oh no, I lied, here's art

Probably how I look like right now. Now that I'm wearing lenses at least.

Anyhow, everyone that isn't up for a super emotionless vent/rant can leave now because I feel pretty... pissed right now?

like, I'm angry and sad, and I feel like eating 6 table spoons of salt would solve all my problems right now (okay, it's way more than I'd need but... just to be sure...)

Ha, I bet no one even knows what I mean with that.

I also don't feel like doing anything anymore.

I told my parents that I couldn't bother to give a fuck about what they think of me because frankly, they don't care about me so why would their opinion matter to me at all?

Ah, it doesn't matter anyway. How I feel, what I feel, if I feel anything at all, it doesn't really matter because no one would bother to do something about it at all, including me.

Now don't get me wrong. There are people who'd like me to get better (presumably) you guys included. But the fact that I don't give a fuck seems to be the main problem.
Whether I'm doing good or bad, whether I'm crying or laughing... it doesn't really matter o me because neither of these feelings seem to last longer than a day, and then I'm caged in this eternal "I really don't care" mood again.

Eh, do I sound sad? I probably don't. and if I had to decide, I'd rather not sound sad because it makes others sad and so on and so forth.

At this point, I will start to ramble on about things and in the end, either delete half of it or never even post this chapter... we'll see.

did you know that 0.5-1 gramm salt per kilogramm body mass can kill?
(greetings to my biology teacher who taught me that)
I'm not joking. it's true.

Furthermore, one of the best deaths in my opinion is getting beheaded or getting one's neck broken. both is quick and pretty much painless...

Things like burning alive or getting drowned are one of the worst things I can imagine. I mean, one actually witnesses their death. Must be awful.

Hypothermia on the other hand sounds a lot better than that. I mean, it takes forever but apparently, after a short time (especially if you're wet) you barely even notice it anymore (if it's cold enough) and you even get the feeling of warmness after some time...

Another thing I'd hate is getting suffocated by Carbon monoxide. I mean, the feeling of your organs slowly dying because of the loss of blood supply must be horrific...

Why am I talking about this?

I should stop...

Can somone please...