Immense pain flared across my body as a wildfire does to a landscape wrought with drought. How could I feel so much like death if I am already dead? I was thought death would feel peaceful. Why can I only feel pain? The pain I feel indicates I survived, but how? A memory floated to the surface of my mind, there had been a person standing in the doorway after the doors flew off their hinges. Who was that person? Are they the reason why I am alive now? Another flare of pain shredded my thoughts to tiny pieces. I groaned and I heard someone stir. They rushed over to my side and placed a hand on my forehead.

"Sire you're burning up, " the person rumbled. Vus! It had to be. Only he could survive such a feat. Although I had questions of how he managed to send the extremely thick doors of the castle flying off their hinges.

"Vus?"I gasped as I reached out a hand. My painfilled fingers hit a piece of cloth. I grabbed it weakly and rubbed my fingers along the cloth. I ignored the pain flaring from my fingers for a moment, but then released the cloth when the pain became too much to bear. I could tell the person was Vus. His clothes were always slightly rougher than mine but not as rough as the clothes the common people wore. He forced some water down my throat which I choked on and spat out. I attempted to open my eyes but they stayed shut, "Vus, I can't see."

"There's dried blood on your eyelids from the cut on your head," he muttered as I squirmed. He started to wipe away the blood with a wet rag. "Stay still," he hissed at me with a hint of irritation. I suppressed my urge to squirm the best I could. Once he stopped rubbing the rag across my eyelids, he said, "You should be able to see now sire."

I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. We were in a small-sized cave, too small to be a bears den. The cave was lit by a flickering fire by the entrance. Beyond the entrance, I could see trees and a navy blue sky. I looked at exhausted Vus sitting beside me. Blood ran from a wound on his arm and his clothes were singed. He gave me a relieved smile that didn't reach the haunted look in his eyes. I looked at the fire again. It jogged my memory of the fire in the throne room. My father. Elowen. The kingdom. I need to go save them!  I sat up, but before I could stand, Vus placed a heavy palm on my chest and pushed me back down.

"Sire stay lying down. You are in no shape to move, " he said and increased the pressure of his palm on my chest to make sure I wouldn't think attempting to sit up again.

I clenched my fists as an overwhelming sense of frustration and sadness swept through me, " Vus, I'm not a prince anymore don't call me sire. Everyone's dead. I should have saved them." Tears ran down my face as I began to shake. "Why?"I demanded, "Why didn't you let me die with the rest of them? Didn't you know this would be worse? You should've left me to die!"

Vus slapped my face hard enough to make my whole head move to the left, but I barely felt the sting. "Do not be ungrateful for your life! You may not think you're worth anything but your life is more important than anything."I searched his face to see if he was speaking the truth. His dark blue eyes burned with anger and deep sadness, but the longer I looked the more I could see he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. "No matter what you think, you are the king and your kingdom is waiting for you to save it, Aren. Give up on yourself, and you're giving up on anyone who believes in you,"Vus snapped and poked my chest, "Stop pitying yourself and focusing on what you don't have. You have plenty enough of everything inside of you."

I looked away from him as what he said brought warmth to my chest but I pushed it away. I shouldn't feel happy after failing to keep my family alive. If only I mentioned my distrust of the royalty from Ezorlath to my father, he might not have died. I pushed Vus's hand away from my chest weakly. How could I stop focusing on what I don't have when the person with all of it is trying to convince me to stop? I need some time alone and some space.

"Leave me alone Vus," I choked out. I truly didn't want him to leave me alone, but I was tired of seeing my perfect friend who can clearly see my flaws. The look on his face hurt deeply and I couldn't imagine how hurt he felt.

Vus leaned down, somehow managing to bow to me while sitting. "As you wish," he muttered coldly.

He stood up and limped over to the fire. He sat down in front of it taking the warmth for himself. After all I said, I had no right to complain. He took off his shirt and threw it at me along with his cape in a half-hearted attempt at keeping me warm. I stared at his bare back with guilt. I had not meant to hurt his feelings. Why can I never converse in the way I want?

I wanted to appreciate my life, and what Vus risked to save me, but what is the point of being alive if I can't help anyone? I'm useless and untalented. I can't run very well and I can't protect myself at all. I'm too dependent on Vus. How can I be a king when I can't do anything for myself? I don't want to be King. I want to create a kingdom where magical and nonmagical creatures could live together in harmony, but I don't want to be the ruler of the kingdom. I don't want the responsibilities to be placed on my shoulders because I know I will fail just like I failed to protect my family and kingdom.

My kingdom. I wanted to see it one last time. I knew that Vus wouldn't let me go anywhere alone. Asking him to carry me would hurt nothing except what little pride I have left. I hesitated, I only had one chance, "Vus?"

"Am I too close to you your highness? Should I sit outside?"

His words were like another slap to my face. "No. I-I, "I took a deep breath and found myself apologizing, "Vus, I'm sorry. I've been ungrateful and selfish. I know I'm selfishly asking you for another favor, but can I see our home before we leave?" I stared at his back as I waited for an answer. He started to shake and it took me a moment to realize he was laughing. I felt confused, visiting the ruined kingdom we used to live in, is no laughing matter.

I realized his laughter is the painful kind. The kind of laughter you laugh when you are regretting something and you're laughing at your own stupidity. The laughter wracked with guilt. Vus turned around to face me after his painful laughter faded, "There's nothing left Aren. Not even the castle."

I had no reason not to trust his words, but I couldn't believe him. How could a kingdom that had been standing for five hundred years suddenly disappear? I made up my mind, "Nothing you say will change my mind. I want to see it Vus."

"Only if I get to carry you like a princess sire," he said with a snicker. I knew he was laughing at some kind of joke I couldn't understand. I felt too tired to argue with him. I wouldn't be able to stop him either way.

Vus picked me up easily as if I weighed the amount of a feather. He sprinted towards Alas while carrying me and I reached out my hand to touch the trees as we traveled. After a while of running, he slowed down, breathing heavily. He set me down and helped me stand. My limbs were shaky and weak. I wobbled and stared at the ruins of my kingdom. Vus had been right, not even the walls of the castle were standing. It resembled the embers of a giant fire. Broken pieces of white stone littered the ground like snow. Everywhere I turned there was more and more rubble. I saw a hand of a dead person sticking out of the ruins and I felt like vomiting. I could see the remains of what had been cozy homes full of life. Now they were broken and full of death. My stomach rolled inside of me, determined to force its contents up my throat and out of my mouth. Tears fell from my eyes as I remembered what a wonderful kingdom it used to be.

The wind picked up, blowing my curly brown hair into my face. I spat it out and turned to ask Vus if he wanted to say anything when something caught my eye. A piece of fabric, trapped under large pieces of stone, fluttered in the wind. I pointed it out to Vus and he pulled the stones up letting the fabric fly free. He caught the fabric before it flew away and brought it over. I took it and turned it over. A tattered flag of Alas looked back at me. The light blue background and the white dove wings no longer looked bright. The flag looked sad to me as if it had been waiting for a savior. I rolled it up and clenched it in my hand. Looking at the burned remains of my home I seethed to Vus, "they will pay for what they did to our home."

"Retribution," Vus muttered simply.

"Yes," I replied without giving it much thought. I wanted revenge and vowed wordlessly to get it or die. At that time, I didn't know how much weight that one word could carry. Frustration and anguish controlled my thoughts I wanted to get revenge at all costs. I was foolishly unaware of how many lives my quest for revenge would take. My whole life I had it easy when considering the hard lives others had to live. Unaccustomed to the dangers of this world, I did not know how difficult getting revenge would truly be. It did not occur to me I might lose the person who matters most to me in the process.