So, this is what it feels like...

I surged forward, raising my hands to hold his face. Robin's body went rigid, but the way he drew a soft breath told me I was right. Even with all his frustrated looks and angry rambling, I had read him correctly. He confirms this again by moving closer, making me tilt my head back for a split second, then pulling his lips from mine. 

It's done so slowly that the memory of his touch is impressed on my every nerve. His forehead hovers above my own. The idea of dividing fully from one another seems impossible, and unable to resist the fluttering's in my stomach at the realization, I smiled giddily. I just kissed Robin.

Lifting my eyes to meet his makes the world tilt. He stares at me like I've told him a secret, like I've... Well, there's no real point in similes. Is there? 

Robin is staring at me like I've just kissed him, when we both know, I wasn't supposed to.

"Sorry... I know you're upset, but I couldn't help it." I grinned sheepishly at him, a little too pleased with myself to be shy. He furrows his eyebrows like he doesn't know what I'm talking about, so I help him remember by saying, "I'll be more careful when eating. I promise."

As if it was a lifetime ago, Robin recalls that he was just giving me the lecture of the century on the dangers of my chewing habits. In fact, Robin seems to remember everything that has happened these last few minutes-- the last few months--and he sobers. His lips part as if the information alarms him, and he does battle with his thoughts before looking down and taking a deep breath.

"You," He whispers, so softly it's almost inaudible. Then he clears his throat and speaks clearly, "Leah, what about certain distances? The line?"

My eyes drift to my hands resting on his cheeks, and I have the urge to trace his cheekbone with my thumb.

"The line?" I echo, and he glances up. We hold each other's gaze as I shake my head softly, "Can I tell you the truth about the line?"

Robin nods, and I can see a profound want pour into his expression. Nodding back, I explain determinedly, "The line keeps your career safe from scandal, and me from being maimed by Maizy Barker in tabloids. Without it, this project becomes something else entirely... and we stand to lose everything. It's our parachute."

He exhales. Stepping back, he runs his palms down his face as if they'll sober him up. "Okay...So, we accept the facts. Follow the plan and pretend nothing happened. We'll call this an accident or research--"

"Robin," I place my hand to his chest and press on his heart. His eyes flash to it, then darken at my touch, and he swallows hard. My soul blazes white-hot as I stress the next sentence.  "It's also completely imaginary."

The meaning of my words hits him. I feel my heart jump, it grinds against my ribs and flutters against my lungs. The momentum of my honesty gives me courage to say, "What just happened, that kiss, could never be called research, because we both know it wasn't. Just like we both know it wasn't research at the motel, on the drive over here... or last night."

When I linger on those last words, Robin flinches in confirmation. So, I was right about that too.

"I also think you know what I mean when I say there is no line. Not really." Moving closer and making a point of recovering the distance he created, I murmur softly, "And even if it did exist, don't you think it's time we both faced the real facts and crossed it?"

Robin closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowing down as if pained and relieved at the same time, "Leah."

"I've tried denying it. Me, more than anyone, has tried to keep whatever this is at arm's length. But this weekend--just now, when you got so upset with me over not chewing my food-- I knew."

"Unless you're absolutely sure of what you're about to say," Robin interrupts, "Don't continue." 

It's a tone I haven't heard from him before, and the low serious sound of his voice is enough to make me stop. 

Robin's eyes peer intensely into mine, and he exhales tightly against his words as if they are smothering him, "Leah, I left the room last night because I realized if I said all the things I wanted to in that moment, If I did all the things I wanted to do...our chances of being work friends would disappear." 

"Work-Friend-Robin is the actor on this project, and if you want him around, he must do his job at a friendly distance. That includes compartmentalizing what just happened as nothing and forgetting it." His voice goes rough, as if saying it out loud went against everything he truly felt. "But say that kiss meant something... and there's no more pretending for me. I can't go past a certain point-- this point-- with you and still be him." 

Seeing the surprise on my face, his voice softens, and Robin shakes his head, "If you take this any further, we won't come back from it... I won't come back from it." 

Steeling up all my courage and unmasking the truth that has been dying to escape me for the last few weeks, I move closer. Robin scans my face, all the muscles in his jaw tensing as I inch in. 

You're risking everything. You could be risking his happiness for yours... 

The voice in my head warns me and I hesitate. Nearing his lips, I glance at his eyes. They watch me cautiously, seeing my pause, but deep inside there is a glimmer of hope. Had I any worries, they would have been soothed by that sincere expression in a heartbeat. But I never had any real doubt when it came to Robin... I just had honesty, trust, dependability, and friendship. 

Even when I didn't know him, when he was a face in a convenience store, I grasped on to him and refused to let go because I knew he was the one. Since meeting him, he has shown me more of myself than I could've imagined. Since liking him... He has shown me more of love than I thought sensible. No matter what happened between us in this moment, there was no going back. And, for once, I didn't need to retreat. I wanted to keep going. 

Remembering what he said to me outside my apartment after I pushed him away, I smiled faintly. Then I whispered, "Well, we made it this far, partner."

 A ghost of a smile tugs at his lips, and those hazel eyes begin to shine like sunlight on water. 

My other hand falls on his chest, and I express with all my might, "and I don't want to quit now... So, cross the line, and we can kiss in this parking lot despite the risks." We both start grinning, and I chuckle, "Like normal people."  

Robin steps into me, takes my head in both of his hands, and crushes his lips to mine.

Everything stops, so that we might begin. 

It's not like my kiss at all. There's nothing impulsive or unplanned about the way Robin pushes me into the side of the truck. His body falls against mine, lining up so closely that I gasp. His hands tilt back my head as he pulls away, only to press kisses, each one burning more than the last, to my mouth. It's an overwhelming sensation-- like falling and flying at the same time-- and I know if it weren't for the truck behind me, I would drop without delay.

So many things flash across my mind, from the first time we met to last night.

Had I written this moment in the novel, I would have made it about the kiss... about how his lips felt (soft and warm), the color of his skin when it was sun kissed (divine), the way he smelled (like baseball gloves, soap, and red dirt), and the sensation his hands rising to caress my cheeks provided (gravity defying). All the things I supposed were the only fundamental components of a romantic kiss.

But the minute Robin kissed me, I knew romance wasn't a roster of elements to check off. Romance was finding the essence of the person you love in all things. The feel of his lips only enters your mind because you know how often they have parted to laugh with you, the colors of his skin sets you on fire because its brushed yours an infinite amount of times, his hands are gravity defying because they consistently held you up, and his smell only enhances the moment because you realize how often you've found yourself smiling the minute it drifts into the room. 

It wasn't about the kiss; it was about kissing him. 

The sureness of his touch coaxed me out of my swoon, and before I knew it, I was reaching for him too. Fisting his shirt in my hands, I tugged to pull him closer to my height. Robin curved over me instantly, one of his hands leaving my face to trail down my arm and grasp my hip. My stomach flipped as his fingers dug into the belt of my jeans, securing me against him. I sigh out an approving moan in response. He makes a low noise at the back of his throat that nearly ends me, but the kiss softens. Robin gives one more lingering caress before slowly drawing back. 

When my gaze finds his, my breath hitches, and Robin blinks. His eyes scan my expression before snagging on something behind me. Then they widen considerably, "Um..."

Whirling around I saw AJ through the windshield, standing slack jawed and staring right at us. He was holding a dripping Ziplock bag of ice in his hand.

"Oh my god!" I cried out. Covering my face, I pushed it into Robin's chest to hide.

AJ's voice boomed over the parking lot, "Don't you hide! I saw that!"

Robin tucked me in closer and turned us around so that his back was facing AJ. His hand held my head as he burst into embarrassed laughter, "Oops."

I cringed to my core, shaking my head as if it would push AJ gaping at us out of my head.

"And you thought he didn't like you!" AJ whoops from his spot, "HAH! Deny it now dumbass! DENY. IT. NOW. That's what I'm talking about! You're freaking welcome!"

-----

We arrived at my parents' house after stopping by the urgent care. Robin was concerned that all the blood rushing to my face after seeing AJ might cause a stroke. So, after taking the ice from AJ for my head, we stopped by the doctor, where I got care instructions for my throat and a clean bill of health. Then we pulled into the driveway a little after 5pm. My family was already inside, no doubt getting all the details from AJ and waiting to smirk at the two of us ruthlessly through the rest of the weekend. 

Sitting in the truck, I listened to the engine idle. A bittersweetness came over my heart at the thought of getting out. Sentimentality wrapped itself around my mind like a dream I was starting to wake up from, and I sighed heavily. 

The noise gained Robin's attention, who was staring out the windshield at the garage door in silence. His eyes traced over me, a new sort of expression taking root in them, and he gave an upside-down smile, "Ready?" 

Shaking my head, I dropped my eyes to my lap where my hands were laying. Twisting my fingers, I took another deep breath and tried to soak in the last of these untainted feelings, "I don't want to get out. I don't want to..." My face starts to flush at the girlish thoughts in my mind, but I force myself to say it out loud, "be with anyone else but you. At least for a little while longer." 

He hummed an understanding chuckle, and I heard him move in his seat. The next thing I knew he was shifting the truck into reverse and rolling down the driveway. My eyes shot over at him, and I watched his smile deepen. "I forgot something, we have to go get it." 

"You forgot something?" I furrowed my eyebrows, "What? Where?" 

The tires hit the road and he turned the wheel before putting it into the next gear. Robin pulled my hand from my lap, and accelerated away from the house, using both our hands to shift. He flashed his teeth at me, almost shyly and his eyes twinkled, "Anything we can think of...anywhere you want." 

My lips parted in a luminous grin, and I laughed in utter joy.

So, this is what it feels like. 

----

Hellloooooo lovelies!!!

OMG I am sitting at the coffee shop and doing my darndest not to SQUEAL right now!!!  My babies are finally together :,>

I honestly wrote and rewrote this chapter 7 times because the balancing act of emotions was so intense. They had a few different impressions of what happened, and believe me, we tried them all out ahaha! Thankfully, Leah and Robin really talked to me these last couple of days and told me how it really went. And odikfapsdjfhasdlfa fkdjfa;sldkfasdihfa s

MY HEART. 

Anyway, I am so sorry for taking so long to bring you another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Also, a deep thank you to my new followers!! I am so happy to have your company and hope you like reading my works! 

Reasearch: Romance has blossomed into such a fun story for me, and I want to express sincerely how grateful I am for all the support!! <3 

Have a lovely weekend and prepare for some new chaos in the next chapters! I am going to go and let my fingers fly to write them now!! :) 

With lots of giddy love, 

e.g.