It's the first of November. Robin and I sit shoulder to shoulder at the conference table while Drew paces the front of the room. Even his cool demeanor is becoming agitated by the deadline. His fingers click to the next slide, and he gestures to more publicizing strategies we could do to promote my book as well as improve Robin's image.

Henry chimes in occasionally, leaning against the wall at the furthest corner in the room. It's also the furthest point from Desi, who is reclining against her seat with a little too much nonchalance for it to be natural. It looks more like she's trying to slowly slide under the table.

Despite my every attempt to make her face Henry after their kiss, Desi absolutely refused to turn back. So, she did what any emotionally unstable woman in her late twenties would do when faced with guy problems... She turned up.

Predictably, the bottom of the bottle held no answers, and now she had two headaches: One from the wine and the other from Henry's burning glare drilling into the back of her skull for the last hour. The tension the two of them produce alone is enough to set the rest of us on edge.

Robin leans forward, brushing my shoulder as he does, "When do we start promotions? If it starts too soon, we won't have time to do the project, interviews, and start filming."

Drew nods, eyes skimming over the slides. His deep brown eyes hesitate over the text on the screen, before he shakes his head, "I can push back most of the promos for the film, but you are part of the book promotions too. There's a lot to consider."

Then Drew's eyes are settling on me, "How far are you?"

All heads turn to me, and I swallow. I was halfway through the first rough draft, but that was like saying I was halfway up Everest. Not even that, I was halfway across the parking lot to Everest.

That is if Mount Everest has a parking lot.

"I'm almost done with the first draft..." I drift off, knowing what I am about to say isn't going to be helpful. "But we can't afford it to be a failure. I need all the time you can give me."

Desi pulls herself out of the pit of despair to comment, "We can't delay the release date, but we can get by with teasers until it is out. Still..."

As if he can pick up her exact line of thinking, Henry comments from behind us, "Maizy Barker is going to make sure it's impossible for us to accomplish everything. There will barely be time for you to sleep when shit hits the fan."

Henry notices Desi looking his way and swallows something down. She turns her head toward the desk, and he rips his eyes back to Drew who is nodding with Henry's every word, "As scary as that all may sound, Leah is right. The priority is the book. Focus on writing. We'll handle the rest."

"What can I do?" Robin interjects, looking between Desi, Drew, and Henry. "I mean, I have some time now. I can help--"

"You do nothing." Drew points his finger at Robin, "I don't want to see your face, hear your name, or see you breathing anyone's air until this movie is out."

Robin opens his mouth to protest but Drew cuts him off, "Ah! No, I don't want to hear it! You exist in two places with two people and that's with me." He points to himself before pointing to me, "And her. That's it."

Dejected, Robin slouches back against his chair and grumbles to himself. Meanwhile Drew moves on to the next topic of business. "Alright, next. Co-stars."

At the mentioning of co-stars, anxiety begins it's slow trickle into my chest. I clear my throat to combat it as Desi furrows her eyebrows at Drew, "We have no power over who the co-star will be."

"Leah has more power than you think." Drew gestures to me, "She'll be the top consultant on the film."

He turns and points to the screen where pictures of beautiful actresses are displayed. Two of them are A-list actresses, who would take extra arrangement to hire. The other is a B-List actress who isn't as well-known but has an outstanding reputation for her dramatic films.

Hiring someone off the beaten path could be exactly the publicity move we needed. Nevertheless, my stomach starts to turn the longer I look at them.

My heartbeat jumps and that little voice in my head whispers contemptuously: Fake or not---could you stand to watch Robin fall in love? Can you sit behind a camera and direct her every move and watch him react...knowing their words, their touches, their expressions are just thinly veiled representations of your thoughts? One wrong move and he'll know. You'll ruin everything. You've already started to.

I take a long drink from the water bottle in front of me.

"Maizy will do everything in her power to put someone controversial in the role. If we get ahead of it, and have Leah choose the co-star in advance--"

"Then she has control over the narrative." Robin nods, looking at the screen carefully as if assessing his options. Then his eyes fall on me, and it feels as if I'm going to vibrate out of my skin. "Anyone stand out?"

Forcing my eyes back to the slide, I dig my fingernails into my palms. My heart seems like its clasping every artery and vein shut. The voice of reason shows when I need her most: Detach from the feeling and answer the question, Leah.

My reply is choked, "We should go with the actress on the left. Louisa Richmond. She's not an A list actress, so she'll be more affordable and easier to hire with short notice. Plus, it will make the story seem more realistic if the main character is played by a lesser-known actress."

Drew beams at me, and the pride in it almost eases the pains in my chest, "My thoughts exactly!"

Offering Drew a tight smile in reply, he goes on about getting in contact with the actress's agent. Every word winches me closer to my seat and my skin feels too tight.

Glancing up, I notice Desi's eyes are on me. Despite her sunglasses, I can feel them boring into every detail of my expression. Tucking my chin down, I pivot away from her. Except when I do, I sense a second pair of eyes is burning into the side of my face.

Robin's gaze meets mine. The feelings I'm having must be all over my face because his eyebrows furrow slightly in question, and he leans toward me. Before I realize it, I've shot up out of my seat. Everyone stares at me and blood rushes in my ears.

"Can we take five?" I gasp.

Before Drew can say anything, I rush out of the conference room.

---

Drew's office building is large, and the layout is complicated, so it takes me a minute to find the ladies room. Once I do, I stash myself in a stall and breathe while tapping each shoulder.

One...two...three...again. One...

After a while, the adrenaline and stress start to weaken as my nervous system switches controls. A flush of calm washes over me. Burying my face in my hands, I focus on the stillness and quiet for a long time.

Once I feel like I'm in a steadier place, I stand up and shake out my arms. Bouncing lightly in the stall I try to stretch and shake it off as well as I can.

"Okay, it's okay." I whisper to myself, stretching my shoulders and neck. "Just a little anxiety. No big deal. You're okay."

Sighing, I smooth my hair back down and unlatch the door. Crossing to the sink, I splash freezing water over my arms. Each rinse calms me down, and my eyes snag on my reflection.

Everything feels woozy, and I stare into my own eyes as if they'll ground me. The only thing that stares back at me is the fixed truth: That moment in the motel with Robin was backfiring.

"He's an actor. He will have co-stars his whole life. This shouldn't be a surprise." My voice sounds steadier as I walk through it.

My mind flows in a stable direction, and I exhale. "So, you have feelings? So what? You're a professional. You are together for the book and the book only. Don't complicate things."

Except the part where he said it wasn't for the book... He held you. And you let him. You like him.

Taking another patient breath, I close my eyes tightly and say with every ounce of my conviction, "They're just feelings. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Once I say it enough times to believe it, I open my eyes and give the mirror a fist bump. Then I walked out of the bathroom resolved and reoriented.

Wanting to feel cohesive before walking into the confrence room, I take a moment to smooth out my clothes. A phone rings to the side of me, but it's silenced before I hear shuffling. Someone clears their throat and I look up from adjusting my shirt.

When I raise my eyes, he smiles at me and it's as familiar as the face I had just been staring at in the mirror.

"Hey," He speaks softly, his tone just as warm and pleasant as I remember. Before I know it, I feel as if It's freshman year, and I am standing in the wrong dormitory again.

Nothing to be afraid of, huh?

Levi chuckles awkwardly. "I really hope you're staring like that because you're surprised." When I still don't respond, he shifts on his feet. "Do you remember me?"

"Of course." The words fall inaudibly, like a feather sinking to the floor. It's a miracle he heard them.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" Despite the smile he's holding, Levi's eyebrows drop down in a wince.

"Because..." I trail off, dropping my eyes to my shoes.

He's able to read the meaning of my silence, and nods. Before I know it, Levi is hesitantly moving forward, "I'm happy to see you, Leah. Really happy."

Pulling my eyes from the floor, I break into a little smile. Levi grins before opening his arms and offering me a hug. Just like that, all the fears of the past fade in a moment. I wrap my arms around him.

When I step back, I wipe his jacket where a few of my tears have stained the fabric. Getting it together, I laugh, "Sorry, I'm a crier lately!"

"Don't worry about it." He shakes his head. Our eyes lock again, and I take another step back. Levi is still smiling so kindly; it hurts as much as it heals to see it pointed at me again. He widens his eyes excitedly, "So? How are you? What are you up to?"

Oh, same old. Just spiraling into emotional chaos. Yourself?

I laugh again, too shocked to do anything else. "Me? Forget me! -- How are you?!" I gestured to his suit and the laptop case he's holding, "This is all very professional. Why are you here?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. Then Levi gestures to his clothes as if he's surprised to see them on his body as well, "I'm good. I, uh, I work here. Surprisingly enough!"

An old grin seizes my lips, "I thought you said you'd die before working in a place like this?"

"Grim reaper must be lying in wait then, huh?" He jokes quietly, then rolls his eyes at himself. "It wasn't my first choice, but they kept me on after internship. I'm in the IT department. Plus..."

Levi drifts off, his smile faltering a bit before he clears his throat, "Plus the benefits! Dental and eye coverage, if you can believe it."

Despite his attempt to backtrack, I don't miss the way he subconsciously touches his left hand. A wedding band is wrapped around his ring finger. I point to it, "You got married?"

He sobers a bit at this. Looking at his hand, he nods, "Um, yeah. Last year. She works here so..."

I mean it with my entire soul when I tell him, "I am happy for you, Levi. I'm sure she's wonderful! You deserve someone amazing."

Levi watches me for a moment, and I see it all come back. The hurt, the lies, the multiple attempts at repairing what we had. Still, he manages to give me a humble smile before nodding his head. There's something in it that makes my heart sink, and I almost leave it at that. But there's something else he wants to say.

So, I wait, hoping he says exactly what I deserve to hear: My life got better after college. Or Things turned around for me after you. Even something more Levi, like: She's great. I think you would get along. Would have been enough. Anything that told me he was doing well and found happiness.

He shoves his hand into his pocket and brushes his short hair back with the other before whispering, "Yeah she is. She's great... but" He trails off, and says even quieter, "She... wasn't my first choice either."

Levi looks at me deeply, and I feel the tears burning the back of my throat again. Except this time, they aren't from any kind of relief. Everything I don't deserve is in that look and we both know it. There is no amount of time or kind smiles that could make me forget.

When he realizes what he's done, Levi's eyes widen, and he clears his throat. Then he shakes his head, closing his eyes in remorse, "I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why... I'm sorry, Leah. That wasn't right."

Swallowing hard, he watches as I take a step back. He looks devastated by it, and it strikes me to the core. Even now. Even still after all this time, I'm causing him pain. He stretches out his hand to stop me, "Leah, wait. Don't leave. I'm sorry--"

"I think I should go." I smile, but it only makes the tears on my waterline shake. When I laugh this time, it sounds ruined, "But it was good to see you again. I-- I wish you the best."

Levi doesn't stop me when I turn and walk away. I feel his eyes on me as I leave, and I hasten to duck behind the corner. When I take the bend, my head down and eyes too blurry to see, I crash right into Robin.

"Whoa!" His hands take the sides of my shoulders, steadying me.

Grief hits all at once, and I turn my head away from him to hide the tears. My face crumples and I worm out of his grasp to pass in the gap between him and the wall. But Robin doesn't move aside for me to leave. He holds me there, watching with concern. I feel those hazel eyes blazing at me, trying to see my face. I force myself to glance at him.

He sees everything and his worried expression alters in an instant. All at once he's rushing toward where I left Levi.

Throwing up my hands I pushed his chest, "Wait, Robin. Don't. It's okay."

"He made you cry." He rumbles, eyes aimed dead ahead.

"I made me cry." I correct firmly and push on him a little more to take a step back. He gives in reluctantly. Then I realized what he had said and asked sharply, "Were you listening?"

Robin drags his eyes away from the corner to look at me, "I came check on you after—"

"Were you listening?" I cut him off. The tears on my cheeks itch as they dry. The mix of emotion and adrenaline is enough to make me upset.

Impulsivity rises to the surface, making the panic in me flare. I want to run out of the building and scream in the elevator. I want a second to get my thoughts together without bumping into something that will mess them up again.

He looks resolved, but I can't read him clearly enough to know why. Robin speaks clearly, slowly even, "I heard him apologize and you say goodbye."

My shoulders release instantly, and I sigh in relief. Robin, however, is far from relaxed, "What happened back there? We've looked everywhere for you."

I knew he meant Henry and Desi, and my stomachache only grows worse thinking of those two.

"You shouldn't have." I wipe my face and tuck my hair behind my ears to stop it from sticking to my cheeks. "I just needed a minute. I'm okay now, let's just finish the meeting."

"If you're okay, then I'm Anthony Hopkins." He challenges me sternly, eyes burning into mine as he gestures to my current state.

It does earn a little laugh from me, and I sniff back my runny nose, "You would choose Anthony Hopkins."

Though I try to make it sound light, it falters. I don't have it in me to really banter or face what happened. I don't have anything but two open wounds, both of which feel identical. Thinking of Levi and Robin at the same time makes me well up again. It's too similar. Everything about this moment feels like my skeletons are jeering me.

That ugly voice starts whispering again, and I want to push my head under water. Turning my head away again, I swiped at any escaped tears, desperately begging them to stop.

"Oh, Leah..." Robin whispers gently as he tilts up my chin. He scans my face anxiously, eyes softening.

"No." I moved away, flinching like that small touch was scalding hot. We both watched in shock as I stared at his hand, still extended out to me. If there was a time to assert boundaries it would be now.

Looking at Robin, I shake my head softly, "I mean, please don't. That makes it worse."

His eyebrows furrow, and Robin slowly lowers his hand. "Why?"

"Because it's--" I fumble for the words. Tell him. My brain goads me to my furthest point. Go on. Tell him how you ruin everything! Do it. "--Because it's confusing! It's too confusing."

Robin's expression morphs into surprise, and he blinks. My throat feels raw and tight. Every neuron in my brain fires, reminding me of how stupid it was to let the motel happen. How much trouble I could get him in just by being careless. Even now, anyone could walk by and see us. All it would take was a photo with his hands on my face and he would be ruined. Everything would be ruined.

I steady my voice, making it closed and calm, "I've been careless. We need boundaries. No more flirting, no more dirty jokes... and no more touching."

Alarmed by my words, Robin straightens. Before he realizes it, he steps forward. Except this time, he catches himself. Slowly, he retreats into his own space. Concern laces his every word, "Is this about what happened the other night?"

Then Robin lowers his voice into a serious tone. Every word hangs on me, "Leah, if you're upset over what happened, I'm sorry---"

I shook my head, quick to stop him from placing the blame on himself. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just, I'm..." He stops, waiting for me to finish, but I can't. Not without giving everything away. "It's just that, we're business partners and I think we should keep it that way. Nothing more nothing less."

I shake my head, feeling as if it's about to implode. "I know I said it was okay, and at the time it was, but—It can't happen again. Everything. All of it. It can't happen again."

His expression shifts on a dime, and Robin echoes me, "Business partners?"

I nod, "Yes."

"No more no less?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

Now he's the one who sounds upset, and Robin is holding my gaze as if the connection between us is the only thing that matters. His eyes search mine persistently, looking for something in me I don't know how to find.

I'm too focused on what he said. That single "really?" held so many meanings, and I don't know how to navigate them all. I don't know how to sort through anything when I'm feeling like this and he's looking at me like that. I'm missing something, I'm making a mistake, but I don't know how.

So, I do the only thing I can. I break eye contact and swallow down the "no, not really" rising in my throat.

"...Yes."

Unable to see his face, all I can do is watch his pointer finger digging into the side of his thumb. When my words hit, his fingers fall limp. There's no more warmth to Robin's voice, and the concern has turned into calm acknowledgement, "Okay...If that's what you think needs to happen, I understand."

The minute he says it I realize my mistake. Business partners. No more no less.

As in no longer friends. No longer Leah and Robin.

Robin backs away, tucking his hands in his front pockets. My eyes shot up at him, and I opened my mouth to salvage the situation. But when I meet his eyes, I falter. He watches me struggle for it, sees that I've realized my error, but he doesn't wait. A friend might have, but a business partner doesn't have that sort of instinct.

He looks over me once more, granting a few extra seconds of grace for me to get my shit together and apologize. When I can't... When I fail...I watch those hazel eyes turn away in disappointment.

----

Hello Lovelies!

These two put the "STOP THAT" in DRAMA.

The whole time I was writing this, I was like "What? That can't happen! No! I don't want that!"

They simply nodded at me, solemnly. "It happened."

So.... here we are. Bummer city: population me.

What did y'all think of Levi? I admit, he surprised me too. Like dude, the timing, come on now!

In any case, I know this has been a bit of a longer chapter so rest your eyes after reading it ahaha! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this story! Stick around to see what happens next and hope for some resolution between everyone <3

Please vote, comment, and share!!

With all my love,

e.g.