When Rory babysat, she and Jack had time alone. Maddie thought she should bake cookies for Megan as a thank you. They made exquisite love. Jack was a maestro who could make her body hum. She reluctantly left his loving arms and went home when Megan texted.

In the morning her mother asked, "Is Jack Harris going to make an honest woman out of you?"

"Mom, you never bugged me about Steve!"

"Because I realize now, you never loved him, but you do Jack."

"You're right I do."

"Hurry up! I want a grandchild."

"I already told you, Jack doesn't want the anxiety of another pregnant wife. I'm getting too old, anyway."

"That's baloney! If Jack really loves you, he'll give you a child."

"Mom, he's already willingly giving me two children. He shares Rory and Emma with me and I don't just mean when he needs help. He shares his worries and respects my opinion and..."

"I know his children love you, but you need your own baby!"

"I need Jack, even though he's still a little broken, he's what I need. I could never be happy with another man and a baby. I'm practically too old. I was angry I wasted three good years with Steve, but now I'm glad because of Jack."

"I'm glad he makes you happy. I'm just being selfish."

"No, you want what your friends have. Especially since Alice is on the verge of becoming a grandmother."

The day of Maddie's doctor's appointment, she panicked. She knew they'd ask the date of her last period and it had been too long. How could that be? She was certain they'd used a condom every time. Oh no, Jack! She couldn't do this to Jack. She sent him a text she couldn't run and went to the pharmacy. Luckily no one was there at seven-thirty in the morning.

Never in the last twenty years had she ever needed a test. Her hands were shaking as she opened the packaging. Oh God, what was she going to do? Poor Jack!

The result didn't surprise her, because she was always twenty-eight days even when she wasn't on the pill. The fear that gripped her did. Still, she dressed and went to work, only because the alternative was to stay home and cry. If it was the middle of winter and she lived alone, she'd do just that.

She canceled her appointment telling the receptionist that she changed her mind about the pill. She went back and forth between freaking out over being pregnant and having drunk wine.

Jack texted her because she didn't give a good excuse for not running. She responded, she was just tired, and she would stay home that evening. She rarely had a day when she didn't see Jack.

Somehow she made it through her workday. She went home to her room. Her mother asked if she was alright and she replied that it was belly trouble. Belly trouble alright!

If she slept, it wasn't for very long. She wanted Jack, but he was the one person she couldn't tell. In the wee hours of the morning, she began looking for jobs across the country. She could just leave without warning. Maybe Jack would forgive her if she came back with his baby. She doubted it. He would hate her because leaving him after he lost Nicole would break him.

She texted him in the early morning hours that she wouldn't run again. She lied to him but didn't know how to face him. Face him, she did when he stopped by the library. He walked toward her with the smile he saved just for her. It made her insides melt most days, but she only wanted to cry.

"I was in town and couldn't stay away." Discreetly running his thumb over her hand, he said, "I miss you. When is your lunch break?"

"I'm not taking one today. I have a ton of work to do." She lied. She hated lying to him but had no choice.

"Do you want to come for dinner? I'll make my specialty." He winked.

Maddie knew his specialty was pasta with jarred sauce and lots of vegetables for her. "No, I'm meeting my friend tonight."

"When do I get to meet your friends?"

"Soon," she answered, certain it was another lie.

Before Jack left, he whispered, "I love you."

She thought, you won't when you've found out what I've done. She needed to hide, so she made plans to go see her friend, Evie who was also a children's librarian in a town just north of Portland.

Evie had been as lost as Maddie felt, but then she met Tom, a widower. They were expecting their first child together, and Evie was on bedrest. Maddie had been planning to visit, but she had been too occupied with Jack.

When Tom ushered her into the master bedroom, Evie exclaimed, "Maddie what's wrong?"

Maddie thought she had plastered on a smile, but at Evie's question, she felt the tears breaking through.

Tom said, "I'll leave you two."

Maddie said, "No! I need your perspective."

He nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. As heading of the NICU, he had to be used to women in tears.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" Evie asked.

"I'm pregnant and..."

"But Maddie that's great. But what about the father, what did he say?"

"Jack, I can't tell him. He told me he couldn't deal with another pregnancy. He is too afraid after the accident and Emma."

"Maddie, you're not making sense. Start at the beginning..."

Before she could say anything else, Tom said, "Jack? Is Emma his daughter?"

"Yes, but his wife died when..."

"Oh God, I know him!"

"What?" both women asked together.

"Emma was my patient before we moved to Maine. It was one of the most awful things. I was still grieving and should have helped him, but I couldn't and always felt guilty."

"What happened?" Evie asked because she was the only one in the room who didn't know the whole story.

Tom continued and told the story of the accident and Nicole's death. Maddie sobbed for Jack and Rory as she listened to the story she knew so well.

She said, "I have known Jack since we were kids. His parent's had a cottage. He and the girls moved up last March. When they arrived they were so broken, it was awful. But somehow he and I fell in love, but he can't live through another woman he loves being pregnant. I knew it and was okay with it. We have Emma and Rory. Emma doesn't know she had a mother."

"Oh Maddie, if he loves you, he'll do what he has to do. He has no choice. I wasn't certain I wanted to get pregnant again after I lost my baby, but then I was and we're taking it one day at a time."

"Darling, at twenty-eight weeks we're in the home stretch."

"I know but we had to take it week by week. The thing is, we have each other."

"I'm so glad to hear Jack found someone. No other case has haunted me... not even all the babies that didn't survive."

Maddie couldn't decide if her visit helped or not. She couldn't get the image of the Jack Tom knew out of his head.

As he showed her to the door, Tom said, "After you work everything out and Evie's sprung from her bed, I want to meet your Jack and Emma." Maddie knew he meant the new Jack, not the broken one he had already met.

She avoided everyone. Even when Rory texted her, she didn't respond. Rory wanted to know when she was coming over again. She kept putting Jack off but knew she couldn't do it forever. Saturday morning, she expected Jack to show up for story time and was relieved when he didn't. Megan did. It had been a long time since Megan had brought Abbie, but it was soccer season so she was probably happy to let Peter handle the cleats and shin pads.

Maddie wasn't top form, and a newborn distracted her. She felt sick listen to the tiny cries. When it was over, Megan approached her.

"Have you been sick? Peter said you haven't run in days."

Maddie looked at Megan and Abbie and thought who better to talk to than someone who might understand. Sighing, she said, "Can we talk?"

"Are you and Jack fighting?"

"Let me get my things and maybe we can sit in your car." Maddie suggested.

Once inside Megan's minivan, Megan said, "Maddie, whatever it is it can't be as bad as you look."

"I'm pregnant."

"So that's good, right? Who cares, you're not married? At least you're with Jack."

"No, Jack can't. He had an anxiety attack one day just because Jen was going to drive her car. He told me he couldn't do it. I told him it was fine because I was getting too old and with Emma."

"But this just happened. He'll figure out how to deal with it. He's overcome so much already. From where I sat four years ago, you can work this out. Men will do a lot for the woman they love and Jack loves you."

"I know he does which is what makes this so hard, but if you saw his face after he saw Jen. He had a stricken look, it broke my heart. He can't cope. I've seriously thought of disappearing."

"Maddie, you can't do that. Tell him."

"But if he knows, he'll worry. Did you tell him?" She never knew if Abbie's father knew about her.

"No, he was already gone and not coming back. He made it clear he never wanted a family. I never loved him, but you and Jack love each other. It's obvious to anyone who's seen you together. I bet if Jack had to choose between losing you and anxiety, he'd choose the anxiety. He can take pills for it if he needs to."

Maddie listened, but it made her more confused. Deep down, she loved that their love had created a life. She knew once that life was born, Jack would be happy, but not before. She could keep it a secret for a few months, but not much longer.

"Maddie, tell him. He'll be happy," Megan implored. "Peter said that he'd look terrible yesterday."

Maddie didn't respond. She got out of Megan's minivan and walked to her car before the tears fell. She slipped past her mother and into her room. While curled up on her bed, she could hear the hammering sound. It was the work on Jack's house. She actually believed she'd live there someday, but now she wasn't so sure. Exhausted, she fell asleep.

She woke to the sound of her mother's voice. "She's been in a mood all week. I figured you two had a fight."

"If we did, I missed it," Jack said.

Then she heard her door open.

Something wasn't right. Maddie hadn't been around all week. Whenever she asked Jack, he wouldn't answer. Rory was convinced he screwed up and was in a fight with Maddie. She even texted Maddie, but she never responded.

Life at home was miserable. It reminded her of before they moved. Jack stopped shaving and wasn't eating. The only thing he did was run but without Maddie. He just looked sad.

"Come on, tell me what's going on?"

"Rory, I can't. I don't know. She wouldn't talk to me. She's avoiding me."

"You must have said something to her," Rory accused him.

"I didn't!" he said angrily.

"Go talk to her then. Don't just let her go. What happened to loving her and wanting to marry her?"

"I do. I want to. Maybe she doesn't love me."

Rory felt bad because he was seriously hurting. Would she have to hate Maddie if she hurt her dad? Maddie wasn't like that - something was wrong.

When Jack shut the door after putting Emma for her nap, he said, "I'm going out. I don't know how long I'll be."

Rory watched him go and could only hope he'd come back with Maddie. She took out her journal to ask for help. She still didn't get an answer about the sperm donor, but this was more important. This couldn't wait.

Dear Mommy,

I think you know that everything's been different lately. Dad has been happy, because of Maddie. He loves you, but he loves her too. Now, something's wrong. Maddie won't talk to us. Mommy, please help Maddie. We need her. Emma loves her. Jack wants to marry her. Does that make you sad that we'll be a family?

Rory continued to pour her heart out. When she turned to the next page, she froze. There was a faint heart drawn in red pencil or crayon. She hadn't drawn it. Did Maddie before she gave the journal to her? It was not in the middle of the book. It was closer to the front. Rory hadn't used too many pages. She saved the journal for important talks with her mother. Did mommy send her a message? If Maddie hadn't drawn the heart, then it had to be mom, because no one else had access. She always hid it. She needed Jack to make things right with Maddie, so she could ask her.

Please, please make it okay, she thought.

Jack needed to see Maddie. He gave her space, but his heart was breaking and it was fragile, to begin with.

He saw her car and assumed that she was home. He knocked on her door. Judy Evans answered the door.

"She's been in a mood all week. I figured you two had a fight."

"If we did, I missed it."

Judy pointed toward Maddie's room, and Jack slowly opened her door. It was dark inside, but he could see her curled up on her bed. Unsure if she was awake, he walked over and looked at her face. She wasn't asleep but staring at nothing.

"Maddie honey, what's wrong?" She closed her eyes. "Tell me what I did so I can make it right." He reached out and rubbed her back. "Mads, I love you. I need you. I miss you. We, all three of us, miss you."

He saw tears leaking out of her closed eyes. He gathered her limp body into his arms. "Nothing can be this bad." Maybe if she cheated on him or if she really didn't love him. Although he entertained both thoughts all week, he didn't believe either was possible.

She cried as he held her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"What sweetheart, what are you sorry for?" He kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry... baby."

"I know, but for what Mads. What are you sorry for?"

She gulped, "Baby."

"What Mads? Tell me." He was desperate to know what had her so distraught.

"No, not baby... a baby." She sobbed.

"What? Did you say a baby?" he asked in disbelief. She nodded. "If you're telling me we're having a baby, it's not your fault. I'm the one to blame for that. Why did you hide?"

"Because you can't. You don't want one."

Jack was taking steps, so he would feel comfortable if she were to become pregnant. He had his first appointment the day he stopped by the library. The behaviorist told him he should be a good candidate for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. He planned to surprise her with the news when he proposed. A baby meant he needed to get through his treatment before Maddie was too far along. It was only when Jen was towards the end that it bothered him. Maybe it will be sooner with Mads and his baby, but they would deal with it. They had too.

"Mads, it'll be okay. I promise you."

"How?" she asked in disbelief.

"Because I wanted to surprise you, but I started a treatment to help me cope. I knew I wanted to give you a baby. I was thinking after we got married, but..."

"Married! You really want to marry me after I trapped you?"

"Darling, what are you talking about? You didn't trap me. If it's anyone's fault you're pregnant, it's mine. Hell, I got a condom stuck in you. I also may have taken a few dips, not dressed for the occasion. I wanted feel you. I wasn't thinking I was taking a chance. Lord, the best part is that now we don't need a condom for the foreseeable future." He let his hand travel over her body.

"Jack! You're crazy," she hissed.

"About you and our baby. I'm scared. I won't deny that, but you having my baby is amazing. God Mads, I missed you. I want you." He kissed her and she melted into him.

"Jack, my mother."

"I don't care. I'm giving her what she wants. If I want to make love to the woman I'm going to marry, then I will."

"Marry?"

"I planned to wait until I knew the treatment worked, but now there's no reason to wait. In fact, I just need to send a quick text."

He picked up his phone and texted Rory, Everything is fine. I think you need to work on your plan.

He put his phone down and took Maddie back in his arms. His hands convinced her that her bedroom in her parent's house at that moment was the right place to make love.

Afterward, he held her and rubbed circles approximately over her uterus. "Jack, are you really going to be okay?"

"I hope so, if not you'll have to sedate me until you go into labor, but one thing for sure I don't want to miss our baby's birth."

"Jack, I'm barely pregnant and you're talking about labor and birth."

"I know, but Mads can't a guy be excited especially when he's so virile at almost thirty-eight, he gets his girl pregnant without trying."

"His girl?" He shrugged. "Jack shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Not without you. Rory misses you. I think this week put an end to any doubts she had about us. She was so afraid I lost you."

"I missed her, both of them."

"Them?"

"Not just. I missed you. I was so confused. I was contemplating running away."

"Maddie, let's make a promise to face everything together. Never alone. Never again."

"Together." She curled into him. They stayed there in each other's arms until they heard her mother calling. "Is everything alright in there?"

"Yes. Just talking." Both quickly scrambled out of bed and got dressed.

"What are you going to tell your mother?"

"Nothing yet. It's too soon. Although Megan knows."

"Did she try to talk sense into you?"

"Yes. Now let's go see your girls."

"Our girls." Jack corrected her.