chapter fifteen
reveries
[anya rose steinburg]
-
the scorching heat of the early june sun, far too hot for a normal night in london, penetrates into shawn and i's hotel room, coating every part of it with a sickly, muggy, hot duvet. my computer screen lights up my face, my bare legs pulled to my chest, as i type away, trying to find out anything about adam tyson.

"come to bed, babe, it's 1am." shawn chuckles, swooping his arms over my shoulders, bringing his lips delicately down to my earlobe, nibbling softly at the smooth skin. "you're getting yourself stressed over something which probably might not even be true."

"shawn, it fits," i sigh, showing him my laptop screen. "adam tyson, rowdy as a teenage boy, recently became london's finest journalist, earning an extortionate salary, and dining with the likes of film, music, tv, and musical royalty. a fostered 17 year old sparked his career in writing, when he turned to it as a method to cope, after his parents disowned him, and sent him into care. fresh from new york states finest boys' grammar school, tyson obviously knew how to write, and that writing has directed him to where he wants to be today." i read aloud, shawns eyes glazing over the article. "'i miss my sister the most, i don't know where she is, i don't even know what she looks like, but i do miss her a lot' tyson speaks, after opening up to us about his biological parents accusing him of hitting his own younger sister. 'i don't know her name, either. when i turned 18, i was diagnosed as mentally unstable, and the meds i got put on really did play havoc with my mind' he reveals, teary eyed and highly emotional." i turn to look at shawn, biting down on my lower lip. "it fits perfectly, this is definitely something my dad would've forced my mom to do." i tell shawn, distressed myself. "he has my moms maiden name, and my moms eyes. how can it even be possible?"

"relax a little, anya rose," shawn says softly to me, turning my chair around, and holding onto my hands, as he crouches down. "we met this guy briefly, literally four days ago, and you're now thinking he's your brother. please explain to me how you can think that?" i scoff at shawn, letting go of his hands and folding my arms.

"i don't know, i just feel it," i say quietly, the heat of the room making me feel more uncomfortable. "is there AC in the room?"

"i think so," shawn shrugs, standing up and looking around. "why didn't we think of this before?"

shawns torso remains shiny, his shirtless, toned body, being a godly sight to anyone who can see exactly what i'm seeing right now. good lord, how did i get this lucky?

"done checking me out?" shawn smirks, making me look up, and meet his eyes, instead of his carved-out-by-angels body. my cheeks flush crimson, as shawn chuckles to himself, sitting down on the bed again, the cool air blasting out from a vent in the room. i sigh softly, standing up, and walking to the bed, lying down next to shawns sitting body, my figure resting over the cool sheets, which have remained untouched since we got back from shawns press today.

"you know, i'm honestly thinking of just sleeping in my underwear right now," i groan, sitting up, the heat not escaping my body. shawn snorts, as i strip of his t-shirt, and my gym shorts, leaving me in a black lace bralette, and a pair of underwear, shawn still chuckling at me.

"you know what? i'm gonna join you with that." shawn takes off his gym shorts, leaving him in a pair of black boxers, before he settles down next to me, the two of us lying next to each other, shawns hand resting over my waist, his fingers tracing patterns on my fairly tanned skin. "you're so beautiful, anya."

even in the darkness of our room at 1am, i am pretty sure my red cheeks stand out, and shawn can see them.

"i'm not kidding," he continues, his fingertips dancing on my skin. "you are just simply stunning, like a work of art."

"i guess i have to say the same goes for you," i chuckle, tracing shawns jawline with one of my fingers, the two of us connecting eyes with each other, the light of our rendezvous being enough for the both of us. he smiles gently, leaning forward, and resting his lips on my forehead briefly, before he pulls away, letting out a small sigh.

"how did i manage to even tell you about everything? you don't even know how scared i was for you ever to find out." shawn chuckles, making me smile.

"i'm glad you told me," i whisper, cupping his cheek, and trailing my thumb over his cheekbone, making a slight pink stride to his cheeks. "that way, i can do this," i lean up, pressing my lips to his for a brief second, before pulling away. shawns other hand makes its way up, grasping onto mine, so the two hands are resting in between us. "so in your dream, we had kids?"

"one, actually," shawn says, with a nervous chuckle. "god, she was so beautiful. her name was avery, and i swear, she was the most precious thing around." he explains, his eyes shining. "i'm kinda sad that she was a dream."

"i love the name avery," i smile at him, as his eyes light up even more, a chuckle leaving his lips.

"what about the name liam-noah?" he asks me, his voice gentle, and soft.

"i also really love that name," i giggle, kissing shawns hand, that remains entangled with mine. "tell me more about this dream, what were our twenties like?"

"they were great," he smiles. "it was magical, honestly. we were engaged, married, had a child, all in the space of six years. you even worked with chanel on something, and we built like six schools in deprived areas of the world."

"can we do that? build some schools? i know you did pencils of promise, but i really want to build some schools. everyone deserves to have education - no matter their place, race, gender, or religion." i say quietly to him. "if i never had the chance to be educated, wow, i'd really be sad."

"really?"

"education is one of the most powerful tools in the world. and the beauty of it, is that anyone can do it, really. it's just some people try harder, whilst others don't. i don't think you have to be smart to enjoy education, i just think you have to be an actual physical person to enjoy education. it's so special, and i really do think kids these days take it for granted. there are people their age who have to work almost fourteen hours a day, just to earn enough money for their families to have another bowl of rice at dinner. it's not fair when kids say that they hate school, or they hate learning, or education is just a waste of time, because it really isn't. education gives people a way to express themselves in so many different ways, and i think that that specifically, is one of the most magical things anyone could ever have," i finish, my voice soft. shawn looks at me in awe, his eyes taking in what i said.

"that was incredible, anya. i've never thought of it that way." he responds. "i wish more people had your mindset, maybe that way the world would be a better place."

"shawn, i'm really not an angel," i blush, letting out a sad chuckle. "i've just been brought up to have these sort of opinions and thoughts of life. i perceive everything differently, it's just who i am."

"so what's your perception on the world?" shawn asks me, genuinely interested in what i have to say.

"i think the world is brilliant." i answer simply. "i mean, granted, the world is filled with so much evil, and so much crime, but the way that the world runs, sparks this malevolence, and futile behaviours. i do wish we didn't have egotistical and ignorant people like trump, but i think that the world itself is an incredible place. it's crazy to think how life evolved out of basically nothing, and if you think about it scientifically, the world is practically nothing. it's just another form of matter, which is why i think it is so outstandingly interesting. it sparks so many different things."

"you're stunning," shawn blurts out, making my heart leap, and my stomach flip. "inside and out, oh my god, i think i'm falling for you even harder in real life."

he leans forward once more, kissing me passionately, before pulling away, and resting his forehead onto mine.

"goodnight, anya," shawn whispers, his eyes fluttering shut.

"goodnight, shawn," and with that, i join him into the world of sleep.
-
shawns hands rest on either side of my waist, the two of us standing at the edge of the river bank, myself leaning onto the stone barrier, shawns arms wrapped around my body, the heat of summer suddenly being more comfortable than the previous night. josiah stands a little further away, snapping pictures of shawn and i, mainly because shawn wanted a few for social media, and i wanted some for a scrapbook, or some to put on my photo wall at home.

"let's get some where we're walking around," shawn decides, letting go of my waist, and trapping my hand in his. "so i was thinking," shawn begins, squeezing my hand ever so gently. "that we could maybe go and grab some dinner, just the two of us, after this?"

"like a date?" i ask him, biting my lip and slightly nervous.

"if you want it to be," he looks down at me, grinning, as i nod my head, leaning up to kiss shawns cheek.

"okay then, a date," our first ever date. you would think, that after being shawns 'girlfriend' for the past eight months, we would've gone on a fair share of dates, however, shawn and i never have really been out on a proper date, ever.

"i'll pick you up from chris' room at 7?" shawn asks me gently, squeezing my hand. i nod again, smiling widely at him. "dress fancy," he leans down, pecking my cheek softly, before letting go of my hand and walking up to andrew and geoff, while i find chris, who's talking to zubin and eddy.

"chris! i need to go shopping, like now!" i screech, looking at my watch, and seeing its 2 in the afternoon.

"what? why?" she laughs, as i quickly pull her away from zubin and eddy, letting out a long sigh.

"shawns taking me out on a date tonight, and i literally have nothing fancy to wear. he said dress fancy, and all i have with me is casual, oh god." i panic, walking quickly down the southbank of london.

"chill, anya," chris laughs. "come on, let's take a taxi to bond street, and we'll see what you can find there."
-
the red dress i purchased today rests over my skin, my hair curled down my back, and the delicate sandals i found, on my feet. the soft material hugs my curves gently, accentuating all the right places, and hiding my insecurities.

"shawn is going to not even be able to speak when he sees you, holy shit," chris chuckles, making me smile gently. "if he found you attractive before, he won't even be able to speak today."

"oh shush," i blush, placing a few things into a black clutch, holding it on my side. "he's gonna be here in literally seconds, oh god, does my hair look okay?"

"it looks-" she gets cut off by a knock at the door, and all of a sudden, nervousness consumes me. "you look stunning, okay go!" she pushes me towards the door, opening it gently for me, before she escapes back into the room, revealing shawn; dressed in a black button up, a black suit jacket over that, and dress trousers.

shawns mouth goes slightly ajar, as a soft smile runs through his expression, before he makes eye contact with me. "anya rose, i feel like the luckiest guy alive." he lets out a nervous chuckle. "you're breathtakingly gorgeous."

"thank you," i blush, my cheeks probably the shade of a red london bus right now, as shawn holds his arm out to me.

"shall we, darling?" way to make a girls heart leap, mendes. "the reservations at 7:20, and there's a car waiting outside."

"yeah, let's go," i say to him, holding onto his arm with one of my hands, before shutting the hotel room door behind me, shawn and i heading straight to the lobby. "where are we heading to?"

"a restaurant in the shard, i thought it might be fitting for a first date for us, because technically we started 'dating' in london," he chuckles, a slight red tinge at his cheeks. "and because we're 18 here, we can drink to our hearts content." i chuckle gently, whilst shawn guides me out of the hotel, and straight into a sleek, black town car, which will be taking us to the restaurant.

we arrive at the venue in a short ten minutes, shawn and i chatting about the scenery, with our hands joint, and resting over my knee, the entire way to the shard. as soon as we arrive, shawn gets out first, speeding around to my side door, holding it open for me, as i get out, thanking shawn softly.

"table for mendes?" shawn asks the waitress, after we had gotten up to the seventeenth floor of the shard. she nods, guiding shawn and i to a table with a view of the city, handing shawn and i a menu each.

"oh my, shawn it's beautiful up here," i say to him, settling down in my seat, and overlooking the exquisite scenery. "how did you find out about this place?"

"honestly? when i bought this suit," he chuckles softly, opening up the menu. "the guy at armani told me about it."

"you bought a suit from armani literally for one date? i'm never gonna understand you, shawn," i laugh at him.

"hey, i had a discount, you know, since i'm their new watch campaigns face, so i kind of have some perks." he raises one eyebrow at me, sending me a smirk along with that. a waiter comes to our table, holding two champagne flutes, and a bottle of champagne, which shawn and i eagerly take to enjoy.

"cheers," shawn says, holding his glass up to clink it with mine. i smile softly, hitting his glass with mine.

"cheers," i respond, the two of us taking a sip of the bubbly beverage. "woah, this is good. what champagne is it?" i ask, picking the bottle up from the bucket, and examining the name. "shawn! a dom perignon 1998? holy shit, this stuff is like 5000 dollars!" i gasp, as he smirks down at me.

"my salary is a little to extortionate, why not have fun with it?" he chuckles.

"5000 for a drink?" i gasp. "i mean, i have dom perignon practically all the time, but 2011 ones, which are literally only 500 to 700 dollars." i tell him, shrugging. "but 5000? this is crazy."

"that just means we have to finish it," he chuckles again, finishing off his champagne in practically a shot. i widen my eyes at him, before placing my glass down, and examining through the menu.

"you're crazy," i whisper, under my breath, whilst shawn just sniggers at me.

yeah, i like this.
-
"god, how much did we drink last night?" shawn groans, placing his hand onto his head, as i moan, tucking my head into his side, trying to block out as much light as i can.

"well, mr 'i have too big a salary so we're gonna drink this entire bottle of champagne' i'm guessing about six glasses each?" i say quietly to him, as he chuckles gently, holding an arm over my shoulders.

"why did we go so crazy?" he asks. "i feel like 10,000 pounds lighter right now, did we seriously spend that much?"

"i mean, after i forced you to split the 20,000 bill, i'm guessing we did spend a lot," i tell him, untucking my head from his chest, looking up, as he reaches over, handing me his bottle of water, and a couple of painkillers. "you know what i could go for right now? a big mac, with large fries, and a vanilla milkshake, with a mc flurry on the side."

"you're definitely hungover," he mumbles, chuckling at me. "you definitely beat my hangover foods."

"really? i'm pretty sure i did the 10,000 calorie challenge after my graduation." i respond, taking the two pills, the painkillers soothing my headache slightly. "what's yours like?"

"literally maybe some tim bits, a breakfast sandwich, and a soda. after that, i'm fine." he shrugs, taking the water from me, and taking two pills for himself. "okay, pull on some clothes, and we'll go find a mc donalds."

"you're the best," i grin, leaning towards him, and kissing his jawline delicately, before standing up from the bed, and pulling a pair of yoga pants and one of shawns t-shirts over me, before tying my very messy hair into a ponytail, and brushing my teeth.

i stroll back into the main room, seeing shawn dressed in a pair of gym shorts, and his crossfit hoodie. he slides his wallet into his shorts pocket, before grabbing his phone. "ready?" he asks me gently.

"yeah, let's go." i nod, linking my hand with his larger one.

we leave the hotel, walking around the streets, trying to find a mc donalds, or any fast food place for that matter. we finally come across a mc donalds, rushing inside, and shawn immediately going up to the tills to order us some food.

"babe, what mc flurry did you want?" shawn asks, looking up from the cashier.

"creme egg please," i grin at him, as he tells the woman behind the desk our order.

"thank you," shawn responds, taking the receipt and walking back over to me, whilst we wait for the food to be ready. "okay fatty, after this why don't we go get some pizza?"

"sounds like a good plan." i grin, pecking his cheek gently, leaving a blush to settle over his cheekbones. "you're so cute, bless."

"shut up anya," shawn blushes a brighter red, holding my side, and tucking his head into my neck, making me laugh gently.

in that moment, that very hungover moment, i couldn't wish for more. i was happy with shawn, and i just hope that it will stay like this.