has used to really unlock the depths of the message of a book, and understand the true contexts of the peace written. the arts really are a beautiful thing, and i admire anyone who holds a passion for them." holy crap, she admires me. my heart starts to race, and i want to honestly just stand up and kiss her.

i hope i do get to kiss her soon.

"you're really intelligent, did you know that?" i ask her, placing my hand on my chin, as i gaze at her in awe. "i don't think i've ever met someone that enthusiastic about what they love, it honestly is so heart warming to see someone so intrigued by literature. did you always think that english was for you?"

"not really, i was actually thinking about going into something to do with the human and medical sciences, or even biological sciences. then i realised english truly is my passion, and i decided to go for that instead." she explains. "basically, i was a nerd in high school. i loved science and math, but i think english was my largest love. i used to go into my lessons and connect with the books and characters we studied. it truly was magical." i smile softly at her, feeling as though i could burst from all the love i have towards her. she truly is beautiful inside and out.

"that's sweet, i was pretty dumb in high school. pretty average, but to be honest, as soon as my career started growing, i kind of gave up with my studies." i let out a small chuckle, as she smiles warmly at me. "there was no point of me to focus on something which probably wouldn't have taken me anywhere where i wanted to be, so i turned most of my attention to my music, and well, i'm here now."

"you clearly are successful, i always hear you on the radio." she says, making me smile and my cheeks heat up.

"oh yeah? so what do you think of my voice?" i cock a smirk, making her chuckle and shake her head.

"your voice is stunning, yet so raw and laid back at the same time. it's hard to explain, but you really do have a great voice, and a great talent." i feel my cheeks flush once more, letting a grin out at her.

"thank you so much, it really means a lot to me." i chuckle, finishing my tea. "so-"

"ready to go, kids? the cars out back." geoff says, walking up to anya and i's table. the two of us look at each other, sharing a smile, before turning to geoff and nodding.

"give us a minute?" i ask geoff, whilst he nods and walks back to andrew and brian. "are you ready?"

"yeah, let's go." she nods, as i lead the way back to the group, and straight to the taxi, which is waiting for us. "wait, shawn," she calls, making me turn around. "i'd really like to get to know you more." i beam widely at her, feeling my heart race. in that moment i want to do nothing more than hug her, but i restrict myself, nodding.

"i'd like that too." i respond, clambering into the car, taking my seat next to geoff, anya sliding in next to me, and next to her, brian.

i just hope i can get her to like me.
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"so how is everything?" geoff asks me, handing me a beer, as the two of us sit in my dressing room. i let out a small sigh, running my hand through my hair.

"hard," i mumble, taking a long sip of the beer, the hops and barley taste running through my mouth. "i fell in love with her overnight, geoff. it's so hard to look at her and remember that my dream wasn't real. it felt so real, the dream. the love felt real, the proposal felt real, the marriage felt real, heck even the sex felt real."

"okay buddy, a little tmi there." he chuckles. "are you gonna try to possibly get some feelings going between you two?"

"yeah, i mean, i sort of have to try." i sigh. "geoff, she's even more perfect in real life. she's so intelligent, and the way she speaks is beautiful. i don't think i've ever met a human as stunning as she is. and i'm not just saying that because she's visually appealing, mentally, she's absolutely gorgeous. her mind is like a work of art, her language is so musical, and the way she presents herself as a person is undoubtedly captivating. i thought in my dream she was perfect, but in real life? geoff, she's more than i could ever ask for."

"you're really in love with someone you don't even know?" he asks me confused. "shawn, what happened in your dream?"

"so much." i choke out. "so much happened in my dream, i can't even explain it. and it feels like it really did happen, in real life. all the feelings were so raw, so real. it was sort of like i could feel how she was feeling too. it was weird, but amazing."

"that's crazy." he says, his tone slightly soft. "i'm sorry, shawn."

"don't worry about it, mate." i respond. "it's just my minds way of telling me i'm way too much of a fool." i finish the rest of my beer in a single sip, placing the bottle down on the table in front of me, and looking at my watch. "shit, andrews expecting me for the photoshoot things, i gotta go. see you after my set?"

"yeah, see you." he replies, as i pick up my jacket, putting it on quickly, and racing out my dressing room, following the signs to the photographs area. i soot andrew and anya at one corner, waiting for the vamps and niall to finish their section.

"sorry, geoff and i were just chatting." i say, joining anya and andrew. "can we go up?"

"i suppose you can now, go on." andrew says, shoving the two of us forward. "put on a show, go." anya and i look at each other, shrugging, before i quickly slip my arm around her waist, guiding her to the wall where cameras surround us.

"don't worry, just smile and look around at them." i say quietly to her, as she plasters on a smile at me, before turning to the cameras.

the flashes begin to blind me, so i take that as a sign to move on the interviewers stationed around the red carpet set up. i slowly guide anya there, my hand still remaining firmly around her waist.

"shawn! so lovely to see you!" an interviewer calls, making me chuckle. "and who's this lovely lady?"

"my uh, girlfriend. this is anya." i chuckle nervously, as anya lets out a small smile at the camera.

"cute! looks like we have a new couple on the scene!" she laughs. "how did you two meet?"

"we actually bumped into each other at a coffee shop in new york." anya laughs, acting as a natural. "he sort of spilt his coffee on me, so he offered to by me a new shirt, and we basically spent the entire day together."

"you don't spill coffee on a pretty girl every day, i just took up the opportunity." i shrug, making the interviewer and anya laugh.

"so shawn, any plans for tour?" i nod, putting on a smile.

"tour tickets for my illuminate world tour actually came out a few weeks back. it's going to be crazy, i'm doing arenas every night of that tour, and it's going to be big. i'm excited though, i can't wait to be back on the road and just doing what i love." i explain, nodding at the interviewer.

"that's lovely to hear! so you're up for a few awards tonight. got any speeches planned?" i let out a chuckle, shaking my head.

"honestly, i'm up against so many amazing people for this, so if i don't win, i won't be surprised. but i think i'll be okay if i have to make a speech, i don't know, we'll see." i laugh.

"i'm sure you'll win something! now a bit of a random question, but how are you liking london?"

"i love it here." i respond. "this is actually not my first trip, i have been here a few times before, but yeah, i really do love it here. it reminds me of toronto, and i just love the street life here. it's so entertaining and vibrant." i feel anya's stare bore into me, making my cheeks flush as i wait for the next question.

"how sweet, anyway, thank you for taking the time to talk to us shawn, have a great night and hopefully we'll see you soon." she says to me. "congratulations on your relationship by the way, you two seem like an amazing couple." anya and i thank her, saying goodbye, before exiting the red carpet, and walking back to the backstage area.

"so is that how these things work?" she asks me, as we come up to my dressing room once more. i let out a small laugh, nodding.

"sort of, but that one was pretty chill." i explain. "some that i've been in have been pretty nerve racking, but you'll get used to it, don't worry." i smile down at her, looking at her appearance for the first time tonight. "by the way, you look beautiful." her crimson dress complimenting her curves, and the thin spaghetti straps resting over her shoulders, half covered by the denim jacket she bears.

"thanks shawn," she blushes, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. oh how i wish i could be the one tucking it behind her ear. "i think your stylist made us match."

"she's your stylist too now." i chuckle back at her. "don't worry, you won't have to match me for x-factor tonight, or rather any of the other events of this trip." i say to her, making her laugh. her laugh is like music to my ears. "i'm not joking, like you can wear sweats to these next ones."

"alright, i'll hold you to that."
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i hope you all enjoyed the first part of reveries!! hope you all have a great christmas, merry christmas! xx