~

Jungkook was currently seated on the old worn-out couch in his house, trying to run back time and understand how he even ended up here, ended up here with Jimin out of all people. He pressed his hand against the bullet wound on his back, feeling the warmth of his own blood seep into his hand as he watched Jimin run a shaky hand through his hair. Then the man turned to him and pointed to his wound, eyes squinted and brows drawn together in what looked like concern; Jungkook hoped it was concern.

"Could you sit down for a minute? I owe you a lot of explaining and I need you to listen to me." Jimin pointed to his wound again, a bit more frantic this time, and Jungkook frowned. "First aid kit? It's somewhere in the bathroom I think, Seokjin kept it in the lower cabinet."

Jimin returned to the living room with a first-aid box in hand, and Jungkook simply stared with round eyes as the mute man bent down to his level hesitantly.

"Can I talk to you—"

Jimin pointed at Jungkook's shirt, gesturing him to take it off so he could inspect his wound better. Jungkook tried to move to do what he was told but pain shot through his arm and he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Fucking bitch," he swore under his breath, directed more at the wound than at the men who had given him said wound.

Jimin sighed and took the mechanic's free hand, the one that wasn't smeared with his own blood. He traced words onto his palm, trying not to flinch away under Jungkook's scrutinizing stare.

"Let you do it? Let you do what?" Jungkook furrowed his brows when he didn't receive a reply. Instead Jimin moved to the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors. "Wait, I'm pretty sure bullet wounds don't require stitches why are you grabbing scissors? Are you trying to kill me? I told you I would explain everything to you—"

Jimin held the scissor in front of Jungkook's mouth, immediately causing the man to shut up and stop talking. Satisfied, Jimin brought the scissors under the hem of Jungkook's shirt and started cutting up the material.

"You're scary," Jungkook muttered, receiving a glare in response. Jimin's eyes were narrowed and Jungkook could almost envision him saying you  don't say shit if he could talk.

Once Jimin had successfully cut up the side of Jungkook's shirt, he pulled the material away from the man's body easily, the fabric coming off to reveal strong, solid muscles. Jungkook could see a dark shade of red creep up Jimin's neck and ears but he convinced himself he might have been wrong about what he had seen.

Turn around and lay on your stomach, Jimin mouthed, looking through the first-aid box to find whatever he wanted. Jungkook obeyed, not wanting to scare or apprehend Jimin again. This was his only chance, his only opportunity to explain himself and what Jimin had seen that day.

Jungkook knew he should not be doing this, he should not be explaining himself because there was no reason to. Jimin was just a random man who had come to Busan for vacation, Jimin was just another person who looked good, Jimin was just one of the people he had kissed, Jimin was just a stranger and not even a friend, heck, Jungkook didn't know anything about the man looming over him with alcohol pads and bandages and medical tape in hand. But Jungkook wanted to come clean and explain himself to the man regardless, because Jimin really wasn't just another person to him.

Jungkook turned his face so he could still look at Jimin from the position he was laying in, and once he took in the man's shaking eyes darting around in fear, he immediately felt alarmed.

"I won't hurt you," Jungkook frowned, trying to sit up, but Jimin pressed him back to his original position. "Please, I know it's a lot to ask but trust me when I say I won't hurt you."

Jimin crouched onto his knees, close to Jungkook's face so he could communicate with the man. What happened, he mouthed, eyes brimming with concern, and Jungkook wanted to slap himself.

Here was Park Jimin, still looking concerned for a man he had witnessed murdering someone. Here was Park Jimin, looking at the stupid scars on his back that had not yet completely healed.

What happened, Jimin mouthed again, hesitantly lifting a hand to trace one of the scars. Jungkook drew in a sharp breath, closing his eyes as he thought about how to answer the question. What happened to you, Jimin traced onto his arm this time, fingers shaking when Jungkook opened his eyes and they locked gazes.

"Why do you care?" Jungkook questioned instead, wanting to punch himself right after when he saw Jimin's face fall even more. "It doesn't matter."

These are pretty fresh, Jimin mouthed, unfazed by Jungkook's response. What happened?

"I got whipped," Jungkook watched Jimin's eyes widen in shock at the words and he realized being whipped wasn't an everyday thing outside the gang. "Fuck it, like I said, doesn't matter."

Of course it matters, Jimin mouthed as wrung his hands together, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of Jungkook getting whipped. No one deserved that, absolutely no one in this world deserved to be put through such pain. Who did this to you? Have you called the police?

"Jimin," Jungkook snickered, turning away, "you called the police on me."

You tried to kill me, Jimin countered, moving away from the mechanic in case he decided to lash out or snap at him. But Jungkook only cursed under his breath, hurt eyes turning back to look at him.

"I did not," Jungkook answered truthfully, his eyes clear with honesty as he spoke, "I would never. But I had to— you don't understand, you wouldn't understand. I had to do something, I couldn't just stand and— fuck, there was so much going on in my head you won't understand."

Jimin seemed to hesitate for quite a few minutes, opening his mouth and closing it again, pondering over his words carefully so he wouldn't make a mistake. Jungkook watched as the man rubbed his forehead with his fingers, finally locking eyes with him again.

Make me understand, he mouthed, taking Jungkook by surprise. Jimin's cheeks flushed the slightest bit as Jungkook stared at him, mouth hanging open at the words. Grandma seems to like you a lot and she is a very good judge of character, Jimin gulped, fiddling with his own fingers, so I'll give you a chance to explain why you did what you did.

"Thank you," Jungkook said shakily, closing his eyes for a brief second before he opened them again, "thank you, I'll get right into it."

Jimin nodded awkwardly, grabbing the alcohol pads and moving to Jungkook's back to wipe around the wound. Jungkook hissed when the pad came in contact with the wound, his back arching the slightest bit.

"That hurts," he muttered, chewing his lip. "Okay shit, let me start. Just listen to me without interfering, let me tell you everything."

Jungkook couldn't see Jimin but he felt the man hesitate for a brief second, clearly giving away that he was listening to every word Jungkook had to say.

"My mother had me when she was fifteen," Jungkook started, eyes trained on the leather material of the couch. "It was an accident, two reckless teenagers fucking around while drunk, it was a mistake. She was kicked out the night she gave birth to me with just enough money to get through a week, a disgrace to the family was what they had called her."

Jungkook felt Jimin's hands touch his back every now and then as he cleaned the wound. He sighed, forcing himself to continue. "She worked odd jobs to make money for rent, and we almost always had no food in the house. I never went to school and I never bothered asking her to send me because I knew how much she struggled even for rent." Jungkook recalled his mother returning home with bruises on her body and he closed his eyes, trying to erase the memory. "She worked in brothels and— I was only five but I would see her come home with bruises on her body every single night. Fingerprints, teeth marks, sometimes even belt marks and I— fuck, she was a beautiful woman but they destroyed her, they destroyed her body and her soul so much Jimin."

Jimin felt his eyes water as he heard Jungkook speak. He had finished cleaning the wound now and his hands shook as he tried to take out the bullet from where it was embedded in skin.

"I wanted to help her as much as I could, so when I was eight I started working in a small liquor shop. It was an illegal trade, but they paid me to keep bottles from being stolen and I needed the money. I got paid to beat people up, sometimes I got beaten up in the process but I never let a single bottle get stolen—" Jungkook paused in between to hiss at the excruciating pain that shot down his spine when Jimin pulled out the bullet. "That hurts like a bitch," he groaned.

I'm sorry, he felt Jimin trace onto his back and Jungkook felt his head spin. He didn't understand why Jimin was apologizing, he didn't understand why Jimin was such a sweetheart, he didn't understand just how Jimin could be so kind.

"When I was nine I came home late one night to find her on the bathroom floor, eyes rolled to the back of her head. She had overdosed. She had rid herself of all the pain she had had to endure because of me. I wouldn't blame her, she gave me whatever she could for as long as she was alive."

Jimin had finished bandaging the wound by now and he helped Jungkook sit up, gentle hands running down his arm as if to comfort him. Jimin knew what it felt like to lose a mother, so he could very well understand how the mechanic would have felt.

"She had never told me she loved me, but of course, who even would? Me coming into her life had just torn it apart, broken her into pieces until there was nothing to break anymore, until she had given in and shattered the last piece of her soul herself." Jimin felt a teardrop run down his cheek and he hurriedly wiped it away, not wanting Jungkook to see. The mechanic now stared into space as he spoke, "For three years I wandered around the streets aimlessly. Often times I would sneak in to watch underground boxing matches, and it always gave me a rush of adrenalin. I was twelve, I got caught trying to sneak into a match, and the guards were instructed to beat me up to a point that I wouldn't ever dream of entering without a proper ticket again."

Jimin unconsciously scooted closer to Jungkook, their arms pressed together. Jungkook felt warmth seep into his skin at the contact and he sighed.

"I got beaten up pretty bad, but I beat them back as well. One of the guards passed out, the other four had some pretty nasty injuries. When they retreated I scurried away for as far as my limbs would take me. Then I passed out in some alley." Jungkook gulped, switching his gaze onto the fan that spun above them. "The Supreme One found me and took me home with him. I was told later that he had seen me take five guards on my own and he was impressed. I didn't know where I was or what I was doing, but he had given me a new start in life, a good start with enough money, and all I had to do in return was to sell drugs and give him the money I made."

Jimin realized where this was going and he bounced his leg nervously. "For two years I sold drugs with Hoseok," Jimin's eyebrows shot up at the familiar name but Jungkook continued, "then The Supreme One opened up other opportunities for each of us so we could make our own money apart from what we made from the gang. That's when I got this garage, at the age of fourteen, and I loved it because I made a good amount every month just by repairing vehicles. It was easy money."

Jimin felt Jungkook tense up in between and he shifted even closer, their thighs touching now.

"I don't remember when it started but we weren't selling drugs anymore. I was asked to collect debts and murder anyone who had exceeded the deadline. I did what was asked of me." Jungkook chipped at his fingernails. "All these people I murder, they are involved with the gang knowing fully well what they were getting themselves into. They gambled, lost money, took loans, plotted against The Supreme One, cheated him of his money; such people we were asked to kill without a second thought. And I did, I killed them without a second thought."

Jimin shivered, remembering how Jungkook had shot the man without any hesitance that day.

"We have rules, certain rules we need to follow loyally since we are part of the gang," Jungkook looked over at Jimin as he spoke, "I followed them perfectly well Jimin. I was supposed to be the heir, I was supposed to be the next leader. But then you came along and—"

Jungkook hesitated, but he slowly raised his hand to Jimin's face. As expected, the latter flinched the slightest bit, and Jungkook knew it was all his fault. He cautiously ran a finger down Jimin's cheek, noting how his skin was soft to touch. "You came along and ruined me. I don't know what took over me, I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know if I was thinking at all. That day I saw you in the alleyway, you looked so frightened and disgusted and I— we aren't supposed to let witnesses escape, it's one of the most important rules. You put me in such a tough spot there, especially when you called the fucking police even though I was begging you not to. I can't blame you, I mean, you had just witnessed murder. But fuck, Jimin, I couldn't bring myself to hurt you, let alone think about killing you."

Jimin held onto Jungkook's hand, squeezing it in reassurance, though it was more for his own comfort. All this information was a little too overwhelming, this was all too complicated and Jimin was at a loss for words.

"In all these years that I've worked for the gang, we have never given ourselves away, never. But the one time we did, it had to be you out of all people. I'm starting to think God hates me." He chuckled, no humor whatsoever, and turned to face Jimin again. This time the latter was staring back at him; wide, innocent eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Why are you crying?" Jungkook thumbed below Jimin's eyes, wiping away the tears that managed to escape. "I told you I wouldn't hurt you, I mean it. I promise."

Jimin shook his head, removing Jungkook's hand from his face. Are those because of me?

Jungkook frowned at the question, not understanding it the first time. "What?"

Jimin traced his hands along Jungkook's back, fingers shaking as they ran across the raised skin, eyes watering more when he felt the scars under his fingers. Are those because of me? Did you get whipped because you let me go?

Jungkook held onto Jimin's wrist to stop him from tracing his scars again. He forced the man to look at him, to look into his eyes. "They're because of me, I wanted to let you go, it's not your fault."

Jimin felt his heart tighten painfully in his chest. All this while he had been thinking Jungkook was some sort of monster who had tried to kill him, when in reality the man had risked himself by letting Jimin go. He was still peeved about the murder he had witnessed but now Jimin felt a little better at knowing Jungkook wasn't a psychopath who killed people for fun. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize he was shaking, didn't realize that his breathing was becoming more ragged with each passing second, didn't realize that his chest was rising and falling a bit too rapidly.

"Hey," Jungkook frowned, looking Jimin up and down in worry as the latter struggled to catch his breath. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Jimin shook his head, frantic hands reaching for his own chest to rub over his heart and get it to calm down. Jungkook felt something weird in the pit of his stomach at the sight. He had seen his mother in this condition quite a lot when he was young. And there was only one thing that would put her to ease.

"Shhh," he muttered, pulling Jimin into a one-armed hug from around his shoulders. "You're okay, just breathe, I got you." He rubbed Jimin's back gently, one hand resting in his raven hair, massaging his scalp so he would calm down. "Breathe, you're okay, you're strong."

Jungkook felt Jimin's chest rise and fall a bit more evenly now, and his breathing slowly returned to normal. Jimin's forehead was pressed against his shoulder, his hands unconsciously pressing against his bare chest, and Jungkook ignored the burning he felt all over his body.

"Better?" He asked when Jimin pulled away. The man flushed, running a hand through his hair and averting his gaze. Jungkook smiled when he realized one of Jimin's hands was entwined with his. "My mother used to have some nasty panic attacks all the time."

Jimin let out a breath he had been holding and turned to look at the mechanic. I'm so sorry, he mouthed, bringing his other hand up to Jungkook's chest to trace the next words, for reminding you of your mother. It must be painful.

Jungkook stared at the man in front of him incredulously, finding himself unable to believe how such a kind human could exist. Jimin had scooted away from the mechanic, cheeks now tinted pink, and Jungkook felt his heart thump a little too loud in his chest.

Fuck, he thought to himself as he stared at the smaller man, I'm so screwed.

"If anything I have to apologize to you," Jungkook smiled softly, squeezing Jimin's hand that was still entwined with his, in turn causing the latter to blush more. "Do I scare you?"

Jimin hesitated before he lifted his free hand, a tiny gap between his index finger and thumb as he mouthed, just a little bit.

Jungkook smiled at the cute gesture. "Do you trust me?"

Jimin hesitated again, seeming to ponder over his thoughts before he answered. Did he trust Jungkook? Did he trust a man who had murdered someone? Did he trust everything the man had told him even though it was all very overwhelming?

Grandma always tells me that when people speak, their eyes give out their true intentions no matter how hard they may try to mask it, Jimin traced the words rapidly onto the mechanic's hand. Your eyes are the most clear ones I have seen, so I guess I have to believe you.

Jungkook's grin widened and he bit his lip. He would always fail to understand how Jimin could think so pure.

"If you trust me," Jungkook chuckled, "we can work on erasing your fear of me in no time."

~

note:
it's been so long arghhh i'm sorry :(
here's a slightly long update to make it up to yall
hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter :')
i should have probably put this right at the beginning of this chapter but listen to i wouldn't know any better by gentle bones it's such a beautiful song <3