My whole body was numb. Everything happened so fast. Ezra was behind me in seconds and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back hard into him, relieved to have him touching me again. He was the only thing that kept me grounded.

"He didn't mean any of it." Ezra whispered in my ear. "He is just hurt. He cares about you more than you'll ever know."

"But he said it." I whispered. I was surprised Ezra had not gone off the deep end about the kiss. I was waiting for the hard anger he used to give me; instead, I was getting sweet understanding. The shift threw me off balance.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Aiden. I didn't know how."  I said, pulling him closer to me.

"You don't owe me anything, my beautiful girl." He whispered into me.

He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach when I felt his warm breath on me. My body was vibrating from the adrenaline rush from the argument and my head was foggy. I wanted to feel something to forget how bad I made things.  I needed an escape.

I turned around and looked into Ezra's eyes; the blue ice was lined with flames as they smoldered down into me. Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his mouth to mine. I forced his lips open with my tongue. I wanted to taste him.

My tongue ring spun circles over him. I pulled back and bit his lip ring taking it between my teeth before pulling it into my mouth. He groaned and pushed himself against me as I sucked at his skin. I could feel him hardening in the gym shorts against me. His hands moved over my body, tracing the curves.

He pulled away from me quickly and an involuntary whine escaped my throat at the loss of contact.  He looked down at me with sympathy in his eyes.  It was like he felt sorry for me. That was not what I expected. I wanted to see the desire for me in his eyes.  I wanted the fire between us to overtake every feeling I had, shredding me apart from the inside.

"Riley, we have to stop. You're upset and not thinking clearly and I don't want you to regret this later. You're not ready for this. It's not the right time." Ezra was trying to be the voice of reason and I didn't want to listen to logic tonight. I needed him more than I had ever needed anything else in my life.

I reached down and ran my hand across the front of his shorts. He stared down at me with wide eyes as I moved my hand to wrap it over him and squeezed.

"I'm tired of everyone telling me what is good for me." I began to move my hand over him faster and felt him growing with every movement.

"I don't want to hurt you again." He groaned, pushing my hands away from him. "We need to take this slow, baby."

"Ezra, I want you. Quit trying to talk me out of it." I tried to pull him against me again and he placed his hands on my shoulders to gently hold me back.

"I can't let you do this to yourself."  He said, stepping away from me.

Tears welled up in my eyes.  Ezra turned me down. He didn't want to be with me. 

"I'm going to bed." I said coldly. 

"Please don't be mad at me." He begged, reaching out to try to push a stray lock of hair off my face. I jumped back from him; Ezra touching me would make this worse.

I stepped around him without another word and went to my room to be alone. I shut the door behind me and went to my dresser to pull out some pajamas.  I quickly changed into my shorts and a t-shirt before climbing into my bed to cry myself to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating with an empty space in my bed where I wished Ezra was. The nightmares had overtaken me again.  I needed a glass of water to swallow down the stomach acid, trying to come up from the stress.  My shoulders were heavy with the weight pressing in around me. 

I opened the door and went to the dark kitchen and grabbed a glass to fill it up with water from the tap.  The only light in the apartment was coming from the TV in the living room.  I didn't want to look back to see who was in there.  I couldn't face anyone right now. I brought the glass to my lips and took a shaky sip. I laid it back down on the counter and the sound echoed eerily through the dark.  I leaned down over the counter and pushed my hair back off my face.

I felt the warm pressure of Ezra's long hard arms wrap around my waist.  He pulled me into him and surrounded me.  I placed my hands on his, leaning back into him. I let him touch me even though it hurt.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you upset." He said softly.

"No, you are right.  I wasn't thinking." I said, accepting the fact that he was trying to protect me from myself.

"I'm trying to do the right thing for you. I want you to know that." He put his lips to the top of my head and kissed me.

"I know."  I said, sniffling trying to hold back the flood of emotions I was feeling.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I've been going crazy all night.  I've had to stop myself from going into your room a million times."  He confessed.

"Ezra." I said, taking a deep breath. "Can't we just be us again?"

"I'm not sure if it is a good idea."  He said, running his hands over my arms. "Being us is what got us here in the first place."

I turned around to face him and looked into his eyes. My eyes traveled down to his stomach and I pulled the bottom hem of his shirt up to run my fingertips over the music notes just above his waistband.  He looked down and watched my fingers trace over his skin.  I looked back up to his eyes.  They were lined with the same flames I felt deep inside of me. I wanted to be with him again.

"You have to stop, Riley." He took a deep breath when I traced the lines on the side of his hip. "We can't do this."

"Stop what?" I asked innocently.

"Fuck me." He cursed at himself as his body trembled the lower my hand went. Ezra's willpower was caving the longer my fingertips brushed against him; he was tired of fighting me. He was going to give in.           

"That's what I am trying to do. Come to bed with me."  I whispered breathlessly.  

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He was hopeful but nervous.

I shook my head and bit my lip. I was just as nervous about being with him again as he was about me changing my mind.

He moved his lips back to mine and gently backed me up against the counter. He lifted me up and pressed himself into me moving his hips slowly. My body ignited as he rubbed harder against me. His mouth greedily traced my jawline until he found the spot underneath my ear that had me moaning his name.  I tangled my fingers through his hair and pulled him in further. 

He moved away from the counter and carried me to my room. His lips never left my skin. He sat me down on the bed gently and climbed on top of me, pushing me back towards the headboard. He lifted up long enough to remove his shirt and my hungry hands glided over his torso and down to his pants. There was no time; we both had waited long enough to be together again.

I dipped my fingers inside his waistband and wrapped my hand around him. He looked down and watched me glide my hand up and down inside his shorts, stopping just long enough at the tip to touch the ring and run my fingers over his head. His smooth, hard skin made my insides burn.

I looked into his eyes and licked my lips. He leaned in and nipped at my mouth. I trembled under the pleasure. I was going to explode just from kissing him again. I continued to stroke him inside his shorts and he moaned my name over and over again.

I moved my hands away from him long enough to remove my top. He was as desperate for me as I was for him. He pushed me back so he could pull off my shorts and I helped him slide them off as fast as I could.

"Fuck. You are so beautiful." He whispered, staring between my legs. I spread my legs to show him what he wanted. I was desperate for him. I wanted to do so much to him tonight, but I had to have him inside me now.

He removed his own pants, exposing how ready he was for me. He climbed back on top of me and rubbed his ring against my skin. He was torturing me with every movement sliding up and down slowly.

"I need you." I whined. "Please."

His mouth pulled up at the corner as he continued to spin slow circles around my clit with his ring. He was going to drive me insane if he kept it up. My body was vibrating, waiting for him. He kept slowly moving against me and would move a little faster until I was cursing his name. I pulled my hair in frustration when he would stop just as he brought me to the edge and then would let me squirm, waiting for him to take me over.

I leaned forward and pushed him back when I had enough of him torturing me. I reached down and took him in my hand. I climbed on top of him. He was going to be inside me now. He leaned up and kissed me as I began to position myself to take him.

"That's my good girl." He panted into my mouth as I moved my hand over him.

I guided him to where I wanted him and pushed his tip in. My head rolled back, as he pulled my hips down to slide himself slowly into me. I sucked in a sharp breath the deeper he went. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled the back of his hair as I began to move on top of him.

"Fuck, you are so wet for me." He moaned.

I opened my hips as far as I could to take every inch of him in. He filled me completely. He slowly rocked his hips, pulling himself in and out of me as I spun in circles on top of him. His ring was gliding inside me, hitting just the right spot. He remembered exactly how to drive me wild.         

He remained slow and gentle, savoring every second inside of me. I leaned down and kissed him. His eyes met mine and lingered as he continued to move inside of me. I moved my hand to his face and he turned his head to bite the pad of my thumb.

"Ezra, you feel so good." I panted.

"You are such a dirty girl when you fuck me." Ezra growled.

"I need it so bad." I cried out.

"Tell me who you belong to." He squeezed my nipples between his fingers and pulled.

"You. I belong to you."  I moaned, moving faster.

"Good girl." He licked his lips, watching me slide my body up and down on top of him. I was so close and my body began to lose control. "You want me to make you come, baby?

"Yes, oh, god, yes." I moaned.

Ezra squeezed the top of my thighs and flipped me to my back in one quick movement. He managed to keep himself inside of me and began slamming into me over and over again.

"Ezra!" I screamed out.

He wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled. I loved it when he pulled my hair to bury himself in me. I moaned his name and he continued to pound every inch into me. Pushing in and rocking out of me until my eyes rolled back into my head. I worshipped every sound he made when he moved. My body was tightening around him and I knew both of us weren't going to last much longer.

I opened my eyes and pulled his hair to make him look at me like he had done to me so many times before. He was going to watch me lose myself to him. He was going to watch what only his body could do to mine.

"I love you." He whispered breathlessly.

His body tightened and he slammed into me. My body shivered and all my nerve endings came alive at once. He tensed, ready to finish.  He looked down with a worried expression.

"Shit." He groaned, shaking his head and slowed down to stop. 

"What's wrong?" I asked, suddenly concerned I did something wrong.

"No condom.  Fuck, I wanted to come inside you."  He complained. Ezra pulled himself out of me, frowning.

I looked down, confused for a few seconds and it had finally dawned on me what he was worried about.  In our haste to be together, we screwed up again.

"Ezra." I said, looking down at the frustrated dark-haired boy.

"I should go." He said, beating himself up for what just happened.

"No, don't go.  Let me help."  I grabbed him and started making him move towards the headboard.

"What are you doing?' He asked suspiciously, holding himself in place, resisting me.

"Stop fighting me and get your ass up here so you can come in my mouth." I raised my eyebrow at him. "You know you want to."          

"Fuck.  You are amazing."  He said, climbing over me. He held my chin and lowered my jaw.  He wrapped his hand around himself and placed his tip in my mouth.  He slowly started moving himself in and out. I could taste myself all over him, but I didn't care.  He deserved this for what he just did to my body. He wasn't going to last long like this and I was eager to feel him let go.

"I'm coming." He moaned and I could taste the warm salty liquid as he released himself into my mouth. I swallowed every drop of him down as he caressed my cheek with his hand.

Ezra collapsed on top of me when he was done. We were both panting and were out of breath. He brought his hand up along the side of my naked thigh and I shivered against him.

"I missed you." He smiled and kissed my sore, used  mouth.

"I missed you too." I said, moving my hands through his hair.

He laid his head back down on me and we both fell asleep tangled in each other.

I had no nightmares for the first time in months.