Arm's P.O.V

After working I go to the hospital to see Pol. All day, the only thing in my mind is Pol. I really wanted to see him and I couldn't wait for working hours to end. When I reached Pol's room I saw him sleeping. I slowly come closer to check on him then took a sit besides the bed.

I feel a little sleepy then decided to lay my head on the bed. After a moment I felt my head was massaged by someone. I lift my head and see Pol already awake. He was smiling to me.

"Did I awake you?", I asked.

He shook his head. "Why are you here? You should go home after working."

"It's okay. I want to see you.", I said.

Pol slowly patted my head. "You don't have to come to see me often. You must be tired from working. Have to rest, na. Take care of your health. I don't want you to fall sick."

"I'm fine."

Pol didn't argue more. After that, Pol's parents came in.

"Arm. You should've just have a rest at home. You don't have to come. Wee will look after Pol.", Pol's dad said.

"It's okay. I'm fine."

Pol's parents just look at each other. I know they are worried about me but I just couldn't stop thinking about Pol. If I didn't see Pol I couldn't put my mind in peace. I just want to spend my time with him. After a moment the doctor that treat Pol came in and asked his parents to have a talk outside but Pol stopped them.

"Just talk here. I want to hear it too."

The doctor couldn't refuse. No matter how, he have to say it Infront of Pol.

"I hope all of you can be patient. We really couldn't treat Mr.Yosatorn anymore.", The doctor said.

I frowned. "What do you mean, doctor?"

"His illness become worst everyday. If he fall sick again like last time, we really couldn't do anything anymore. The brain cancer he have already spread through his head. I'm afraid that one day he will not remember anyone anymore."

I feel like my heart stop beating for a while. I looked at Pol who didn't talk anything while bowing his head. It makes me more sad when I saw his reaction to what the doctor said. Pol's mom already crying.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Yosatorn can be discharge tomorrow.", The doctor said then left the room.

I looked at Pol who was also speechless.  It's just a joke, right? Unfortunately, it's not.

The next day, Pol already discharged from the hospital but I can't see him because I was working. After working I went home for a while then go to his parents mansion. When I arrived I see him staying in his bed at his bedroom. After taking a seat next to the bed, I keep praying that Pol will get better. Suddenly Pol called my name.

"Love, that's enough. I know God knows what you're asking for. Come here. Closer to me.", He said. I come close to his bed.

I didn't said anything and just stay by his side. Pol gently caressed my cheek. My heart aches looking at his pale face. I feel something warm slowly falls on my cheeks.

"Don't cry, my love. How will I die in peace if you're sad like this?", He said. I quickly wiped my tears away.

"Can you please don't say that? I know you will get better.", I said. Pol just shook his head.

"No, my love."

I couldn't say anything anymore. I tried my best not to let my tears fall again.

Suddenly Pol got a call from Pete. The guy came with a bouquet of roses. Pol actually asked for Pete's help to buy the flowers, but the roses not red like how Pol used to give me instead the they are white this time.

"This is for you. I will not able to give you flowers again after this. Take care of yourself, okay."

"Don't say that. Your promised me that you will never leave me again.", I said with my voice trembling.

"Listen, my love. I will die anytime soon. If only I know earlier about my illness, I won't get closer to you. I will not appear in your life."

"Pol!"

He immediately shook his head, try to stop me from talking.

"And when I'm not here anymore, I hope you are always happy. I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone later. what I want is for you to find a good man. even better than me."

I shook my head. He put his hand on my face. I want you. Don't you understand that?

"Big. I want you to stay with him. I know he is a good man. please stay with him. I know he can make you happy."

When Pol mentioned Big, I don't know why I suddenly feel a little bit of guilty. Is it because, he still willing to stay by my side even after I left him for Pol?

"Have you eaten?", Pol change the subject. I know he doesn't want me to feel more pressure with the fact that he's dying.

I shook my head. I don't want him to worry about me, so I have to pretend like I'm okay.

I saw him frowned. "Why haven't you eat? I'll ask the maid to prepare the food for you."

I stopped him. "No need. You have to rest. I'll go help myself."

I heard Pol let out a sigh before I leave his room. When I reached downstairs, I really couldn't hold it anymore. I cried my lungs out. Pol's mom saw me and just look at each other. She slowly come closer with her tears start falling too. She cupped my face and caressing my head tried to calm me down.

"I can't hold it anymore. It's hurt.", I said.

"I know.", She then hugs me. Her hands never stop patting my back.

I didn't eat alot since I don't have any appetite to eat. When I am done eating, I went back to Pol's room. He still haven't sleep yet.

"You must've been tired from working all day today right?", He smiled. "Come. Let's sleep."

I walked over to the bed and laid down next to him. He gently pulled me into his arms. I felt him planting a kiss my forehead. Please. If this is just a dream let me continue to sleep. Please don't wake me up from this dream. I don't want him to disappear. I want to stay like this forever.

"Don't leave, na.", I said.

"Sleep now."

"Promise me first.".

"Okay. I promise, but you have to sleep now okay?"

I nodded. I tightened my arms around him. after a while i fell asleep. I woke up the next day. I raised my head to see him still hugging me. the clock is already showing almost 8 am.

I moved his hand from my body. when I called his name to wake him up, there was no response. I frowned. my hands started to move his body but he was still unconscious. I started to panic. I called his name repeatedly. My scream echoed throughout the bedroom, mixed with my own crying.

Pol's parents also suddenly entered the room and checked Pol's condition. Pol's mother has also been crying since earlier.

"He's gone, Arm. He's gone. My son is gone."

My eyes widen when I heard what his mom said. I shook my head, try to deny the fact that Pol is died.

"No. No! Pol. Wake up!"

Pol's mom hugs me. His father is also holding my shoulders. I am totally a mess right now.

"He's gone, Arm."

"No! He promised me that he will stay. No.. no."

I stop moving aggressively. Slowly moving closer to him and hug him. My cry become harder. I literally can feel that my world suddenly turned dark. Spinning and crushing down. It's like my heart suddenly stop beating too.

I know I have to accept that you are dead. I should have aware that, you can die anytime. But it is too hard for me to accept it. It's hurt. You're no longer in this world, Pol.

How should I accept the reality that you are literally gone, forever?

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It's been a busy week, but I try to make an update. I hope you guys like this chapter and pardon my grammatical errors. Please leave your comments. I would love to read them. Thank you! Rak thuk khon mak mak na. Jub jub!