~

Yoongi found himself gasping awake, his breaths a little too shallow from the frightening imagery in his head. He threw the sheets off himself and stood, hands shaking as he ran fingers through his hair to sweep the messy strands away from his face. The cold wooden floor beneath his bare feet felt comforting as he paced around the room, wondering why a nightmare had popped up out of nowhere in his head, a horrific nightmare at that.

The mirror opposite his bed reflected his image and Yoongi frowned, noticing how much of a mess he looked. His cotton shirt was wrinkled everywhere and his pants slightly stuck to his legs due to sweat. His eyes were puffy from just having woken up and his lips were chapped. He ran his tongue across his lips, cringing at how rough they seemed.

"Yoongi?" A voice echoed in his dark room as someone switched the lights on, completely startling him.

"Fucking hell," Yoongi muttered, squinting his eyes to adjust to the brightness, finally noticing Taehyung standing by the doorway. "Give a drowsy man some fair warning before you switch on the lights next time maybe."

"Sorry," the man smiled apologetically, stepping closer to Yoongi. 

Yoongi watched Taehyung's smile turn into a frown and he furrowed his brows wondering why. Just as he opened his mouth to ask Taehyung what had happened, the latter held his arm, leaning in to take a closer look at his face.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Yoongi cocked his head to one side.

"There's dried tear tracks on your face Yoongi," Taehyung spoke in a softer tone, long fingers reaching out to trace the tracks on Yoongi's face, much to his surprise. "You've been crying? Why?"

Yoongi stepped away from Taehyung's touch, rushing towards the mirror, and he wanted to scream because Taehyung was right. There were indeed two long tracks running down his face, unmistakably those of tears. He whipped around to face a concerned Taehyung.

"I didn't realize I cried," he whispered, moving to his bed and sitting on the soft mattress. "Just a bad dream, don't worry about me."

Taehyung watched Yoongi in silence for a few seconds, the ticking of an alarm clock being the only sound in the room. Yoongi traced random patterns across his sheets, eyes focused on a wrinkle so he wouldn't have to face Taehyung, not after the man had caught his tears.

"Yoongi," Taehyung's voice was pressing now, a pressing need to help Yoongi with whatever had happened in his bad dream or to at least make him talk about it so he wouldn't face his fears alone.

"Don't worry about me," the man repeated, pulling the covers over his face and snuggling into his mattress to hide from Taehyung. "I'm fine, thank you for checking up on me. You should go back to sleep. I've noticed you haven't been sleeping well lately. Go." 

Yoongi heard the man sigh and then soft footsteps echoed as he made his way out of the room. Yoongi let out a relieved breath, thankful that Taehyung had left without probing further. He did not want to relive the fresh haunting image that had woken him up in a frenzy.

"Yoongs?" A different voice echoed in his room this time and Yoongi stopped moving, his body suddenly becoming stiff when he realized who it was. "Fuck, Yoongs."

And then Yoongi found himself wedged into Hoseok's warmth, the latter encasing him into the most comforting cuddle from behind. Yoongi gulped, trying not to pay extra attention to the way Hoseok's arm felt around his thin waist.

"Tae told me what was up." Yoongi huffed silently, rolling his eyes. Of course Taehyung had told Hoseok. "What got you so shaken up that you cried?"

Yoongi could easily make out how distressed Hoseok was by the tear tracks on his face. He closed his eyes, desperately wishing Hoseok would leave him alone too. Out of all people, he didn't want to see Hoseok at the moment, because his worried face brought back Yoongi's nightmare all over again.

"Talk to me," Hoseok pleaded, turning Yoongi around in his arms so that they were facing each other. "You don't have to suffer alone."

"You died," Yoongi said, voice monotonous in a strong attempt to contain his emotions behind his skin and not let it surface. "You died in my dream Hoseok. I watched you smile at me one last time as you took a bullet between your eyes and—"

"Yoongs stop," Hoseok frowned deeper, forehead pressed against his. Yoongi hadn't realized how he had started shaking and fresh tears had welled up in his eyes until Hoseok gently wiped away a stray teardrop that had managed to escape. "Stop, okay? Nothing will happen to me, you hear me?"

Yoongi laughed, sitting up and holding his head in his hands. Hoseok followed and sat up too, one hand placed firmly on Yoongi's back for support. "We are part of the most notorious gang in the whole of Busan and you are here telling me nothing's going to happen to you."

"Look at me," Hoseok spoke softly, patting Yoongi's back, "look at me Yoongs." 

Yoongi refused, scooting away from Hoseok as the man drew closer. He wiped away his own tears and stared at the dark skies outside his window. "I joined the gang when I was twenty because my father was dying of cancer and I needed money for his treatment, I desperately needed money. And the things I did for the gang, it gave me more than enough money to pay for his medical bills. So I didn't care, I didn't at all care about all the blood on my hands."

"Yoong—"

"Listen to me!" Yoongi yelled, cutting Hoseok off, causing the latter to flinch at the sound. Yoongi's eyes immediately softened and he clenched his teeth in frustration. "I'm sorry just— please listen to me this once without interrupting me."

Hoseok nodded, smiling softly as if to tell Yoongi there was nothing to apologize for. He patted Yoongi's arm, encouraging him to continue.

"He died, as was eventually supposed to happen, and I found myself slipping into a really dark place," Yoongi sounded almost ashamed at this point. "I blamed myself, thinking I wasn't able to provide him with the best medical facilities and that was why he died. I found myself admiring my own blood on my hands, it was a dark hole I fell into."

Yoongi felt Hoseok move closer to him, instinctively trying to provide comfort.

"The gang that I had to join for money, the same people picked me up and pumped life back into me Hoseok. Before I even realized they became family to me. And even if I weren't sworn to loyalty, I would still be a part of them, even if it cost my life. But you—"

Yoongi hesitated, reaching out to grab Hoseok's hand. The latter squeezed the pale hand in his as if in reassurance.

"Sometimes I think I should have kept you away from this mess, away from me. Because if anything happened to you while you were on one of your missions, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I wanted this? Maybe I wanted to find a family too and forget about all that happened to me before you found me?"

Hoseok sounded disappointed and Yoongi felt a tweezing feeling in his heart. He had never thought about it from Hoseok's point of view, never.

"If anything I'm glad you found me that night Yoongs. You only gave me a chance to start over in life and I will embrace it. I think all of us here knew what we were signing up for when we decided to join the gang."

Hoseok smiled at Yoongi, thumb running gently below his eye. He pulled Yoongi back so the man was laying on his side.

"Go to sleep, don't stress about unnecessary things."

Yoongi felt the bed move as Hoseok stood, stretching his arms above his head. His t-shirt rode up just a little bit but enough to give Yoongi a glimpse of his melanin skin. Yoongi gulped, turning the other way and closing his eyes so sleep would just take him already. 

Should I ask him to stay, Yoongi thought, chewing his lip.

The more Yoongi stressed about whether or not he should ask Hoseok to stay, the more he felt weird feelings bubble up in his stomach. He finally sighed, knowing it had been too long and Hoseok would have left, and so he turned to his side. His eyes widened when he saw Hoseok leaning against the doorframe, smirking back at him.

"You could have just asked me to stay you know?"

Yoongi's face flushed but he tried to cover it up by narrowing his eyes at the man. "I don't know actually, so please leave."

Hoseok laughed, walking over to the bed and slipping in beside Yoongi, one arm carelessly draping itself across the blond man's waist. Yoongi stared at Hoseok's face, he seemed close, very close.

"I like this," Hoseok whispered, a small smile playing at his lips. "I like being with you this way, where you don't yell at me all the time."

"I don't yell at you," Yoongi said, voice a little too soft for his liking. He felt Hoseok's fingers trail up his spine and he shivered. "Stop."

"Why?" Hoseok's smile grew as he took in the red that dusted Yoongi's cheeks. He liked making Yoongi blush, he really liked it.

"Stop," Yoongi groaned when he felt Hoseok's fingers trail up his neck now.

"Why? Because you don't like what my touch does to you?"

Hoseok got his reply in the form of a kick that managed to push him off the bed and onto the hard wooden floor beneath. He hissed, holding onto his back and glaring up at Yoongi, yet there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"That's funny," Yoongi blinked innocently, "so your touch makes me want to kick you, noted."

"That's the most bullshit thing I've heard you say," Hoseok laughed, but his laugh died out almost instantly when he noticed Yoongi grab the AC remote from his bed. "No wait don't throw that at me!" Hoseok scrambled to his feet, hands held out in front of him almost defensively.

"Idiot," Yoongi muttered, chuckling to himself as he placed the remote back on his bed. 

~

note:
update dayyy :')
i know it's supposed to be a jikook story and i promise i'll give you guys satisfactory jikook in the next chapter 
i've not been able to stay on wattpad for long for the past four days and hence i couldn't get much writing done, i'm sorry :(
thank you for reading my books and if you're reading this ily so much <3
um and i'd love to get to know yall so like, let's start with this chapter i guess?
my favorite sport is basketball and i play power forward, what's your favorite sport?
(don't be weirded out by me sksks i just want to make more friends on here)