I rushed into the physician's chamber and locked the door behind me, ensuring Arthur couldn't follow me in. How could I have been so careless? What if he saw the marks? He is going to hate me. 

My chest starts to constrict as I think about all the things Arthur could to do me if he ever found out about my magic. A hand grips my shoulder, grounding me. I am pulled from the deep well of thoughts and come face to face with Gaius.

"Are you alright Merlin?" Gaius said in a soft voice that made me want to cry. People seem to be asking me that more and more lately and I'm not used to it.

"I- I'm fine." I stutter. Of course my voice would betray me with a tell tale quiver. Gaius said no more and embraced me tightly, managing to chase the bad thoughts away briefly.

"You're not fine Merlin. It's okay to not be fine." I let out a shaky breath followed by streams of salty tears.

"I am just sick of hiding Gaius. I want to tell him everything. But I can't, he will hate me. I have magic Gaius, the very thing Arthur swore he would never allow in his kingdom. How can I expect him to trust me after I lied to him for years? He won't be able to see past my magic, despite the fact I use it for him and only him. I can't let my kingdom down, but I can't let Arthur down either. If I lose him I lose everything Gaius. I can't lose him, I cant lose him."

I sob into his shoulder until my throat is raw and the tears run dry. Once I finish, Gaius leads me to a bench and sits me down, plopping himself next to me. I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them tight to my body.

"Merlin listen to me." I tilt my head so I am facing Gaius. "Arthur is beyond lucky to have you. It is your destiny to protect one another. I have seen how he looks at you, how he values your opinion above all others. Hell he even came to you for advice about the Anahaven situation. Nothing you say or do will drive him away, ever. You are meant for each other. He may need a while to get his head around it, but he will understand. The sooner you tell him the sooner you can regain your kingdom and unite the first two kingdoms of Albion. This is your destiny Merlin, you are exactly where you are meant to be. Arthur will understand. You will not lose him."

He looks at me with such an adoring gaze and it makes me wonder what I have done to deserve such a caring mentor. No father. Gaius has been like a father to me ever since I arrived at Camelot, for some reason or another he cares for me like his own son. I don't deserve any of this.

"I'm not worthy of the crown Gaius. I didn't even search for Hope when I fled Anahaven. I can't rule."

"Merlin you were a boy! Fifteen years old and running for your life. From family none the less. Your Aunt was, no is, cruel and viscous. The last time you saw Hope she was with your Aunt, you had every reason to believe she had died. Do not blame yourself Merlin. You are beyond perfect for the crown. Don't ever let yourself believe you are anything but." Gaius' voice was stern, but with a loving undertone that made me smile.

"Thank you Gaius."

We remained silent for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. That is until a haunting thought came to mind, making my heart quicken.

"Gaius I am going to have to fight her. The last time I faced her I was blasted across the courtyard. She is too strong."

"You really need to stop worrying it's bad for you." Gaius says in a playful tone to which I give him a light scowl. He sighs and continues. "Agatha is an evil witch, that much is true. But her fault, much like Morgana's, is arrogance. She knows her power and is willing to flaunt it in everyone's face. You are humble and pure of heart, a quality that strengthens magic. When the time is right, your power will outshine hers and you shall triumph."

"How can you be sure?" I mumble.

"You're Emrys, the most powerful warlock who has, and will ever, live. If anyone can beat your Aunt it is you."

I nod slowly, trying to convince myself that what he says is true. But it's hard to fight the image of my parents dead at her feet, my sister in her clutches. Aunt Agatha is a horrible soul possessing the darkest magic I have ever seen.

I just hope I will be enough.

"You should rest. Your body is still recovering and your too stressed to function properly." Gaius said as he tugged me of the bench and pushed me in the direction of my room. I don't fight him because truthfully I am exhausted. I slide under my thin covers, not bothering to change. I close my eyes and let the calming sensation of sleep wash over me.