After working Big took me to dinner before send me back home. We were just arrived when I saw Pete came in the same stall we are sitting.

"Pete!", I called him. Pete smiled and raise his hand waving at me. He come to our table. I thought he is alone but someone's with him.

"Arm. Long time no see."

"Yeah. You come to eat too?"

"Yes."

"Come sit with us. We're about to order too."

Pete agreed. They sit with us. I then introduced Big to him.

"This is Big. My boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Pete. This is my boyfriend, Vegas."

I smiled teasingly to him. "I didn't know..."

Pete rub his neck. Shy.

After eating, Pete and Vegas excuses themselves. They said they are going to another place to buy some things. After bidding goodbye Big and I also went home.

In the car, all the way home, what in my mind is did Pete know anything about Pol lately? He never asked anything about Pol to me. I really want to know what's wrong with Pol. Why did he lied to me? When I reached home I decided to give Pete a call.

"Pete, can we meet? I need to talk something to you."

"Sure."

"But, can you pick me up at my place?"

"Alright. I'll be there in few minutes."

After Pete pick me up, we decided to a cafe.

"Pete. Do know anything about Pol? Like, where is he."

"I'm sorry Pete. I really don't know."

I sighed. Pete patted my arm. "Just forget about him, Arm. You're with Big now. I think he's okay. Just continue your relationship with him."

When I heard Big's name it makes me even sad and guilty. It's not that I don't love him, but I just wanted to know about Pol. What's the reason behind all of this mess.

"It's not like I want to get back with him Pete. I know he doesn't love me anymore but he doesn't need to lie to me that he will get married to someone else. It's hurt."

I couldn't hold my tears any longer. Fortunately, Pete want to hear me. He tried to calm me down. After talking with Pete and tell him what had happened all this time, I decided to go home and asked him to give me a lift.

When I arrived at my place my phone suddenly rang. It's from Big.

"Hello."

"Tee rak. Did you get anything about Pol? I saw you went to see Pete earlier."

"You know?"

"Yes. I saw you get in his car when I came back to give you the things you bought and left it in my car."

I bit my lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't tell you."

"It's okay. How about if I give you time to find Pol. Take as much time you need. I will not bother you until you meet him, Okay?"

After that Big ended the call. I couldn't say anything all I can do is crying. I feel stupid. It's not that I want to get back with him. I just want to know what happened to him.

It's been days and Big never call or message me. I waited for him to contact me but he didn't respond. I didn't contacted him either. It's been a week, he never contacted me. He never come to see me at the book store too. Is he really angry with me?

On my off day, I got so bored. Usually Big will take me out for a date or he will come by to my place. My Facebook notification just shows that tomorrow it's Big's birthday. I think about what to give Big as his birthday gift but I couldn't think one. I decided to message him first and think about his gift later. I was thinking of how to give him the gift later.

'Happy Birthday!'

I bought him a gift but I really didn't know how to give it to him. I once asked Tay if he ever see Big at the university but he said he haven't met him yet. I couldn't wait anymore. I call him but he didn't pick up. I texted him but he didn't replied. Why he didn't respond?

After 20 minutes, Big called back. I immediately pick up the call. I thought it was Big who called me but it's his mom.

"Hello, Arm. This is mae."

"Oh, mae. Where's Big?"

"Big is in the hospital right now."

"What? Why?"

"He got sick."

"Since when?"

"Yesterday."

I was so shocked. After we talked I immediately rushed to the hospital. When I arrived, I saw him laying on the bed with his eyes close, sleeping. My tears dropped. Only God know how I feel that time.

"What did the doctor said?", I asked Big's mom.

"He didn't get enough rest and too much thinking. After some rest, he will be fine.", She said. After a while she left to find something to eat. I asked her to take her time and will look after him.

I sat next to his bed. I slowly hold his hand and caressing it. After a few moment, Big slowly moved his body and opened his eyes. I didn't said anything and just looking at him. When he see me, he immediately smiled.

"Did I make you worried, tee rak?"

I suddenly cried. I don't know why. Is it because I miss him? Is it because I'm worried? Or maybe because I feel guilty?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

It's my fault. Big get sick because of me.

"Don't cry tee rak. It's not your fault.", Big wiped my tears away.

I couldn't say anything anymore. It's like all the words and my voices stuck in my throat. I just shook my head. My tears still flowing down to my cheeks. Big keep saying to me that it's not my fault but I am feel guilty about it because it's totally because of me.

I didn't want the same thing happened again. I decided to stop thinking about Pol. I really promise myself. For five months, I have stop thinking about Pol. I never looking for him again. I don't want to hurt Big even more.

There's one time where Tay and I were at the mall buying clothes, I was suddenly approached by someone.

"Arm? It's really you!"

I was shocked. It's Pol's mom. She immediately hugs me and she was almost crying.

"How are you?", She asked me. I looked at her. I almost couldn't believe my eyes that the person Infront of me is Pol's mother.

"I'm good. How about you?", I asked. Tay didn't said anything. He just standing besides me while looking at us.

"Mae is good too. It's been along time since we met. I miss you so much na.", She said while holding tight my hands.

I smiled at her. Suddenly I remember about Pol. I was hesitate to asked because I promise myself not to think about him anymore. But, I just want to know how is he doing. It's okay right?

"Mae. How is Pol doing?", I asked. My eyes glance at Tay.

Suddenly Pol's mom face turned gloomy. I frowned when she didn't answered me. I hold her hands.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?"

She gave me a smile. But a hurtful one.

"He's fine. Don't worry about him."

I can sense something is not right. She didn't even asked anything about my relationship with Pol. It's like she already knows everything.

"Mae krub. Please tell Arm the truth na. Pol had been lying to me for a year now and mae want to lie to me too?", I asked. My voice is trembling. I don't know why I suddenly get too emotional.

"I don't want to lie to you na. I love you so much but I really can't tell you what happened. I couldn't tell you."

"I beg you, mae. It hurts me everytime I think about Pol. At least, I know the reason why he did this to me."

"Mae is sorry."

I slowly nodded. I know how hard I try, I wouldn't get the answer. Tay slowly pat my shoulder.

"I have to go now, Arm. I'm sorry once again na. I'm really sorry."

I just watch her go. Why? What happened?

"It's the only chance for me to know what's wrong with Pol. But, I failed."

Tay patted my shoulder. "Don't blame yourself too much, Arm. Remember. If Big know that you started to act like this again he will be so worried."

I know. But, what happened to you Pol? Why is everyone acting weird?