A/N: Warning for strong language!

A few hours later Bellamy woke up, confused at first but then he realized where he was. He pulled away from the familiar body his arm was wrapped around and slowly sat up. He looked down at the sleeping girl and frowned when he noticed the dried blood on her face. Had he been the one to get her sick? He pushed the damp hair off of her forehead and his hand rested lightly on her head for a few moments as he stared down at her. For the first time in a while her face was relaxed, no nightmares plaguing her illness induced sleep. He pulled the blanket up a bit where it covered her completely and laid his hand on her shoulder as he watched her sleep.

Someone nearby clearing their throat pulled Bellamy from his trance and he turned to see Murphy standing there with a cup of water. "Here."

"Get the hell away from me." Bellamy replied, pushing the cup away from him.

"Bellamy, you're sick, okay? I'm just trying to help. Here." Murphy suppressed the groan he wanted to release and handed Bellamy the cup again.

Bellamy shifted away from the boy and closer to Jamie, moving to shield her body with his from Murphy's view. "When I get better, if you're still here..."

"Hey, I got this one." Clarke interrupted. Murphy nodded and backed away as Clarke sat down beside Bellamy. "Here."

He took the cup from her and after taking a drink turned to her with an arched brow. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah." Clarke's eyes briefly landed on Jamie and she smiled lightly when she noticed the blonde shift closer to Bellamy.

"That's good." Bellamy's eyes were on Jamie as he replied and he finally looked around the dropship before turning to Clarke. "Have you see Octavia?"

"She was up all night helping people. Murphy gave her a break."

Bellamy grimaced as he stared at the boy in question. "Don't tell me you trust him now."

"Trust? No. I do believe in second chances though. Something I learned from Jamie."

He nodded and shifted in his spot, glancing at her once more. "She get sick because of me?"

"No, I think she just pushed herself too hard. She has a habit of doing that." Clarke said, turning to Jamie. She pulled the blonde up and forced her mouth open, attempting to get her to drink, struggling with the task. Bellamy shifted and helped Clarke hold Jamie up. Jamie's head was dropped back against his shoulder as he held her and he couldn't help but smile as he watched Clarke force the water down her throat.

Once Clarke laid her back down she looked up to see Bellamy watching Jamie with a guarded expression. His expression softened as Jamie scooted even closer to him, as if she were drawn to him. He smiled at her before his gaze drifted around the dropship once more. Clarke grinned at the pair before tossing a damp wash cloth to Bellamy. He grabbed it and pulled Jamie up into his lap, gently scrubbing the blood from her face. A few moments of silence passed between them until Bellamy looked up at the dropship entrance.

"It's almost dawn. Better get everyone inside. If we lock the doors maybe the grounders will think we're not home."

Clarke arched a brow at him with a frown. "Not everyone is sick."

Bellamy shook his head and shrugged. "Sick is better than dead."

"You don't think Finn and Jasper are gonna pull it off?"

"Do you?" Bellamy's gaze was on the entrance of the dropship, eyes looking at the barely visible light coming in.

Clarke looked down at Jamie, feeling as if she had to put her trust in Jasper as Jamie would but the feeling of doubt overwhelmed her optimism. "I'll get everyone inside." She mumbled, climbing to her feet.

Bellamy watched her go before his eyes flickered back down to Jamie to find her watching him. He smiled lightly and shifted so she'd be more comfortable in his lap. "Hey, how you feeling?" He moved his hand up to gently brush her cheek with his thumb and it warmed under the contact.

She shrugged lightly before trying to pull herself into a sitting position. He wrapped his arm around her and helped her sit up and she smiled gratefully at him. "How are you? You look better." She reached up and trailed her thumb along his forehead, detaching his curls from his damp skin.

"I feel better. And that's thanks to you."

She blushed slightly and her eyes drifted to the entrance of the dropship. "They'll do it, ya know? Jasper may not look like much but he'll get it done."

"I want to believe that but if he doesn't we can't risk losing everyone." He spoke in a gentler tone than he usually used and Jamie knew he was just doing what he thought was best for everyone. She nodded and climbed to her feet.

"Whoa, where are you going? You shouldn't be up and moving around yet Jamie." He went around the cot and grabbed her arm, pulling her back slightly.

"I'm fine Bell. As a camp leader we can't miss what dawn will bring, sick or not." She continued on, his hand still grasping her arm as he followed her out. Clarke had already gotten a line of people moving to the dropship so Jamie and Bellamy stood to the side, watching as people made their way inside.

There was a large explosion then, a mushroom cloud bloomed over the tree line and there was a sigh of relief throughout the camp. "They did it." Bellamy mumbled, so quiet only Jamie could hear.

She smiled and nodded, eyes still focused on the cloud in the sky. "I am become death, destroyer of worlds." She mumbled as Clarke joined them and added, "It's Oppenheimer the man who built the first..."

"I know who Oppenheimer is." Bellamy remarked with a smirk. Jamie grinned up at him and leaned into him slightly as everyone in camp watched the cloud signaling their success; with Bellamy's hand lightly gripping her hip, it burned a hole through her the entire time.

A few hours later when Jamie was helping out in the dropship she heard someone yell, "There! It's them! Open the gate."

Jamie dropped what she was doing and ran outside to see Jasper and Monty walk in. Everyone around them clapped for the boys and she couldn't help the wide smile that appeared on her face. Both boys made eye contact with her and started towards her but she held her hand up signaling that they shouldn't come too close to her. They both stopped a few feet from her with small smiles. "You look a lot better." Monty told her, smiling at people as they walked by and yelled their congrats to the boys.

"I feel better, thank you. You guys did it. I knew you would." She spoke just loud enough for them to hear and they both blushed and shrugged like it was nothing. "Don't let it get to your head." Jamie warned, somewhat jokingly. Her eyes flickered to the gate when Finn carried Raven in. Clarke had already approached the pair but Jamie needed to be there for Raven, the girl that had really become a friend to the blonde since she'd arrived. "I better go help with Raven, you guys enjoy this." Jamie smiled at the boys before joining Clarke, Raven, and Finn in the dropship.

After they got Raven situated in the hammock, Clarke and Finn stepped away to talk while Jamie sat by the unconscious mechanic. She could hear everything Clarke and Finn were saying and she couldn't help feeling bad for the pair. They were really struggling with their feelings for each other and yet here Raven lay, unconscious while her boyfriend that she loved argued with the other girl he loved. What a mess.

When Finn rejoined them Jamie smiled up at him and stood, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. "She's already getting stronger."

"Thank you Spunky." He smiled lightly at her and she nodded, glancing back down at Raven. "Be careful with her Space Walker."

His eyes widened marginally, her words sinking in, as her and Clarke retreated from the dropship. They slowly made their way to the gate and outside of it to the makeshift cemetery they had made. They both sank to the ground and rested against the wall, staring at the piles of dirt in front of them. They felt the loss of those in the graves as well as the two big ones not buried with them. They were both affected greatly by their mom and Charlotte's deaths and as they stared at the graves in front of them the weight of their deaths weighed down on both girls more than ever. Clarke dropped her head on Jamie's shoulder as her eyes stared down onto the graves. "How are we supposed to handle this Jaymes? How do we do this without mother? Even if someone comes down from the Ark...she won't be with them." Her voice cracked at the end and Jamie reached down to grab her hand.

"We'll figure it out. We always have." Jamie's eyes drifted down to what she could see of Clarke's face and noticed a few stray tears trickling down her cheeks. She reached up and brushed the tears away, kissing Clarke's head as she did.

"How did you get past father's death?" Clarke whispered, eyes closed.

Jamie shifted slightly to run her fingers through Clarke's hair and look down at the girl. "I had amazing people to help me through it. You, Jazz, Mon, it's not impossible. Just seems that way now. I'm here for you though anytime you want to talk about it."

"Thank you." Clarke mumbled.

"And...if you ever want to talk about Finn..."

Clarke's eyes opened and she looked up at Jamie with tears still in her eyes. "I love him, Jamie." She wiped away a few tears and shook her head. "What am I doing? I can't..." She sniffled and Jamie watched her carefully, her heart aching for the girl. "He has a girlfriend and I..." She groaned before she laid down and dropped her head into Jamie's lap, staring up at the girl that was a sister to her. "What do I do?"

Jamie brushed the hair off her face and shrugged. "You follow your heart. That's all you can do."

"I'm not strong enough for that." Clarke's voice broke and she clinched her eyes shut tightly at the admittance.

"Clarkey, you're stronger than you think. You have helped all of us survive and keep going. You have to have enough faith in yourself to know that you can do anything. I know you can. Whatever you think you need to do, I'll be there to support you."

Clarke reached up and grabbed Jamie's hand. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. You've always been there for me even when I didn't deserve it."

Jamie smiled down at her and shrugged lightly. "You always deserve it. You've been there for me too..." Clarke shifted and used the wall to climb to her feet. "You staying out here for a bit?"

Jamie nodded, her eyes refocusing on the graves in front of her. "I'll be in soon." She stared blankly at the graves for several more minutes until someone dropped down beside her. She relaxed when his arm brushed against hers and the familiar set of chills ran through her body.

"You're outside of the wall without a gun."

"Fourteen graves." She replied quietly, staring at the graves.

"They thought we would all die." Bellamy replied, watching her reaction.

She looked up at him and smirked. "Yeah, guess you're right."

Bellamy sighed and leaned closer to her, dropping his head back against the wall, similar to hers. "We need to talk about Murphy."

Jamie's eyes shifted up to meet his again and she frowned as she spoke. "He was right about the bridge."

"We'll see." His eyes drifted back out to the graves as he continued on. "Octavia says the mountain men are pissed, whatever that means."

Jamie sighed and dropped her head to his shoulder as her eyes shifted to the graves. "I'd say it means we need as many soldiers as we can get."

"So, what, we have pardon power now?" His head rested on top of hers and he reached down to grab her hand. His voice was much gentler than she expected considering the topic they were discussing.

She laced her fingers through his and a soft smile appeared on her lips. "He saved me Bell."

"I know you've said that but...I just keep thinking about Charlotte."

"I don't think she was completely his fault." She pulled her head off his shoulder to look up at him. "I don't trust him fully but...he did save me. He risked everything to untie me and carry me out of there. He even volunteered himself to the grounders for me when they were about to kill me. I just...I can't just let him die now without a fight."

His eyes watched hers closely before he sighed and nodded, looking away from her. "What do we do about him?"

She sighed and dropped her head back to his shoulder. "It's hard running things."

He let out a sharp laugh while his thumb rubbed circles on the back of her hand. "Hey, um...listen..." He cleared his throat nervously before continuing. "Octavia told me about the girls you saw in my tent and I just wanted to..."

"You don't have to say anything." She said, interrupting him. The last thing she wanted was for things to get weird between them.

"I want to. I'm sorry that it happened and that you saw what you did. It wasn't my intention to hurt you or anything. I just..." He sighed and let the sentence trail. "I needed a distraction."

Jamie arched a brow but kept her gaze on the graves. "From what?"

"From you. I've...I've just never..." He ran his free hand through his hair before shaking his head. He paused before continuing. "You don't have to say anything Jamie. That's not why I'm telling you. I just...I wanted to apologize for those girls."

"You don't have to apologize, Bell. It's okay." Her eyes shifted up to meet his once again and he nodded in response with a soft smile. She shifted closer to him and her eyes dropped to their hands. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." He replied quietly, eyes drifting down to their intertwined hands as well.

"Well, you're always up at night when I am...why?"

His eyes widened slightly and he cleared his throat before he replied. "I um...I have nightmares too. No one other than Octavia has ever known I get them but I always have."

Her cheeks warmed at his confession. "What are they about?"

He smiled lightly and rested his head against hers, both of them looking at the graves. He released her hand to wrap an arm around her waist and bring her closer to him. "I think they started when I was about nine. The most important thing in my life was Octavia, even then. To protect her, keep her a secret, it was my job to make sure no one found her and it completely terrified me. Like yours, it's the same thing every night. The guard finds her and takes our mother and her away and I'm left alone kicking myself for failing them."

"That was too much to put on you. You were just a little kid." Jamie whispered, pulling her head away from his to look at him.

His face was tense and his expression was neutral as he continued staring out at the graves. Her hands rested lightly on his leg, drawing patterns in the fabric although her eyes focused on him. "Apparently our mother didn't think so. Doesn't matter, I ended up failing them anyway. It was my fault that they found her. And you were there when it happened." His voice was husky as he spoke and Jamie had to take in a deep breath to clear her head so she could reply.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Octavia when we talked about this." She paused until his gaze met hers. "That wasn't your fault. You were trying to help her live for once, that's all. You had no idea that's what would happen. Even if you did know it was a possibility it was still a risk worth taking for a girl that lived the way she did. I admire your courage for doing what you did for her."

"I tried to do everything for her. I was the only family she really had since our mother worked so much." Bellamy admitted, his gaze shifting back to the graves.

She shook her head with a small sigh. "You know, family doesn't mean blood Bell. It never has for me. And down here she has me, Jasper, Monty, Clarke...the list goes on of people that love her. And that's because of you."

A moment passed before he smiled lightly at her and nodded. "I don't know how you make me feel better like you do." His free hand picked up a hand that rested on his leg and he intertwined their fingers as his other hand lightly gripped her hip, thumb lightly skimming the bare skin beneath her shirt. She sucked in a sharp breath when his warm skin met her bare skin and butterflies filled her stomach. She was hit with a barrage of emotions and she couldn't help but blush as lust quickly became the most prominent as she looked up at him.

Jamie calmed herself down before clearing her throat and replying. "I get lucky."

He let out a short laugh and nodded once more, dropping his head back on the wall.

They sat in silence for several minutes before she shifted closer to him. "What do you think is gonna happen to us?"

He arched a brow at her, waiting for her to continue. His usually chocolate colored eyes were much darker under the night sky and she could see lust shining in his gaze as well, reflecting her own.

"Well, if no one comes down from the Ark to help us...what will happen? We can't fight off the grounders forever."

He sighed and shook his head, still looking down at her. She had turned her gaze to the sky so it was easier for him to openly watch her and a small smile graced his lips as he did. "We'll figure something out if we have to." His thumb gently rubbed circles on the back of her hand as he turned his gaze to the sky as well. "No matter what happens I'll keep you and Octavia safe."

She blushed and turned towards him, appreciating the fact that he wasn't looking at her. Her eyes roamed his face, studying his features. She analyzed the light freckles spattering along his cheek bones to the strong jaw bones that he had, carving his face into the perfection that sat before her.

She found herself smiling as she watched him, quickly looking away when he turned towards her. He let out a small laugh as he gently grabbed her chin and pulled her back to face him. His hand lightly traced her jaw as he looked at her with a sparkle in his chocolate eyes. She reached up and grabbed his hand, holding it against her face. "Maybe this time we can keep each other safe?" She barely whispered the words as the heat spread through her face again and she made sure to keep her eyes on their hands.

He watched her for a moment before pulling his hand away from hers and wrapping them around her, bringing her into his chest. He pressed a light kiss to her head and held her against him for a few silent moments before he replied. "We can do that."

Her face was in the crook of his neck as he held her and she felt like she was in heaven. All she could smell was mint and pine, his scent, and it was enough to drive her completely crazy. Her hands rested against his chest and as she listened to and felt his heart beating beneath them, her smile continued to grow.

At that point she knew she needed him, desperately and completely and it didn't matter how. She'd always been afraid of her feelings for people since no one ever seemed to stick around but he seemed different. She hoped he was at least. After seeing everything Clarke was going through with loving Finn...she wasn't sure if she could go through that with Bellamy.

"Jamie?"

They both pulled apart from each other and turned towards Clarke as she slowly walked up to them, her cheeks bright red. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt I was just...I was hoping you had time to talk. I can wait though." She turned to walk back into the camp when Bellamy stopped her.

"No, it's okay. We were just going back in." He grabbed Jamie's hands and pulled her to her feet with him, smiling at her lightly. "I'll see you later."

She smiled and nodded, turning her attention to Clarke as they walked back into camp. Bellamy went his own way while Clarke drug Jamie to her tent. "Oh my God! What was that about?"

Jamie's cheeks reddened and she shrugged in response. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Um how about the intense embrace you were just in with our rebellious leader?" Clarke nearly squealed in excitement.

Jamie groaned and lay back against her cousin, covering her face with a pillow. "Nothing! It was nothing!" She screamed into the pillow with a smile on her face. She couldn't deny that she absolutely loved the embrace she had with Bellamy. She loved all of the time she spent with him.

"I'll give you this for now but only because I need to talk to you about something else." Clarke waited until Jamie removed the pillow from her face and gave Clarke her undivided attention. "We need to talk about Murphy."

"I just talked about Murphy with Bellamy!"

"Well, what did you guys decide?" Clarke crossed her arms over her chest as she looked down at Jamie.

"That we don't know what to do!"

Clarke laughed at Jamie's expression and hit her in the face with a pillow. "That won't work! We need to figure something out. Something real. He has been really helpful here lately and he did save your life but...does that erase the past?"

Jamie stared up at Clarke with a calculating expression before shrugging. "I don't know." She mumbled. "It's so hard. We can't just bring him back like nothing happened or the others might rebel against us or something. We can't just...kick him out either though or he'll get captured by grounders and tortured again. He deserves better than that."

"We could hold a vote?" Clarke asked.

Jamie narrowed her eyes at her cousin and immediately shook her head. "They nearly ripped his limbs apart last time! No, we definitely can't do that again. Let's just talk to Bell in the morning and see what he thinks."

"Oooooh, he's Bell now huh?" Clarke asked with a grin. Jamie hit her with a pillow and both girls laughed, feeling the best they had in a while on the ground together.

The next day Jamie and Clarke were watching as the campers worked on separating rations and doing their daily work routines. Jamie was just getting ready to go help Octavia in the meat tent when Bellamy approached with another one of the hundred.

"First watch is over. Go relieve Monroe on the south wall and keep your eyes open." The delinquent scurried away to do what Bellamy said and Bellamy shifted his gaze to the two blondes watching him. "Anything?" He asked no one in particular.

Clarke shrugged while Jamie replied, "it's been two days. Maybe the bomb at the bridge scared them off for good."

He smirked and moved slightly so his body was more aligned with Jamie's. "You believe that?"

She grinned and shook her head. "No, they're coming."

He grinned back at her as he replied. "Well, Jasper thinks he can cook up some more gunpowder if he gets some sulfur and Raven says she can turn that into landmines. So, be careful where you step."

Jamie let out a sarcastic, "ha" while Clarke mumbled, "funny".

They all started walking to a ledge on their perimeter, continuing the conversation as Jamie walked in between them.

"What I really need is a thousand more of her tin can bombs I can roll into their village and blow those grounders to hell." Bellamy stated, glancing over when neither girl spoke. "That's what they want to do to us."

"I can't believe we survived a hundred years just so we could slaughter each other." Jamie mumbled.

Clarke nodded in agreement. "There has to be another way." She stopped walking and looked up at Bellamy. "Any word from the Ark?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Radio silence. Finally ran out of air." He mumbled the last statement, drawing both of their attention again.

Clarke rested her hand on Jamie's shoulder lightly as she spoke. "Maybe our mom was lucky being on the Exodus ship. At least it was quick. No one is coming down to save us."

Jamie sighed and forced a small smile. "Let's go see if we can help Raven or Jasper. Okay?"

Clarke nodded, glancing at Bellamy briefly before following Jamie. They spent some time with Jasper before Jamie headed out to help Octavia instead. Both girls were covered in sweat in no time, working steadily, silently, with one another.

"Let's get this party smoking!" One of the delinquents said, dropping some wood on to the fire.

Octavia turned to him and shook her head with an exasperated sigh. "You don't want the fire too big. So, maybe just try to knock it down with some wet leaves."

"You get that from your boyfriend, grounder pounder?"

Jamie flipped around with narrowed eyes. "What did you say?"

"She's right." Murphy walked in and looked at the guy, stepping in between him and Jamie. "A hot fire is not gonna preserve the meat as well."

"You can't take the heat get out of the smokehouse. Should be kissing our asses for being allowed back in this camp." He smirked as he spoke but his expression faltered when Jamie stepped around Murphy.

"You got a problem?" She asked, narrowing her eyes again.

He shrugged and took a step towards her. "Maybe I do. What are you going to do about it?"

She pulled back her fist ready to throw a punch when Murphy grabbed her hand. "Don't, he isn't worth it." She shook him off and followed the kid out of the tent to hear him already talking shit to his friends. "And then she pulled back like she was going to hit me." His laugh was cut off as Jamie grabbed his shoulder and pushed him roughly against the nearest tree.

"You really talking shit as you're walking away from a girl that wants to fight you?" She got in his face and he shrank back away from her slightly. She could see the fear in his eyes and shook her head. "You're a coward, you know that? All talk with no follow through. I will beat the hell out of you if I hear you talking about her again, got it?"

When he didn't say anything she nailed him in the face with a hard punch. "Tell me you understand!"

"Jamie!"

Clarke pulled her away from the boy, moving to step in front of her cousin. "What are you doing?"

"Leave me alone you crazy bitch!" The boy yelled, still pressed up against the tree.

Jamie fought Clarke's hold on her and pointed at the boy in anger. "I swear to God if you..."

She was cut off as Bellamy's fist slammed into the kid's face. "What did you call her?"

"Bellamy!" Clarke moved forward and pushed Bellamy away from the boy. "Guys, stop this! You can't just go around punching people for no reason!"

"Did you not hear what he called Jamie?" Bellamy asked at the same time Jamie said, "He was a jackass to Octavia!"

The two glanced at each other before looking back at Clarke. She had her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes were narrowed. "I already feel like I'm raising ninety something kids. Don't make me raise two more."

Jamie groaned and rolled her eyes as she drug herself back into the meat tent.

"Well?"

She looked at Octavia and arched a brow. "Well what?"

"Who won the fight karate kid?" Octavia laughed after she finished speaking and Jamie found herself rolling her eyes again.