My feet flew after Robin as he tore down the sidewalk at a lethal pace. The minute he saw a building resembling a coffee shop, he threw the door open and dashed us inside. The barista looked at us alarmed before welcoming us in. 

I waved a friendly hello at him, all while Robin was weaving through the tables toward the back of the cafe where the restroom signs were hanging. The barista's face scrunched up, and he threw up an "okay?" signal at me.  

Nodding emphatically, I gave him a thumbs up, "We just really have to pee! It's an emergency. Be right there!" 

The barista's mouth formed an "O" and he nodded, "Order when you're ready." 

By the time he said this to me, Robin and I were already by the bathrooms. Of course, saying I had to pee reminded me that I did, and so I stepped toward the ladies room. However, Robin has other ideas, and is tugging my arm in the opposite direction. Before I know it, I'm standing in the men's room. 

"Robin!" I exclaim, throwing my hands over my eyes. "What are you doing?!" 

There's a second where I hear him checking the stalls before I feel a finger tap my shoulder. I let my hands drop, scanning the room wearily before meeting his gaze. 

"We need to talk. Right now." 

"Why can't we do that outside the bathrooms?" I gestured to the urinals not three feet away from us.

"Sorry," He pulls in a deep breath, and steps back to pace the length of the room. It takes a moment, but Robin eventually regains his composure. The frantic look on his face starts to melt away when he says, "I needed somewhere private and panicked." 

"Okay. Talking. Let's talk--- what happened back there?" Unable to pretend my lungs aren't about to burst from my chest a second more, I walk toward the sink. He watches me lift myself up on the rim and sit.

"Why are you on the sink?" He raises his eyebrow like that's the most bizarre part of this situation. 

"I'm out of shape." I admit, masking how winded I felt from running at his pace.

Note to self: do more cardio. 

 "And I'm certainly not sitting or leaning anywhere else in this room. Now, am I?" 

He thinks about it then nods, and steps toward me, "Okay, Caleb is a huge problem for many reasons, but let me just break them down really quick: 1. He's tortured me since high school. 2.He loves to tell horrifically embarrassing stories about me. 3.He thinks we're dating.  4.Everyone who knows we aren't dating will be there tonight. 5. He will tell them otherwise." 

"Okay..." I draw out, "That is a bit problematic, but it's not the end of the world. We can come up with a plan."

Robin barely registers my words, he's too busy pacing a trench in the tile, "Of course Drew set all this up. Every year I tell him no birthdays and every year...  I'm going to kill him." 

"Robin, take a breath." I held my hands up to calm him. This must be what Desi sees every time she talks me off the ledge. Do my eyes get that same edgy look? It's unnerving the way his pupils get all big and shaky. 

At the sound of my tone, Robin stops, closes his eyes, and inhales. 

I do the same thing, as if demonstrating for him how to calm down before saying, "We'll just pull Caleb aside, tell him we aren't dating, and he'll back off. Then, if he gets out of line, I'll help run interference for you all night. No big deal." 

"About that..." There's a pause and Robin looks squeamish when his eyes finally open meet mine, "Remember that favor you owe me?" 

"Yes?" I pulled back a bit. "Why?" 

Robin licks his lips, gnawing on the skin before squinting at me, "I'm cashing it in." 

---

We arrived at Robin's house just past 7:30, both dressed to impress and wearing our game faces. 

Parking the car in his garage the two of us stared blankly at the windshield. There were garage lights reflecting on the hood of the car, glaring into our eyes uncomfortably. It didn't stop us both from focusing on the nose of the car like it was the whiteboard containing the nights plan.

"Pretend to be my girlfriend." Robin had said, placing his hands on the sink as he came toward me. "Please, Leah. Just for tonight." 

At first, I didn't understand why. Well, that's not true. At first, I was dumbfounded by the proposal. Then I didn't understand. He was Robin Moore. A movie star and a celebrity! Why would he be worried about an old tormentor from high school?

That is until he revealed that Caleb Marsing wasn't just a tormentor, he was family. Caleb was married to Robin's cousin Sam, who made it her job to relay every detail of Robin's life back to her parents, who then used that information to torment Robin's parents. Since Sam and Caleb moved to the city, they have spread every public scandal, every mishap, and every nude scene in a movie... back to Robin's family. If it happened publicly, Caleb and Sam would be the first to tell everyone about it. Nothing was sacred.

Of course, they liked to embellish stories their way, instead of the way they really happened, and no one could contest them without ending in verbal gymnastics. Turns out when two elitist lawyers marry each other they become a power couple of tell-tales. Which did not bode well for us tonight if Maizy, the powerhouse of gossip showed up tonight.  

The only upside was they were effective lawyers, so secrets were their trade... and currency. 

"I know it's twisted, but he likes to think himself superior. So, if we let him in on something nobody else knows--" 

"He'll want to keep you in his debt by staying quiet." I deduce, nodding. 

Sounds like someone whose name starts with an "M" and rhymes with "crazy". 

"We need tonight to go without a hitch, and If Caleb thinks it's okay to open his mouth at that party..." Robin shudders, "Well, you saw what he's like."  

"Let me make sure I understand." I held up my hand, brain already swimming at the idea. "You want to pretend just for Caleb? Meaning, we'll have to find a way to be simultaneously dating and not dating while at the party tonight?"

Sure, we had pretended in therapy, and it wouldn't be all that hard to keep pretending considering every "coupley" thing we've done so far for the book. A little hand holding, a smile or flirty look at the proper moment... piece of cake. Still, fake dating? In a genuine situation? 

Either the writing gods had decided to smile benevolently upon me and this novel... or they were grinning in anticipation for a lightning bolt to strike my forehead. Either way, it was hard to trust that these things kept happening out of coincidence. I mean... 3 years of nothing and now I'm in the men's bathroom contemplating being Robin Moore's fake girlfriend for the night. 

That's the power of the lucky pen.

Robin winces, "Pretty much... But I'm working on a plan. If we time it right, then it will be fine."  

I want to refuse. My stomach roils and anxiety feels like cold hands settling around the back of my neck... But the desperate look on his face mixed with the unforgettable knowledge that he stuck beside me after I accidentally tricked him into a couples intimacy course the other day has me agreeing. 

Afterall, a deal is a deal. 

So, there we were, sitting in his garage a few hours later. My eyes dragged over to Robin as he looked over toward me. We both took deep breaths. 

He was wearing a tailored dark grey suit we had picked up from the dry cleaners and shiny black shoes from a men's formal wear store we found on the way. We both agreed it was best to get ready at my apartment, which was... strange to say the least. 

While Robin showered, I dug into my closet and found a black cocktail dress I had worn to a writer's mixer a while ago. It was simple, trimmed in white, and had a neckline that required a bra I hadn't worn in ages. However, the bodice still fit well, and the skirt draped nicely at the hips making it swish prettily every time I moved. Its effect made me feel confident in my ability to bamboozle Robin's cousin and a room full of strangers. Paired with some strappy heels and a whole lot of careful primping, I left looking elegant enough for a party. 

The faint smell of my body wash floating off Robin in the driver's seat reminded me of how we stood next to each other in the bathroom while he buttoned his cufflinks, and I touched up my lipstick. Halfway through application, however, I got distracted by his suit jacket tapering at the waistline, and the way the grey darkened his light-brown hair in the bathroom lighting. Robin caught my eyes in the mirror when I paused, smiled upside down, and handed me a piece of toilet paper to help me blot. Despite the distraction, I didn't leave the bathroom looking like a ritzy Joker. Thankfully. 

"Ready?" I asked, both of us staring at one another apprehensively. 

Robin nodded, raising his fist up between us. I bumped it with mine, and we both popped the car doors open.

What the hell---Fake dating trope here we come...

----

Hello lovelies!

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