In the police car, the cop said, "Your black ass been sellin' crack?". The cop had a gruff but kind of feminine voice.

"Don't be a racist and no I don't sell crack," I replied.

"Hmm-Mmm, I can't trust black folks," The cop said, "We're gonna do a cavity search for crack cocaine as soon as we drop your unruly ass in prison"

"Wait...cavity search?" I asked. "I didn't even do anything".

"Except being a damn blackie," the cop said.

"That's just plain racist," I commented, "I should jump up and attack your cracker-looking..." the cop reached back and tazed me.

"Aaah, I love the smell of fried nigger," the cop said before we got to the jail.

The cop walked up to various cells and I followed. We came up to Thomas' cell and the cop unlocked him.

"You're a free man, now," the cop said. Thomas jumped out and said, "Woo-Hoo! I hope London did a good job covering for my blog!"

Then the cop walked me to a white room with a bench and pushed me into a wall. She then yanked my boxers off and started soanking me.

"Racist tramp, what the hell are you doing?" I asked.

The cop took her mask off and....

"It's me, Joshie," Marriam said. She started laughing

"Ohhhhhhh," I said, "Hmm, that prank was a little mean but looking back, pretty funny"

"Yep, I love you Joshie," she said, "And I just wanted to give you something to remember before I leave today"

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I'm going back to Korea"

"Korea? That's where the evil man lives!"

"Nahhhh, I'm just playin' with ya. I got two tickets to the opening of the Mangroove Mall and I'm goin' with your sister"

"Oh....But I'm gonna miss you Mary"

"I'm gonna miss you too, but don't worry. I'll bring you something back", and with that, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room. I put my boxers back on and followed her back to the room at London Boardwalk. Once we walked in, Mariah jumped up, said, "Bae!", and gave Marriam a gigantic hug

"Aww, you're so cute and warm," Marriam said, then she gave Mariah a quick peck on the lips. "Let me change real quick and I'll be right back".

She ran to the bathroom, quickly threw on a white shirt with a black jacket and shorts, then ran back out.

"Alright, you two behave at the mall, or you will get severely punished," I commented.

Marriam laughed and said, "I like being 'severely punished', but anyways, gotta go!"

They both ran out the room, laughing.

Just then, Andrew walked in and said, "What's up everybody!". A cherry-like aroma then struck my nose

"Why do you smell like a woman?" I asked him.

"Just been to the shower with a lovely lady," he said.

"Oh, please don't tell me you laid Mary Jane," I said, "I saw you run off with her in your arms"

"Oh no, I didn't do that," he replied.

Just then, the TV, which was set on Drake & Josh, switched to an NTSC Test screen and started beeping.

"Oh crap!" Monica said. She then hid under the couch.

"Me too sista!" Sonya cried. She hid behind the couch and held Monica.

"Y'all a bunch of pussycats," Kenyelle commented

A news anchor came on the TV and he began to say

"19-year-old Andrew Warren has been accused of violating 35-year-old Mary Jane, leader of the Dick Rehab Services. According to various sources, he was seen attacking her at the shower and making her walk naked around the laundromat. This is the first time Mary Jane has been seen with a man in ten years, and based on her personality, this was a vicious attack, as she openly hates men. Right now we have two eyewitnesses who saw the incident"

Two teens who looked like Beavis and Butthead appeared on the screen

"Beavis and Butthead, can you tell us about this horrific, terrible incident?"

"Heh heh," Butthead began to explain, "He like, touched her n' stuff "

"Heh heh heh heh heh huh huh heh heh," they both laughed

The news anchor said, "You two have been a big help in the case, thank you"

"Hey Butthead, he said 'big'," Beavis said.

"Heh heh heh heh heh huh huh heh heh"

They then left the screen and Marina came in.

"Andrew, If you're watching, hurting women is bad. That's a no-no. No no no no no no no no. You're a bad boy, bad! Go to your room"

When Marina walked off, Butthead said from the off, "Hey baby, Wanna do it?" with Beavis saying "Boiyoyoyoyoyoyoing". A loud smack was heard.

Andrew grabbed a water bottle, threw it at the TV and said, "Turn this damn thing off right freakin' now!"

"Whoa, just take it easy man," Thomas said.

"That's a flatscreen, nigga," Monica said. She and Sonya emerged from behind the couch.

"I don't care about no flatscreen...well maybe I do...but the whole city thinks I'm a woman-hater!"

Out of the blue, there was a loud pounding on the door, then a beep, then the door burst open into a million flaming pieces a storm of angry people with torches screaming, "Andrew is a demon! Andrew is a demon!"

"We gotta get the hell outta here," Kenyelle said. He grabbed De'asia and ran to the bathroom. We all followed them and scrammed to the bathroom, however, Andrew was scooped up by two members of the riot.

"You should be soooooo ashamed of your self right now," a man in the crowd yelled.

The cops came and yelled, "Drop that man right now!"

The riot dropped Andrew, then the cops tazed him silly as he was flopping in shock.

"Ah, I love the smell of fried nigger," the cop said.

"First off," Andrew said, "Shut the hell up you redneck pig-lover, and second, I would never hurt a woman. I love the ladies too much to harm them"

"After you told that horrendous joke on the news, we can't be sure"

"My friend told me that, I didn't know it would start so much bullshit!"

"Tell it to the judge!"

Andrew was handcuffed and walked out the room by the officers. The riot followed, angrily cheering, "Andrew is a demon!"

In the bathroom, we spread out and Jean Angel started crying.

"Aww, you want your game?" Peaches asked. Jean Angel held the game, slobbed all over it, and laid in Peachrs' arms. London said, "Well now, what the hell are we gonna do?"

"I'll try to find somethin'," I said

I jumped in the bathroom closet and bumped straight into a big brown box. It was labeled, "Childhood Shit". Curiousity filled my mind as I clawed open the box. Once open, I saw an abundance of action figures, Barbie houses flip phones, and even a severed leg. But, what really grabbed my attention was a thick red book with the title, Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf". The cover was an animated Disney-like Red Riding Hood holding hands with the Big Bad Wolf in the forest, with a small black heart in his hands. I opened the book and read the first page:

"Up the field to Gramma's house," sung a young, energetic, and perky Red Riding Hood as she picked red berries off the tall, evergreen myrtle tees that covered a great majority of the forest. She hopped back on her shiny red bike, putting her basket in the back, and pedaled along the dirt trail.

"Hehehehe". A dark laugh cast across the sky. Red Riding Hood was a tad skeptical, but sure that the mysterious laugh was a figment of imagination. Then it repeated, "Hehehehe". She looked behind her and saw a hairy, black, somewhat human-like wolf, scramming across the forest with the basket of berries. Little Red Riding Hood hopped off her bike and rushed through the forest in the wolf's direction to reclaim her berry basket.

"Give me back my berries now!" she yelled.

"Never," the wolf said menacingly.

"Those are for Grandma! Not some ugly wolf!"

"Look little lady, just give me the berries and in return, I will show you pleasures beyond your wildest dreams. I'll show you places even Domald Trump can't afford to visit. You'll be the envy of your favorite celebrities. And all it costs are some damn berries, so what do you say kid?". He then outstretched his hand, waiting for the approval of Little Red Riding Hood.

"This has to be some kid of joke," she said, turning her head away from him.

"I ain't kidding," he said as he dug into his pockets. He pulled out a gold authentic Rolex and a picture of him hogging mountainous piles of cash. Little Red Riding Hood observed carefully as both of the items conflicted her mentaility.

"Grandma can do without the berries this time," she said. She reached her hand out and connected it with the wolf's.

"Come on baby, I'm gonna show you the time of your life," he said as they danced of in the sunset.

"Dang, this is getting good," I said to myself. I creeped out the closet and slid back to the bathroom. Everyone was just busy jumping around

"Guess I gotta wait to show everyone this good book," I said.

"Oh my gosh, you got the book", Peaches said to me with Jean Angel smiling by her side.

"Oh shit, the book," Thomas said. He rushed to the book.

"Holy shit, the book," London said.

"It's the booook!" Johnny yelled as he burst put the cabinet naked.

"The boooooooooook," Monica sung as she trampled over Grady and crawled over to the book.

"OW! You owe me, bitch," Grady said in back pain on the floor

"What the hell everybody talkin' bout?," Azyrea and Emmani said to each other as they went over to the book.

Sonya said, "This must be somethin' good," and ran over to the book.

"What you are holding is a life changing book that has so much power It'll make the toughest guy turn soft and the weakest man turn tough. It'll make the the sweetest girl turn to a witch and a witch turn into the sweetest girl".

I said, "But alright," then I turned the page.

Elsewhere, In the packed City Court, Andrew stood at the defendant's platform Mary Jane was held in a rectangular "trauma box" that came with a microphone and box of heart-shaped chocolate. An officer gave him a cup of tea and said, "Here's some sugar honey iced tea to relieve the tension". Andrew took a sip as the officer went back and said, "Man, this tastes like sh.....you bastard!"

"Now young Andrew, due to your horrific joke, we won't allow you to explain your side of the story," the judge explained, "Instead, we are gonna ask you some hard questions. Did you run off with Mary Jane after your cancelled death?"

"Yes sir," Andrew answered.

"Did you spend time at the public shower with Mary Jane?"

"Yes sir"

The jury grumbled in frustration before the last question, "Now, according to eyewitness testimomy, did you touch her?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Guilty on every charge! Get this boy out of here!"

"Wait!" Mary Jane spoke from the trauma box. "Andrew isn't a rapist. He's a funny and nice young man who really taught me a lot and gave me a once-in-a-lifetime. And even though it might be embarrassing, I enjoyed when he touched me. We shouldn't punish this man any further and let him be free".

The court was silent for a moment, then one man said, "My goodness he has gotten her so scared she's trying to take up for him to save her ass!". The crowd roared in approval. The judge said, "I agree but order in the court".

"Well, I am craving a cheeseburger," Andrew said.

"No, It's not like that, I truly mean it from the depths of my soul," Mary Jane said, but her words were largely overshadowed by the roars of the crowd.

"Shut up!" the judge yelled, "Order!"

Once the ruckus finally calmed, the judge said, "Andrew Warren, you are under arrest for assualt, coersion, blackmail with malicious intent, and conspiracy. I sentence you to 15 years in Ghost Town Jail and another 10 in a behavorial correctional facility. Get him the hell put of my court!" Police officers quickly handcuffed him and escorted him out the courtroom. While the people and jury partied and celebrated, Mary Jane shed a tear in her isolated trauma box.

Meanwhile, Mariah amd Marriam were playing in the lake, just splasing water on each other, pretending they were mermaids and laguhing without a single care in the world.

"Bae! Watch this!" Mariah said before she dived underwater

"Hey, where the hell you'd go?," Marriam asked before she felt a tickling sension between her legs. She let out a mixture of laughter and moans as Mariah's rose back up laughed.

"Oh my gosh, that was so damn funny," Marriam said to Mariah

"I know," Mariah said, "Your face was like...," she cracked a wild wide smile

"Aw, you do me so good," Marriam said, her cheeks turning red.

"I know I do," Mariah said with some sass in her voice, "Come here, Bae"

Marriam leaned forward, Then Mariah jumped on her, almost causing her to fall in the water, and gave her a long, sloppy, tongue kiss.

Just then, Marriam heard a growl. She looked around and saw a bear in near promixity.

"BEAR!"

And with that, Marriam and Mariah ceased everything and took off zig zags.

Marriam said, "I got a gun in my purse..."

"Bitch, I came dressed to kill," Mariah finished off, causing both of them to burst in a fit of laughter while still running.

"2014 was awesome," Marriam said, But, yeah, we're gonna smoke this !"

Just then, the bear just dropped behind them.

The young boy appeared, blowing smoke from his gun, and said, "Honey Glaze ass migga"

"Thanks," Marriam said.

"Whoa! I just saved your life!" He yelled, "Don't I get some sex?"

"Hell no bitch," Marriam and Mariah said together

"I'll get you back for this!" He yelled, "There will be hell to pay!"

Marriam and Mariah then headed back to the pole they hung their clothes and got back dressed. Then they followed the dirt path to the mall in the forest.

"Who the hell throws a mall in the middle of nowhere?!" Marriam yelled.

"Shiiiit, I don't know," Mariah replied.

As they continued their trek, they started to hear conversations that got louder and louder each step, and cars parked on the grass. The dirt path led them to a parking lot packed with cars and anxious teenagers jumping up and down, excitedly waiting for the covered mall to open. A tall man in a blue suit stepped to the front podium and begin to say

"Now, I know you all are very excited for the opening of this brand new mall and hotel, and I don't wanna spoil that. However, there's been a small construction error concerning security, therefore we're allowing you only 1 hour in the mall. We'll probably re-open it tommorow".

The cover on the mall was removed slowly as everyone stared in awe, and finally, it was revealed. A twenty story, brown, polished building by the name of the Chinga Tu Madre Mall, with the hotel section called the Sensenta Nueve Inn.

"Sounds sooo romantic," Marriam whispered. The man cut the red ribbon, and everyone burst through the doors in conflicting droves and flocks. Right in front of the entrance, two people were already on the ground writhing in pain, while getting pummeled by the fast feet of eager shoppers. Marriam and Mariah were nearly trampled, until they randomly kicked and punched everyone near them, leaving even more people on the floor and knocking out entire groups like dominoes.

"I don't think that guy's breathing," Marriam said. "Screw it, let's go".

As they trotted along, Mariah's interest was suddenly sparked. Next to a thriving Red Elephant restaurant was "Max Sugarmony's Body Paint", the title in big red letters.

"Bae! Let's go there!" Mariah said in an innocent voice while pointing to it. Marriam looked at it and stared in awe.

"Oh my gosh, it's THE Max Sugarmony. We used to talk about that guy all the time! Come on!"

As they walked in the body paint store, Marriam smacked Mariah's butt and said, "Ooh, your ass jiggles!"

"I know, right?!" Mariah said excitedly.

"Welcome, how may I paint you?" Max Sugarmony asked.

"Aren't you the guy from LBS that got in trouble for datin' that art model in '98?" Marriam asked

"The one and only," He replied, "I heard LBS turned into a club since I left, is that right?"

"You're looking at the lady who did it," Marriam bragged.

"Some kind of badaas, eh," he commented, "And who's the lovely lady standing next to you?"

"That's my sugar honey nigger girl," Marriam proudly replied as Mariah leaned on her shoulder and smiled

"Sugar honey nigger giiirl," Mariah said to herself, flattered by the name.

"So, how would you like to be...painted?" He asked

"I wanna look like one of them girls from Avatar," Marriam said.

"SPONGEBOB!" Mariah yelled.

"Alright, step into these booths, strip, and I'll be right with you in a jiffy!"

Meanwhile, In the bathroom at our room at London Boardwalk, almost every girl cried due to the events in the book. Monica cried in a sing-song tone, London cried, wiping her tears with a napkin, Sonya bawled her eyes out, De'asia cried in Kenyelle's arms, Both Peaches and Jean Angel produced massive eye-floods, and Kimberly cried in Johnny's lap.

"Wait guys, the last page," I said, wiping away one tear. I then turned to the last page and it read:

"Well I reviewed the evidence a multitude of times. And this is my final word. Little Red Riding Hood, you commited violent acts toward the Big Bad Wolf, but it is pretty damn clear that those actions were in self defense of even more horrendous acts. Therefore the court has found you not guilty!"

Little Red Riding Hood jumped up from her seat and began to dance around with glee. Tears of joy streamed from her eyes. Members of the court began to cheer and throw their hats in the air.

"Order in the court, order in the court!" yelled the judge.

"Now for the Big Bad Wolf here...shame. You are just one despicable individual. After careful examination, the jury has found you guilty of murder, arson, coercion, inflicting mental and emotional trauma, domestic violence, prostitution, sexual assault and battery, and last but not least....jaywalking. For that, you get a life sentence of 25 years! After that, execution! Get him the HELL out of my court!"

The jury went wild, dancing like monkeys, and taunting the Big Bad Wolf as the police handcuffed him and escorted him to jail. Little Red Riding Hood jumped up and began to shout

"Yay! Justice! I'm finally free"

She ran down the aisle admist multiple applause and said, "Gotta make some more Berries for Grandma!"

Then I closed the book and said, "Wow. Just wow"

"Aw man, it was like a rollercoaster," Kenyelle said.

"That was the most jacked-up Red Riding Hood I ever read in my damn life," Azyrea commented.

"I'll be back guys, gotta change Jean Angel's diaper," Peaches said.

While Peaches left, I said, "I wonder who wrote this". I looked on the back of the book and the author was Marriam L. Goldstein.

"My girlfriend wrote this?" I asked

"Damn right," Thomas said. "I got videos of her writing it"

"Well, this is pretty amazing," I said, "Real emotional, too"

"You think we should get it published?" London asked

"There is a reason it was hidden in the box," I said. "Marriam probably doesn't want it published"

"Maybe she does," Thomas said, "Just text her and see"

I pulled out my phone, opened up my Kik, and texted "Bae, you want me to publish your Red Riding Hood Book?"

I got a text back from her that read, "Yea Joshie , but don't be shocked if somethin' goes down. Love you "

"We can publish it guys!" I shouted

"Ah hell yeah," Thomas said.

"How are we gonna do it?" London asked us.

"Next to the Chinese Food Place, there's a old lady that publishes books," Johnny said, "Let's go there!"

"Does it cost money?" Peaches asked, with Jean Angel leaning her on side

"You don't have to pay, but you gotta do stuff for her," Johnny explained

"Hope it ain't nothin' gross," Peaches said

"Me too," I commented.

"Well, let's grab the book and go," London said.

We all left the bathroom, I slyly gave the book to Thomas, threw on some pants that were lying on the floor and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. Down the elevator, out of London Boardwalk, and across the busy streets we walked until we arrived downtown. We passed the Chinese Restaurant, which was in now in flames and had firefighters and firetrucks crowding the sidewalk.

"Damn, what happened to that place?" Monica asked

"I don't wanna talk about it," I said

"Talk or I'll eat your head off," Grady said

"Go eat a firefighter or somethin', lil boy," I replied.

"Speaking of firefighters, they're blocking the damn entrance," Johnny yelled. The firetrucks barricaded the front of the book publishing center, making the title unclear.

"How the hell are we gonna move em' out the way?" London asked.

"I got a plan," Kimberly stated boldly. She walked up to a firefighter and yelled "Cat stuck in a tree!"

There were loud and constant murmurs of "Cat stuck in a tree" between all of the firefighters and the firetrucks quickly departed.

"That was easy," Kimberly commented to herself. We then walked in a small waiting room with brown walls and green chairs surrounding the perimeter. A fish tank with blue and green fish was located in the center. While everyone sat down, Monica took a long observant look at the fish in tank.

"Bet you wanna take home all of them fishes," I teased her.

"Oh my gosh," she laughed, "Shut the hell up, boy"

"Imma be 17 in some months, not a boy," I said as I sat down. Just then, a nurse looking lady came out the corner door.

"You folks want a book published?" She asked.

"Yes, please," Thomas said, holding up the book.

"Well, follow me then," she responded.

She led to another brown room where a plump woman with a colorful dress was eating a McDonald's Big Mac and fries on her desk. She then left us to talk with the woman.

"Yeah, we want our damn book published!" Thomas yelled, pointing the book in her face.

"Let me take a look at it," she said. Thomas gave her the book and she skimmed through it carefully for about three minutes. She closed the book and said, "I don't wanna publish that!"

"Come on," I said, "Why not?"

"Look, it's very great, and the quality is on point, but this is a very contoversial book, and if published, it'll cause a media shitstorm"

"I deal with shitstorms everyday, bitch," Johnny said, "It's called the three taco meal lunch special!". He laughed as everyone hi-fived him.

The woman said, "Look, if you want this shit published..."

"It's actually of high artistic value, please address it as so," I interupted

"If you want this published, you're gonna have to go the extra mile," she then pulled out a gun, "One of you must sacrifice yourselves"

"I vow Grady!" Thomas yelled.

"I vow Thomas!" Grady responded.

The woman laughed and said, "I'm just playing. But I want this man assassinated". She pulled out a picture of a Chinese man with gold teeth. "This man works at the new pawn shop at Governor's Square in Tallahassee. Bring me his head on a silver platter, or your book will get burned"

"Isn't there another way?" I asked

"Nope," she responded.

"Well, I guess this book stays secret then," I said

"Wait, if we kill a man for this book, he'll be remembered as a hero," London said, "Don't look at it as murder, because this guy's gonna die for a cause. To publish the book!"

Everybody cheered then Kimberly grabbed the gun.

"Let's go publish this book!" she cheered with the gun in the air. We then walked out the building.

"Yeah, how the hell are we gonna get to Tallahassee?" Monica asked

"Just hijack a car in the Wal-Mart parking lot," Thomas said.

"I have a bad feeling about this," I said to myself.

Meanwhile, Andrew sat on a rock hard cot in his prison cell while his new roomate, Puffy, a buffed-up teenager in a tank top walked around

"Damn, I'm hungry!" Andrew complained.

"I can make a mean-ass meal," said Puffy in a gruff voice.

"In jail?" Andrew said.

"Hell yeah," Puffy said, "Watch this"

He dropped his pants and walked to the toilet.

"Nigga, that's nasty as hell," Andrew commented, repulsed at what he was seeing.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn," Puffy said.

"Here comes the fun part," he said.

"Oh hell no!" yelled Andrew, "I need to get out!"

"Andrew Warren you have a visitor," the announcer said, "I repeat, Andrew Warren, you have a visitor"

The guard stomped to Andrew's cell amd reluctantly unlcoked his cell, mumbling to himself as Andrew walked out. Andrew walked out to the cell and walked to the visiting room, where Mary Jane was on the opposite side of the glass in tears. A security guard appeared next to her.

"Andrew, I'm sorry," she said, fighting back tears, "I really tried to stand up for you in court, I did, but they didn't listen to me"

"Your efforts are appreciated, baby," Andrew said.

"If only the world knew you weren't a woman-beater," Mary Jane said.

"Wait, this kid didn't assault you?" the guard asked.

"No, he's not," said Mary Jane, "He's completely innocent"

"I got to tell the baliff about this," the gaurd said.

As the guard walked off, Mary Jane said, "You're gonna be a free man"

"Ah, I can't wait," Andrew said, "You wanna go eat some where?"

"Yes," Mary Jane, "Starbucks. They just released their coffee-fried chicken"

"A lil' weird," Andrew replied, "But I bet it's gonna be great"

"Andrew Warren and Mary Jane, please report to the baliff," the announcer said.

Andew and Mary Jane headed to the baliff's office. Mary Jane arrived in a few seconds before Andrew, and once he arrived, they sat in the waiting chair.

"Andrew J. Warren," the baliff said, sipping some coffee and placing his blue mug on his newspaper-littered table, "So it's true you didn't attack Mary Jane?"

"One hundred percent," confirmed Andrew.

"Mary Virginia Jane, are you sure that this guy didn't harm you?" asked the baliff

"Yes sir," Mary Jane replied.

"Are you two one hundred percent true?"

"You bet your life we are," replied Mary Jane.

"Hmm," the baliff said before firing up a cigar, "Tell you what, I'll let you off the hook, but if I catch you making advances towards any woman, not just sweet little Mary Jane, you're going in the slammer, comprendè?"

"Comprendè," Andrew replied.

"You two are free to go," the baliff said before yelling, "Guards!"

Two guards arrived, then they reluctantly escorted Andrew and Mary Jane out of the jail. One guard gave a growl before he walked back in the jail.

"Now that I'm a free man," Andrew said, "Where shall we be heading next?"

"Let's grab something at Starbucks," replied Mary Jane.

"Sounds good to me," said Andrew with a big ol' smile on his face.

At Max Sugarmony's Body Painting shop in the new mall, Marriam and Mariah went through a sliding, rotating, drying machine. After that, Max presented them with a mirror and asked, "So ladies, you love how you look?"

Marriam looked at herself in the mirror. Her body was covered in a mixture of dark blueand light blue paint, and heavy resembled the women presented in Avatar.

"Hell yeah, I love it!" Marriam cheered.

"Move out the way hoe," Mariah said as she bumped Marriam to the side to look in the mirror. Her body was covered in yellow paint with dark yellow spots, heavy resembling Spongebob.

"Oh my gosh," Mariah said as she looked in the mirror, "I love it!"

"Lol," Max Sugarmony replied, "Enjoy, free of charge"

As Mariah got back dressed, Max said, "Wait! You guys wanna take a picture?"

"Sure," Marriam and Mariah said at the same time.

Max grabbed his professional camera, set it up, and said, "On the count of 3, say body paint! 1, 2.."

"Body Paint!" They both cheered. Max snapped the picture and said, "Come look at this!"

Marriam and Mariah rushed to look at the picture, and once they saw it, Marriam said, "Hot damn, we look so sexy!". Mariah took a look and commented, "Ooh, shexy!"

"Sexy indeed," Max said, "But thanks for your business, and see you next time!"

"Alright," Marriam said as they left.

"Mall closing in 10 minutes," the announcer said.

"Aw man, we gotta hurry up," Mariah said.

"We can always stay after they close," Marriam said, "If we're sneaky enough, the guards will leave and we'll have this whole place to myself"

"That would be so fun," Mariah said.

"We gon' RUN this Thang!" Marriam roared.

Just then, a guy ran up to Mariah and said, "Ay girl, When you gon let me get that yellow a...."

POW!

Mariah turned around to see Marriam blowing smoke from her gun. Mariah stared in awe.

"Thank you," Mariah said, "That nigga was ugly".

"We've protected all the girls in the world from ever coming in contact with that ugly dude," Marriam said.

"Yass," responded Mariah

"So, where should we go next?" Marriam said.

"Ooh, I see a forever 21!" Mariah cheered.

"OMG yes," Marriam said.

They rushed in Forever 21, knocking down everyone in their way, and frantically explored the shop. After browsing for a few minutes, Marriam saw the perfect jackets. She reached in her pants, grabbed a blindfold, and put it around Mariah's eyes.

"Bae, what the hell you doing?" she asked.

"Blind shopping," Marriam said, "I buy you shit, but you don't even know what it is. After 3 stores, you do the same for me!"

"Oh shit," Mariah said in a joking tone.

Marriam scooped up two jackets with an image on the back of New York City drowning, and mermaids rising up with joints in their mouth. One was dark green, the other blue.

"Imma buy this shit," Marriam said.

"Buy what?" Mariah said

"Yo ass can't know," Marriam replied.

"Awww, screw you," Mariah said.

"Happily," Marriam replied as she went up to the check-out. The female cashier scanned the jackets and droned, "That'll be thirty four dollars and thirty five cents". Marriam swiped her credit card, but the machine said, "Invalid Card. Please Swipe Again".

She swiped it again, "Invalid Card. Please Swipe Again"

She swiped it again, "Invalid Card. Please Swipe Again"

She swiped it again, "Invalid Card. Please Swipe Again"

She swiped it again, "Invalid Card. Please Swipe Again"

Marriam got frustrated and yelled, "What the hell?!"

"Look, your card is invalid, find another way to pay, or drop your shit and get the hell out," the cashier said in that same monotone voice.

"Come on, Bae," Marriam, "Let's bounce".

"You're supposed to pay for that," the cashier unconvincingly said.

They walked out forever 21 with their bags and Marriam guided Mariah to Bed Bath and Body Works. As soon as she stepped in, Mariah asked, "Are we in the candy shop?"

"N..." before Marriam could say "No," she saw the vast array of smell-good products that resembled candy, such as the cherry-scented marbles and green apple scented pebbles.

"Yes bae, we're in the candy shop," Marriam said deviously.

"It smells so good," Mariah commented.

"I know right?" Marriam said, "You want some?"

"Hell yeah bihh," Mariah said.

"Alright," Marriam said, rubbing her hands together, "Stay right there and sniff the candy

She grabbed some blue raspberry scented rocks, some strawberry scented marbles, threw them in a bag, then she walked to the line, shoved everyone in it to the side, and jumped to the front.

"I'd like to pay for this 'candy'" Marriam said.

The cashier responded, "Ma'am, that's not ca..."

"IT'S CANDY!" Marriam yelled with her hand covering the cashier's mouth.

"Alright, damn, that'll be $15.67," the cashier said. Marriam swiped her credit card, which worked this time, grabbed Mariah and ran off to the halls.

"I wanna eat my candy," Mariah said.

"Can't let you do that," Marriam said.

"I wanna eat my damn candy!" Yelled Mariah, who started swinging her arms.

"Shit, it's a surprise," Marriam said

"Them thangs smell good tho," Mariah said.

"Hell yea," said Marriam, "Wanna pull over to the side and sniff em'?"

"YASS," replied Mariah.

Mariah and Marriam sat on a black bench, and Marriam opened the bag. Both of them started sniffing and sighed in approval of the precious strawberry smell the "candy" emitted.

"Attention shoppers, 10 minutes until closing, I repeat, 10 minutes til closing"

"You ready for your next gift, bae?" Marriam asked.

"Hell yea," Mariah responded, still sniffing the candy. They walked to Claire's and Mariah started sniffing.

"We in Claire's sista!!!" She yelled.

Marriam giggled and said, "OMG, I love that!"

They walked in the store and Marriam said to Mariah, "I have something special for you". Marriam walked to the "Make your own bracelet" booth and started making a bracelet that consisted of blue and green hearts with M's.

"You getting a bracelet?" Mariah asked.

"Maybe..." Marriam replied.

"Awww," Mariah said, "You so sweet bae".

"This store don't have no camera so Imma run out with this brace...I mean, your gift," Marriam said.

"I know you got me a bracelet," Mariah said.

"Whatever, let's make a run for it," Marriam said.

They dashed out the mall and Mariah said, "I'm hungry as hell, man"

"I heard the hotel part has a buffet, we're gonna clean that bitch out!" Marriam said.

"I feel ya," Mariah said, "And then you gon' let me eat my candy?"

"Yea," Marriam said, "And somethin' else too..."

Mariah burst in a fit of laughter as they walked to the hotel lobby. In the lobby, chandelier hung over a classy, red and gold setting that was decorated with 17th Century Art. Fish Tanks, golden chairs, and huge TVs were located in center.

"This is so beautiful," Marriam commented.

"I wanna see," Mariah said.

"Sure Bae," Marriam said. She lifted Mariah's blindfold, then closed it back in less than a second.

Mariah grew a joke frown and said, "You bitch"

"A boss one," Marriam said.

Mariah burst out singing, "I'm a boss ass bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch"

People in the lobby looked on in shock as she sang the song to the buffet. Marriam grabbed a plate and began stacking it with chicken, pizza, macaroni, and waffles. They sat at a table and Marriam put Mariah's gifts in one bag before saying, "You may now take your blindfold off". Mariah took off the blind fold and saw the massive stack of chicken, pizza, macaroni, and waffles.

"Dig in," Marriam said, grabbing a slice of pizza, "Look at your gifts, Bae".

Mariah looked in a bag and saw a blue jacket, some "candy", and the bracelet.

"Thank you!" cheered Mariah.

"Welcome, but about the 'candy', that's just scented shit".

Mariah took some of the strawberry scented rocks out the bag and said, "Aww, damn you," and threw some at Marriam.

"Hey!" Marriam yelled playfully. They started throwing the scented rocks and marbles back and forth, not caring about their food.

Meanwhile, back in the ghost town at the Wal-Mart parking lot, London attempted to unlock an RV with a clothes-hanger.

"Hurry the hell up!" yelled Thomas

"Like you can do it," London snapped. After a few more twists and turns, she finally unlocked the RV. We ran in, and were immediately greeted with luxury. The steering wheel was golden, the sets were a royal red, and the walls were light blue with a yellow streak running throughout.

"Ah, it's soooo beautiful," Monica said, kissing on the walls.

"I bet you like it if it was decorated with fish," I said.

"Yass, wait, No....stop," She said before breaking down in giggles.

London grabbed the wheel and pressed the Push to Start button.

Vrooooooooommmmmm

The van took off and we were on our way to Tallahassee. As we passed the free hotel, we saw Jonny, Gretchen, holding her baby, and Bell (with some nachos) run out with their hands in the sky screaming, "Hey!

London yelled back, "What do you guys want?"

"We need a ride to Tallahassee," Gretchen yelled.

"Why?" yelled London.

"Cause Bell wants to go to Build-A-Bear at Governer Square," Jonny said.

"Hop in," London said

London unlocked the door and Gretchen, Jonny, and Bell ran in the RV. Beavis and Butthead followed close behind them.

"Who invited you two dickheads in here?" Monica asked as the RV took off.

"Huh huh, she said dick," Butthead said

"Heh heh heh heh," Beavis and Butthead laughed as Monica rolled her eyes.

London drove out of the Ghost Town, through the forest, and got on Intersatate 10, almost crashing into a truck.

"Damn, that was close," London said.

"Hey, are you gonna stop and give us some donuts?" Thomas asked.

"Not for you," London scoffed.

"Well, dump you then!" Thomas yelled

In the kitchen of the RV, Bell flew his nachos in the microwave, and set it to 30 seconds. Due to the aluminum wrapping, it immediately caught on fire

"Nooo!" Bell screamed.

Beavis ans Butthead stared at the Nacho Fire in the microwave, chanting, "Fire! Fire!"

I got up and said, "Man, y'all gotta put it in the sink", but Gretchen grabbed the fire Nachos and threw them out the window, straight into another car.

"Really?" I said to Gretchen.

"What? I panicked?" Gretchen replied.

"You just set someone on fire!" I yelled

"Better him than me," Gretchen said.

"I know! Imma make a hot dog instead," said Bell. He grabbed a bun, grabbed a frank from the refridgerator, and put in the microwave. Once it was done, he put the Frank in the bun, randomly grabbed a book, and opened it. Jonny past and saw the book the Holy Qu'ran.

"No, No, No," Jonny said, "You ain't supposed to be doin' that?"

"What?" Bell said with crumbs from his mouth falling in Qu'ran.

"You can't eat a hot dog while reading the Qu'ran! That's pork!"

"So?"

"THAT'S A MUSLIM BOOK! MUSLIMS DON'T EAT PORK, DUMMY!"

"Aahhh, I'm sorry muslims!" Bell aaid. He returned the book quickly but sloppily to the shelf. Not to his knowledge the hotdog fell in the book.

In the bathroom, Beavis and Butthead stared at the toilet.

"What's down there dude?" Butthead asked.

"I dunno, let's check it out," Beavis said

"No, you check it out," Butthead said
Beavis snickered and jumped feet first into the toilet, immediately getting stuck.

"Hey Butthead, I'm stuck!" Beavis said

"What a dumbass," Butthead said.

In the living room, Monica, Sonya, Thomas, and I were watching In Living Color on TV. Grady walked in and said, "Hey guys, I just came up with the best rap ever!"

"Let's hear it, buddy," Thomas said.

Grady began to rap:

"I'm a cannibal, Hannibal lecter

Private inspector/ Tax collector

De-stresser, respecter, the protector

The vector, corrector, collector!"

After staring at him blankly, Monica said, "Boy, shut your wack ass up!".

"Well, damn," Grady said

"Well, I'm off to the kitchen for a drink," I said

"Fix me a cherry lemonade if they got some," Sonya said.

"You're independent, come make it yourself," I said.

"Okay," she said, "You don't know how to make them my style anyway"

I opened up the fridge only to find broken bottles of milk and oil.

"I forgot this was a stranger's RV," I said to myself

Sonya just grabbed a bottle of milk from the fridge and gulped it all down.

"Well dang, girl, that could've been poisoned," I said

"I don't care, it was good as hell," Sonya said, wiping milk from her face and neck.

Just then , I heard grunting noises from the bathroom. Sonya and I ran in the bathroom and saw Beavis struggling to get out the toilet while Butthead said, "Cool".

"What in the world?" I said.

"This is like funny and sad at the same time," Sonya said.

I held on to Beavis' hand to pull him out the toilet and said, "Come on, daughter, help me get this fool out the toilet"

"Wait," she said, pulling out her iPhone. "I gotta post this on Instagram".

"That's freakin ridiculous," I said.

Sonya snapped a picture and said, "Alright, I'm ready".

She held on to Beavis' other hand and we both pulled extremely hard with all of our strength. He launched out the toilet, slamming into the bathroom wall, as Sonya and I fell back on the ground.

"Wanna do it?" Butthead asked Sonya. Sonya responded by driving her foot off the ground and pounding it into Butthead's nose.

"Let's get up outta here," Sonya said.

As we left, Butthead said, "Cool, it's bleeding"

"What a bunch of retards," Sonya said.

"All you gotta do is just hope," I said.

When we got to the living room, Thomas suddenly hopped up while Monica started cummimg due to Grady's tongue.

"What's wrong man?" I asked

"What's wrong?!" Thomas said with a big ol' smile, "We're in Tallahassee, Man!"

"Umm....explain the excitement," I said.

"We cut school and went to Tallahassee one time, and dammit, It was fun. You know, why didn't we come back?"

"Yeah, that was awesome," Gretchen said, "We went streaking and eating and we broke into a hotel, killed some..."

"Not setting a good example for the child," Jonny said.

"My baby knows good from bad pretty well," Gretchen said. She started tickling her baby and said "Amirite? Yes I'm right?"

Bell said to Jonny, "What a dummy"

"Look who's talking," Jonny said

"I'm talking right now, so I should look at myself, and I look amazing!" Bell said.

"You sure do," Jonny said sarcastically. Bell fainted

"Dude, you killed him," Butthead said.

"Yea, he's DEAD!" Beavis said excitedly.

Bell got up and said, "Hey, what did I miss?"

"What a dumbass," Butthead said.

"Yea," Beavis followed

"Heh heh heh heh..."

"Why did we order a van with two dumbasses?" Gretchen said.

"It's an RV, not a van," I said,

"What the hell?" said Gretchen. "It's a van to me, so it's a van!"

"Believe your sanctimonious theories, then," I said

"Ugh, stupid nerd," Gretchen said.

"Rather be a nerd than a bird," I said.

"Are you saying I'm a whore?" Gretchen responded

"Maybe..."

"Jonny! This negro just called me a whore!" Gretchen yelled.

Jonny walked up and said, "Who?"

"Him," Gretchen said, pointing to me.

"In my defense, she called me a nerd," I said.

"After all the times you done called me a bad father," Jonny said, "I'll let it slide this time".

"Noooo!" Gretchen cried, "You're supposed to save me from this, this monster!"

"This dude ain't a monster," Jonny said, "He's my buddy! Peaches helped us get together"

"Umm....yeah," I said.

"As a matter of fact, Peaches get over here!" Jonny said with cheer.

"You better not bring that girl over here," Gretchen said, "I got nails, nigga!", and with that she held up her long nails.

"Cool nails, but you're a white chick saying the N-word so I'm gonna deduct some points," I said

"Noooo, curse you!" Gretchen yelled as Peaches ran over, holding Jean Angel close.

"JPJ, unite!" Jonny yelled.

"Hold my baby," She said to Bell.

Bell got the baby and said, "Hello, cutie, Wanna play?". He started slowly spinning the baby around.

Peaches ran up to Jonny and I then yelled, "Group hug!". She then jumped up and have is a crazy tight hug that almost pushed us down. Jonny pulled out his phone and put it in selfie-mode.

"On the count of three say 'Colon'!" Jonny yelled, "1, 2, 3..."

"Colon!" We all said with a ridiculous smile. Right after the picture, Peaches gave a Jonny a peck on the cheek and grabbed my ass.

"Hey, girl!" I yelled. Gretchen got furious, her face turning red, and she tackled Peaches out of nowhere to the ground.

"Don't kiss my man, bitch!" Gretchen screamed.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you weren't such a shitty wife," Peaches snapped while slamming Gretchen in the face with her elbow. Thomas got his camera, quickly came over, and started filming. Beavis and Butthead stared in the catfight in awe and began singing From Here to Eternity by Iron Maiden

Gretchen and Peaches got up, then they started jabbing each other with their fists, before Peaches grabbed Gretchen by the hair.

"Let go of my hair, you freak!" Gretchen yelled.

"Nope," Peaches said as she yanked Gretchen's hair, causing both of to fall back on the ground, with Gretchen's fall being more painful. With vengeance in her eyes, Gretchen got up, leaped on Peaches and began to slap and bite her face. Peaches slammed her knee into Gretchen's stomach, causing her to flip over. They both got up and started tugging on each other's shoulders and hair. This let Peaches get a good grip on Gretchen's shirt, and she yanked it off her body, leaving Gretchen standing there in a bra.

"Shit's about to get good," Thomas said.

"That's all you got, you pathetic whore?" Gretchen said.

Peaches charged into Gretchen, grabbed her, and slammed her head hard in the sink.

"K to the O!" Thomas yelled, "Peaches wins!"

"What's my prize, cracka?" Peaches asked Thomas.

"Damn," Thomas said, "Forgot about that, but I got some airheads in my pocket"

"Forget that shit," Peaches said, "You better buy me somethin' at the mall or Imma slit your throat, and Bell, gimme my baby!"

"He's in the mixer, Imma about to give him a ride!" Bell said.

Peaches rushed to get her baby out the mixer, held her tight in her arms, and used her free hand to smack the hell out of Bell.

"If you touch my baby, I will cut your balls off, feed em' to your brother and stick a knife in your ass!" Peaches yelled

"She said 'balls'," Beavis said

"Yeah, and ass," Butthead added

"She must wanna like, uh, do it," Butthead said.

"Y'all dumbasses can shut up," Peaches snapped

"Uhh....no," Butthead said.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh"

"Ugh, stupid idiots," Peaches said before walking away.

"We're here, bitches!" London cheered.

"Yeaaaaah!" Thomas yelled. We then departed from the van onto the sidewalk, where a dad was beating his son with some Colombia Blues. Once we walked in the mall, we recieved countless looks and stares from the patrons.

"What all them people doin' here?" a mother commented as her son flirted with an older woman

Delma jumped on Thomas' back and said, "Piggyback ride, sucka!"

"Oh shit," Thomas said as he started spinning around.

"Now Sonya, do you have the agenda for today?"

"Yes Jojo, we go to build a bear for Bell, kill the Chinese man at the pawn shop, and play around at Cascades Park," she recited with a seductive tone at the last five words.

"Alright crew, let's get to it!" I said.

"Piggyback ride, Sucka!" De'asia said as she jumped on Kenyelle's back.

"What the hell?" Kenyelle said.

We all walked to Build-A-Bear and the stored had a closed sign along with bars in front of the entrance.

"They put the bears in jail!" Bell said, as he began to cry.

"Dude, don't cry, you're 18!" I said.

"But the bears, they're innocent," he said

"Look, when my sister gets back from doing my girlfriend in the Ghost Town Mall, I'll see if she'll let you borrow hers, okay?"

"Fine," Bell said with a pout face.

"Alright, now where's this damn pawn shop so we can kill this Chinese dude?" Monica asked.

"They got a map of the mall near the food court," Johnny said, "Let's check it out"

"Food court," Kimberly said, "You gon' buy me some cinnabon and starbucks, daddy?"

"Call that whiteboy daddy one more time, woman," I said to Kimberly with a lighter in my hand.

"Chill dude," Johnny said.

"Sorry, man" I said, "It just happens"

"These niggas be crazy," Kimberly said.

"Whoa, he had a lighter," Beavis said.

We went down the escalator to the food court, where we saw the map of the mall.

"It's just a little bit to the left," I said.

"Why the hell you say left like that?" Peaches asked while Jean Angel played with a frog toy, "You tryna seduce the damn map?". We than began walking to the pawn shop.

"Yep," I said while laughing, "How'd you know?"

"Never...nevermind," Peaches said while grinning and half-covering her face.

"Ah, it seems my techinques have faltered on the map but have been proven effective on you"

"Shut the hell up, boy," Peaches said before smacking my behind.

I smacked hers back and said, "Your posterior has increased in size since your pregnancy"

"Oh my gosh," Peaches said, looking up in the sky.

We were in front of the pawn shop and London pulled out a pocket knife.

"Which one of you fools crazy enough to do the dirty work?" She asked

"Me and...chicka-chicka, Slim Grady," Thomas said, with Grady striking a cool pose.

"Alright, the wack rappers, we want his head off," London said.

"We ain't wack, bitch, we Tom-Eazy and Slim Grady!" Grady said as Thomas let Delma off his back

Everyone cringed as Grady grabbed the pocket knife and followed Thomas in the pawn shop. There was Chinese man eating Seasame Chicken and Eggrolls at the desk.

"Hello," he said in a slight Chinese accent, "how may I help you?"

"We need to cut your head off," Grady said.

"Dude!" Thomas said, "Too blunt!"

"Go ahead," he said, "this shop is shitty anyway!"

"Well damn, you sure man?" Grady said.

"Yes," he said, "and my cheating wife is about to divorce me! I want to make her feel guilty!"

"Alright," Grady, "Here we go"

Grady started cutting at his neck and said, "Damn, this feels kinda weird"

Thomas grabbed the plate of Seasame Chicken and Eggrolls and said, "Free lunch!". He rapidly gulped down every bit. Grady finally got the Chinese Man's head and arm off and said, "Come on Tom-Eazy, let's bounce up out this motha!"

"Let's bounce out this motha, indeed"

Thomas and Grady ran out with the head and arm.

"Whoa, why the hell did you cut off the arm?" London asked.

"I need somethin' to snack on," Grady replied

"That's a head!" Beavis said.

"Whoa, cool dude," Butthead responded

"Where we gon' put his head at?" Azyrea said

"Just put it in my purse, baby" Monica said.

"I wanna keep it as a toy," Emmani said.

"You can't, remember, we gotta return to publish the book," I said.

"Wait, we killed somebody over a damn book?" Emmani asked

"Yep," I replied, "I don't feel good about it either".

A nearby couple saw us and the woman said, "Oh my gosh, that's a bleeding head!"

"Don't worry, honey, I'm calling TPD," the man responded.

Jada walked over there and said, "Look, you didn't hear anything, and you didn't see anything, so I suggest you move your little scared ass along before I knock down your whole family tree". She then walked back with a smile.

"Daaaaaaaaaaang Jada," I said, "Alright, now we gotta go to Casades Park"

"Hold up," Kimberly said, "Daddy didn't buy me my cinnabon and coffee."

"I'm broke, bi-atch!" Johnny yelled

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?" Kimberly said as we started walking to the food court

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?" Johnny said.

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?"

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?"

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?"

"Who the hell you calling a bitch, bitch?"

"I'm just kidding, I love you, bitch," Kimberly said

"I love you too, bitch," Johnny said.

"Alright, we get it," Monica said, "Now stop bitchin' and get your damn Starbucks and Cinnabon....bitches"

"I must agree with Monica," I said, "Wait a minute, we all better grab some food while we here".

"Yeah!" Sonya cheered.

We then all headed to the food court...

Back in the crazy little Ghost Town, Andrew and Mary Jane walked downtown on the wide sidewalk, holding hands. Many of the citizens dropped everything stop and stared at them.

"I'm not sure I like all these people looking at us," Mary Jane said.

"Look, baby," Andrew began to explain, "People are gonna look and hate no matter what, and ain't a damn thing you can do about it. Just keep it movin' and don't let it affect your joy".

"Alright, I'll try not to," Mary Jane said with a smile.

"Besides, we're about to eat some coffee-fried chicken," Andrew said.

"Oh my gosh," Mary Jane said, "Does it even taste good?"

"I don't even know," Andrew said, "But the commericials made it look damn good".

"Well, if it sucks," Mary Jane said, "You owe me 20 bucks".

"What?!" Andrew said, "Girl, that's bullshit".

"I ain't bullshittin' with ya baby," Mary Jane responded.

They walked in Starbucks and the cashier said, "Hello, welcome to Starbucks, how may I help you?".

"Two baskets of coffee-fried chicken, please," Andrew said.

"Well, Mary Jane can have some, but you can't," she replied.

"Why the hell not?" Andrew asked.

"Cause you're a woman-hatin' asshole," the cashier said.

"His friend dared him to tell the joke," Mary Jane said, "He didn't intend any harm," Mary Jane said

"Well, if you support this waste of flesh, I suggest you leave then," the cashier said.

"Fine, we'll leave, bitch," Mary Jane said.

Andrew and Mary Jane left and Andrew said, "Wow, that was not good".

"You wanna just go to my apartment?" Mary Jane said.

"Hell yeah, bae," Andrew said.

Mary Jane kissed Andrew on the lips and pulled out her apartment key. Once they walked in, Andrew immediately noticed the faded patterns of swans and ballerinas on the brown walls.

"You live in a pretty classy place," Andrew commented.

"Aww, thank you," she replied as they got on the elevator and rode up to the 10th floor. They walked down the long hall until they got to her room.

"Damn, that was a long-ass walk," Andrew said

"You'll get used to it, honey," Mary Jane responded as she unlocked the door.

Andrew nearly fell out when he walked in her room as a pleasant raspberry aroma struck his nose, which contributed to the tranquil atmosphere of the front living room and kitchen, both with purple walls carefully decorated with golden swans and crows.

"This is, like, Paradise!" Andrew commented.

"Well, thank you," Mary Jane said, "I like to keep my palace...majestic"

"And you do a damn good job at it too," Andrew said.

"Well, I think I got the material to make enough coffee-fried chicken for the both of us," Mary Jane said while grabbing flour from the cabinet and raw meat from the refrigerator.

"I'll make the coffee while you doing yo' thing over there," Andrew said.

"Thanks, honey," Mary Jane said.

Andrew and Mary Jane gave each other a hug and a long smooch before they started cooking. Andrew made a hot pot of French vanilla and poured it into the flour. Mary Jane stirred it and rolled six pieces of raw chicken meat in it.

"We don't need no Starbucks," Andrew said.

"I'm gonna add some lemon cream to it," Mary Jane said.

"Ah, that my's favorite," Andrew said and Marh Jane poured lemon cream into the coffee-covered flour.

"Pass me the fryer, honey," Mary Jane said. Andrew opened the cabinet, causing a plethora of pots and pans to pound upon him.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Mary Jane asked.

Andrew just laid on the ground laughing like a hyena. This provoked Mary Jane to start laughing too. She grabbed the fryer from the mess Andrew caused.

"So, um, you want me to clean this shit up or nah?" Andrew asked.

"Hmm....We'll clean it up after we're done eating," she said.

"Why you said eating like that?" Andrew asked

"I don't even know," Mary Jane said while blushing.

She set up the stove, put the chicken in the fryer, and sat it on the stove. It was cooking at a mighty fast pace.

"I'm going to the bathroom, Ms. Jane," Andrew said.

"Hurry, the food will be done any minute," Mary Jane said.

Andrew went into the lovely pink bathroom, and urinated in the toilet. Once he flushed, he went to the sink, but there was no soap. He opened up the cabinets to check for some and...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH,"

There was an open box with dismembered limbs and a bloody head. A paper below read, "The remains of my cheating husband". Another box to the right had a rotten torso with a paper nailed to it saying, "The remains of the negro who tried to 'holla' at me in the mall".

"Oh my gosh, this girl's a killer!" Andrew yelled.

"Honey, our food's ready!" Mary Jane announced cheerfully.

"Zoinks!" Andrew yelped as he walked out the bathroom.

In the kitchen, Mary Jane put two fat pieces of dark brown coffee-fried chicken on two golden plates.

"Ah, you're lucky," Mary Jane said, "This is the first time I brought out these plates since 2005".

"What happened last time?" Abdrew asked.

"That's a story I'll tell you later, homie," Mary Jane said, "Oops, I meant honey," she corrected herself, slyly covering her mouth.

"Yeah right," Andrew said.

"Well, let's eat!" Mary Jane said. They sat down on the couch, and Andrew took a bite of the chicken.

"Mmm, delicious," Andrew said with grease on his lips

"Ooh, your chicken oozes red," Mary Jane said.

"Yak!" Andrew yelped.

"Smile, I bet you look like a vampire," she said with her phone out to take a picture. Andrew have a nervous smile, which revealed his blood red teeth.

"Now say 'I am Andrewlania and I feast on the dead'"

"I am Andrewlania and I feast on the dead," Andrew said with jumps in his voice. Just then, Marina ran in crying.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Mary Jane asked.

"Some guy smacked my patootie and said 'niceeee'," she explained.

"Let me take care of this," Mary Jane said.

Mary Jane walked out the building and Marina sat next to Andrew.

"I love my mommy," she said.

"She's your mama for real?" Andrew asked.

"Yep," Marina said, "She had me when she was 16!".

"Wow!" I wanted a child when I was 16!" Andrew said.

"I'm 16 right now and I want a child!" Marina said, "Wow, we have SOOO much in common. Besties?".

"Besties," Andrew said. And with that, Marina and Andrew shared a big hug. Mary Jane walked in the room with a bloody knife and a dismembered arm.

"Mother! I didn't want you to kill him!" Marina yelled, "Why didn't you just talk to him?".

"Because no one disrespects my daughter," Mary Jane said, "especially like that".

"Aw man," Andrew said, "This is jacked up right here".

In the Chinga Tu Madre Mall, Marriam and Mariah were stuffed and packed up their food in carryout trays. Mariah snuck up behind Marriam and blindfolded her.

"Holy shit," Marriam said, "You scared the hell OUTTA me!"

"Blind shopping!" Mariah yelled.

Mariah guided Marriam back into the mall only to discover that most of the shops were closed.

"Damn!" Mariah exclaimed. She walked a little further and saw a bright light ahead. She walked further down and saw Foot Locker.

"They ain't close that," Mariah said, rubbing her hands together. Her and Marriam walked to Foot Locker. Immediately, she saw some shoes that she loved.

"Oh my gosh, the Legend Blue 11s!" Mariah said.

"Let me see," Marriam said.

Mariah pulled up Marriam's blindfold a little, then snapped it back saying, "Sike, bitch!"

"Well screw you," Marriam said.

"Aw man, they got the fresh Dirty Bred 13s too!"

"Let me see, dammit!" Marriam said.

"Helllll no," Mariah said.

"You'll pay for this," Marriam said.

They walk a little further to the bench.

"Lay here," Mariah said as she laid Marriam on the bench

She jumped behind the cash register, which was unattended, and grabbed a bag. Also behind the register were pairs of fresh shoes, including Legend Blue 11s, Columbia Blues, Cool Grey 9s, and Airfoce 7 Lola Bunnies. Mariah scooped up enough for her and Marriam to wear, then threw them in the bag.

"I know you stealin' J's," Marriam said.

"Yep!" Mariah said. She saw some rope behind the register and grabbed that too. She walked up to Marriam, grabbed her arms, and tied them to the bench.

"What the hell are you doing," Marriam said as she laughed.

"You'll see," Mariah said menacingly.
Mariah then gave Marriam a sloppy rasberry

"Damn bae, that tickles like hell," Marriam said.

"I know," Mariah said. She then untied Marriam.

"Man, that was crazy?" Marriam said. Once she was finally freed, she jumped down from the bench, but fell on the Nike Sock rack and crashed on the floor.

"Ow!" Marriam said before laughing.

Mariah started laughing with her and said, "You thought you was superwoman or some shit".

"I am superwoman, bihh," Marriam said.

"Mmm-hmm, child," Mariah said.

Marriam then pulled a sword from her purse.

"Ever played catch with a sword before?" Marriam asked.

"Nope," Mariah said, "But I want to".

They threw the sword around footlocker, back and forth, until the toy wrecked the alarm system behind the register, which exploded and caught fire. Both Marriam and Mariah raced to catch the fire extinguisher and put it out. Mariah shot at the alarm system and put out the fire.

"Damn, it smells like root beer up in here," Mariah commented

"Omg," Marriam laughed, "But who won?"

"I won, bitch," Mariah said

"Nope," Marriam said, "I won, bitch"

"I'm Rick James, bitch!" Mariah yelled before tackling Marriam to the ground

"Damn, girl," Marriam said, "You tryna crush me?"

"Bitch, I might be," Mariah said. Both of them slowly fell asleep with Marriam's hand on Mariah's waist.

Meanwhile, we left Governor's Square's in the RV that we stole and headed on down Appalachee Parkway for Cascades Park

"Cascades Park, here we come," London said.

"Wait, didn't she say she wanted his head on a silver platter?" Thomas asked.

"Dammit!" London said.

London drove through the median and swerved into a parking space at Applebee's

"You should've went up to the light and made a U-turn," I said, "we're already in enough trouble".

"Hmm-hmm, I don't give a damn," London said.

"Alright, me and Thomas will find a silver platter in the kitchen," London said, grabbing Thomas' arm.

"Can't you just buy one?" I asked.

"I don't have time for that bullshit,' London said. "Let's go,". She yanked Thomas and dragged him along with her to the Applebees' parking lot, causing him to yell, "Ow! Ow! Ow fuck! Ow! Let go of me, witch".

"Alright," London replied, "But you have to follow me".

She let go of Thomas and they burst through the entrance of Applebee's.

A server walked up to them and said, "Hello, Welcome to Applebee's, how may I..."

"We need a silver platter," Thomas said.

"I'm sorry," the server said, "But we can't give those to cu..."

"I DON'T CARE," London yelled at the top of her lungs. "We need a silver platter!"

"Look, I can't do that because..."

"AAARGH," London said as she knocked over the server. Her and Thomas stormed in the kitchen, grabbed silver platters, and dashed out as the restaurant staff and patrons looked in disbelief. London swung open the RV door and got back in her driver's seat while Thomas flew into the passenger seat.

"That....was......crazy," Thomas said, nearly gasping for breath.

"And awesome," London added as she began driving. She zoomed down Lafayette street, running red lights and almost crashing into pedestrians. Almost everyone in the RV were tossed and flung around like frisbees, until she swerved into the parking lot.

"Now, that rocked!" Thomas cheered.

"I know," London said before yelling, "We're here! Everybody get out!".

The whole entire gang stampeded outside the van and onto the wide sidewalks of Cascades Park.

"Hmm, looks quite nice," Peaches said, "I wonder if they have a playground".

I pointed to the further left and said, "Woop! There it is!".

"Yay!" Peaches cheered, although careful not to drop Jean Angel. She then merrily trotted along with her baby in her arms to the playground area.

"See ya, sucker-motherfuckaaaaas!" Sonya yelled before running to the playground

"Wait for me," Grady said as he dashed behind her.

Meanwhile, half of us sat at the tables finishing meals we could not complete at the mall. I stood near the water fountain, finishing a Strawberry Lemonade smoothie.

"I remember the first time we skipped class to go to Tally," Thomas said while chomping down on sesame chicken.

"We almost got locked up," Monica said.

"Yep," Thomas said, "we saw Santa Claus at the mall, so Monica goes up and sits on his lap".

"Damn right," Monica said.

"So she lists all these stupid gifts, and he yells security!" Thomas added.

"I said 'what the hell'," Monica recalled, "Then Tommy Boy here throws on this blue hat, runs up, and yells..."

"Aaaaargh! Run away you greedy little shits!" Thomas, Monica, and London yelled in unison. Unknown to them, a group of kids were walking by playing with a butterfly. They began to cry.

Monica walked up to them and said, "I wasn't talking to you kids, I was talking to stank-breath Thomas".

"But my name is Thomas!" one of the kids began to cry.

"Look, I'll give you kids some skittles to forget this ever happened okay," Monica said, pulling a fresh pack of skittles out of her pocket.

"Okay!" they cheered. She handed them the skittles and they fled, holding them joyously. Monica sat back down.

"Shame," Thomas said, "Giving little boys candy..."

"Shut the hell up," Monica said, "With all that damn sesame chicken sauce on your mouth like a clown-ass hooker".

Thomas burst out laughing as London gave Monica a high-five.

Shanequia sat with them and started gulping down donut holes.

"Can I get one, please?" Thomas asked.

"Can you bite me?" Shanequia snapped.

Monica stole her donut holes and ran off with them. It took a good five for Shanequia to realize it as she dashed towards Monica.

"You ain't getting this back," Monica said.

"Watch me," Shanequia said. She caught up to Monica and dragged her back near the water fountain, where I looked on curiously. Thomas grabbed his video camera and stood near me.

"Gimme my shit back!" Shanequia said as she wrestled and twisted Monica to get her donut holes back.

"Never!" Monica said, She attempted to bite Shnaequia and failed.

Shanequia got off her and grabbed the donut holes. Monica leaped up afterwards.

"You can get two, sista," Shanequia said.

"Thanks," Monica said as she grabbed two of them from the bag. Just then, Thomas strongly pressed the button attached to the water fountain then shot at Shanequia and Monica.

"Wet T-shirt contest!" Thomas cheered.

"What the hell?" Shanequia said. "I should knock you out for that shit".

Monica walked up to Thomas, looked him up and down, and slapped him hard.

"Why the hell you tryna have a wet T-shirt contest?" she asked with a bite in her voice.

Thomas began mumbling, "I, um..." before Monica gave him a sloppy kiss on the lips.

"How about a no-shirt contest instead?" Monica said before taking off her shirt, revealing her bra.

"Hell yeah," Thomas said before taking off his shirt.

"This shit sound like a bad porn movie," Shanequia said.

"Meet ya to the park bathroom first," Thomas said before sprinting off.

"Not so fast, sucka!" Monica exclaimed before she zoomed behind him.

Meanwhile, Beavis and Butthead were relaxing at the lake, watching the ducks swim about.

"Nature's cool," Butthead said, "but it sucks".

"Yeah," Beavis said.

"Let's blow up some ducks," Butthead said.

"Blow em' up," Beavis cheered.

"We gotta, like, get them out the water and stuff," Butthead said.

"How are we gonna do that?" Beavis asked.

"After you, asswipe," and with that Butthead pushed Beavis into the lake. Beavis struggled to swim, splashing about as the ducks flocked toward his direction.

"This is cool," Butthead commented.

After I was done drinking my strawberry lemonade, I walked over to the trash can to throw the cup away. In the midst of that, Delma creeped behind me, and blew a loud whistle in my ear

"What the hell?!" I said, pulling my pants up.

"Got ya!" Delma yelled from a distance.

"Truck you!" I yelled back.

Just then, I saw Shanequia carrying a box of donuts.

"My stupid boss dropped a box that I gotta sell today," she said.

"I gotta way to help you sell em'," I responded.

We walked over to the fountain area, where Azyrea, Emmani, and Jada were taking selfies. I crept up to them, snatched their phones, and ran. They dashed after me saying, "give my phone back!".

"If you buy some donuts, I'll give them back happily," I said.

"I don't got time for that bull," Azyrea snapped.

"I'm keeping the phones then," I replied.

They grouped together, tackled me to the ground, and just swiped their cell phones back.

"Dang," I said.

They grabbed donuts from Shanequia and ran off.

"Good plan," she said with an angry stare.

Just then, a random man walked up to us and said, "I saw how fast those girls ran after eating those donuts. Do they have athletic support?"

"Yes they do," Shanequia deviously said.

"Well I'll take two, ma'am," he said.

"That'll be twenty dollars," she said.

"Alright," he gave her the money and grabbed two donuts.

"Athletic donuts!" she yelled, "Get your althletic donuts for ten dollars a piece!"

Just then, a crowd of people, mostly joggers, ran up with ten dollar bills asking for athletic donuts.

"Gimme one"

"Gimme two"

"I'll take six, dammit!"

Shanequia quickly ran out of donuts and said, "Aw, guys, there's no more, but I'll be back next time"

The disappointed crowd walked away as Shanequia counted the money.

"Damn, three hundred dollars," she said before sniffing it.

"Those donuts weren't athletic, were they?" I said.

"Who gives a damn?" she said while walking to the RV.

"The news outlets are gonna come out," I said, "And people are gonna turn to big, fat, walkin'-talkin' donuts".

"That's gonna be funny as hell," she said.

Right then, a Frisbee struck my back. Grady picked it up and said, "Sorry".

When he ran back to the playground area, Sonya tackled him and yelled,"It's my turn, you son of a bitch!"

"Let go of me, you knuckle-sucker!" Grady yelled as he tried to get Sonya off of him.

The frisbee was lost in the scuffle and a nearby dog caught it with his mouth. Sonya hopped off Grady and began to chase the dog. She hopped on the dog like a horse and snatched it from his teeth.

"Your 'daughter' is fuckin' crazy," Shanequia commented.

"I'm proud," I replied.

We walked to the RV then crept to the living room area. Shanequia knocked all the items off the table, including a purple vase full of red roses, and laid on it. A loud subsequent crash followed.

"You realize that belonged to other folks, right?" I asked as I sat on the couch.

"Yep," she said as she grabbed the remote and turned to Empire.

"Cookie's my momma," Shanequia said.

"Yea freakin' right," I said.

"Hey, nigga," Shanequia said, "You mind rubbin' my shoulders?".

"You gotta pay me," I said.

"I'll give your ass twenty," she said.

She gave me the money, I put it in my pocket, and proceeded to rub her shoulders.

"Aaah, that feels good," she said, "Remember when you, Mary, and I were at that party?"

"Don't tell this story," I said.

"And you jumped in a whole bowl of...."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Shanequia laughed like a hyena as I screamed. Then London, Monica, Thomas, and Grady walked in.

"You still got some of those donuts, Shan?" Thomas asked.

"Why in the hell does your breath smell like that?" I asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Thomas said.

Azyrea walked in with Jada and Emmani.

"Ooh, Empire on! Turn up!" EMMANI said as she ran to the couch

"Anybody wanna have a campfire?"
Thomas said.

"Where are you gonna get the fire from?" I asked.

Thomas pulled out some aluminum foil and placed it in the microwave. He warmed it for two seconds, making the center of it catch fire, and took it out.

"Shanequia, get off the table!" Thomas yelled.

She rolled off the table unto the floor as Thomas placed the burning aluminum foil on the table.

"Campfire time!" He cheered.

"We can't have no campfire without some damn marshmallows," Monica said.

"Lemme check this guy's kitch and see what he has," Thomas said.

"Lol, kitch," London commented.

"Don't we gotta publish my girlfriend's book?" I said.

"Oh shit," Thomas said, "I forgot. Got caught up in the moment..."

"We can still have the campfire," London said, "Hey Grady..."

"Slim Grady," he insisted.

"Whatever," London replied, "Why don't you take the wheel tonight?"

"Hell yeah!" he cheered. He gave London a tight hug and ran to the driver seat.

"Wait," I said, "Kenyelle, De'asia, Peaches, Jonny, Gretchen, and Bell aren't on board. Not to mention Beavis and Butthead".

"Those two small-heads can stay," Monica said, "We can go without em'".

"I suppose," I said. Peaches walked the van, with Jean Angel sleeping in her bosom. She immediately noticed the burning aluminum foil on the table.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

Thomas began to rap:

"Girl you know this is my campire!

Fire watching Empire!

Marijuana, bout to get higher!

All you haters fall in a fryer, yeahhhh.

Know what I'm sayin'?"

"Please don't try to rap again," Peaches said. Jonny, Bell, and Gretchen then boarded the RV.

"Next time," Gretchen said to Bell, "Try not to take over the swings".

"I can't help it," he said, "They're fuuuunnnn!"

"Anybody seen Kenyelle and De'asia?" I asked.

"They're streaking around the park," Jonny said.

I replied, "Those two, I swear..."

I stepped outside the RV and saw Kenyelle playing with De'asia by the lake, while Beavis and Butthead were getting attacked by ducks.

"You two lovebirds!" I yelled, "Get back in this RV! Now!"

"Ay man, gimme ten minutes!" Kenyelle yelled back.

"Get in here, now!" I yelled, "You can play in the kitchen, now come on!"

"Damn, okay!" Kenyelle yelled back. Him and De'asia grabbed their clothes and ran in the RV. They went to the kitchen.

"Wait, Johnny and Kimberly. Where the hell are they?" Shanequia asked.

"Probably in the bathroom making love," I said.

"SHUT UP!!!!!" Azyrea yelled, "I'm tryna watch Empire, got dammit!"

Johnny and Kimberly emerged from the bathroom and Johnny said, "Honey, that was so great, I think I'm gonna marry you".

"You can't marry your daughter," Kimberly said while laughing.

"Too bad," Johnny said, "Looks like my elegant ring is gonna go to somebody ...."

"On second thought," Kimberly said, "You can".

"That's everybody?" I asked, "except those two wiener-heads".

"Pretty much," Monica said.

"Let's go, Grady!" London yelled.

"Ghost town, ho!," Grady said as he got in gear and began driving.

In the living room, we were all scattered around watching Empire.

"Ay, let's stop by Sonic's on the way," Shanequia said.

"I'm still stuffed of the Chinese food," London said.

"I am craving a shake," I said.

Shanequia jumped up from the couch and landed on the laps of me, Thomas, and Emmani.

"Ohp!" Thomas yelped.

"Why you laying on us?" Emmani asked.

"Damn," Shanequia replied, "I don't freakin' know".

"I say we stop by Sonic's," I said, "Who's with me?"

Shanequia, Thomas, Monica, Emmani, Jada, and Azyrea raised their hands.

"Grady! Stop by Sonic's on the way!" Monica yelled.

"You got some money and paper?!" He yelled back.

"Yeah!"

"Well, write everyone orders and give me thirty dollars!"

"Okay!"

Monica passed around a small notepad and we all wrote our orders on it. Monica gave the list to Grady and she dashed back. On Empire, Cookie and Malcolm were on a date at a french restuarant. A former Empire artist burst in and pointed a gun. The customers ducked as she turned the gun to Cookie.

"Where's my money, bitch?" She yelled as she began to trash the place.

"I don't owe you a thing," Cookie replied.

"Alright," the artist said as she proceeded to pull the trigger. Malcolm said, "Nooooooooo" and jumped in front of cookie, causing the bullet to graze the side of his face.

"Malcolm!" Cookie yelled before it cut to commercial.

"Damn," Azyrea said, "I hope the girl who tried to shoot her dies!"

"Amen, sista," Emmani said.

"Hey, y'all wanna play a game?" Monica asked.

"What game?" I asked.

"Alright, Imma sing somethin', and y'all gotta add "sausage" at the end," she explained.

"Sounds good," Jada commented.

"Damn, I love your voice," Monica said, "Alright, let's go!"

She began singing: "Eggs, bacon, pancakes and..."

"Sausage!"

"My homie Tommy stuffed, but he still ate the..."

"Sausage!"

"I like them jokers big, I can't stand a small..."

"Sausage!"

"And when I'm with your momma, all she do is cook..."

"Sausage!"

Grady hooked a left and pulled up in Sonic's Drive-Thru, when he heard something strange from behind the menu. He rolled down his window and asked, "Lequeesha, is that you?"

She walked from behind the drive-thru menu and said, "Yeah, it's me, homie," pausing to wipe her lips, "Where you been, Grady?"

"Eating folks, rappin, you know, the same ol' shit," he replied.

"You mind givin' a chick a ride?" she asked.

"No problem," Grady said. She got in the RV and dashed to the living room as Grady proceeded to order the shakes.

"What's up, bitches?!" Lequeesha said to us.

"Friend!" Thomas cheered, "Come give me a hug!"

As Lequeesha ran up to hug Thomas, London sighed, "Not her again".

"Bitch, you better shut your damn mouth before I cut that thang off and stick it up your butt," Lequeesha snapped.

"Whatever," London scoffed.

"What's up with you, Lee?" Shanequia asked.

"Money has been tight as hell," Lequeesha replied, "So I've been doing some shit in Frenchtown to keep my damn funds up. Killed a few suckas along the way".

"Sounds rough," I commented.

"That's the way I like it, homie," she said, "Know what I mean?"

"Yes, I know," I replied.

Lequeesha than began grubbing on her cheeseburger, smacking loudly.

"Can you stop smacking please?" London asked with a hint of anger.

"It's my damn food," Lequeesha said with crumbs flying out her mouth, "You don't tell me how to eat it, bitch."

"Ay, that got on me!" Azyrea yelled, "You need to eat with your damn mouth closed and stop talkin'!'

"I gotta agree with my girl Zey," Jada said.

"I don't gotta listen to y'all crazy-ass hoes," Lequeesha said, "Tryna control me, I'm Queen B, what!".

"They're not tryna control you," I said, "It's called common freakin' courtesy".

"And I don't give a damn about that crap," she replied, "Courtesy can kiss my damn grits".

"I'm done," I said.

"That must be a good burger for you to be actin' like that," Monica said.

"You damn right," Lequeesha said.

"Alright, guys, here's your shakes," Grady said, holding a tray of ten shakes. We all got up and claimed our shakes.

"Hey Peaches," Gretchen said, "What flavor you got?"

"Strawberry banana," Peaches replied, with Jean Angel asleep in her right arm.

"I knew you would get something lame," Gretchen said.

"Keep up with that shitty attitude," Peaches said, "Watch what the hell happens to you".

"Lol," Gretchen said before sipping on her shake.

"Darling," Jonny said, "You gotta learn how to respect folks".

"What if I don't wanna?" Gretchen said.

"You're gonna be in for some bad stuff, missy". He said.

"Yea right," she responded.

"What kind of bad stuff?" Bell asked.

"She'll see," Jonny siad.

Bell said, "Ah, that was the meanest girl back in middle school. She never let us..."

"I said 'she'll see', not Chelsea," Jonny explained.

"Oh," Bell said.

Lequeesha walked to Bell and said, "Remember me, cutie?".

Bell said, "You're the girl who kept sexing me!".

"Mmm-hmm," Lequeesha, "How about another round, free-of-charge?".

"Mmm-hmm?" Bell asked.

"Hell yeah," Lequeesha said as she lead Bell to the bathroom.

As we drank our shakes and watched Empire, time seemed to fly pass. Grady swerved from I-10 into the Ghost Town. He then drove the RV back to Wal-Mart.

"You got the head with the silver platter?" Grady said.

"Yep," London said, "I's right..." London noticed that the head was not where she left it.

"Where's the head?" She asked.

"I'm just playing, I got it," Grady said, and the plate".

"You didn't eat it, right?" London asked.

"Almost," Grady said, "Let's get out, suckers!"

As we headed out, Azyrea bopped Grady's head and said, "I ain't a damn sucka"

"I don't want the rest of my shake," Peaches said, "Anybody wants it?"

No one answered and we kept walking.

"Okay then," she said, before dumping the whole drink on Gretchen's head.

"Aaaaaah," she screamed.

"Should've never called my drink lame, bitch!" Shanequia responded.

Once we got to the book publishing place, we ran inside the woman's office, where she was reading the book thoroughly. Grady handed her the head on the silver platter.

"Well, I'll be damned," the woman said, "You people actually did it".

"So can we get our book published?" Johnny asked.

"Of course," the woman said, "Let me tell ya, it's so damn good. I'll do a million copies tonight, okay?"

Everyone cheered and high-fived each other.

"But beware of a media shitstorm," she said.

"We will," I said. We all walked out and headed to London Boardwalk to get some sleep...

At Mary Jane's apartment, Marina sat there crying about the fact that her mother, Mary Jane, has killed a guy that hit on her. Mary Jane wiped her tears and said, "Sorry, honey, I only did that because I love you".

"I think I understand," Marina said. Her tears started to dry.

"Now be a sweetie and get momma her mail from the post office," Mary Jane said.

"Yaaayyyy!" Marina cheered as she sprinted out the door.

"Alright, baby, I'm kinda scared of you," Andrew said.

"There's nothing to be scared of, honey," Mary Jane tried to reassure him.

"There were dead people in the bathroom, Mary!" Andrew yelled, "Dead people!"

"I'm sorry baby," Mary Jane said, "It was just a result of the anger I felt for those men. I would never do something like that to you".

"I know," Andrew responded, "But still....

"I only kill when disrespected or provoked," Mary Jane said, "You make me happy, I wouldn't try to hurt you, no matter what".

"Man, you really mean that?" Andrew asked.

"Yes!" Mary Jane said.

Andrew wrapped Mary Jane in his arms and held her tightly. She tongue kissed him as his hands cruised down his back. Suddenly, the door burst open

"Freeze!" A police said.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Andrew asked.

"Remember when we said if you make sexual advances towards anyway woman, you would be imprisonsed?" The officer explained.

"Come on!"

"We've been standing outside the room watching with our surveillance cameras and caught you rubbing Mary's Jane back with sexual intention, along with kissing her".

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!" Andrew said.

"He's right," Mary Jane said.

"The law says otherwise," the police said.

"You know what, damn the law!" Andrew said. He jumped on the officer and started choking him while Mary Jane looked on with fear and interest. He grabbed the officer's gun, shot him in the chest and yelled, "DAMN THE POLICE!!!!". He took a sniff and said, "Ah, I love the smell of fried redneck".

Mary Jane stood there and said, "Damnnnnnnnn".

"Wanna add this dead body to your bathroom, baby?" Andrew asked.

"Hell yeah," Mary Jane.

Both Andrew and Mary Jane carried the policeman's body to the bathroom and stuffed it in the cabinet. She grabbed some tissue, a sharpie, and wrote "The policeman who messed with my man". Andrew placed it right on the officer's neck.

"Now, let's started what we finished," Andrew said while unbuttoning Mary Jane's shirt.

"You messed that phrase up," she commented.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," Andrew said.

"Hahahahahahahah.....aaah," Mary Jane said as Andrew started kissing on her neck...

March 10, 2017, 10:00 A.M

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake the hell up!" Thomas yelled at me while shaking the bed.

"Well dang, what's the problem?" I asked.

"Your girlfriend and your sister are ON TV!" He yelled.

"Noooo!" I ran to the living room and indeed, Mariah and Marriam were on TV, at footlocker, swinging shoes and throwing them playfully at each other. A white caption in black letters on the bottom of the screen read: "Lesbian couple acts goes crazy at Footlocker"

"My goodness," I said, "I gotta stop this!"

I dashed out the room, down the stairs, through the street, through the hood, through the woods, stopped to take a puff of my inhaler, and ran to the Chinga Tu Madre Mall. I shot through the crowd, pushing down anyone in my way, and ran to Footlocker.

"MARIAH AND MARIAMMNNMN!" I yelled.

"Hey, baby," Marriam said.

"I saw you two dancing and play fighting on TV! ON TV!"

"Sooo?" Marriam said.

"We don't give a damn," Mariah said.

"Well guess who does," I said before yelling, "ME, SUCKA, THAT'S WHO. Both of you are severely grounded. No ice cream or cinnamon or Claire's"

"Awww," Marriam said. A few second later, she snapped, "Wait a damn minute! I'm a grown woman! You can't ground me! I ground you!"

"Whoa," I said, "Calm down!"

"Nope," Marriam said. She turned to the crowd and said, "Get the hell out the way!". Everyone, including me, followed her to the ice cream stand.

"I can eat ice cream whenever the fuck I want to," she said before jumping behind the stand and slurping strawberry straight from the machine. She then wiped her lips and wiped it on my arm.

"Aaaaaah!" I yelled.

The crowd followed her to Cinnabon, where she jumped behind the counter and said, "I can eat all the cinnamon shit I want to!" before stuffing her mouth with cinnamon twists. The crowd followed her back to Footlocker, where she pulled a gun from her purse.

"Put the gun down," I said.

"Who has the damn mall key?" Marriam asked, preparing to cock the trigger. A security guard quickly gave her the key and she said, "Follow me, bitches". We all followed her to Claire's.

"Try to freakin' ground me?" Marriam said before grabbing my ear, "Enjoy your night in Claire's, homie!". She threw me in Claire's.

"This is getting out of hand," I said, "Stop this!".

Johnny and Kimberly passed by and were laughing at the sight.

"Hahahahaha," Marriam mocked them, "Y'all two get your laughing asses in there too!".

"We didn't do shit," Kimberly said as Marriam dragged her and Johnny in Claire's.

"This girl crazy," a man commented.

"You crazy too," Marriam said. She grabbed his ear and threw him in Claire's.

"Who's crazy now, suckaaaaa?!" she yelled. She then twisted the key in a hole beside the store, causing bars to rapidly lock us in.

"I'll get back to you fools at lunchtime," she said. She held Mariah and said, "Come on sugar honey nigger girl, let's bounce out this bitch".

Mariah looked in the bars and said, "Can't ground us! What?!".

A news reporter said, "Live on GTN, two girls painted as a blue Avatar and Spongebob cause chaos and lock consumers in Claire's".

A man passing by said to me said, "Boy you ain't know?"

"Know what?" I said.

"Never let your girl go to the mall with your sister," he said.

"Should've told ya," Johnny said.

"Aw man," I said, holding my head in my hands.