I sped the whole way home, running a couple of stoplights on the way. I needed to be there for Ezra. My Mom didn't know how much her conversation had helped me figure out what I wanted from him.

I loved Ezra.

I had always been in love with Ezra—and I would always be in love with Ezra Miller.

It was never a choice for me.

I could find a way to get him clean and we could make each other better. Ezra was a part of me now and I wouldn't let go of him.

I ran up the stairs of the apartment, taking them two at a time. I dropped my keys and swore as I bent down to pick them up. When I stood up, Brynn had already opened the door for me. She had a frown on her face.

"He's in the bathroom. He's been throwing up for the last two hours. I'm not sure what to do, Riley. This is too much." My best friend looked scared.

I ran past her and into the bathroom. Ezra was hunched over the toilet, violently heaving. Nothing was coming out except stomach acid. Beads of sweat dripped down his neck, leaving a wet spot on the back of his shirt. His body was shaking so hard it looked like he was about to fall back and convulse on the floor.

"It fucking hurts. Please make it stop." Ezra screamed, doubled over in pain.

I was on the ground before I even knew what I was doing. I sat behind him and pulled him back into me, trying to hold him as tightly as I could. He leaned into me and grabbed my arms like he was fighting some invisible force trying to pull me away from him. He couldn't find a way to pull me close enough. He buried his screams into my skin.

"I'm here, Ezra. You're going to get through this." I was dying inside, watching him suffer. Tears were pouring down my face as I tried to soothe him, wanting to take it all away from him.

"I need to go. I need just a little to take the edge off. I need something to take the pain away. It hurts so bad." He pleaded. He began to push himself up from the ground to escape.

"You don't need it. You have to fight it." I said as I locked my legs around his trying to hold him down on the floor.

If he was leaving, he would have no other choice but to pick me up and take me with him.  There was no way in hell I was going to let him walk out that door without me.

"I can't fucking do this. I want to die." He slammed his fists into the ground, trying to hurt himself.

"I need you to keep fighting. Fight for me, Ezra. Stay with me." I pulled him back into me and pushed him down to lay his head in my lap. I kissed the top of his head and held on tighter, trying to give him every ounce of strength I had in me. We were going to get through this. We were going to beat it.

We sat there on the cold hard tile floor for hours. Every inch of me was wrapped around him, trying to protect him. I prayed to find a way to take his pain away from him. He closed his eyes after the shaking subsided and was softly snoring finally finding a little bit of peace. I gently stroked his hair back from his face. He looked so calm and at ease when my hands were on him.

I started to doze off, wrapped up in him. I woke up when I heard a knock on the door. Ezra was still tangled up in me and I wouldn't be able to get up to see who it was. Maybe Brynn had called someone over to have some company tonight. I heard her going to the door to open it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Brynn said in a hard tone.

"Riley left her bag at her Mom's house." I heard the familiar voice and my stomach dropped. "Where is she? I know she's here. I saw her car out there. She said she had a migraine. Is she doing ok?"

"She's in the bathroom." I could hear something in Brynn's tone shift. I wasn't exactly sure what it was. It sounded like it was tainted with acid.

"Riley, you have a visitor." She called in a sing-song voice.

Damnit, Brynn.

What was she playing at? She knew I was in here with Ezra.

I shook Ezra and he looked up groggily. I moved my finger to my lips to tell him to stay quiet and pointed to the door. He untangled himself from me and I stood up to go talk to Aiden in the living room.

I left the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

"Hey." I said to Aiden as calmly as I could. "What are you doing here?"

"You left your bag and I wanted to check and make sure you got home safely since you didn't text me back. I was worried about you." He looked at me, concerned. I looked down and realized my clothes were disheveled, soaked in a mixture of Ezra's sweat and tears. I looked like a hot mess.

"You two had dinner together?" Brynn said in an accusatory tone.

"My Mom invited him over for dinner tonight to talk about the wedding with JD and Anna." I said defensively back to Brynn. I didn't want her to think we went on a secret date.

"Is there something going on between you two?" Brynn asked.

"No." I said back as Aiden said, "Yes."

Brynn was looking back and forth, her eyes were wild and she looked slightly unhinged. Aiden puffed his chest out and I shrunk down, ashamed. He was ready to admit everything to her. I needed to clear this up with her now before it ended our friendship.

"Brynn, it's not like that." I said, trying to calm the situation. "We did kiss, but that was it."

"Four times." Aiden said. "Oh, and she stayed at my place the other night."

Shut up, Aiden. He was not helping.

"I don't believe this, Riley. You are here shacking up with Ezra and messing around behind my back with my ex? Who is the slut now?" She pulled at her hair. Her face was furious. There were no tears, but Brynn wasn't going to let us see her cry over this. I had hurt my friend more than I ever thought I could.

"Ezra?" Aiden snapped his head back, looking into my eyes. "You didn't tell me he contacted you again."

"I...I..." I stammered and heard the bathroom door open. I closed my eyes, waiting for the catastrophe that was about to unfold. There was no doubt in my mind Ezra had heard everything.

He moved out the door and leaned against the wall. Ezra's face was hard and he was trying to hide the hurt he was feeling knowing Aiden and I had kissed. He puffed up, looking harder and stronger since I left him on the bathroom floor seconds ago. It was all an act. Hearing about Aiden and me together played into his darkest paranoid thoughts.

"Seriously?" Aiden screamed at me, pointing at Ezra. He couldn't even believe what he was seeing. He grabbed my arm tightly and squeezed. I winced from the pressure; it hurt a little. I had never seen Aiden like this before. He was so angry with me.

"Aiden, you should take your hands off her." Ezra said in a dangerously low tone. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed.

"Stay out of this asshole. This is between Riley and me." Aiden spat back at him.

"I disagree." Brynn jumped in. This was an absolute train wreck.

I was in the middle of this and I couldn't even move or attempt to speak. Everyone in the room was looking at me like the traitorous villain I was. I had made my bed and now I had to lie in it. This mess was all my fault this time. I had no one else I could blame except myself.

"Brynn, I am so sorry. I..." I blurted out.

I pulled my arm away from Aiden to try to go comfort her. I wanted to hug her and tell her she meant the world to me and that I was just really confused.

"Don't. I just can't with you right now. You were supposed to be my best friend. I have done everything I could to help you when you needed me and this is how you repay me? Friends don't do what you just did to me. We are not friends." She looked at me and raised her hand to keep me from hugging her. She grabbed her keys and walked out the door, leaving me alone between Aiden and Ezra.

Aiden was staring at me with sadness and hatred. I already felt like a terrible person and he was still looking at me like he didn't understand.

"Riley, you can't be this stupid. Do you remember what he did to you?" Aiden pulled at me, trying to bring me into his chest to wrap himself around me. He was pleading for me to come back to reality.

"Back off. I think she has had enough." Ezra said, moving slowly towards us. I could see him trying to restrain himself. He wanted to pounce, but he knew it was not what I wanted him to do. I didn't want him to hurt Aiden. I had already hurt him enough for a lifetime.

"Riley can talk for herself. She owes me an explanation." Aiden said, looking down at me.

"I... I never meant to hurt you." I said softly.

"Are you sleeping with him again?" Aiden was spitting his venom at me.

"Back off, Aiden." Ezra warned, inching closer. His fists were clenched at his side and his hands were shaking.

"He left you after killing your baby. I can't believe you would let him stick his dick in you again. You really are fucked up." Aiden screamed at me.

I reached back and slapped him as hard as I could across his face. A red mark was already forming on his cheek. He rubbed his cheek in shock and moved his jaw, trying to relieve the sting. He stared at me and shook his head back and forth in disbelief.

"Aiden, you've made your point. I think it's time for you to leave." Ezra said. He hadn't moved any closer to us. He was keeping his temper under control, even with me losing mine. I was angry at Aiden for bringing the baby into this conversation. He knew how much losing the baby hurt me and he still used it as a weapon against me.

"He has never deserved you, Riley, even if you don't know it. You're so much better than this—than him." Aiden said softly, looking into my eyes. He ran his hands over my cheek and walked out the door. He slammed the door behind him.