Fen

I was on a date with my soul mate.

Just thinking about it had me squirming in my seat with excitement. Sure, he hadn't done much other than stare blankly at his menu so far, but he was here. And I had promised myself I could tell him about our bond just as soon as we got through one conversation without him looking annoyed with me. Surely, that would happen tonight. I had already made him laugh, and I knew how rare that was. And he wouldn't have come if he didn't want to be here with me. Zale wasn't the kind of guy who did anything he didn't want to do.

"Have you decided what you want?" I asked to get him talking. Besides, maybe he could help me figure out what to order.

He glanced up at me for a moment and his eyes glimmered prettily in the low light of the restaurant even though he was kind of glaring. "Yeah." Then, after a pause and almost like he had to drag the words from himself, Zale asked, "Have you been here before?"

"Nope! I've never actually had seafood before. I'm excited to try it."

It was only because I had spent so much time observing him that I saw the little spark of amusement buried in the depths of his gaze. "It's not for everyone. I hope you like it."

Which seemed like a really nice sentiment until he added, "I'm not going to another place if you don't like this one."

Why was he so snappish? It was like Zale couldn't help sticking barbs into everything he said. I swallowed and imagined I was gulping down the hurt. I used to know people like him when I was younger. After my best friend went to Earth without me – and without even telling me he was going, in an uncharacteristically thoughtless move that had been utterly shocking – I had a really hard time connecting to my classmates. That was, until I learned how to be pliable. How to become what the people around me wanted, and bend myself to their expectations. It was easy once you had the knack for it.

The most important thing was to figure out what the person wanted out of their interactions. Usually, that meant praising whatever aspects of themselves they either loved or hated the most. Then there were those like Zale, who wouldn't respond well to adulation at all. The ones who had been hurt deep down and who lashed out their pain at the world instead of dealing with it. I didn't know what or who had hurt Zale, but it was obvious something had. No one could be this angry at the world without a reason.

I was trying to be patient with him. I really was. But I couldn't help wanting to be near him all the time, and he was starting to seem really annoyed by my very presence. So, it had seemed like time to stop sticking to the shadows. But I didn't know how much more of his lashing out I could take.

"You should try the tilapia," Zale said.

"What?" I asked, hardly believing my own eyes. All the hard edges of his usual expressions were gone, and he was looking at me with beautiful, soft eyes and a gentle smile.

"Tilapia. It's a good starter fish. Very mild."

"Um, thanks. I'll try it," I said. Zale nodded and went back to looking down at his menu, though I didn't know why he was still studying it if he already knew what he wanted to eat. Maybe he was just avoiding having to look at me. My heart ached again, and I quickly shoved away the thought. I was getting ahead of myself and making assumptions again. Better to stick to facts rather than painful guesswork.

The waiter came and wrote down our orders, then took the menus. Now that the excuse of the menu was gone, Zale finally looked at me for more than a couple of seconds. "So, what are you doing teaching at a school on Earth? Shouldn't you be off in faery land?" he asked. His tone was flat and had a bit of a sarcastic edge to it, but I thought he looked genuinely curious underneath all that.

I decided to take it as a positive that he was showing any kind of interest in me at all. That had to be a good sign, right? After all, he couldn't be asking out of politeness. I had seen first-hand just how little Zale cared about being polite... especially to me.

"I guess you could say I'm here because of my best friend," I said slowly. It was sort of the truth, just not the whole truth. "He made me realize staying in Alterra wasn't making me happy. So I left."

Zale took a thoughtful sip of his soda. "And did it work? Are you happy now?"

That wasn't an easy question to answer. I didn't have much here on Earth yet. Just my job and a few friends, really. But I had so many more possibilities than I'd ever had before, and that had to count for something. "I think so."

Zale laughed a little. "If you're not sure, you're not happy." I thought that was all he was going to say, but then he added, "I hope you find happiness, Fen."

And it seemed like the perfect moment to tell him that he was my happiness, or at least that he could be. But I chickened out, and the moment passed when the waiter came by to refill our cups.

The rest of our dinner passed quicker than I could have imagined. Zale asked me a lot of questions about Alterra – where I was from – and it made me feel warm and so very seen that he cared enough to ask. But any time I tried asking about Zale's past, he deflected. Maybe merfolk were naturally secretive. Maybe outsiders weren't supposed to know much about them. I decided that was the likeliest explanation, since it was the one I liked best.

I had such a good time with Zale that when the waiter cleared away our plates and left a check, I wasn't even that upset that our time together was ending. This was the first of countless nights just like this one, and in the future, maybe he and I wouldn't have to separate at the end of the meal. We would go back to our shared home and spend even more time together.

I knew Earth etiquette. I knew that if you asked someone out to eat, you should pay for the meal. Zale wouldn't let me, though. I reached for the check, but he was faster and had slipped a credit card into the little leather book before I could stop him.

"But-" I protested, though honestly I wasn't going to complain too much. I was just starting my job at Ashen Oak, so I didn't have much Earth money. Anyway, it was nice that Zale wanted to pay for me.

He didn't even let me complain, though. "Let me pay as a thank you. This was fun. I think I needed a change of scenery."

I squeezed the muscles in my legs to lock myself into place, since it was either that or I would squirm in my seat like a kid.

He had fun!

Before now, I hadn't been entirely sure Zale was even capable of fun. He always had such a flat expression.

"Thanks," I said. "I had fun too. Can we do it again? Soon?"

He laughed a little – just a single 'heh' – and said, "Sure."

Could this night have gone any better? This time, I couldn't help squirming in my seat a bit and I thought Zale looked just a bit amused.

I should tell him.

Because he deserved to know that he was my soul mate. And surely, he would want to know... wouldn't he? Now that he didn't seem to view me as just an annoyance, he would want to know this. And what would be a better time?

"Do you mind if we make a quick detour before we go back to campus?" I asked. This kind of conversation wasn't for public or human-filled places.

"Okay," Zale agreed. I could sense his hesitation, but at least he had agreed.

So instead of going back to the faculty building at Ashen Oak when we made it back to the secluded alley behind the restaurant, I took Zale's hand and brought him to the only place I could think of: the beach.

He looked around with wide eyes when we arrived, then he did a little 'heh' laugh again and said, "The beach?"

Nerves took away my voice and I shrugged. It had made sense to me. I wanted to take Zale somewhere private, where he would feel comfortable. He was a merman, so what better place than the beach?

"Um, Fen?" Zale said, looking suddenly perturbed.

"Yeah?"

"It's daytime," he whispered.

I looked around and realized what had him so uncomfortable. We weren't in Maine anymore, where night had already fallen. I took him to the beach my friend, Luin, had shown me. "It's earlier in California," I said.

"California?" Zale echoed, and he sounded a little winded. "This teleportation thing is going to take some getting used to."

Darn! I was supposed to be making him more comfortable here, and instead I might have sent him into shock. "Sorry. Do you want me to take you back?" I offered.

"Um, it's okay. What are we here for?"

"I just wanted to talk. Can we sit down?" I asked nervously.

Maybe it was my nerves or my tone, or just the fact that we were still relative strangers. Whatever it was, Zale was obviously reluctant when he nodded and settled himself down on the sand next to me. It was hotter to the touch than I expected and I started to think I had set this up all wrong. Sand was going to be all over both of us, and we weren't at all dressed for this. I was hot until the wind whipped at me, and then I was cold. And my hair was going to be a tangled mass soon.

But Zale was frowning at me, obviously waiting for some kind of explanation. There was nothing I could do but open my mouth and speak.

"You're my soul mate."

And once the words were out of my mouth, I felt sharp relief... that is, until I glanced at Zale and saw how his expression had hardened.

"No."

That was it. That was all he said. Just, no.

"No, really, you are," I said, and this time I kept my eyes on his so he could see that I was telling the truth.

"No," he said, his voice hoarse now. "I can't be."

I had no idea how to respond to that. It was like he was telling me the sky wasn't blue or the ocean wasn't wet. How could you argue with someone refuting such an unshakable truth?

"You're not even from here. I can't be," he said.

Oh! So, that was what he was getting at. "I didn't know it was possible for soul bonds to cross realms either," I said. "Not until it happened to me."

And since it seemed like the best way to show Zale the truth, to make him understand, I infused some magic into the bond between us so Zale would be able to feel it, too. His body jerked and he launched to his feet, tripping himself in his haste to put distance between us.

"What is that? What did you do to me?" Zale seemed angry now, and I struggled to understand where this all went so wrong.

"I didn't change anything," I told him. "I just made it so you could feel what was already there."

"Turn it off," he demanded. I thought I saw the sheen of tears in his eyes, but he turned away from me before I could be certain. His arms wrapped around himself and he held himself rigidly still. Since it was obvious I wasn't going to get anywhere with him closing himself off like this, I did as he asked.

Zale didn't react when he couldn't feel the bond anymore, and I waited what felt like an eternity for him to turn back around or say something. He didn't, though, and finally, I hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder. Zale jerked away from me and still didn't turn around.

"Let me take you home," I said. It was obvious he needed time, and I knew he was more likely to lash out at me or push me away until he got it. Me, I was numb to what was happening. It had been obvious from the beginning he wasn't going to make this easy on me. At least now the truth was out there. It would probably hit me later, his harsh rejection, but for now, I was just numb.

Just when I was opening my mouth to repeat myself, thinking that maybe the wind and the waves had muffled my voice too much for him to hear me, Zale reached a hand blindly back in my direction. I took it and transported us back to the academy.

As soon as we were in the faculty building again, Zale ripped his hand out of mine and hurried away. I gave him a few minutes' head start before following him up the stairs and heading for my own room.