My finger was hovering over the enter button of my laptop as my brain tried to reason itself out with me. Just one press of the button will send my confirmation letter out and that means I’ve officially accepted the freshman program.

It also meant that I said no to whatever summer Jasper was planning.

“Savannah, could you please help me with my packing?” Celeste knocked on my door, gently cracking it open, “We have to get everything ready for our flight tomorrow.”

She took one look at my face for her to realize there was something wrong. Clicking her tongue, she shook her head and completely entered my room, “Let me guess this one, boy trouble?”

“Kind of,” I sighed, turning my laptop so the screen was shown to her. She squinted a bit as she read the words and a small smile was creeping onto her face. She was proud of what she had seen, but she was still aware that this was upsetting me.

“Grab your jacket, we’ll go for a walk,” she said, heading to the door, “My sister-in-law is much more important than packing.”

Closing my laptop, I quickly stood up and took my knitted cardigan from the back of my desk chair as I followed her out. Drew popped his head from his room and caught the sight of the two of us going down the stairs, “Where are you two going?”

Celeste reached out her hand towards her husband and beckoned for him to come near. He looked back inside the room, probably contemplating if he should leave whatever mess that exploded inside there, but of course, he went with his wife.

“Now where are we going?” he repeated as he held Celeste’s hand in his. I can never ignore how in love these two are, it was sickening yet sweet at the same time.

“We’re going to tell Savannah a little thing we learned while we were in high school,” she replied as the two of them led the way while I obediently trailed along. She took a quick detour to the living room first, grabbing her bag before continuing on the journey.

We passed by Jasper’s house and I frowned, the reminder of my decision lugging with me as I continued to follow these two. They were chatting to themselves, often shooting a quick look towards me, making sure I was still there.

The streets got busier as we walked on and the rising skyscrapers were coming into view. They entered one of the buildings and I gulped as I follow, knowing this all too well. Celeste shot a smile towards the guard who bowed his head respectfully towards her.

“What are we doing at your old place, Celeste?” I questioned, looking around the fancy lobby. She winked at me as she asked for a piece of paper from the reception desk. She handed it to me and I examined it, “It’s blank.”

“Pretend that’s an acceptance letter from the university,” she told me, “Now what would have you felt?”

“Pretty excited,” I shrugged, completely lost in this situation.

She shook her head and plucked the paper from my hands, “When I got mine, I was scared.”

“Are we going to relive your life or something?”

“She’s got it!” she clapped, removing her hand from Drew’s arm to grab mine, “I believe teaching in actions is much better than words.”

We then got dragged out and continued our quick descent to wherever else Celeste decided to take us.

I don’t know how long our adventure was, but I was soon becoming familiar to the surroundings. They halted right in front of a medium sized house with a white picket fence protecting it from the world. It had a rusting bench on the front porch and the grass grew tall with the years it must have been deserted from.

“Welcome home, Savannah,” Celeste smiled, opening the gate which made a loud creaking noise. I cringed at the sound but I observed the couple as they walked to the porch, “I then visited your house and told Drew what was happening.”

“You should have seen the look on her face,” my brother cracked a grin, “She was terrified and in such a panic, I had to pull her out of the house before she started to have a meltdown.”

I cautiously walked in, my feet trying to make sure I only stepped on the rocky path that lead to the front door. The plants surrounding the place had withered and died, it was always a mystery why they refused to sell this place, I mean, we already have a better house.

Drew opened the door, indicating that it was never locked all these years. We stepped inside and I examined the dust filled walls and corners of the house. From the foyer you can see the doorway leading up to the living room and kitchen and at the side, there leans the small staircase leading to the upstairs.

“You know, if you never left this house, you might have never been best friends with Jasper,” Celeste pointed out, casually circling around the room , “I mean, maybe you could have bumped into each other, but you’ve grown so close because the fact you two are neighbors.”

“Then nothing would be bugging your head right now,” Drew added, “You could have sent that confirmation letter days ago with no hesitation.”

Biting my lip, I agreed with their words and it was slowly breaking down my insides. If I haven’t been best friends with Jasper, then I wouldn’t have fallen for him, get into a huge mess called a broken friendship, and then at some point, get myself in a relationship with him.

Then I could get myself shipped off to university without batting an eye.

“Picture yourself four years from now,” Celeste spoke which made me close my eyes, “What do you see?”

A very stressed college chick who’s about to graduate.

“Me trying to finish up everything so I could leave college with flying colors?” I answered and I saw Celeste blew out a breath of frustration.

“What’s the point of this?” I asked, my patience running thin. How could this be possibly related to my problem?

“Alright then, let’s go straight to the park,” she announced, “Forward, my mates.”

I dragged myself behind them, mumbling incoherent words under my breath, finding this less than enjoyable. We entered the park where the trees were just beginning to grow back the leaves that old man winter stole away.

They took a step to the side, no longer hindering my view. My eyes widened as I saw Jasper sitting on one of the benches, nervously twiddling with the falling button on his jacket.

“Called him here when we were walking,” Drew said as he turned to Celeste who took out an envelope from her bag. She waved it to me, telling me to get it.

When I cautiously slipped out the paper from it, I gazed over the paper that indicated the offer to the early freshman program. It was a letter that came in the mail weeks ago, something I never took out of the house before.

“I snatched it before we left,” Celeste explained, “Now how about you talk the guy you used to hide that thing from?”

Jasper lifted his gaze and it landed towards where we were standing. He lifted up a hand as a wave of hello and I returned it with a soft smile. I took a step forwards, but before I could continue on, I turned back to the happy couple who claimed something important happened here, “What did you two do after Celeste walked to our house?”

“We talked about prom,” Celeste informed, exchanging a look with Drew. From the glint in their eyes, I knew it was something more than that.

“And?” I urged and they shook their heads, refusing to say more. Letting out a sigh, I lifted my brows, “Then why did you take me on this grand escapade?”

“To buy Jasper time to get here,” Drew answered smoothly, “Plus, it was a good trip down memory lane.”

“You two are ridiculous!” I groaned, tugging on my hair in frustration.

“Are we the ones who are ridiculous right now?” they fired back, “It’s a simple yes or no question on whether you’ll go to that freshman program or not.”

My lips slowly turned down into a frown and Drew gave me a slight push towards Jasper’s direction, giving me an encouraging nod. Stiffly letting my feet walk forward, I forced a smile when I finally got to him.

Jasper lifted his phone and then nudged his head to subtly point towards my brother, “Any reason why they called me up here?”

My hand that was gripping the envelope lifted up so I could hand it to him. He understood the message and took it, reading the words printed on paper, “I already know about this, Savannah.”

“And I’m going,” I muttered softly, partially hoping that he didn’t hear it. Unfortunately, he did, and his head snapped up with his mouth hanging wide in shock.

Oh come on, he should have known that I was seriously considering it.

He handed me back the envelope and sunk back down on the bench. I blinked down at him, my hands fidgeting as I tried to collect the right words, “I’m still considering, I mean, one word from you and I won’t go.”

For heaven’s sake, Savannah, stop being one of those girls who will change her whole life around because of one stupid boy.

But the thing is, this boy isn’t stupid and I’m starting to be one of those girls.

“Do you seriously think that I’m going to be that jerk who stops his girlfriend from having this great opportunity just because he doesn’t want her to go?”

I don’t know what I’m thinking. It’s like a part of me is silently hoping that he’ll beg me to stay, to say that he needed me, like he was going to miss in our time apart. Then there’s this other part that is asking him to let me go, because I this will look amazing for my grades. This really confusing, but hey, I’m a woman.

Sitting on the bench beside him, I sighed, recalling the words Celeste said to me earlier, “Picture yourself four years from now,” I finally got what she was trying to imply, “What do you see?”

I missed the point earlier, but it was like a test, if I saw Jasper there, then that means that I really want to be with him, if I didn’t, then it’s a blurry future.

“I hate doing that,” he mumbled, my idea going down the drain. I stared at him dumbly for his refusal of the action as he opened his mouth to explain, “I’m not good at keeping promises, Savannah, that’s why I rarely make them.”

“How’s that related to this?” I asked, my brain getting jumbled, trying to grasp what was happening.

“Because if I close my eyes and picture myself, it’s like I’m promising myself to an image that my present self is conjuring up,” he said, “And I know for one thing is that I want you to be there.”

Oh gosh, that was enough for my whole mind to be cleared and allow a rushing sense of adoration directed to the boy in front of me.

He took my hand and pressed a soft kiss to it, “I’m not going to promise you anything, because it might just hurt us both.”

There goes the relief and comes in a new set of doubts.

It’s like he indirectly told me that our relationship wouldn’t last. He implied that he had no confidence that we could make this work. The insecurities and fears came into my mind, and I had to fight the quick urge to slap my hand onto his mouth, just for him to stop adding more to this horrible ordeal.

“But I promised to be with you, didn’t I?” he told me, attempting to soothe me, “Please, let that be enough.”

“Can you at least promise me one other thing?” I requested, staring up at him, “Promise you’ll try to make this work.”

I expected this to turn just like any other puppy love romance where he’ll blindly say yes. Heck, even I know it’s difficult, but I was hanging by a thread right here.

When he shook his head, my hand dropped from his grasp, “It’s like I promise to stab as both. We’re not Romeo and Juliet.”

My mouth refused to say any more words, for one thing, I couldn’t handle it. Was there a future beyond college for this relationship or is this just some high school romance that I’ll be able to tell my children in the future and warn them to never go through it?

Due to Celeste and Drew, I had a bit of hope that we will last. I was silently praying that I ended up like my brother, that even when Celeste came anxious about everything, as she had told me, all Drew did was assure her that they’ll stay together.

But apparently, I don’t have a Drew, I have a Jasper.

“If that’s the way you think…” I trailed off, looking down to my shoes, “How about a trial period?”

This was more of a way to clear my mind. He was silent and I still refused to meet his eyes, fearing what I would feel when I do, “Let’s pretend we’re not together for a while.”

It was a training ground, since if he’s not willing to fight, then I have to shine my armor myself.

“Are we breaking up?”

Shaking my head, I denied whatever he was thinking, “Just to see what it feels like. I mean, we’re still going to be friend, but we’re just going to act like we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend.”

And we’re back to square one.

He seemed to understand what I was trying to say and he nodded. Sucking in a deep breath, he jammed his hands into his pockets, “Alright.”

“Alright,” I forced a smile, that word just reminds me of so many things, “Shall we head home?”

What I’m doing is to make sure the blow wouldn’t be too hard. Because as I understand it, we’re going downhill.

No holding hands, no kisses, not even a single touch as we walked back to our houses. A simple wave was all our goodbye.

I walked past Celeste who came back with Drew while Jasper and I were talking. Before she could even ask how it went, I ran upstairs and locked myself inside my bedroom. I closed my curtains and I laid on my bed, biting my lip as I was internally cursing myself inside my head.

“Stupid Savannah,” I whispered to myself, “Why did you have to let yourself fall for Jasper?”

Perhaps that was the only time I came close to crying my eyes out for a boy.

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Hey there guys, I'm going to be quick since it's right about twelve in the morning. So thank you so much for being supportive and of course, patient with me, and here you go. Who said that I will create a straight path for these two?

I graduated last Saturday, so yeah, that happened. Can't say I'm actually fully happy since I have so many regrets, but at the same time, I'm feeling great, because it's a reminder that I've been with you guys for quite some time now.

Question: What do you think of Savannah's "trial period" and why did Jasper refuse to make the promise?

I freaking love you guys, because come on, if I was my own reader, I would have been one impatient thing. Comment, vote and follow, and I'll see you all next chapter.