14 - If Maddie thinks you're okay

Maddie and Jack didn't run on Sunday because it rained. Maddie offered him use of her treadmill, but he passed. The fish market was closed on Sundays during the offseason, so she called Lynn after she went food shopping.

"Any more dates?"

"Yes, I think we're a couple."

"You think?"

"Well, we've gone out seven times."

"You're counting!"

"He wants to stay over, but I'm not sure..."

"He'll wait until you are." Maddie assured her.

"Hey, did you know Jack's back?"

"Yeah, I ran into him at the library. His daughter loves to read."

"Don't tell me... you've adopted her!"

Maddie laughed. "I'm on my way. She's a special girl. She needs extra love."

"I'm sure she does. Maddie, if anyone can heal that child, it'll be you. No one has a heart like you."

Maddie wasn't sure what Lynn said was true, but she definitely cared for Rory and Emma and Jack too.

It surprised Maddie to see Jack appear with Emma just before story time on Tuesday morning. She smiled at him.

"I wanted to see you in action Ms. Librarian."

Maddie didn't know why she was nervous to perform in front of him. The library Maddie was a far cry from the teen who hung out on the beach all summer. Once she started and focused on the little faces, she relaxed. She saw Emma having fun and the first chance she had she ran over to Maddie. It wasn't unusual for little ones to flock around her, but she always resisted the urge to pick them up. With Emma, she scooped her right up. She had done the same with Abbie and the twins. Point children were her special ones. Emma was now part of that exclusive group.

Jack didn't linger, but a few of the women asked who the new guy was. They used a variety of words to describe him - cute, hunk, gorgeous. They made her laugh, because most were happily married. Jack probably hadn't noticed any of them in his grieving haze.

Running on Wednesday morning, Maddie asked Jack if he had fun. He assured her Emma did, and that was all that mattered.

"Maybe you can convince my favorite groupie to come on Saturday morning."

Peter said, "That's me. I want to. I'll try. Jack, you game?"

"Sure Rory's been asking to go get books."

"Anytime she wants to hang out after school, I can give her a ride home."

"Megan can too. The library is on her rounds to pick up the kids."

"See Jack, we're all here to help." Maddie slowed down, and the other two kept running. She remembered Lynn's words about healing Rory. Maddie wondered who would heal poor Jack.

Rory and Cassie had fallen into a routine. They arrived at the bus stop early and bought hot cocoa. The first day, Rory said she didn't have money.

Cassie said, "Rick will just charge your parents later."

Rory wasn't sure Jack would like that, but Cassie said, parents, which upset her enough not to care. The hot cocoa was delicious. Rory had also learned the two boys were brothers. The younger one, Cole, was in her science class, and the older one, Sam, was a sophomore. Cassie liked Cole, but Rory still found real boys immature and stupid. She kept her crushes to characters between the pages and stars from the shows she watched on her iPad.

Babysitting had been fun and taking care of Abbie was like being with Emma except with Sophie to help. She made forty dollars which was awesome. The only money she had ever had before was birthday money from Gran. Megan said they would ask her again and her friends would too. It was probably better for her than hanging out in her room alone.

She was used to her new school and more comfortable with the girls at lunch. When she felt sad thoughts and lost focus, she tried to think of Maddie or Megan. Both had been so nice to her.

She went to see Megan before school. "Do you know Cassie?" she asked.

Mrgan nodded. "Is there a problem?"

"It's just everyone knows everything about me, but Cassie thinks I have parents."

"Her folks work a lot. They haven't lived here long and may not know your grandparents. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"Would you?"

"If it will make things a little easier for you."

Rory felt something, but she didn't know what it was. She felt lighter in her heart for a moment. She thanked Megan and rushed off to class.

Jack made an appointment for her to see a new counselor after school. She was dreading it, because she would have to tell her the whole story about her mother.

On the drive to the appointment, she asked Jack, "Will you explain?"

He paused. "Kiddo, we can go in together. How does that sound?"

"I guess."

Why did she think if she didn't talk about it, it would be like it didn't happen? Just like she was glad she didn't have to tell Cassie. She didn't want to talk to the counselor, but wasn't that part of counseling? Her head spun as all the emotions went round and round. The office looked different from Courtney's. It was smaller and didn't have a smiling face behind the desk. There was a waiting area and a sign that read, In session. Please have a seat. Jack sat first with Emma on his lap. After walking in a circle, Rory sat too. She wanted to run - not like Jack, but run away. Why did she have to go to a counselor? Why was she different? She knew the answer, because it was always the same. She thought for a moment and asked, "Hey what about you? Are you going to go to counseling?"

"Maybe. I wanted to give myself time to settle in and decide. I know kiddo, it's not fair, but like everything, if you don't like it, then tell me. We have to keep trying."

She sat quietly trying to find something to argue with him about, but she couldn't. When the door opened, a teen boy left, and a woman smiled and greeted them.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Landry, but you can call me Doctor Deb."

"Jack Harris and my daughters, Rory and Emma."

"Come on in and let's get to know each other."

"You mentioned Maddie, on the phone. Rory do you like the library?" Dr. Deb asked.

"I love it, but Maddie is my friend."

"She and I were friends growing up," Jack added.

"So tell me why you're here today?"

"Because we moved away from Courtney, my old counselor." Rory knew that wasn't what she was asking.

Jack spoke up. "Rory had been seeing Courtney as a grief counselor since shortly after her mother was killed in an accident. It'll be two years soon."

Rory watched as she looked at Emma. It confused people Mom could die and have a baby. Frustrated she said angrily, "She was pregnant, and they saved Emma!" She saw the shocked look of Jack's face. She'd never spoken about it like that before.

"How do you feel about your sister?"

"I love her... me and her are what's left from Mom. Mommy wanted her baby. She was so happy. Besides, if she died, poor Dad would lose his only baby."

"Hey Rore, you're mine too. You know that." Jack reached over and squeezed her hand.

She looked at the doc. "He married Mommy when I was six. He adopted me, so he's my Dad, but I'm not his baby."

"Rory, I love you like you're mine."

"I know, but I'm just glad we have your baby. It's bad enough we lost Mom," Rory felt the tears. She didn't know why all this was bubbling up. She and Jack got along fine, and she was glad she had him.

"Why don't I talk to Rory now?"

Jack nodded and picked up Emma, who was playing on the floor. Once alone, the doc asked, "How do you feel about your dad?"

"I love him. I do, but I remember before when he was Jack. Me and Mommy went on dates with him. Sometimes Mommy went alone. Then they got married. I feel bad because he's lonely and sad too. He never had a baby before and he didn't have Mom to help with Emma, but he does good. She's the only one who doesn't miss Mom."

"Sounds like you've had a lot of sadness. Do you have trouble coping?"

"I cry in school and I hate it. I'm trying at my new school. I hated my old one."

"Why's that?"

"I had no friends. I already have friends here."

"Are you glad you moved here?"

"I guess I am."

Deb asked, "So do you think you'd like to continue talking with me?"

"Maddie likes you?"

She smiled. "I think so."

"Then okay, cuz if Maddie thinks you're okay, I will too."

Jack felt sad listening to Rory. He didn't want Rory to think he loved her different from Emma. To him, the only difference was he didn't know her as a baby. He had only seen pictures. At four when he met her, she was still little - just a few steps past being a baby. His heart broke when she was hurting and if that wasn't love then what was?

Jack could tell Rory was happier in Maine. She was still sad about Nicole, but her whole life was no longer sad. He was glad he chose The Point too. He wasn't sure he had ever felt at home in any other community. He grew up in Boston and their first house was in Nicole's town, not his.

Feeling emotional over Rory's meeting, Jack wondered if Maddie would want to stop by. While Rory was behind closed doors with Dr. Deb, he texted her:

Do you want to come for dinner? I could use a friend.

After Rory's appointment, he stopped at the store in case she agreed. He was good at pasta, but she was on a diet, so he bought lots of salad fixings. He thought she looked healthy, but he'd learned not to question women about their thoughts on their own weight. Nicole was tall and thin - almost too thin, but she watched her weight like a hawk.

He was in the store when she texted him back:

Ok. I work til 5.

"Hey, kiddo. I asked Maddie to come over for dinner. I thought you'd like that."

"Really!" She looked at him funny. "You're cooking?"

"Yes, pasta and salad and fruit for dessert."

Rory smiled. "Because she's on her diet."

"Because she's our guest, and it's what she would like."

On the ride home, he asked, "I'm here if you want to talk more. I know we talked about things today we tend to... avoid."

"I'm good. She's okay. Maddie likes her."

"I'm glad you like Maddie. She's a good friend. Are you glad we're here?"

"I guess so. It's better than before... except when Gran and Gramps come the house will be too small."

"Kiddo, you're right. If there was a house for sale on The Point, I'd buy it. Because even if you decide this isn't where you want to live, it could be our summer home." He wasn't sure where that idea came from, but it made sense. He could afford it, but according to Alex houses just didn't go on the market. He needed to tell Rick to keep his ears open. Maybe there was a rental, but summer rentals were weekly.

Once home, he set to work chopping vegetables for the salad. He also added some sautéed mushrooms, onions and peppers to his jarred sauce. When he heard the knock on the door, the water was boiling. Rory raced to let Maddie in. Emma went running to her too. Maddie had no choice, but to pick his daughter up.

"Hi Mads looks like you have a new friend." Jack greeted her.

"I'm not complaining." She kissed Emma's neck. She giggled and squirmed, and Maddie set her down to run away.

Maddie turned her attention to Rory. "So how are you?"

"Okay, I met your friend Doctor Deb today."

"What did you think?"

Jack turned back towards the stove and gave Rory space. He trusted Maddie to listen and let him know if she was concerned for Rory. It didn't take long before everything was ready. He scooped up Emma and secured her in the high chair, and then he called the other two. He normally dished out the pasta, but asked the girls to dish their own.

He said, "There's a salad too."

"I saw, it looks wonderful."

"Wonderful! The sauce is from a jar!" Rory said.

"That's fine. I've eaten plenty of jarred sauce in my life." Maddie laughed.

She took very little pasta. He wished he could cook something healthier for her. "I'd make stir-fry if I knew how."

"I can teach you."

"Can you teach him how to make other good things?" Rory asked.

Jack added, "You're old enough to cook. Maybe she should teach you too."

Maddie said, "I'll teach you both."

Jack asked, "Do you have homework?"

Rory looked defeated. "A lot."

Maddie said, "You can come over again on Saturday afternoon okay?"

"Can you have dinner with us again?"

Maddie smiled. "Do you like fish?" When Rory nodded, she said, "I'll make dinner. You can come to my house."

Maddie was looking at Jack when she extended her invitation, and he nodded. Rory disappeared, and Maddie helped clean the kitchen.

"You don't need to. You're the guest." Jack protested.

"You said you needed a friend. I'm here," she said softly.

"It was hard telling our story today. Rory wanted me to tell it, but then she blurted out about Emma. I'm always worried she'll resent her, because she lived."

"She loves Emma, I can tell. She talked about sharing books with her when she gets older. I think she worries about you?"

"What did she say?"

"Just that she's glad I came because you're sad and lonely."

"You know I've been less lonely since the move. Just seeing you and Peter in the morning and knowing there are people all around who care. As for sad... well, not every minute... not like in the beginning."

Maddie squeezed his bicep again which was her way to give support. "You can talk to me about anything. I'll listen. You're not alone."

"I know Mads. Thanks."

Emma was vying for Maddie's attention. While Maddie was reading to Emma, Jack's phone rang. He answered and greeted his partner. He listened as Adam talked about a client Jack had been working with. He said, "I'll finish tonight. It's close. I'm about to put the baby to bed then I can work."

"He wants to meet with us this week. What day works?"

Jack's mind raced as he mumbled something to Adam about letting him know. Maddie was looking at him. She asked, "Is everything alright?"

"I have to go to Boston this week and I haven't had time to make arrangements for Emma."

"Daycare?" she asked.

"Maybe eventually, but not for this week. I need a babysitter." He felt defeated.

"Let me make some calls. Meanwhile, talk to Peter about their daycare. I'll say goodbye to Rory and get out of your way so you can work."

Jack watched as Maddie rapped lightly on Rory's door. He heard their muffled voices as he captured Emma and started changing his uncooperative, squirmy daughter for bed. Maddie stuck her head in the bedroom and said, "She's a handful." Changing her tone and walking over to them. "Emma baby, help your daddy."

Jack let her help wrangle, because four hands are better than two. Once Emma was in her jammies, Maddie disappeared. She left Jack with a sad feeling, because just those few minutes of help reminded him of what he'd been missing. He did everything for Emma and Rory - things that he and Nicole should have been doing together.

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