Deciding
Robbie was sitting on his couch with a strong drink in his hand. A cigarette was burning in the ashtray on the table. He wasn't touching them, he was trying to absorb the news of the day.
He was disowned.
Disowned.
He couldn't believe it. His own father had cut him off. No more money, no more connections. No more anything. That sucked.
He had left that auditorium with Harry. Both were quiet on the way home. When they got to their building Robbie tried to invite him to his place.
"I need to be alone for a while," Harry had said while holding him. "I just need to figure things out." He gave Robbie a kiss before leaving. Robbie didn't argue. He had to digest this as well.
Now Robbie was sitting in his apartment thinking about the day's events. How could his father do this? He had thought that his father would be on their side, that he would accept Harry with open arms and support their relationship.
Then he thought about the money. He was planning on getting a condo on the North Side for him and Harry. He was going to treat Harry on a shopping spree and spoil him rotten, give him a taste of the good life.
Father did say that he would be disowned until he ended things with Harry.
Robbie had to think about that. He did care for Harry very much, but did he have to go broke doing it? What quality of life would he and Harry have? What about Harry's schooling? His future?
Harry did say that he wasn't giving up his education for anything or anyone. Yet he gave it up to be with him. Harry really loved him a lot to sacrifice something that meant so much.
Robbie felt a nagging guilt over that. That knowledge was going to haunt him throughout their relationship. What if Harry resented him later on?
Robbie put down his empty glass and snubbed out the cigarette. What should he do? He picked up his phone and called his dad.
"What do you want, Robbie?" Father answered sounding blunt as usual. "I don't have time for this."
"I just need to ask you something," Robbie said. "I want to know, if Harry and I broke up, will he get his job back?"
Harry was lying on his bed staring at the cracks in his ceiling. He had managed to survive his worse nightmare. The bossman was not happy at all about him and Robbie. He was so done.
Right now he didn't know how he felt, other than numb. What was he going to do now? How was he going to pay for his classes now? He was close to having his degree, he couldn't drop out now.
At least he had Robbie. Together they would figure it out. This made him feel a little better. He really loved Robbie, especially when he stood up to his father. He would have thought that Robbie would choose the rich life instead of their relationship, but he didn't let him down. That made him feel better about losing his job. Their love was definitely the real thing.
Climbing off the bed Harry decided to go over to Robbie's to take his mind off of things. He hoped Robbie was home, he really needed him. Maybe Robbie had a drink or some pot to take the edge off. He just wanted to forget about today.
When Harry tried to open Robbie's door he found it locked. He didn't feel like going back to his place for his spare key. He heard some music and voices inside. What was Robbie up to? He knocked.
It was a while before Robbie cracked open the door. Harry could see that he was shirtless.
"Oh hey," Robbie slurred. Harry could smell alcohol on his breath. "I thought you wanted to be left alone."
Harry shrugged. "I got tired of being alone. I wanted to be with you." He tried to get into Robbie's but Robbie didn't move. He actually blocked the door. "What's going on? Why aren't you letting me in?"
Robbie stared back. Harry thought he looked cold. "Listen, why don't you just go on to your job if it's so important to you."
"I don't have a job anymore," Harry replied. "Your dad fired me, remember? I lost my job because of us."
"Yeah, about that," Robbie leaned on the door frame looking casual. "I don't think this is a good idea." He wrinkled his nose when he said the words.
Harry wasn't sure he heard right. "Excuse me?"
Robbie waved his finger between him and Harry. "This little fling of ours, whatever you call it."
"What?"
"We had our little fun and all but it's not working for me anymore."
Harry was confused. "What's happening?" He noticed that Robbie's personality was different. His eyes were cold and he had an ugly smile.
"Okay, schoolboy," he spoke slowly. "Let me spell it out for you. It's O-V-E-R. Over and out."
The words were like bullets in Harry's chest. "What?"
"You heard me."
"I gave up everything to be with you," Harry managed to choke out. "I loved you."
Robbie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I appreciate that, I really do. But let me tell you something," He leaned closer and whispered. "It was just a fuck, that's it. It was great, mind blowing, but not enough to lose your job over. Come on."
Harry just stared at Robbie. Was this for real? God, he didn't need this too. "You don't mean that."
"The hell I don't."
"This isn't you. You wouldn't do this."
"You sure about that? I'm exactly what your pal Zayn said. He had a clue, I should have hooked up with him too," Robbie licked his lips. "I might still do that. He's really hot."
Robbie peeked back over his shoulders into his place. Harry noticed that Robbie was only wearing boxers. What was he doing? Did he want to know?
As if reading his mind Robbie said "I'm a little busy at the moment. I have a new playmate in here and he's hot."
"What? Why?" This was not happening.
"Look," Robbie's eyes bored into his. "I already called Daddy and explained everything. I told him it was one of my usual gags, I was just joshing around. He said you could have your job back, so your future is secure. Isn't that what you always wanted?"
"Well yeah, but--"
"Father needs you to come in early," Robbie said, looking casually at his nails. "He said you had a lot to do so please don't be late."
Harry studied Robbie. He had a slight hunch that this could be staged. Maybe Robbie was doing this to save him. He must be.
Harry put his hands roughly on Robbie's shoulders. "Tell me why you're really doing this. Is it to save my future? Is that why you're doing this? Tell me!"
"Get your mitts off of me!" Robbie snatched himself away. "Boy, I've met some thick headed people but you take the prize."
"You called your father."
"He was about to cut off my money, duh. You really don't get it, do you?"
"Get what? What are you talking about?"
Robbie laughed nastily. "You got played, dumbass. I got bored and I wanted to play with somebody so I chose you."
Harry was dumbfounded. "Why?"
"You seemed fun, so worried about my dad and your precious education," he sneered. "So I decided to have a bit of fun. I love to play, I enjoy it. So I played you, just like I did with Paul. Oh, yeah, that was a lie by the way." He took a bow. "And the award for best actor goes to--"
Harry pushed him, causing Robbie to stumble against the door. Robbie just laughed.
"Whoa, what fire. I like fire. I'd love to chat some more bit I got somebody in here," He winked. "Can't keep him waiting, if you know what I mean."
Harry stared at Robbie for a good while.
Robbie stared back boldly.
Then Harry turned, stumbled back into his apartment and slammed the door.
Robbie went back into his own place and slowly shut his door. Then holding his hand tightly over his mouth he slid to the floor. He could feel his tears pouring out, sliding down his cheeks and falling onto his bare chest. He tried hard to hold back the cries. I didn't mean it, he wanted to say.
He would never forget the searing pain in Harry's eyes. It matched the one in his heart. But it had to be done.
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