Fletcher-5 years and 7 months
Oliver-2 years and 6 months

Some of the paragraphs may be the same as the last chapter but whatever

This is pretty long,the longest chapter so far

*nonedited

Enjoy :) [February 2020]

"Matthew,no,I'm not letting you fly all the way from New York to England just for my benefit."Louis refused to let anyone help him out,since the 7 months of His and Liam's breakup he had been living on shoe strings and the money that he had hidden all around the house for a rainy day.These 7 months were a clean example of a fucking thunderstorm never mind a rainy day,nothing had been going correctly for Louis since Kicking Liam out of his life,he had stopped eating the meals that he once was and he hadn't slept correctly in 7 months due to the constant financial worries and the worry of Fletcher and Oliver's safety.He was refusing the take any money from anyone,he didn't need anyone's help,and in reality he was just being a stubborn shit.

It had been 7 months since that day that Louis had spotted the photo of Liam and Ruby while innocently browsing the Internet,it had been 7 months since Liam had said regretful and hateful things towards Louis outside of their childhood home at midnight and it had been 7 months since Louis has talked do Liam because honestly,if he did he would punch him.He had gotten over his sadness (and actually,that was a lie because he still cried most nights),he was angry most of the time at Liam and himself since he happened to blame himself on everything bad happening.Liams words were that Louis was suffocating him and making him feel trapped so Louis was keeping his distance by not speaking to him whatsoever and instead keeping a blind eye as he continued to make sure that Fletcher and Oliver's health and well-being came first.It was Louis' main priority to make sure that his two little boys were healthy and energetic,always getting what they wanted without seeming spoilt.Louis didn't care if he didn't eat dinner some nights,as song as Fletcher and Olli was was all he cares about.

Keeping Liam away from the children turned out to be a hard task and it only took a week before Louis caved in and let Liam see Blue and Pooka after Fletcher spent some time with Axel and Oliver with Bonnie.He knew himself that he couldn't keep his two little babies away from their Daddy,they had did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to be away from their Daddy just because their Daddy was a prick that preferred his Career over Family and liked to let random chicks ride his dick now and again.Louis would drop Oliver over at Luke and Ashton's and let Liam pick up Fletcher from school and then Liam would pick Oliver up.Even at that,It was Luke that came to the door with a (normally) giggling Oliver in his arms since Ashton refused to talk to Liam or to let the monster into his home.Ashton remembers clearly of the time that he told Louis that Liam was going to brisk his heart,that Liam was never going to change and was going to forever stay the way that he was,and Ashton was finding it so very hard not to flaunt in Louis' face and shout 'Told you so!'.

Louis was struggling enough without Liam by his side

"But I want to.You're one of my best friends and if my best friend is struggling I have the right to help you out."Louis was currently chopping up carrots in the kitchen,His IPad (Which Liam had bought him) resting up against the wall on the counter.Louis was using FaceTime to communicate with Matthew who was in work back in New York.Fletcher and Oliver we're currently in the livingroom,Louis putting on The Lion King to keep them both entertained as he prepared their dinner.It was simple really,only chicken Breast with carrots and mash potatoes so it wouldn't take long for Louis to make the meal,bathe both the boys and then out them to bed.

"But I'm fine!I don't need your help or anybody's help,and yes I know that you mean well and you're just looking out for me but I don't need someone to give me money."He sighed as he looked up to look at Matthew through the webcam,pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.He could feel himself tear up a little,he felt like complete and utter shit,so much that he just wanted to cry in a corner from all of the stress that has been running through him over the last months.

"Louis,you aren't fine,I can see right now that you've dropped 3 dress sizes in only 7 months.You haven't slept and you look exhausted! Don't tell me that you're fine when you look like utter crap right now-"Matthew started rambling as he moved around his office,dressed in a white bottom up and black formal trousers.It was currently 2 in the afternoon over in New York so he had 3 more hours until he could go home to his fiancée.He had finished most of his work so he was taking a break to talk to Louis.Trying to talk sense into Louis was proven to be more stressful than work.

"Uncle Matthew!"Fletcher gasped when he peered his head into the kitchen for a drink only to hear his Uncle Matthews voice,he instantly knew that his Papa was on FaceTime with him.Fletcher was handling his Daddy's leaving very well,he still got to see him three days of the week which was good enough for him,he preferred being in the comfort of his home better though,his Daddies new apartment wasn't as fun and didn't have as many toys than he had in his house.He knew that his Papa was having a rough time coping,he could hear him cry at night time a lot and it was heartbreaking for the 5 year old.It made him grow some hate towards his Daddy since he was making his Papa upset and cry.

"Hi Fletcher baby,"Louis cooed setting down the knife he was chopping with and lifting the iPad,giving Matthew a small smirk before handing the iPad to Fletcher."Say hi to Uncle Matthew and go chat with him for a while?"He suggested as he kissed Fletcher on the forehead as the big smiled at his uncle through the webcam and nodded his head as he ran back into the livingroom with Matthew still on FaceTime and chatting a way to him.The older man had to admit that Louis was good at avoiding topics,he always had been even while in school he would find a way to steer conversations in another direction so they didn't have to talk about something triggering to Louis.

"Wilson!Say hi!"Fletcher sat himself down onto the sofa and sat the iPad down onto his lap,Matthew humming with a fond smile on his face as the boy held up the white and black tiger to the webcam to show him.Louis smiled as he listened in on the conversations that Fletcher was having with Matthew,Continuing to show him his toys through the camera and then talk about things unrelated to the subject.Oliver was sat on the floor still watching The Lion King,his dummy in his mouth and his blanket draped over his small legs as he watched from his lying Down position.The boy was so lazy,well that's what the physical therapist said since Oliver's walking still wasn't what it should be for a 2 and a half year old.He was able to walk small distances but gave up in the end.

He was just lazy

But he was an adorable little munchkin

And Louis loved Both Blue and Pooka with all his heart

~~~\0/~~/\~~ [Give the man and shark a little love][Warnings:Self-Harm thoughts and actions...Sorry]

Turning onto his back,Louis rested his hands on his stomach and stared up at the ceiling.The bed felt so empty when he only slept in it,he felt smaller than ever alone in the large bed and he wished that he didn't have to sleep alone.Well,he wasn't exactly sleeping it was more of a lying in bed and staring into mid air type of thing.Louis wished he was sleeping right now
because then maybe his mind wouldn't be working over time and he wouldn't be over thinking things.Maybe if he slept he wouldn't cry as much as he has been,and maybe if he slept he could get his act together and form a new and better life without the financial worries or Liam even thought or mentioned about,

Ha,no chance.

Liam and Louis could be split up for 20 years and Louis would still long for Liam's love

Threading his eyebrows together,Louis turned his head to look at his phone that just lit up on the bedside table.He has it charging while he attempted to sleep,he would occasionally browse through his phone,check on Tumblr or Facebook but then he'd put it down and try to sleep again.It was boring just staying up most of the night,sometimes he'd doze off for an hour or so and then he'd reawaken and try and find something to occupy himself with a book.He had read and re-read every book in his bedroom and study,and quite frankly he was getting bored with books.

Not questioning who the notification could be from or about,Louis reached over for the phone a small hand emerging from under the sleeve of The grey sweater that Louis was wearing (it was actually Liam's grey sweater which Louis hid so Liam didn't take when he was clearing out his stuff) to grasp at the phone.He frowned a little when he noticed who the notification was about,unlocking his phone he sat up in his bed,the duvets that were wrapped around him now pooling around him as he held the Phone in both of his hands.His breathing hitched as he stared at the screen and the words in bold at the top of the website page;

Liam Payne engaged to Girlfriend Ruby

"W-what?"Louis breathed out as he kept reading the headline title,the more he did the more he felt his heart shatter in his chest and stab at him from the inside.The tears started to pool in Louis' crystal blue eyes as he let a sob escape and shake his fragile body.It was like hearing that your idol got engaged and not to you,but this was different,Louis loved Liam and probably will always and now the man was engaged and it wasn't to him?The whole 'Management is making me do this' act was over obviously.

Louis sat on his bed crying hard into his hands

He needed release

After 5 years of staying clean

Everything was hitting him like a Tone of bricks,he was hurting on the inside but he needed to hurt on the outside to feel to balance the pain

And that's how he found himself wedged between the toilet seat and the bath,his knees to his chest as he cried harder knowing that Liam was completely and over him.To know that Liam was in love with Ruby enough to be marrying her and giving her his last name,it hurt him so much that he felt like he had already died.Louis was going through his first ever heartbreak,and he wished that someone just ripped out his heart since if someone did it would hurt less than what he was feeling right now.

He knew he shouldn't,he needed to stay clean and healthy for Fletcher and Oliver and be a good Papa to them both but if he didn't feel physical pain then things would just get worse and he will do something that he had tried to do when he was 17.

With shaky fingers and cloudy eyes,Louis brought the slim metal object up to his Wrist,hissing in pain as he let the object glide across his healed soft skin.He felt a feeling of rush go throughout his body as he watched the blood rush to the surface and slowly start to pour out of his body.He did it again,and again,and again.The only mistake was,when he started,he didn't know when to stop and at that he didn't know that he leaned to hard on the bland when digging it into his skin.

A loud sob escaped his lips as he saw the dark red blood drop down his wrist and arm,coming out thick and dark that it was scary,He had only seen his blood that bad twice in his life,once when he tried to end his life and the other when he miscarried.

Louis was scared

He needed help

But just before he could call out for it his eyes dropped close and he fell limp onto his cold bathroom flooring

HEY GUYS

HAHAH I'm really sorry please forgive me and love me

You probably hate me right now...

I'm sorry,I love you all

Be free to rant to me here<~~~

Opinions?

Questions that need answered,ask away

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Peace ✌🏼️

~Marie

[QOTC:If you like MCR,favourite song?]

[AOTC:Famous last Words and WTTBP]