Manik

Fuck!

I definitely was not expecting that to happen. This wasn't how today was supposed to go down. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, instead it became the worst. It was like a twist of fate, a total nightmare. Someone please pinch me, I have to be dreaming this up! I dreamed we would get engaged, then married and we would live happily ever after. This definitely complicates things. My past came to bite me in the ***!
I really feel like a complete jerk for saying all the crap to her years ago. She really didn't deserve that. I truly do feel bad about breaking her heart, but I was a stupid teenager, who thought he was just super cool in every aspect. I remember when I made her my new target. I liked to challenge myself back then, to see how much my looks could accomplish. Nandini was different from the rest of the girls, even back then. She wore traditional clothes all the time and now I finally realize why she looked so familiar that day when I came to her house. She was wearing a traditional suit, just like then. I'd like to wish I didn't make out with that random girl in front of her. I feel awful about everything, but what she did was equally bad. She used me just to hurt me, so how is that any better than what I did?

I truly do love Nandini. I don't know what it is about her that I find so amazing. She isn't the prettiest girl I have ever seen, but she has this awesome personality. She always keeps me on my toes. I can have decent conversations with her, even if most of it is witty comments back and forth. I don't know what I am going to do now. I can't just let the love of my life, walk out of my life. Even if she doesn't like me, she will. I'll make sure of it!

Tears form stream down my face as I remember Nandini's words. Those words had cut through me deeply. Her words echo in my ear, "I HATE YOU MANIK MALHOTRA!" It's such a strong word and it hurt me immensely. I don't know how to make her believe I have truly changed. I can't believe she turned me into this complete mess. Look at me, I'm crying over a girl... but a beautiful girl,with a beautiful soul! I have become some kind of sappy raving lunatic. I really need a drink.

I get myself up and walk towards my car, alone. I sit in the passenger seat and look next to me to see the empty passenger seat next to me. She should have been next to me, wearing my engagement ring. Instead I'm alone and a complete mess at that. I look into my rear view mirror and notice my bloodshot eyes. I drive around, eventually stopping the car at a random club and make my way in. As soon as I enter I feel the girls in the room staring at me. I ignore their stares and sit myself down at the bar. I plan on completely getting wasted tonight, all thanks to the vindictive Nandini Murthy.

I can't believe Nandini would do something so cruel. She looks so innocent, she didn't act innocent but that's besides the point. She led me to believe that I had an actual chance with her. All this time she was just using me to hurt me in the end. I never in a million years would have pegged Nandini to do something like this. I think it hurts more because I trusted her with my heart. She knew I loved her, even before I said it. I feel so hollow inside knowing that she betrayed me, the love of my life betrayed me. I have to do something though. I need to devise some type of plan, but first I need a drink!

The bartender hands me the beer I ordered and I chug it down all at once. I order another one, feeling a little light headed all of the sudden. I start drinking the second one and turn around on the bar stool to look over at the dance floor. I see all these happy couples having the time of their lives dancing together. How I wish that could be Nandini and me. I know it will happen one day, whether Nandini likes it or not. Looks like I'm going to have to come up with a very devious scheme to master this plan of mine. I slowly turn towards the stage and sip my drink as I hear the singer of the club sing.

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye

I reflect over all that happened today and a tear escapes
my eye. My hand finds its way into my pocket
and pulls out the black box. I stare at the ring in my
hand as more tears run down my cheek.

Jab tadapta hai kabhi.. apna koi
Khoon ke aasoon... rulaade bebasi
Jab tadapta hai kabhi.. apna koi
Khoon ke aasoon... rulaade bebasi
Jeeke phir karna kya... mujhko aisi zindagi
Jeeke phir karna kya... mujhko aisi zindagi
Jisne zakhmon ko nahi marham diye

I start to feel a little suffocated by the memories.
I drink more, trying to rid the pain in my heart.
I really feel helpless at the moment. I feel like no
matter what I say or do, nothing can make it better.
I feel like giving up on life altogether, after all what's life
without Nandini? It's not a life I am willing to lead.

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye

I drink more as the song pours out all my emotions
better than I ever could. The first time I ever knew the
meaning of love and I lost her before my love story
could actually begin.

Apne bhi pesh aaye.. hamse ajnabee
Waqt ki saajish...koi samjha nahi
Apne bhi pesh aaye.. hamse ajnabee
Waqt ki saajish...koi samjha nahi
be iraada.. kuch khata yeh, hamse hogayi
Raah mein patthar meri hardam diye

I thought I could trust Nandini with my heart, but I learned
the hard way. She broke my heart so carelessly, so easily.
I know I made mistakes in the past, but I changed.
Can't she see that?

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye

I can't believe she said she hates me.
I refuse to believe it. If she did hate me then what
was last night? No one makes love to the person
they claim to hate ...no one.

Ek mukkammal kashmakash hai zindagi..
Usne hamse ki kabhi na.. dosti
Ek mukkammal kashmakash hai zindagi..
Usne hamse ki kabhi na.. dosti

She was using me all this time and all this time
I thought she was at least attracted to me romantically.
She wasn't. This was all part of her plan. Now it's time to
fight fire with fire.

Jab mili mujhko aasoon ke woh tohfe de gayi
Has sake hum aise mauke kam diye
Jab mili mujhko aasoon ke woh tohfe de gayi
Has sake hum aise mauke kam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye... Sab nam diye

I wipe away the tears away and laugh bitterly about
the way my life turned out. I never thought that my
previous actions would come back to haunt me.
I'm just going to have to fix this.

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeeeeeee

Somehow...
In ways I deserve what I got, but even I'm not going to take this lightly. I have to do something in return, something not so nice. God, why do I have to resort to bad behavior? I mean seriously, she is bringing out the Monster in me right now. I just know that whatever I do, the end result should lead to our happily ever after, but nothing is ever easy. I think I may have to turn into bad boy Malhotra for a while, Monster in her language...until I see this plan thoroughly. I'm not going to let her be stubborn and ruin both of our lives. She claims not to love me, but I know deep down she does. Why else did she look so hurt when she was trying to hurt me? She loves me and if she doesn't then she definitely will. After all I am quite lovable. She fell for me once so it shouldn't be too difficult... I hope... after all she too belives in hope!

I really need to crash. WAIT, I DON'T MEAN IT LITERALLY! I just meant I need sleep! I really hope I didn't jinx it. Crap now I'm scared to drive my baby home. I don't think I'm that drunk to crash, I mean I had like what three or four beers... I should be fine. I decide to get into my car and drive extra carefully back home. I start cheering when I reach my house and then upon closer inspection I notice it is actually Nandini's house. I curse under my breath because of my really crappy luck. I get back in the car after all the commotion I just caused, hoping that no one saw me like this. I drive off towards my own house this time and stagger up the stairs until I finally reach my door. I sigh in relief knowing that this is actually the right house. I go up to my room and collapse on the bed knowing that I will have to do something about my little situation and soon! After all I am The Manik Malhotra....her Monster.

*******
Monster Mode on 😈