"Episode 7 - Hunt him down and kill him."

Anna and I exchanged numbers on New Year's night. She seemed to know nearly everyone in town and always invited me to hang out with her and her friends. I did once, a couple of days after the New Year's night. At first, I was hoping for a small get to know each other lunch but she invited all her friends and their kids.

I felt like an extra in a mommy and me class. It was so awkward, I wanted to vomit. All the woman spoke of babies and what their kids did. I'm sure someone who was normal would know how to react in such a situation, unlike me. Anna picked up on it, tried to make me feel included by asking me personal question which forced me to clamp up even more.

She was kind and pretty. The girl next door type personality. When I bid my goodbye, feeling bad she asked for Gabe and I to go over to her house for dinner the following week. I wanted to decline but Gabe was right. We needed Xavier and his army. After all, we had a common enemy.

"This is a bad idea." I told Gabe, brushed on some bubble gum lip gloss over my lipstick. "We'll have lie like hell."

"I know that. We've practised it enough times." He put on a sweater over his t-shirt. A t-shirt that he outgrew within months.

"Did we gain weight?" I wondered. My clothes still fit but it did feel a bit tighter.

"We finished a whole damn turkey." He said making me laugh. He was right. "But we work out every day for 4 to 5 hours. It's muscles, so don't worry." He slapped my butt before going out to warm up the engine. I looked at myself in the mirror, flexed my biceps in front of the mirror. The little tight bump surprised me.

My body harder, tighter and stronger. Even my butt felt firmer.

I smiled big. Proud of my hard work.

I hand wrote the address off my phone and kept it saved under a loose floor board where we stuffed all the cash. Living off the grid meant no electronics so hand written numbers and addresses were essential. After I was done putting all layers of clothes on, I headed out, locking the door behind me.

"Should we take some flowers? Or something?" I wondered out loud, getting in the car.

"In this snow?" His snarky remake hit the wrong spot.

"I wasn't going to pick it myself." He had the audacity to laugh. "Stop laughing."

"Sorry babe." He took out a chocolate bar from the glove compartment. "Have this."

I took the in my hand, a sudden realisation hit me like a ton of bricks. Annoyed, I slumped back in my seat. "OH COME ON." I moaned. He couldn't help but lift his lips. One side of his lips higher than the other, a crooked smile that I adored. That I lived for. "At least it's better than being pregnant."

"True." He sighed. We'd never talked about kids. Why would we? We lived a nomadic life, with a psycho hunting us down but I doubt that was the reason. I think we both didn't like or much care for kids.

"Can I ask you something?" I eyed the candy in my hand.

"Yes."

"You don't want kids right?" Even though I was tempted to open it, I didn't want to ruin my appetite. Throwing the bar back in the compartment, I closed it.

"Do you?" I could see how uncomfortable he was by that question. Shifting in his seat, he partially turned towards me, as much as his seat belt would allow him.

"No."

A sigh of relief left his lungs. Reaching out, he took my hand in his. "I wouldn't object-"

"I would." I stated firmly. "When Anna asked me to meet her, I didn't expect her to introduced me to her friends. It was all pregnant bellies and screaming kids. Like, how can someone live like that? They kept complaining about lack of sleep yet they are pregnant with their second one like why torture yourself?"

"Whenever I go out, like a restaurant of something and there's a crying baby and the parents aren't doing anything. I realised later that they are used to it where as we aren't. Not only that, I don't have good memories of kids from foster homes. So, I'm opposed to it." I nodded along.

"Exactly. We don't have an idea of a normal childhood should look like. How can we pass it on if we don't have the knowledge of it? Thank you." I leaned forward and kissed his bearded cheek. "You need to trim a little."

"I'll do it when I get home." We allowed a comfortable silence settle between us before I spoke up.

"I remembered something. I had a cousin called Santiago who was more like my older brother. Number 5 candle was stuck on my birthday cake and Xavier came. With his parents. My parents were friends with his. He was friends with my cousins. Xavier seemed to know me very well. He was awfully kind to me." I finally told him.

It had been eating me alive. "I want to remember more of my childhood. The time I lived with my real parents." They seemed beautiful. I wanted to replace the memories I had with the ones I supressed.

"Do you remember them? What they looked like?" When he tried to soften his tone, it just sounded rougher.

"I do now. My real father..." Something locked in my throat. "...he gave me everything I asked for. Santiago, he was my favourite cousin. He gave me a damn tiara. Xavier's mom gave me a wrapped gift box which I can't remember opening it but Zavi gave me a teddy bear." A wounded gasp escaped my heart.

"Baby."

"It's Santiago. He was more like my brother, someone I looked up to. Who protected me and like my ... father, he gave into my every whim. I wonder what would he do now if he was alive. If my father found out that I'm alive, would he still come for me?" I wondered out loud.

"He must. Or I'll hunt him down and kill him." He said that with such vehemence, I felt it in my bones.

"Thanks but no need. We don't even know where he is."

As we drove to Xavier's house I told him about how he met Anna. Told him about how Anna was kidnapped and Xavier saved her from Laurence Capone. I remembered that day night, he ruined nearly everything in the living room when he came back from the auction.

I sat on top the staircase, listening to him rant about Xavier De La Cruz disrespecting him by buying a girl from right under his nose. I scoffed, happy that someone else was out there in the world who was brave enough to go against Capone.

They lived in a lovely three story suburban house. Vast open area of land surrounded, the house. Wide porch surrounded the whole house. The sky was black, sprinkled with stars across it's canvas.

We climbed up the stone steps to his, with a box of chocolate for their kid. Anna opened the door, letting a stream of yellow light out on to the porch. The foyer was big enough to hold a cabinet, filled with trophies and certificates of their son and a couple of family photos. We took off our coats and scarfs, placed it in the closet under the stairs.

"You have a lovely home." I commented, looking around the house when she showed us to the light and cost lounge. Totally opposite to what ours looked like. Xavier entered from another room with couple of glasses and a bottle of wine.

"I got red, if you want white, I can get that too." He smiled.

"I'm driving home." Gabe shook his head.

"I don't drink." I thanked him otherwise.

"More for me then." He shrugged.

There must have been a weird expression on my face when we sat down because Anna immediately leapt up in his defence.

"He's joking." She laughed awkwardly. "We don't drink much." Nervously, she tucked her hair behind her ear. She was wearing a pretty long sleeved blue dress that ended up to her knees. I opted for jeans and a swear. Something casual and simple.

Xavier was in slacks and sweater in contrast to Gabe who sported a t-shirt and jeans.

"Relax Anna, there are worst things in the world than drinking a couple of glasses of wine, right Gabriel?"

My heart sunk.

Oh shit.

Without missing a beat, Gabriel lifted his lips making his face look menacing. The scar on his left cheek was hidden perfectly by his thick beard and I knew what that smile looked like with the scar in view. It usually was a smile of a sadistic killer but to me, it was of my soul mate.

"You're right. We live in a world where woman gets kidnapped, kids die for no reason and bad people with money get away with murder. Trust me, a glass of wine every now and then won't hurt anyone."

Both Xavier and Anna's face drained of colour.

Oh double shit.

They stared at each other like they wanted to bolt. Gabe shook his head. "I used to work for special forces. We came across all sorts of things."

There was a moment of pin drop silence before they sighed in relief.

"Of course." Xavier left 2 glasses empty and half-filled his one. "Why did you leave?"

The truth about telling a perfect lie is to not lie at all. Just add or subtract from the real story.

"I was shot in action." He shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal. Like he didn't absently rub his knee when he stood in the cold for too long.

"I'm sorry about that." Anna sympathised, rubbing her big belly.

"It's fine. Now I get to travel with my wife." Gabe rubbed my back.

We made small senseless conversation before dinner was served. It was yet another big room with lots of light, Xavier and Anna were much more of the social type. They kept the conversation going and we did our best to keep up. They really were trying to make friends with us but something about the setting didn't seem right to me.

They were trying to be overly friendly to an outsider. I was so stressed, I wanted to pull my hair out of frustration. Xavier sat at the head of the table, Anna next to him. Gabe sat opposite her, with me furthest from Xavier. Yet, his eyes, ever so slightly, sneaked a peak at me with curious gaze. I knew he was trying to think of where he saw me. Why I looked similar to him.

I usually attended Capones' extravagant parties. When I was younger, they kept me locked away while people laughed, drank and dined downstairs. I was too young, too scared to make a sound. Jude terrified me, especially after what he would do to me.

When Daniella came, things got slightly easier. Mason wouldn't have married her if his mother, Lydia hadn't force him. After Daniella was killed when we tried to escape, I never once tried to escape and with Jude being gone, things became slightly easier.

Stockholm syndrome. It was the only life I knew of.

Mason stopped caring and allowed me to attend parties when I was around 19. That's when I started sleeping with nearly any client that they had a dinner party for. It always gave Mason a win at first but when I stopped sleeping with them and they pulled out of Mason's business deals, it made him lose money. That gave me the greatest pleasure of all.

Sighing, I finished off the stake Anna served. When I lifted my glass of water, my sixth sense pulled my attention towards Xavier who was watching me from the corner of his eyes. The minute we made eye contact, he lowered his gaze.

"Xavier." I called him out. He suddenly started choking on his stake. After drinking some water, he calmed down.

"Sorry, yes."

"Where are you originally from?" I asked like they did at first. We lied. We told them we were from California. I was a casting agent and Gabe just got discharged from army. That was a good market in Los Angeles.

"Illinois. A small town." He waved his hand like it was nothing.

Liar. I wanted to say but refrained from it. Because we were lying ourselves.

"Do you drive to Portland every day? In this snow, for work?" I asked.

"No I don't. I have someone who takes care of the Portland business. I go there every now and then but I fully manage shop I have in town." He explained.

"What about you, Anna?" I asked

"I used to teach English at Mountilse High but now I'm due soon. So, I'll be taking a year out." She smiled. A soft, carefree smile that emanated pure joy. A type of genuine smile that was hard to come by and that's when I realised why I had a hard time liking her.

She didn't have the shadows under her eyes like I did. She was captured, like I was but the light in her eyes wasn't killed. Someone saved her. Someone didn't let her soul die. She was untouched and pure when someone protected her. Her smile wasn't snatched from her. She wasn't dead inside, like me and many other girls who are or were like me. Anna wasn't violated like we were.

She was saved.

Unlike me.

My eyes stung. Gulping, I looked down, played with the scraps of the food left on my plate. I looked at the pointy ends of the fork and imagined sticking that fork in her eye. Looking up, I put the fork down as Gabe took over the conversation.

My leg started to shake absently. Restless leg syndrome, even if that's a thing.

The desert was homemade lemon cheesecake which was too sour for my taste or maybe it was perfect. It could be that I decided not to like it because she made it. Everything inside me was conflicted and it irritated me.

Once we were done, we moved into the library lounge. Anna loved reading books so he built her a library. It might have looked romantic to some people, to me, it was over the top cheesy Disney princess re-enactment. It was difficult for me to not roll my eyes every time she confessed about something cute he did for her.

Getting sick of it, I yawned, feigning tiredness. Hugging Anna was hard because of her belly which, even I had to admit, was quite funny. The anguish inside me, ebbed a little. It wasn't her fault that she was saved. It wasn't her fault to get kidnapped either. Truth be told, she was a great mom and a kind person.

It made me wonder what type of a person would I have become if I wasn't kidnapped.

Xavier pulled my out of my internal monologue.

"It was nice seeing you guys again. Maybe we can talk, you should come by the store." He made sure that Anna an ear shot away.

"No worries. Thanks for the invitation." I felt a sense of unease with him. He was too clever to fall for the ruse we were putting up. After all, he ran a whole damn empire.

Unlocking the truck with his key, Gabriel went around towards the driver's side the dodge while I clicked the passenger side door open.

"Wait." Xavier whispered. I turned, faced him in the darkness. The yellow light from inside the truck lit up his light blue eyes in the darkness. "Do you know who I am?"

My heart dropped but I tried my best to not let it show on my face. Breathing out slowly, I felt the cold air graze my face.

"From the store?" I played dumb.

"No. I guess not." He didn't believe me. It was evident in his voice and expression.

Chuckling, I shook my head, getting in the car. He closed the door after me with a soft thud. Waving, we backed away and turned, as we ventured into the darkened road, only lit by the headlights of the car.

"He's suspicious." I concurred.

"Wouldn't you be?" His question was more like a statement. Suddenly, he chuckled "You really don't like Anna do you?"

"She's too alive for me." I leaned back against the door, so I could face him properly.

"I picked up on it."

"I imagined stabber her with my fork." I was surprised at myself for such violent thoughts towards someone who is kind. I usually thought about torturing people who hurt me, not the ones who made diner for me.

"Why?" He laughed.

"She smiles too much. The amount of times she smiles in a minute. I smile in a week. How is that possible?"

"I didn't mind Xavier though." He shrugged. "He's smart."

"Neither did I." We kept driving. The silence and the darkness surrounding us.

"It's not that I didn't like her. I'm jealous of her. She was saved and I wasn't. Every time she's happy, I feel like she's laughing at me. Because she still has that joy inside that I don't. It irks me." I confessed, he turned towards our lodge.

"I guess, it's not her fault. Sometimes fate is kinder to others. I always felt like there was no one watching over me. I was always wondered what crime I committed to get punished so severely but sometimes fate just picks people to help. Isn't it?" Bringing the car to a halt, he faced me.

"You're right. The ones who aren't picked, we have to do whatever it is to survive." He smiled a deadly smile. "We will make our own fate. Even if it means snatching others' good fate for us." We were killers and we preferred it that way. Life didn't give us a chance so we take whatever we need.