*** So, I know I kind of promised some drama, but then I started writing this chapter and I didn't really feel like writing a whole bunch of dramatic shit. I just wasn't feeling it. There is one part where it gets a little intense, but mostly this chapter is kind of cute and silly. And I hope you guys like it regardless. Maybe the drama will be dished in the next one... Enjoy! ***

*** OH and don't be shy to share your random thoughts and reactions in the comments as you are reading. I love hearing your guys' thoughts!! :) ***

Chapter 13: Not Broken

Butterflies were once again ripping apart my insides. But this time they weren't because of the green hand wrapped around my own. Nope, they were here because behind the dark oak wood doors in front of me was my worst nightmare: daddy dearest. Yes, he was only a projection on a screen, but simply thinking of the sight of his face gave me a sick feeling. I couldn't do this. My training last night had obviously not been enough. There was no way I can enter that room and face him after the hell he put me through.

"I can't do this," I said to Beast Boy, who was patiently trying to convince me to enter the torture chamber, otherwise known as Conference Room 3.

"Yes you can, you're stronger than this." He said confidently, gently stroking my hand with his thumb as a way to help calm my nerves. "C'mon you can do this. Show him how strong you are. Show him that he didn't break you, that no one can break you."

"I-I can't. Trigon... I just can't do it. I couldn't do it before and I still can't do it now." I choked out, quivering from the thought of facing my father.

"Before, you didn't have me here." he replied, gently lifting my chin with his finger. "I'll be right beside you the whole time. Promise."

Oh, he was too good. His green eyes burning into my own, his voice overriding all other thoughts as my body gave into his touch, melting from the warmth of his fingers. Beast Boy sensed my calm as he asked me a few moments later, "Ready to go in there?" I managed a small nod in return. He then took my hand and pulled me to the large wooden doors of the conference room.

The doors opened to reveal a long rectangular room extending to my right. A long table took up the majority of the room. The large windows running the length of the wall directly in front of me were half covered with blinds to block the sun and make the video screen on the furthest wall easier to see. At the far end of the table sat Ezra with one of the castle tech guys, who was currently finishing setting up the computer and video camera necessary for this meeting. A few other committee members, including Fowler, were also spread out along that same end of the table, looking through files or scrolling through the feed on their phones to look busy. It was quite clear as they all looked up as I entered, that they had all been impatiently waiting for me, waiting to see how I would react to seeing my father again.

There were two empty seats across from Ezra and the tech guy, and I quickly made my way to them, trying hard not to let the following stares unnerve me. As though sensing my discomfort, Beast Boy squeezed my hand, sending his strength through me. I was a little nervous as to what the committee members, namely Mr. Fowler, would think if they saw our intertwined fingers, but couldn't care less as I knew it was also the only source of my courage to be here. They could protest us all the wanted, but I needed this right now. And, anyway, he is here as just a friend.

As I sat down in my seat, Ezra passed me a piece of paper. "A copy of the terms, in case you blank." She explained with a small smile. "Are you sure you're up to this? We can still ask Chairman Fowler to take your place."

"I can do this. It's time I face him." I told her, attempting to sound confident. I really do not want Fowler to take my place. I do not trust him a single ounce. Even if the very thought of my father's sinister smile is enough to unravel me, I know I have to do this. I have to prove to both him and myself that he didn't break me. He may have done a lot of shitty things, hurt me in a way that only a father can, and I may have permanent scarring from his tough love, but I'm still here. And it's about time he realized that too.

"My Queen," the tech guy timidly called for my attention. "There are some technical things I'd like to show you before we begin---if you have a minute, that is."

"Of course..."

"Elliot," he supplied his name shyly.

"Elliot." I repeated with a small smile, rising from my chair. I walked over to the corner where he had set up the video camera in front of a black backdrop. He began to instruct me on where I should stand, which part of the camera to look at, how to tell if it was recording, and other things. As I tried to wrap my head around his instructions, I also witnessed in the corner of my eye Ezra and Beast Boy sharing a whispered conversation, which was quite serious by the looks of it. I couldn't focus on that, though, as Elliot once again called for me to look at whatever he was talking about.

When he was satisfied, he let me return to my seat. I ambled over there slowly, hoping to catch some tidbit of their conversation before they clammed up at my appearance. Beast Boy's face was down as he listened intently to Ezra who was facing away from me. My presence was unknown.

"-first sign of trouble, you get her out of here." I heard Ezra instruct Beast Boy, who nodded in agreement. They were already planning escape routes in case I couldn't handle this? Even Ezra didn't think I could do it. And Beast Boy! Where was his encouragement now? That's it, now I really have to go through with this and prove to all of them how strong I've gotten, even if I don't really feel all that strong. I refuse to prove their worries correct.

"Find anything interesting to talk about while I was gone?" I asked them cheerfully as I quickly strode back over to my seat.

"Oh, nothing too much," Ezra replied with a smile, though I caught her eyes flicking over to Beast Boy's, as if to say 'play along'.

"Yeah, nothin' much." Beast Boy agreed beside me. "What'd Elliot have to show you?"

"Oh, nothin' much," I mimicked them before Fowler called for everyone's attention.

"It's time." He called, sending me a questioning glance, as if to silently ask if I wanted him to do it instead. Without answer, I rose from my chair and gracefully tread over to my spot in front of the backdrop, acting every bit the regal queen I am. Elliot was waiting by the computer, preparing to initiate the call. In front of me was the video screen, which was currently black, but would very soon portray an enlarged real-time picture of daddy-dearest. I steeled my insides, freezing my heart over and tucking away all thoughts, feelings, and memories of him. They didn't matter today. This was about Terra and her connection to him that has brought destruction upon my friends and my city.

"Ready?" Elliot asked me. I took in one last deep breath of air and exhaled it through my nose, before nodding my head. I can do this, I told myself. I'm not broken. Not yet.

Elliot clicked a button on the computer and the screen in front of me changed from pure black to black with three dots that blinked in a series as the call connected. Within a few seconds the call was accepted and my father's red demon face filled the screen. He'd given up his human disguise (the Trigon I remember as my father) a long time ago, which I almost don't mind. It makes it easier to hate him, despite our biological ties.

"Raven. You look good." He greeted me sweetly, almost, for a split second, sounding like a real father. I squashed the thought immediately.

"Trigon," I addressed him, not unnecessarily coldly. My tone wasn't angry or harsh, but it spoke of business and showed little warmth, a tone my father did not very much like.

"No need to be so formal, my daughter," he said with his dreaded smile.

"I rescinded your title of father a long time ago," I told him coldly. "I am here only for business purposes."

"Very well," he grunted, unhappy with my response. "I read through your proposition, and I must say, I was rather surprised. I had not expected you to be so merciful to your former jailer."

"We all fall into mistakes. And this isn't just for her." I explained, somehow finding the strength to look him in the eyes. Being just a projection helped a lot, I couldn't imagine how I'd react if he were actually here.

"For what then?" He wondered aloud. "Oh your friend---the green one---yes, he was always rather infatuated with her. Too bad for you he prefers blondes so much." He answered his own question, a mischievous glint in his eyes at the last comment. I refused to let it bother me. After all, if the last few days have proven anything, it's that preferences can change, as Beast Boy's certainly have. But I didn't have to prove this to him.

"Actually, it's for Jump City, which your Skyffers are tearing to hell, against our deal." I corrected him sharply.

"Oh, you mean the deal we made two years ago? The one you broke off when you escaped my wonderful company?" He sneered.

"Well, it appears you've broken it several times too." I argued. "Skyffers in my city, the attacks on Azarath, my mother..."

"Oh, my darling, I'm afraid you are mistaken. For, I released your mother, as you had asked. If she is still missing, I assure you I had nothing to do with it. And, if you'll remember correctly, the attacks began after your little break-out."

"We'll come back to this conversation later," I snarled, unsure whether to believe him or not. "Right now we are here to discuss another contract. You've read my terms, are you willing to accept?"

"No." He stated simply. "I have no need for your pathetic monetary amounts and the land options proffered provide no real advantage. To take an asset, one must provide another, which you have failed to do."

"A rogue agent can't really be that much of an asset." I dared to argue.

"Because of her I have an excuse to upset your town, to attack your friends. She is much more of an asset as a rogue than a house dog. Funny how that works out." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Fine, what are you proposing?" I asked him with a sharp glare.

"Well, I do miss having you here," he suggested. Across the room, Beast Boy released a low, menacing growl at the notion, which Trigon must have heard as his eyes perked up. "Oh, you brought your friend here, how sweet. Perhaps he doesn't favor blondes after all." He teased, though it was far from friendly. I resisted the urge to huff and roll my eyes, a most un-queen-like thing to do and a sure sign of his getting to me.

"My return is out of the question," I told him sternly.

"Relax, I was only kidding. Though it would be fun," I narrowed my gaze at this, which he chose to ignore. "What I really do want, though, is your South Tower. This I am not kidding about."

"What makes you think I would give you a military tower inside our main borders?" I asked incredulously.

"You want my best asset. I want something of value in return. South Tower, or nothing. Feel free to take a few minutes to deliberate." He responded, pausing the feed to let us talk in privacy.

"This girl can't really be worth our strongest military tower?" Fowler snarled, initiating the debate.

"This isn't just for 'some girl', it's for Jump City too. Which I have sworn to protect as a Titan." I argued.

"How about a compromise?" Another court member suggested shyly. A few others nodded in agreement to the suggestion. I thought about it a minute before responding.

"We could give him the tower, but insist on around-the-clock military surveillance." I proposed, waiting for Fowler's response.

"And a security search before entrance to the kingdom." He added.

"Do we agree?" I asked the other committee members. Many of them nodded and none outright said no, so the motion carried as we didn't have all day to deliberate. Just as we were finishing, Trigon returned.

"Come to a decision, have we?" He asked excitedly. He had plans and I feared what our tower would play in them but for now we would have to oblige his demands and deal with the consequences later.

"We'll give you your tower, however, you must comply with a security search before entering Azarath."

"Fine," he shrugged, as though he had expected that.

"And Azarath military soldiers will be positioned outside around-the-clock." I added.

"I would expect nothing less." He smiled, as if I had passed some test of his. "I must say, your negotiation skills have grown stronger. You'll make a good queen, yet." He continued, confirming my idea of his testing me. And he almost looked...proud. Which gave me an odd, and not entirely unpleasant, feeling. I shouldn't want his approval, but getting it didn't feel wrong. In fact, it stirred some feeling inside which hadn't been touched before. A carnal need for acceptance that had never before been fulfilled, or at least not for a very long time. I buried it deep within me and saved it to think of later.

"So we agree then? You will terminate your contract with Terra and repeal your attacks on Jump City in exchange for South Tower in the terms aforementioned." I confirmed.

"Yes, you have a deal." He smiled sinisterly. I was again fearful of what this deal would lead to, but couldn't change it now.

"Our contractor will send you the paperwork." I finished, ready to be done with this conversation. His burning red gaze was starting to get to me and I was unsure of how much longer I could take this.

"A pleasure doing business, daughter." He said in his sweet, fatherly voice, the voice that almost made me forget my hatred for him. Almost. I was just about sure that it was over, when his final parting words reached my ears. "Be good, now, sweet Raven."

They weren't menacing. They didn't really have any sort of emotion. But they shook me all the same.

My body trembled as I pictured his smirk, disappearing into the shadows as he left me to my fate. I could almost feel the pain---burning on my back, my arms, my most vulnerable parts---as a thousand memories replayed themselves at the same time.

I was falling, or so it seemed. I couldn't really tell. The world was sideways and blurred, and much darker than I remembered.

Elliot must have ended the call. His voice was gone. But it wasn't. It was here, in my head. It was always in my head.

But there were other voices too. "What happened? Is she okay?" I wanted to answer, but my voice was gone. And they were far away, I doubted they could hear me if I tried.

They were almost faded now. I couldn't see them. I couldn't hear them. Where is everyone going? Beast Boy?

Vaguely I registered someone picking me up. I panicked even more. Who was he? Where was he taking me? I need my friends. I didn't deserve this. Please, don't hurt me, again. I begged him silently. I couldn't make my muscles work as I continued to tremble in his arms, scared of what he'll do.

He was walking now, but the world was falling from under me and I couldn't hold on any longer. It was no use. I couldn't make the darkness part. Somewhere along the line I gave in, succumbing to the darkness, praying I'd wake up again. Praying I'd be okay this time. And all the while I thought, I'm not broken, even though I knew it was a lie.
__________________________

Beast Boy's Point of View

"She's asleep, finally," I informed Ezra, as I carefully closed the door to Raven's bedroom behind me.

"Good," she replied quietly, looking relieved, though I could tell she was still stressed by something.

"What is it?" I prompted her to tell me.

"I just thought she was getting better." she admitted guiltily.

"She is," I told her confidently. "Some triggers are just harder to forget than others." Who knows what had followed after that statement, 'be good now'. I could think of plenty of things she may have had to 'be good' for. Especially after last night's conversation, I now had a whole new perspective on the last two years. Having heard where she had been, I had of course guessed at the things that might have been done. Obviously physical abuse had been a factor, I had seen the scars from that, and clearly there had been quite a bit of mental abuse as well.

But to think of my Raven being used in a sexual way... I had banished the thought, hoping it had not been true. What kind of "father" allows that kind of shit to happen? Encourages it, even. Trigon reached a whole new level of disgusting in my book. It was a wonder Raven had allowed me to get so close thus far. Despite all that has happened to her, she is still standing, still fighting. Countless times I pushed her, unknowingly, to the edge of her comfort level. And each time she faced me with that emotionless expression, refusing to let me see what lay deeper. Until last night, that is.

God, seeing her so broken, so fragile, like that... I wanted to kill the man responsible for her pain. And for a moment, I had feared I was the cause of it. Then she revealed the kind of things that really happened in that cage... I am still trying to get my head wrapped around it all.

And even though the new-found information disturbs and upsets me, and even makes me second guess everything I do around her, I am also grateful that she felt comfortable enough to tell me. Raven is not exactly one to discuss her own feelings or experiences. She opens up when she wants to, when she is with her most trusted of friends. And Somehow, through some odd turn of fate, that trusted friend ended up being me. Not that I am surprised, we always have been pretty close. It was always easy for me to open up to her, and it is nice to see that she is able to do the same.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. Ezra pulled the device from her clutch and after one look at the ID, said to me, "I've got to take this call, it's Dr. Carroll." Then, almost as a second thought she continued wearily, "I also need to deal with the committee members... and then the press... keep an eye on Raven?" I nodded vigorously, though she was too distracted to notice.

"Yeah, of course," I called to her retreating figure that was rapidly making its way down the hallway. "Always."

_______________________

Inside Raven's bedroom I tried to find something to entertain myself. This was of course a great opportunity for me to do some snooping. Here I am in Raven's room, with permission, whilst Raven is sound asleep, practically dead to the world. The room is mine. The things I could discover with this freedom... but where to start?

The bookcase! She loves to read, maybe even write. Perhaps she keeps a diary, or a journal, which is basically a more mature word for a diary. I wonder what she would write about... I wonder what she would write about me. I mean I'm an important person in her life, surely I would be mentioned in a diary if she kept one.

I rushed over to the bookcase like a kid in a candy store, eager to uncover more of her secrets. How many more opportunities like this will I get? Probably zero. Novels, some Latin books, some weird symbol language books... where is the diary? Surely she has a diary? All girls have diaries...

I tried the windowsill next. There were a few photo albums here, but still no journals or diaries. I settled for one of the photo albums instead. The one I had chosen had a black leather spine. There wasn't a date, but it looked newer than the others. I opened it to the first page to see a collage of pictures of our team's faces gathered from newspapers and magazines that made up a sort of cover page entitled 'Our Family'. It was cute and crafty and certainly not something Raven would do. As I flipped through the book to find a name of the book's maker, a folded piece of paper fell out.

What's this? I wondered as I picked it up and unfolded it, checking over my shoulder to make sure Rae was in fact still sleeping. It was a letter written in pink gel pen and signed by our dear friend Star. Of course, who else would go through the work of putting together a photo album for Raven?

Dear Friend Raven,

Happy 20th Birthday! I wish you could be here to celebrate with us. (sad face)

I do hope this letter finds you. Slade said he would do the delivering of it. Quite funny is it not? We are now the friends with the enemy. Robin says he has agreed to do the rescuing. They have discussed in great length about it. Friends Cyborg and Beast Boy know nothing, though, as you had asked. But we are all missing you and rooting for your strength through these tough times.

On a happier note, I made a present for you. A photo album. Ezra has it at the castle for when you come back. I know you are scowling, but please do not. I know the sight of our faces will bring you much of the joy. There are some charming pictures of Beast Boy losing to Cyborg in those ridiculous competitions they always have. Those always bring you the cheer! (smiley face)

I hope you are doing well. I miss you so much and wish I could come for you right now, but Robin says I must have the patience. It is hard, though. Take care, friend, and stay strong. We will come to save you very soon.

Love, Star (heart)

Starfire and Robin knew where Raven was the whole time? And neither of them ever thought that maybe I would have liked to have been included in this? Great, that's a shot to the heart. Raven didn't want me to know. She let Robin know all about her afflictions but didn't once think to tell me!

In fact, telling me and letting me in hadn't been in her agenda at all. If we hadn't needed her help with this Skyffer issue, I still wouldn't know what had happened to her. I probably wouldn't even know if she was alive. How ridiculously selfish of her to keep me so out of the loop. And here I thought I was supposedly so special to her. Clearly I was the last person she cared about on the team.

She probably secretly has it for Robin. Charming, handsome, put-together Robin. She did choose him that day things went to hell on her birthday, almost four years ago. And when the world almost ended, it was Robin who went to go find her and bring her back. Dating Starfire or not, Robin will probably always be her first choice. And I mean, seriously, who can compete with him? He's perfect.

I looked over the note again, stopping at the part talking about pictures of me. Curious as to what Star had been writing about, I flipped the photo album back open and skimmed through the photos. Some of them were from before Raven's leaving, some of them were from while she was gone. There were big group photos as well as selfies and candid pictures from the beach or the park or even just at the house. A lot of the pictures were also drawn on with quotes or hearts and stars. Starfire had clearly put a lot of work into this.

It didn't take too many pages of pictures for me to notice a motive to Starfire's making this album. It was pretty clear after one picture of me at the beach showing off my guns. Star had taken the liberty of enlarging my already bulging muscles and defining my six-pack. In a speech bubble Star had written, "Hey, Rae" which I am sure was meant to be read in a sexy voice. A few pages after that one, I came across a second picture. In this one I was sad, at the time probably from something stupid Cyborg had done, but Starfire had used her pink pen to draw tears rolling down my face. A thought bubble above my head said "I miss you, Rae". At the bottom of the page, Star had written, "All jokes to the side, he really does miss you." with a winky face next to it.

There were many other pictures featuring me. Somewhere, somehow, Star had gotten a hold of some pictures of Rae and I together- sitting on the couch, arguing across from each other at the table, me tackling her at the beach or annoying her at the park. And each photo endorsed our potential relationship in some way: hearts above our heads, reddish pink marker coloring our cheeks in a blush, flirty dialogue. It was quite clear which fandom Starfire shipped.

And what had seemed like an innocent photo album at the beginning now appeared to be Starfire's not-so-subtle way of encouraging Rae to accept her feelings for me. Notes at the bottoms of pages, signed (heart) Star, reminded Rae to "give him a call" or "just tell him already". All to which I am sure, Raven just shook her head before turning the page and moving on.

But if Starfire was dedicated enough to our relationship to create a whole photo album of us, surely that meant there was some cause for her suspicion. Star is Raven's closest girl friend, if anyone knew about Raven's secret crushes, it would be Star. Maybe Raven really does feel something more for me after all...

I tucked the note back into the photo album and placed it back on the shelf where I had found it, trying to make it look as untouched as possible. It hadn't been a diary, but it had definitely been informational. Apparently Robin and Starfire were keeping secrets, and Rae might harbor actual feelings for me. Two things that would have been learnt from a diary, so I guess it worked well enough.

Looking for another distraction, I continued to examine her room. It was pretty simple. White and purple were the main colors. The rich hard wood floors added to the home-like charm of the place. It was modern in design, but comfortable as well, and it reflected Raven's personality pretty accurately. If I were to imagine a room for her, this is probably what I would have imagined, or something similar. It was a lighter, happier version of Rae, the true Rae despite how little it is seen. She may act all indifferent and depressing, but I know it's all a front, a way to distance herself. In fact I'm sure somewhere in her closet she owns the color pink. Because I know Raven, and deep down she is as much of a girl as Starfire.

Needing to test this theory, I sneaked into her closet. If I were something pink, where would I hide? I mused, scanning the walls of white painted wood drawers and closet doors. I started with the closest section of closet doors and threw them open to find a rack of various shirts and jackets, all dark or neutral in color. Not in here, I thought as I moved on to the next one. Many drawers later I learned that Raven owns a lot of t-shirts in blacks, grays, blues and purples, but still no pink. I started toward the other side of the room and rummaged through those closets. This side had a section of formal dresses in one closet and a collection of jeans and shorts in the other. I still hadn't found anything even remotely close to pink, though.

Starting to lose hope in the belief of Raven owning the color pink, I wearily moved on to the next set of drawers. There are probably more shirts or pants in these, I thought begrudgingly, pulling the first drawer open. I soon realized this to be a mistake however, as my eyes bulged out of their sockets at the sight. This is not a drawer I should be looking into, I thought as a rogue finger lightly touched the black lace fabric of one of the girl items sitting inside of the drawer. Astonished by my own actions, I quickly stopped and checked over my shoulder for anyone coming to catch me. My animal senses could just barely pick up the sounds of Raven's soft breathing as she still slept, but no other noises could be heard. I was safe.

And curious. What kind of girl things does Raven wear? The thought had never really been one to plague me, but now that I was so close to the answer I was curious.

So, cautiously, I began to comb though the drawer. There were six bras in this drawer, as well as six or seven in the drawer above and the two drawers below. Each bra was a different color, ranging from neutrals to bold blues, purples, and even green. Some of them were patterned. The material varied too; lace, cotton, some satiny type fabric. They were even different shapes. Some were like normal bras with the two straps, some had straps that crossed themselves. Then there were some that had a weird triangle thing in the back, and some others had no straps at all. It was fascinating to see so many different kinds.

But even stranger was the sizing. Most of them were 34C, which I guess sounds pretty average? I don't know. What does C mean? Is the 34 the length of the band? That sounds kind of small. I mean, Raven is pretty slender, but 34 inches around that part? Maybe it's not even measured in inches... what system do they use to measure clothing?

Oh brother, this is like a whole other language. And not to mention the fact that they aren't even consistently the same size. Yes, many of them are 34C (still not quite sure what that means) but then there were some that were 36C, 32D, 34D, and even one lonely 36B. What do these sizes mean? Why are they not the same? If a 34C fits you in one bra, shouldn't that be your size and your only size? How can you be five sizes at the same time? This makes no sense.

*** AN: I actually had a conversation similar to this with a guy friend of mine the other day as I was ordering bras from VS and he noticed they were in different sizes. I tried to explain the concept of different bras different sizes to him and he just did not understand. Guys literally are so confused by girl things, especially bras. But then again, I'm a girl who wears them and even I don't completely understand the whole sizing thing. Haha ***

I closed the drawers, still unsure what to make of the knowledge gained from them, and moved on the next ones. This, however, was another mistake. Possibly an even worse one. I mean bras are one thing, but these things... this feels like crossing a whole other line. I mean, this is something that no friend, no guy, should know about. But I still have a mission to fulfill, and if she were to own anything pink, surely it would be in here. I mean just at first glance I can see so many colors. Bright colors at that: blues and purples, even neon yellow. Who knows, maybe there is a pink one in here too?

And I am curious to know if underwear sizes run so differently like bra sizes do? Is that just a bra thing or is it an all women clothing thing? I mean, these are things to know if I ever want to buy clothing for my future girlfriend or wife, right? These are useful skills I am learning.

At least that is what I will tell myself to subdue the guilty feeling in my stomach.

With a nervous hand, I carefully shifted through the first layer of girl under things. They were made of the same fabrics as the bras, all soft and delicate. I bet that's why they're called delicates, I thought, feeling proud of the small epiphany. The many layers of fabrics were twisted in a mess of colors, many dark (black and grey, dark reds, blues, and purples), but some were bright, even neon. There were patterns and designs, little bows of femininity. They were all so girly, so un-Raven-like.

About halfway through the pile, I found what I had come all this way for. Lying amid the mosh of colors, was something pink. A single pink lace thong buried underneath all the others. I pulled it up with a big school-boy grin. I did it. I proved that Raven did in fact own something pink. So maybe it was just a measly pair of underwear, but it counted in my book.

And then I heard someone clear their throat behind me. Busted.

"What ever are you doing, Friend Beast Boy?" I slowly turned around, a sheepish smile on my face, to face Starfire. Her face, however, was not angry, but rather playful, as if she was finding this funny. I bet Raven wouldn't, though.

"Uh, this? This is... research." I tried to fib.

"Yes, the ever pressing issue of what color panties Raven prefers to wear." she quipped with an amused smirk.

"Actually I just wanted to know if she owned anything pink. And she does." I explained with a nervous laugh, pointing at the pair of underwear still in my hand. She shook her head at my antics.

"Well, don't let Raven catch you." she laughed.

"You won't tell her?" I asked hopefully. She shook her head.

"I won't need to," she smiled. I cocked my head in confusion trying to figure out what she meant. But I didn't need to think too long as another voice rang through the room.

"BEAST BOY WHAT THE HELL!!" Shit. Raven. So much for not getting caught.

"I'm just going to put this back..." I said quietly, moving to put the piece of clothing away before Rae could see. But the guilty smile on my face had given it away anyway and Raven's angry voice stopped me in my tracks as she furiously made her way across the small room.

"EXPLAIN, NOW." Raven said sharply, now standing in front of me beside Starfire.

"Uh... I... um..." As I struggled to think of an appropriate response, Starfire was laughing her head off, apparently finding my discomfort very amusing. Both Rae and I sent her a glare.

"I- I'm much of the sorry." she breathed between laughs. "I have just missed these moments."

"The moments where I beat this green idiot's ass to a pulp?" Raven growled. I swallowed nervously at the menacing look in her eyes.

"Uh, Star, little help here," I pleaded as Rae leaned threateningly close. "Rae?"

"Friend, Raven, it is of the cutest of stories." Star intervened, placing an arm between us to stop Raven from lunging at me. "He has proven you own the color pink."

"I do not own the color pink!" Raven argued.

"Oh but you do! I proved it." I smiled, victoriously waving the pink pair of underwear in her face. This earned myself another sharp glare from Raven as she swiped the piece of fabric from my hands.

"This is horrendously inappropriate, even for you!" she lectured me, her face red with anger.

"To be fair, I didn't come in here specifically to raid your panties... it just happened." I tried to defend myself. Raven smacked my arm soundly, clearly having fully restored her strength from earlier, and dropped the pair of underwear back in the drawer before closing it harshly.

"Out of my closet!" she commanded. I raised both my arms in a sign of surrender and ambled out of her closet, Starfire following behind me in a fit of amused giggles.

It was upon emerging from the closet that it finally dawned on me that Starfire was here, in Azarath, for seemingly no reason at all. In fact I do not even know how she got here. Isn't Raven the only one with that ability?

"Hey, Star, I'm glad to see you, but what are you doing here? And how did you get here?" I asked the alien, needing to satisfy my curiosity.

"Friend Raven and I are having the night of girls!" she said excitedly.

"Okay...?" I said, more like a question. Not quite believing that Rae had really called for this so-called 'night of girls'. But I mean, she does own pink underwear, so who knows. "But, how did you get here?"

"Raven cast a portal," she said, though she didn't sound too sure of her response.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure Raven just woke up and is far from being in the condition to cast portals." I argued skeptically.

"I'm fine," Raven grumbled from behind me. I sent her a sharp look.

"No you're not, and you should be resting still." I told her, remembering what the medical physician had said. Raven rolled her eyes in defiance. "And I would have heard you if you had come through the bedroom. So that means you must have came in through the closet, but Raven closed that portal before leaving, didn't she?"

"Uh, well, not quite." Raven admitted guiltily. "I decided to keep it open last minute, just in case."

"In case someone, say Starfire or Robin, needed to get to Azarath, right?" I accused, working it all out in my head.

"Beast Boy," she said carefully, a defeated look in her eyes. I shook my head and turned to Starfire.

"And when were you and Boy Wonder gonna tell Vic and I that this whole time you knew right where Raven was?" I asked her, my voice hitched just slightly. I was pissed, at both of them. The lies Raven fabricated to 'protect' us and that Robin and Starfire blindly support. Starfire flinched from both the question and the harshness of my voice.

"Don't be angry with her," Raven snapped at me. "I told them not to tell, against their better judgement. So, if anything, be angry with me."

"Oh, I am!" I shouted. Her pissed-off expression faltered and I sighed as I realized that I had offended her. "I didn't mean---I'm not angry. But I am a little hurt."

"Star, can we have a minute?" Raven asked the redheaded alien softly. Starfire glanced between the both of us before smiling softly.

"Yes, I will give you the minute of privacy." she said excusing herself from the room. Once the door had closed behind her, Raven released a short sigh and led me over to the couch in front of the TV.

"Let's have a talk," she said, taking a seat. I sat beside her, keeping several inches between us. After a few moments, she cleared her throat to begin the talk. "First, I suppose I should start with an apology. So, I'm sorry. It was wrong to leave you---and Cyborg---in the dark about this."

"Very wrong, and selfish." I replied harshly.

"I didn't have much choice, though." she continued to argue. "I didn't want them to know in the first place, but Slade needed a couple extra hands for the plan and Star would've found out anyway, being royalty herself, and Robin---I tell Robin everything. I couldn't just not tell him about this."

"But obviously it was pretty easy for you to not tell me." I seethed.

"It wasn't easy," she admitted. "Do you honestly think that I enjoyed lying to you? To replay your phone messages over and over again, because they were the last thing I had left of you? And the whole time to sit there, knowing that you had absolutely no idea that I was okay, that I was alive. Because, honestly, I didn't. I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to go to you and tell you everything."

"Then why the hell didn't you? Why did Robin get to know, but not me?" I demanded, my voice raised in anger.

"Because I couldn't hurt you." she yelled back, just as frustrated. I could see the beginnings of tears pricking her eyes and a knot welled up at the sight of her fragility. "And I knew that---" her voice broke off, as she looked away, deliberating over her next words. "I knew that if anyone could talk me out of leaving, it'd be you. So if you didn't know where I was going or that I was leaving at all, I thought, maybe, it'd be easier."

She finished her explanation, swiping a few rogue tears away with the backs of her hands and trying to keep herself together. But her front was cracked, and I could see the mess of her damaged heart through all of the broken pieces. And seeing this dissolved my anger. After all, it was all done in the past. It's time to move on.

"Well that was obviously crap," I said quietly, shifting closer to her. "Now we're both hurt."

"Yeah," she nodded sadly, still looking at the ground. "I guess I ended up hurting you either way."

"Hey," I chastised her softly, unable to stand her hurting. I reached out a tentative hand to just barely touch her arm, not wanting to move too quickly in case I hit another trigger; like last night. She shrugged my hand away, but it wasn't in fear so I knew I was safe to pursue further.

"Rae, please don't pull away," I begged her, lightly grasping her bicep with that same hand. As she once again refused my plea, I took my other hand and placed it against her cheek, turning it just slightly so that she was forced to look at me. Her amethyst eyes were glazed over with a fresh set of tears that were threatening to break free.

"Come here," I whispered, pulling her into my arms. Almost immediately she relaxed into my hold and molded her small frame to mine, wrapping her arms around my waist. Unconsciously my thumb stroked her shoulder blade as I was too caught up in the scent of her lavender perfume to fully notice my actions. Raven did not seem to mind, however, as she released a soft sigh and buried her head into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I broke down on you again," she finally said after several moments of comfortable silence.

"Hey, I'm your friend, your shoulder to cry on. It's what I'm here for." I replied honestly, squeezing just a touch tighter.

"So, does that mean we're good again?" she asked a few moments later. A small smile tugged at my lips at the sight of her vulnerable insecurity.

"Yeah, we're good." I replied, placing a soft kiss on top of her head. She smiled against my shoulder and savored the feeling for a moment longer, before finally pulling away. "Just no more lying, okay?"

"Deal," she agreed happily, pecking me lightly on the cheek. Before I could even register the feel of her lips, however, she had pulled away again and was moving quickly towards the door.

"C'mon, panty raider, time to meet the others for dinner. I'm starving." She taunted, waiting for me to follow and using my newest nickname.

"I told you I didn't raid your underwear drawer on purpose!" I explained myself again.

"Uh, huh, sure..." she smiled. I shook my head, knowing the argument was pointless, and followed her to the dining hall.

____________________________________

Another chapter done! WooHoo!!! Go me!

Sorry this one took a little while... I was very indecisive about how I wanted things to play out... and I still didn't get to the girls' night, but that'll be most of the next chapter. I'm excited! I have big plans for the next chapter :)

But in the meantime while you are waiting for that, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Yay? Nay? COMMENTS are very much appreciated, so spread that love!

Also, a bit of an unrelated side note, my prayers go out to anyone affected by the Paris attacks that happened recently! All of my love and support goes out to you guys!! <3

Thanks again for all of your support of this story! I hope I'm doing you all proud :)

- Rain